To Hell with the Rest (Saiyuki, Sanzo + Goku)
Title: To Hell with the Rest
Author: lady_ganesh
Rating: PG-13 for language
Warnings: Not really.
Pairing: Sanzo + Goku
Prompt: Non-sexual relationship/smarm; "Nothing to prove"
"Sanzo!" Goku never walked into the office. He ran sometimes, and sometimes he bounced, and once in a while he sulked, but he never just walked in like a normal human being.
Of course, he wasn't one. Maybe that was part of it.
"Can I ask you something?"
Or maybe he was just naturally annoying. "What?"
"What's hide the sausage? The monks said we were playing hide the sausage. Is it fun? Can we play it? Do I get to eat the sausage after?"
Sanzo winced. It wasn't as if he hadn't expected it. It still annoyed the shit out of him. "They're stupid. You should ignore them."
"But what does it mean?"
"It means they're idiots."
Goku could never just accept the simple answer. "Sanzoooo--"
Sanzo fixed him with his firmest glare. "It means they think I'm fucking you."
Goku's eyes went wide. "They think what?"
"You. Me. Fucking. Do you need a picture? Because you'll have to ask Chen for one, I don't keep that shit in my office."
Goku's brain was still trying to wrap itself around the concept. "Why do they think that?"
"Because they're idiots. And perverts. And because they think the only way you can put up with someone as annoying as you is by putting your dick in them."
Goku sank down in the chair. "...is that true?"
"You'd be amazed by the stupid shit people will believe."
"So it's not?"
Sanzo thought about sinking his face down on the desk, but decided to salvage what was left of his dignity. "No," he said, sighing heavily, "it's not."
"Oh," Goku said. "Well, good."
"I'm trying to do work."
"Yeah?" Goku perked up. "What are you doing?"
Sighing again wasn't going to get him anywhere. "Math," Sanzo said firmly. "Complicated math." Sanzo had thought about trying to teach Goku math, but wasn't convinced at all it was going to stick.
"Oooh."
"So if you could be quiet--"
"You won't even know I'm here!" Goku sat himself firmly in front of Sanzo's desk.
There was no sense arguing further. Sanzo went back to work.
To his surprise, Goku was quiet. Sanzo looked up after half an hour and realized the boy was asleep, and drooling on the top of his desk. A sharp smack with the fan remedied that little problem, and he managed to finish the rest of his work in blissful solitude.
He was just filing the last of the lot when Goku came back in. "What is it now?" He tried to put the right edge of irritation in his voice.
"The cherries are ripe," Goku said, dumping a pile at the edge of the desk. "You want some?"
Sanzo shrugged. Goku had washed them, which meant they were dripping on the desktop. Sanzo wondered what the monks would say if they realized their priceless heirloom was getting water marks.
He grinned and took one by the stem.
Author: lady_ganesh
Rating: PG-13 for language
Warnings: Not really.
Pairing: Sanzo + Goku
Prompt: Non-sexual relationship/smarm; "Nothing to prove"
"Sanzo!" Goku never walked into the office. He ran sometimes, and sometimes he bounced, and once in a while he sulked, but he never just walked in like a normal human being.
Of course, he wasn't one. Maybe that was part of it.
"Can I ask you something?"
Or maybe he was just naturally annoying. "What?"
"What's hide the sausage? The monks said we were playing hide the sausage. Is it fun? Can we play it? Do I get to eat the sausage after?"
Sanzo winced. It wasn't as if he hadn't expected it. It still annoyed the shit out of him. "They're stupid. You should ignore them."
"But what does it mean?"
"It means they're idiots."
Goku could never just accept the simple answer. "Sanzoooo--"
Sanzo fixed him with his firmest glare. "It means they think I'm fucking you."
Goku's eyes went wide. "They think what?"
"You. Me. Fucking. Do you need a picture? Because you'll have to ask Chen for one, I don't keep that shit in my office."
Goku's brain was still trying to wrap itself around the concept. "Why do they think that?"
"Because they're idiots. And perverts. And because they think the only way you can put up with someone as annoying as you is by putting your dick in them."
Goku sank down in the chair. "...is that true?"
"You'd be amazed by the stupid shit people will believe."
"So it's not?"
Sanzo thought about sinking his face down on the desk, but decided to salvage what was left of his dignity. "No," he said, sighing heavily, "it's not."
"Oh," Goku said. "Well, good."
"I'm trying to do work."
"Yeah?" Goku perked up. "What are you doing?"
Sighing again wasn't going to get him anywhere. "Math," Sanzo said firmly. "Complicated math." Sanzo had thought about trying to teach Goku math, but wasn't convinced at all it was going to stick.
"Oooh."
"So if you could be quiet--"
"You won't even know I'm here!" Goku sat himself firmly in front of Sanzo's desk.
There was no sense arguing further. Sanzo went back to work.
To his surprise, Goku was quiet. Sanzo looked up after half an hour and realized the boy was asleep, and drooling on the top of his desk. A sharp smack with the fan remedied that little problem, and he managed to finish the rest of his work in blissful solitude.
He was just filing the last of the lot when Goku came back in. "What is it now?" He tried to put the right edge of irritation in his voice.
"The cherries are ripe," Goku said, dumping a pile at the edge of the desk. "You want some?"
Sanzo shrugged. Goku had washed them, which meant they were dripping on the desktop. Sanzo wondered what the monks would say if they realized their priceless heirloom was getting water marks.
He grinned and took one by the stem.