Title: "Speak of the Devil"
Author:
sjenRating: NC-17 not worksafe
Warnings: BFF oyaji-bickering, swimsuit humiliation, and just a little sex
Word count: 3,023
Prompt: Tales of the Abyss, Peony/Jade: The difference in how Peony treats Jade the man and Jade the rappiggy - "I suppose there goes the last of my dignity."
A/N: Here's the REAL reason why Jade wore that bathrobe in the game-- "Resort King" my ass~
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Colonel Jade Curtiss indulged in mundane tasks... to a point. When it came to scientific experiments and Fonic research where precise detail was required, he excelled at it. Writing out endless military reports on events that had long since transpired, however, was ludicrous and boring. It was a futile game of catch up to be played, for no great purpose other than filling the dark voids of filing cabinets and musty old storage rooms with unnecessary data. It was not Jade's cup of tea.
As the pen nib scratched out his signature, finishing yet another report, Jade sighed. He'd not been out in the field for quite some time, ever since his adventure with Luke and everyone had come to its conclusion. Since then, he had been helping Emperor Peony rebuild broken bonds and restore Malkuth to its former splendor. Much of this required delegating, and it put the Colonel behind his desk for days on end. It made Jade restless, although loathe would be the day he outwardly showed it.
He had just started on another report, noting the date and time and other cursory information, when he saw a large pink object enter his office through the slightly ajar side door. He looked up; it was a rappig. It snuffled over to the only untidy corner of his office before finding a comfortable spot that must have felt like home and parking itself. Upon closer inspection of the animal, it appeared to be wearing a skimpy piece of pink attire. Jade almost visibly twitched. This was one of Peony's pets, without a doubt, and the fact that it had found its way here meant that the Emperor surely wasn't far behind--
"My cute little Jade!"
Speak of the devil.
"Oh my precious little Jade! Why do you always insist on running away like that?" Emperor Peony burst into the room and blurted out in a most undignified manner, kneeling by his pet and scooping the large animal into a clumsy embrace. The long-eared pig made disgruntled noises as the blonde man nuzzled its big fat cheek.
"Your Majesty," Jade started, considering the best way to dismiss the situation. However, seeing the absurdity of the sight before him, he abandoned the idea in favor of jabbing at his childhood friend instead, "perhaps there's a good reason why he keeps running away."
"Oh no, don't you dare accuse my cute Jade of being anything like you. He's not so aloof and grumpy."
Jade grinned secretively, nudging his glasses up further on his nose so they glinted in the light. "I would hardly call myself grumpy, Your Majesty. I'm just saying that maybe it could be because you're making him wear panties," Jade motioned to the fabric the rappig was wearing. Seeing the Emperor pampering his piggy namesake was always a little disturbing, but this behavior pushed the envelope. "Why exactly is that?"
"Because you won't wear them," Peony huffed, "and they're not panties, it's the bathing suit I picked out for you but you refused to wear."
"There's nothing wrong with my conservative bathrobe. Besides," Jade noted in a matter of fact tone, "I never heard you complaining about what I wore beneath it."
Peony chuckled knowingly, a doofy smile spreading across on his face. "No, no I didn't. But that's not the point!" He waved the fond memory away, moving on to seemingly more important things. "I'm your Emperor, and your friend, shouldn't you honor my wishes?"
Jade only smiled in reply. The Emperor scowled back at him.
"You are such a hassle."
"Shouldn't you be getting back to the palace? No one appreciates these little unannounced visits of yours."
"That would only be you. You're so cruel to me, Jade." Peony was stubborn, petting his rappig in defiance. He turned his full attention back to his pet, tweaking little Jade's ears until the pig let out a deep squeal that was quite akin to a cat's purr. "That's why I have you, my cute little Jade. You're never mean and you never argue. You're always a very agreeable Jade, and that's why I WUV YOU." The mighty Ninth Peony of Malkuth sat in the one messy corner of Colonel Jade's office (which could be directly attributed to the Emperor's own bad habits during many unannounced visits)... baby talking a pet pig and holding a grudge. Had Jade not known of the Emperor's commitment to his job when it truly mattered, he might have feared for the welfare of the country.
Jade grimaced, "Please stop that, Your Majesty. It's extremely disturbing."
Peony peered up at Jade innocently through thick blonde bangs. His hair jewel tapped against his cheek lightly as he twirked his head to the side in an all too mischievous manner. "Since when has that ever stopped me before?"
"It never has, Your Majesty."
"Jade, call me by my name," Peony commanded.
"Emperor Peony."
"You know what I mean," Peony demanded.
"Do I?" Jade continued, aloof as ever.
Peony sighed, pouting dramatically and pointing an accusatory finger at his friend as if he were the coldest creature in Keterburg and had just kicked a puppy. His brow furrowed, and he put on his Serious Emperor Face™, which rarely made appearances. "Alright then. As your Emperor, I have an order for you. One which you cannot refuse."
"Now you show interest in your influence?" Jade smirked with a nonchalant shrug.
"Only when it suits me. Which is no different from your own habits." Peony insisted.
"Very well. What will you have me do?" Jade humored him, vaguely curious as to what he was up to.
"Wear these." Peony pulled a duplicate pair of the atrocious bathing suit out of his pocket. Jade wondered just how long Peony had been carrying them around on his person for an opportunity such as this.
"I am not your pet." The dissent in Jade's voice was not as easily disguised this time. Jade vehemently disliked being treated as the Emperor's property.
"Prove it." Peony continued to hold out the offensive swim attire until Jade was forced to accept it. Reluctantly. "We'll see which Jade is cuter."
"And if I don't want to be cute?" Jade studied the stretchy fabric. It was not just pink, it was pink with small purple hearts along the waistband, and one giant heart on the rear of the appalling thing. He cringed and pondered whether the Emperor's poor taste or malicious nature was more responsible for this crime against fashion-- it was probably both.
"Then prove how uncute you are." Peony rested his chin in his hand, gazing intently at his friend's put-off expression. "You're never cute anyway, Jade, so you won't have much to worry about."
Jade held the swimsuit at arm's length as if being too close to it was hazardous to your health. It hung between his gloved forefinger and thumb, and he still did not feel safe. "No one could be cute in something this ugly anyway."
"Someday you will recognize my fashion genius."
"I heartily doubt that."
Nonetheless, Jade left his office and retreated to the adjoining quarters to change into the offending underwear. He usually resisted the Emperor's whims, but under the current circumstances (being that Jade was bored, of course), he wasn't entirely opposed to playing his games. It was better than the mindless sprawl of paperwork waiting for him at his desk. Besides, no one else would ever know.
Jade pulled the tiny piece of fabric up over his thighs and snapped the elastic taut. It only came up to mid-abdomen and the legs were cut high on the hips in a bikini style. It basically left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Jade smiled to himself. Peony never did have that great of an imagination.
When Jade returned to his office, he saw that Peony had moved to the small couch located by the bookshelves to one side. His Majesty lounged there casually, sprawled out in unconcerned bliss as if this were his room, just as any other. His arms lay along the back of the couch, and his legs were splayed wide and planted on the floor in front. Peony, his personality always larger than life, had to consume more space than was usually granted to a solitary person. In this case, he took up half of the sofa by just sitting there. For all Peony denied his privilege as an Emperor, he certainly took advantage of it in the most unassuming ways.
Peony whistled as Jade entered the room. "Nice."
"I thought I was always mean," Jade quipped, hands on his hips, showing his amusement.
"Not when you're showing that much thigh." Peony motioned with outstretched hands like a child demanding a toy.
"How undignified, Your Majesty." The Colonel made a face, but approached anyway, looming over His Majesty with bold confidence for a mostly naked man.
Peony reached up to trace his fingers along the waistband of the swimsuit, and along the straps of fabric at the hips. His fingertips hooked under the elastic just briefly to snap it against Jade's pale skin, delighting in the barest flinch of the Fonist's thighs. That was about all the restraint Peony could muster before his full palms found contact, running along Jade's ass and up under the fabric, grabbing him close. Jade simply stood there and allowed it, all the while not expressing his true motives in this endeavor.
Once the Emperor had seemingly run out of ways to touch him, Jade halted his progress with a coy smile, crawling forward to straddle Peony's lap. The Emperor was still entirely clothed, which actually involved layer upon layer of rather unflattering, billowing layers of fabric. Jade trapped him there under all that, leaning his full weight on his friend's lap, his bare legs tucked to either side of His Majesty's thighs. As Peony shifted and squirmed, and almost gasped, Jade placed his hands on the Emperor's shoulders and leaned in close until his amber hair brushed along Peony's cheek.
"I knew you would fall for this." Jade whispered in His Majesty's ear.
Peony froze, his eyes staring wide up at evil, evil Jade. "You planned--?"
"From the beginning." Jade confirmed. "What else but denying you your way would entice you to pursue something so earnestly? I prefer playing with you at your full capacity. I even put that trashy swimsuit catalog in your room because I knew you wouldn't drop it."
"That's not fair... I'm not your experiment." Peony pouted, showing disdain at being taken advantage of, even though he deserved it just as much as Jade did.
"And I'm not your pet." Jade ran his fingertips along Peony's cheek, cupping his jaw softly. His touches were gentle, but they both knew the potential for malice lurked just under the surface. "So that settles it."
"I guess it does." Peony leaned up to peck Jade on the cheek, ever so chaste, and then he added, "If you were looking to prove how stubborn you are."
"No more stubborn than you."
"Now that you're done with all of your gloating, let's not forget that the end results are in my favor-- You. This teeny tiny bathing suit. On my lap."
"Well you can't deny the facts, can you?" Jade allowed the Emperor his victory, but took the spoils for himself. Pushing adept fingers through Peony's thick blonde hair, Jade caressed the base of his friend's neck casually while holding him in place for a deep, lingering kiss. It was the type of kiss that commanded silence and attention, and even Peony had to obey it. After several moments of just sitting there in awe and letting Jade manipulate him easily, however, Peony stirred into action and kissed back rambunctiously, kneading Jade's buttocks with eager hands.
Whenever the two old friends finally stopped playing their mind games with each other, which included all the underhanded sarcasm, biting comments, and jovial insults... Peony and Jade reverted to nothing more than the immature, oversexed adolescents they never really had a chance to be back in Keterburg while growing up. Peony could drop his propriety without a second thought, but Jade never could. He had been raised as a solider from a young age and it was ingrained in his person; Peony was his Emperor, Jade's purpose was his country. Only after years of wearing him down could Peony extract rare moments like this from Jade. Moments where the both of them could let go of everything that anchored them down and throw all caution to the wind.
Peony sucked on Jade's tongue relentlessly until the Colonel finally had to retreat for oxygen. Jade was certain that His Majesty would opt for suffocation rather than conceiting defeat to a kiss from him. No matter. Peony gazed up at him, playing with Jade's hair as he considered something. The Emperor reached up and slowly removed his friend's glasses, setting them to one side and tucking loose golden strands of hair behind Jade's ear.
"They're fake, right, the glasses? You don't need them." Peony inquired even though he already knew the answer.
"Well I don't need them for this, but their purpose is very real."
"I only care about right now."
"Of course you do." Jade truly had no need for the Fonon-restricting device at the moment, as he had no intention of limiting any of his actions here. He pressed his lower body against Peony's until his captive moaned, despite the many layers of fabric separating them. "And all of this clothing, is it really necessary? You don't need it." Jade returned.
"Too true," Peony whimpered, and groaned, and squirmed under his resilient friend, pleading with Jade to scoot back so he could begin remedying the very problem. But Jade remained, moving only far enough so he had room to tug at the shawl surrounding Peony's waist and unfasten it himself. Then he moved to His Majesty's pants, and took his dear sweet time in undoing them, and even then, only removed them far enough to access what he wanted. As the Colonel slipped skilled fingers down the front of the Emperor's pants, the blonde crooned in defeat and begged his friend to end him swiftly. Peony clearly had a penchant for overdrama, as Jade knew His Majesty begged for nothing, never conceited defeat in anything, and always got what he wanted.
Sure enough, it was not long before Peony's fingers found their way to Jade's own hidden places. Jade gasped as his friend touched him privately, coaxing sounds out of the Colonel that a soldier such as himself would never willingly make. Leaving the swimsuit on, Peony only pushed it to one side, granting himself access without freeing his friend from the humiliating attire. The restricting entrapment Jade had played upon Peony earlier was turned around on him with very little effort.
Peony ran his hand over the straining bulge barely hidden beneath tight pink fabric. He smiled when Jade shivered. "If you would, there's lube in my pocket...
"You apparently carry everything around in your pocket," Jade remarked snidely, fumbling around anxiously for the tube nonetheless.
"I like to be prepared." Peony kissed Jade again, softly. His words may have been callous and sarcastic, but Peony's actions held nothing but legitimate care and concern for his friend. Peony's now slick fingers found their way inside Jade, stroking him intimately until the Colonel could no longer claim to be any manner of strict or responsible, or even sane. Jade leaned against Peony, arching his butt in the air and yearning for something more fulfilling. His body language begged for it more than his words ever would. "But," Peony said almost breathlessly, "I'm never prepared when I see you like this. I need you, Jade..."
"Please, Peony--" Jade dropped the formalities.
Peony grunted and pulled Jade by the hips, guiding himself until he was fully seated. Jade's insides quivered at the intrusion, but it was familiar and comfortable just the same. The Colonel curled his fingers in Peony's shirt as he rocked his hips-- the sharp pleasure almost hurt more than the initial pain. It sliced through him and drowned him, and when all Jade could do was tremble on the Emperor's lap in bliss, Peony went one further to completely undo his friend. His Majesty tucked the swimsuit to one side, removing the final barrier that kept Jade restrained. Peony held his freed arousal firmly, stroking from base to tip in time with his upward thrusts. Jade buried his face against Peony's shoulder as the Emperor moaned in Jade's hair. That was all it took.
There was irony in the fact that all their foreplay could last for hours, but the climax of the event itself had come and gone in mere moments. If they spent less time teasing each other and riling each other up past the point of tolerance, perhaps the outcome could have been more longterm and satisfying. However, quick and desperate had sort of become their practice; they were no better than a couple of horny teenagers hiding it from their parents, or in this case, Peony's guards and Jade's men. Despite being older now and having seen each other grow up, Jade wondered if they would ever actually mature. He was certain they never would, and was content in that fact.
Jade recovered slowly, hugging Peony for support and panting softly as he licked his parched lips. Peony kissed along his neck, having been reduced to his rather adorable post-coital snuggling phase.
"Now who's undignified?" Peony patted Jade's ass in weak triumph.
"I guess that would be me." Jade smiled and didn't care. Jade really, really didn't care. Only the Emperor could bring all of his carefully constructed walls crashing down, and Jade would reward him for it with fleeting moments of vulnerability and absolute humiliation. It felt too good not to indulge in.
"Hmm," Peony drawled on, considering his decision. "That's why my little Jade is definitely cuter than you."
"I may just be offended by that." Jade smirked.
Jade the rappig grunted his own disdain from the corner.
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