Kingdom Hearts: (Organization XIII/Riku)

[syvia]

Title: Omission (Part Four)
Author/Artist: Syvia
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Adult language and sex of dubious consent.
Word Count: 9778 and counting
Summary: They think he's the Replica. The longer Riku is stranded in The World that Never Was, the harder it becomes to play along.
Notes: Riku hates me! XD This chapter shall be known as the 'day' that never ends.

I'd like to thank my lovely beta osmandias for her continuing aid and encouragement, and the lovely crimsoncookie for her beta-to-the-head. :D
Prompt: - Kingdom Hearts, OrganizationXIII/Riku: D/S - They thought he was the Replica.

Part One Part Two Part Three


Riku walked faster, searching for an exit. The castle had had a front door, a door that led outside... most likely to somewhere in this very city. Maybe the city did as well. He was further from the Nobodies and he hadn't seen any Dusks yet- he'd chance the Keyblade if he found somewhere to use it.

The uneven stones hurt his feet. He stubbed his toes on them and convinced himself it was nothing- he'd run around the Islands for years barefoot and uncaring. Hot sand was a hell of a lot more painful than cobblestone. He'd sparred with Saix again and again- this was nothing. Lack of shoes wasn't as much of a deterrent as they wanted it to be- he wouldn't let it become one.

Then it started to rain.

He cursed silently and pulled his hood up. The rain was cold and went from drizzle to torrent almost instantly. His arms were bare, his hands were bare, and his clothes weren't waterproof.

Riku heard a sound- he turned and watched a puddle blink- golden eyes which pulled Darkness from the ground and through the water collecting in a lower part of the road.

Heartless.

Oh, this was just getting better and better.

He reached for his armor- felt a sudden, inexplicable chill and stopped, denying the instinct. He hadn't used his armor since Castle Oblivion- just as he hadn't used the portals. Riku tightened his jaw and called fire to his hand, uncomfortable with the realization that he didn't know how well the armor would still work.

He sneered when he thought about his confidence- how severely it had been diminished.

Pathetic.

Well, if the Heartless wanted him, they would have him, and they did want him. They flocked to him, rising from the pavement, skittering toward him, antennae wiggling, claws grasping and reaching.

He cuffed them out of the way- burning them with the fire in his palms when he didn't just shoot them down. He dodged, ducked, and destroyed them with magic. Then his reserves were spent- and the Heartless were still coming.

He took a step back, then another- then flung his hand into the air before he realized why he was doing it. Riku caught the blade by the handle and nearly dropped it, startled by the tremor running through his arm- straight into his heart. Then the Heartless were on him- and then they were falling before him, sheared easily as blades of grass. He knew this dance and gave into it.

Riku felt something pulling on him and ignored it, kept fighting. Whatever it was, it wasn't enough of a distraction to matter, and it wasn't physical. His... heart... kept tugging. The sword was responsible. No- no that wasn't really true. It helped, but it wasn't the reason for what he was feeling. The Heartless became less and less inclined to stick around and fight, some disappearing on their own as he dispatched more of them- Riku could maneuver enough to get a look at his surroundings, at the one helping him.

It finally dawned on him that the Heartless were turning into glowing jewels of light- pink and gold, which drifted upward and disappeared into the Darkness- and they pulsed in time with the golden moon above him.

He was holding a Keyblade and it... wasn't his. It felt like maybe it should have been-

"See? I made one for you too." He held out the 'sword', merely a square-ish bit of driftwood with a cross-piece to show what was the hilt. They weren't quite identical, but close enough.

A hand, small as his own, took it. Riku saw a brilliant grin, wide blue eyes-

Riku snatched it back- tried to keep hold, cursed and chased after a retreating Heartless, reducing it to shreds of ink and a fleeing heart in his anger. Another memory- here and gone.

There weren't anymore close to him- the other fighter stood a few yards away, dispatching Heartless with a vigor that belayed his lack of heart. It was a Nobody- by the coat, at least. Riku stared down at his hand. He was holding a Keyblade- and so was the Nobody. The rain intruded once more upon his senses and Riku felt cold to his bones- tried not to shiver.

He'd thought he'd have more time. He wasn't sure for what- to explore the city, before he met... him.

Footsteps echoed on the stones, disrupting puddles and the pulse in the Keyblade was growing stronger.

Rainwater had soaked through his vest, through his shirt. His pants offered a little more protection but his feet were so icy he almost couldn't feel them. His socks were entirely soaked and the line of skin at the top of them was as wet as the rest of his feet, ankles. Okay. He could admit it.

He missed having shoes.

Run or fight, he told himself. Right now.

"Not bad."

Riku did neither, turning to face the speaker.

The Nobody was looking at him, hood up- which only made sense... it was raining. He moved forward, Keyblade still out although it wasn't held in a threatening manner. Riku glanced at the keychain and stared. That was Kairi's charm. He had a second to identify it- then it was gone, white sparks and a point of gold where the tip of the blade had been.

He swallowed. "Thanks for the loan." Riku held out the other blade, not wanting to let it go- and he didn't have to. The Keyblade disappeared from his hand and re-formed in the Nobody's grasp. The black hood dipped slightly and a free hand rose to cup the teeth of the blade. The Nobody turned it over, raised the hilt and lowered his other hand to the keychain, examining it as if he'd never seen it before.

Riku turned, determined to act natural- not to run. He wouldn't panic, he'd just-

-stop short at the sight of two Dusks and four naked blades directly behind him.

Damnit... "I was going to check out more of the city before heading back to the castle," he called over his shoulder. Which sounded insane even as he said it- felt insane. He was cold, wet- maybe he wasn't all that tired, the fight hadn't been that bad, but the rain wasn't slacking off and he was only getting colder.

"Without shoes?"

That was another good point.

The voice wasn't right.

Where had that thought come from?

"Yeah. I'm fine without 'em," Riku said lightly. He turned, since the Dusks weren't going to back off, and felt the weight of the Nobody's stare.

"...Right."

The Keyblade disappeared in a shimmer of black and dark blue sparks. He put out a hand as if pushing on an invisible wall just beside him, opened a portal. The Nobody jerked a thumb at it.

"Go."

Riku paused. Fight or run.

You're just such a good little Replica. In that moment, he wasn't sure if the voice was Ansem or his own. He hated it regardless.

He walked into the portal.

***

He came out into a room that greatly resembled his own. Bed, furniture in which to hold clothing, a door at the far end which probably led into a bathroom, all stark white. The difference was objects- little bits of color here and there that displayed ownership. This room belonged to someone. On the wall by the bed was a scroll with a painting of the beach and calendar months that Riku couldn't name. There were books on the top of the bureau, a hairbrush, clothes lying on the floor that Dusks were just now zipping in to collect.

There was something about it- the location of the clutter. Riku tried not to see a connection. It was a lived-in room, that was all. He'd stepped far enough in that the Nobody didn't collide with him when he entered. Riku stayed where he was, within arm's reach of the portal. The Nobody walked right past him, not sparing a glance, and headed to the closet. Riku slipped his fingers into the Darkness, found it still connected to the city.

"Don't do it."

The voice was quiet, cautioning. It held a promise of force, should the order be disobeyed. Riku thought about it, knew he still didn't have a sure way to get out of this world. He curled his fingers against his palm, pulling them out of the portal while leaving his hand up, ready.

"I wasn't-"

"-And don't lie to me."

"How about I get a word out first and then you decide whether it's a lie," he suggested. Almost instantly he flinched, and hoped the twitch had gone unnoticed. He shouldn't have said that. This was the Keyblade master, number XIII- last of the Organization, but he still ranked higher than the Riku Replica. He'd also caught Riku out-of-bounds... but he might not know that.

The Nobody turned slowly to face him- hood still up, his gaze hard even unseen. "How about," he said in that still hostile, potentially dangerous voice, "you learn early that lying to me is a bad idea, and never do it at all?"

He'd already ducked his head, trying to cover the mistake, stuffing back his first response- more snark. The Nobody turned back to his closet, pulled his hood down and the jacket off- letting it fall in a squelching mass to the floor. He took out another- identical to the first, but dry, and pulled it on.

Riku stood there, mouth dry. In the sudden quiet his heartbeat seemed so loud- felt loud, and he wanted....

He stared at tawny gold hair revealed by the lack of hood. The Nobody stooped down briefly, extracted something from the closet and then backed out, shutting the door when he moved far enough from it. Then he turned.

Riku froze completely. His felt a brief moment of panic and he was sure his heart had stopped. He knew that face. Those eyes- he'd stared into them before. The hair was all wrong and the face wasn't exactly the same but-

"You recognize me."

Riku shut his mouth. "I-" he almost backed up when the Nobody advanced on him, expression tight and intense. "I don't," which was truth, "but I feel like I should," and maybe he shouldn't have said it.

"What's my name?"

His impulse to say that the Nobody sounded like a slighted girlfriend came and died in a wave of horrified disbelief. He didn't know what he was thinking. This wasn't Ansem taking over. This didn't feel foreign, this felt like him, but the ideas- the desires he felt, made no sense. He stared down into the Nobody's eyes and felt terrified bemusement at how intimidating the blond seemed, despite being shorter. But why did it surprise him? He didn't have any concept of how this should go- hadn't met this Nobody before.

You're S... he'd known Roxas was his Nobody but he hadn't really thought about it. Simple information about a thing couldn't always prepare you for the reality.

"You're-" and his mouth still wanted to say that other name. He made a noise and finally said, "Roxas. You're number XIII."

The Nobody backed down a bit- the lines on his face smoothed. He reached for Riku's hood- Riku just managed to keep from jerking away, helped instead, showing his face. He saw the drops of water on Roxas' gloves, didn't feel them as a hand lay against his jaw. He was still wet- he kept forgetting... or else it didn't seem that important.

Standing here... this close. It felt almost like being home.

He wasn't sure who moved first. Riku heard something hit the floor and they were kissing. He didn't think, 'this might be a bad idea'. He didn't think how this wasn't in keeping with the rest of the half-remembered visions of a brown-haired boy who wielded the Keyblade. He knew being this close was familiar. He knew it was the closest he'd been to one of his best friends in... longer than he could remember. It wasn't the same. It wasn't the same, but he didn't want to stop.

He'd closed his eyes- there were arms around his back, fingers digging into his vest. Riku buried his hands in soft hair and this was nothing like Demyx had kissed him. This was clumsy, all lips and no tongue, teeth nipping, sometimes painfully, at his mouth. He felt warmer now despite his saturated clothing- he smelled the portal as it opened but didn't think about what it meant until-

"Damn, kid. I knew you moved fast, but I didn't think you were this fast."

Riku froze and Roxas drew back without letting go of him. Riku tried to pull away- the hands on his back tightened.

Xigbar stepped further into the room, smirking. "You've known him for all of what, two minutes?"

Blue eyes narrowed. Riku didn't look away, didn't want to be standing there anymore- not with an audience. Roxas didn't seem to want to let him go. Riku wanted out but didn't know how Roxas would react if Riku pushed him away.

"Now now," Xigbar murmured, still smirking. "The Replica's a little wet, and I don't think he's had breakfast. No one's gonna take away your new friend."

Roxas finally released him, took a step back, and glared at Xigbar. "I have questions to ask him."

Riku felt abruptly colder and more unsettled than ever.

"Oh yeah- that's what you were doing. Anyway, later. Replica," he waggled his fingers and Riku approached him, "get dried off, something to eat- and then we're gonna talk about your little trip into the city."

He looked slowly up at Xigbar's wolf-like grin. "I was-"

"Or did Demyx come down on you for something?" he asked, wiping two fingers over Riku's arm. Drops of water collected and slithered downward. Riku tried not to blush and give away the fact that Demyx had wanted to come down on him... or something similar. "No unsupervised trips out of the castle," he said, patting Riku's cheek.

"I'm going stir-crazy," Riku said, jerking away. The words poured out of his mouth before he realized how true they were. "I haven't been out of the castle in how many days now? At least Castle Oblivion had fake sunlight."

"If you wanted more training, all you had to do was ask."

He swallowed his response before he could begin shouting. Halfway down the hall, it occurred to him to wonder what Roxas had thought of that exchange.

***

He bathed the cold out of his limbs and tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. He'd kissed him.

Riku couldn't exactly remember what had happened, but he knew he had been kissing Roxas (and Roxas had kissed back).

There had been Xigbar's little 'examination', Axel's blackmail, Demyx' offer... and his most recent... he didn't want to put words to what had happened, more interested in figuring out why it messed with his head so badly. He'd been an active participant for everyone except Demyx- had only gone along with Xigbar's suggestion because it would finish things more quickly. He'd had sex with Axel as a bribe... but Axel was right. They hadn't 'meshed'. He'd been more or less willing, but he hadn't been interested.

But he had kissed Roxas.

So he was... interested... in Roxas?

No. That didn't sound right, even if it felt true. He'd liked the familiarity- wanted to cling to it and the sense of home. That sounded wrong. Even as he considered the fact that Roxas was a Nobody, and what would he care? It just... felt wrong. Roxas was some part of his friend- someone connected to him just as deeply as Kairi.

But wasn't Naminé the same part of Kairi that Roxas was of Sora? He hadn't reacted to Naminé so... enthusiastically. There was a difference... and maybe it was because he had Kairi in a sense. He could remember her- dreamed about her. Riku could imagine what it would be like to kiss her, remember what it was to hold her and be around her. He didn't have anything left of Sora... except Roxas. He had to repeat the anagram in his head just to remember Sora's name.

Maybe it was being aware of the absence- the gap in his memories- in his heart. He wanted to fill it so badly that he'd cling to whatever remained just to have a taste of what he'd lost.

Now who did he sound like?

"That's another thing we have in common."

Riku propped his head in his hand, sighing. He didn't want to sympathize. He couldn't fall into that trap and he couldn't stay here. Oh yes- the Organization seemed so very worthy of sympathy, lacking their hearts. They seemed so very altruistic, destroying Heartless.

They sent the Darkness into worlds to create more Heartless, for the purpose of killing them and expanding Kingdom Hearts. He knew that- had known that before he'd come here. He could smell their Darkness, but he knew enough that he couldn't say they were evil just because they were dark. Still, just because you were willing to do things for others didn't make you good.

***

Walking into the kitchen yielded a rare sight- Saix occupied a seat near the head of the table and wielded a fork and knife as politely as the most pompous nobleman Riku had ever seen, and he smiled at Axel, speaking on the other side of the table.

It was not a 'nice' smile, which kept Riku from thinking he'd walked into an alternate reality. His face looked the same as it ever did- maybe it was just seeing him at a meal... of course the diviner had to eat, the rest of them did, but seeing him engaged in something so normal...

Maybe he should be even more freaked out.

Luxord also sat at the table, on the same side as Saix, but a bit away from the other two. His cards were absent for once, and although he did not appear to be participating in the conversation, he was obviously paying attention.

"-a risk I'm willing to take," Axel was saying as Riku entered.

The conversation stepped back and vanished when they noticed him.

They stared.

"Well?" Axel asked, lips quirking. "C'mon. Have some Nebry." He tossed a hand at an enormous platter on the countertop- on it was... Riku had no idea. It resembled an enormous caterpillar and smelled like some kind of roasted meat. Two bowls sat further down the counter and when he got close enough, Riku found one was salad, the other some kind of noodles in sauce. It all smelled appetizing enough, and looked much less disturbing than some of the things Riku had seen Ursula put in her mouth.

He tried to ignore the eyes on his back.

"The Dusks lifted it from a table of noble old lizards," Axel said- to him or to the others at the table, Riku didn't know. "I'm told they were pissed- looked funny as hell."

The Nebry had already been cut in several places- not only the meat, but the spine, was shorn clear though. He wondered abruptly if Saix had carved- there was a slightly dirty knife on the side of the platter which looked as if it could have skewered a Largebody.

He thought about the table arrangement as he filled his plate, then turned, walked over and quite deliberately took the seat next to Axel and further away from Saix. They continued to stare at him for a moment- he caught Axel's smirk in his peripheral vision.

Then conversation and eating- by those who had something in front of them- resumed. Saix questioned Axel on the current status of a mission- Axel was confident that it would work out in his favor. Riku listened, suspicious- and then he couldn't concentrate on the conversation. His heart stuttered. He didn't look up- then realized he should just act normal- turned to acknowledge the new arrival.

But Roxas wasn't there.

The others sitting at the table took note of his action, and heard the footsteps. Riku hurriedly shifted his gaze back to his plate, but they'd seen his mistake. He felt them glancing at him, then at Roxas, when he finally came in. Riku glared at Axel.

"What?"

"Nothing," Axel said, and continued to smirk.

Roxas didn't look at anyone, didn't pause- he went to the counter and fixed himself a plate, then walked to the table.

Don't sit by me, don't sit by me, don't- damnit... He kept eating, but his pulse felt different- as if the earlier slip had set it off entirely.

Or maybe it was finally back to normal.

He ate faster- needing to get out of there, away from Axel's smirk and Roxas' deceptively emotionless gaze. Saix' conversation that tried so hard to be normal, but managed only a shoddy facsimile of the act. Fire, light and insanity and he couldn't eat anymore- his composure was fading-

He stood, and his legs unexpectedly trembled beneath the weight of... his own body.

Riku fell back into the chair and before Axel could say anything-

"Don't get up, kid. We can do it here," Xigbar said, walking into the kitchen.

There was a moment where Riku almost blushed- which thankfully passed.

"The gang's all here," Demyx murmured, smiling as he dropped into a seat beside Luxord.

"Eight spades and a Joker do not a full suit make, Demyx," the gambler corrected. "Nor should it be forgotten that two of the cards are missing."

"...Most of the gang is here."

"I know what ya mean, kid," Xigbar said, talking to Demyx but smirking at Riku. "Nice little family dinner." That single golden eye fixed upon Riku as he stepped between the chairs and sat down across from him. Riku tried not to think at all. As far as his emotions were concerned, he didn't care what Xigbar was going to say- and he shouldn't, because no one else did either. It didn't matter that they were doing this in front of most of the Organization. Riku had no reason to feel bad about chastisement.

Somehow he didn't think that would lessen the humiliation.

He could think about Axel when he imagined someone's hands on him, and he could think about target practice when his mind pulled up past interactions with Xigbar. What frightened him was the sudden realization that they'd become authority figures. These were his enemies- he should have been fighting them, or preparing to; even as they had him surrounded. His idiot mind had put them all into categories, and because they outranked the Riku Replica, what they said and thought had weight- they could take issue with Riku's actions and he had to accept consequences if he did something they didn't like. He wasn't an equal here. His arms and hands were bare- the cold of the floor seeped through his socks. He wasn't one of them- they didn't matter.

Riku heard himself apologizing and hated it. "I wanted to get out for a while," he said, still meeting Xigbar's gaze. "The scenery's kinda dull."

"Left without shoes," Xigbar said wryly.

"I wasn't going to be gone that long," and he stared at Xigbar partly to ignore the rest of them. He could still feel Axel's smirk and see the careful disinterest in Luxord's face.

"You can't build your own portals, kid-" Xigbar smiled patronizingly, "how were you planning to get back?"

"If you hadn't come to get me," Riku said in the exact same tone, "I would've figured something out. You never said I couldn't take a walk outside."

He didn't look away, determined to hold Xigbar's gaze, and the gunner leered.

"Don't play dumb. You're not convincing enough," he tsked, leaned back in his chair. "If no footwear isn't enough to keep you in the house, I guess I'll just have to think up a better motivation."

Something in his tone or maybe in his words- it was like flipping a switch. All of a sudden Riku felt all the eyes in that room, and it was like a dozen swords unsheathed and pointed. He sat very still.

"You think getting your memory wiped is the worst the Organization can do? Kid, that was a swat on the ass- and you weren't even being punished. With us, you really can't guarantee you won't get fucked over just because shit happens." His eye and his smile narrowed. "But cross us, and we will make your life hell."

He couldn't look away. He wanted to- but Riku didn't dare show that he was nervous.

"Now, I get that you're working from a handicap- Vex was lazy- let you mouth off and probably do whatever you felt like. Works fine when you can just make bad habits," he snapped his fingers, "vanish. But we don't have Naminé to do that anymore. So we learn by pain and humiliation," he said pleasantly. There was a pause- to let the thought sink in. "Mostly pain- it's kinda difficult to humiliate a Nobody. Saix here," his tone was almost cheerful as he flipped a hand toward the diviner, "knows a lot about pain. I hear fire doesn't do all that much, but you haven't seen how creative the rest of us can get. We remember enough about the heart to get all the juicy bits- squeeze 'em till all you wanna do is scream."

"Sir," Riku murmured, more differential than he'd ever been before, "I thought you wanted me to work on my power..."

"What we tell you- when we tell you."

Riku nodded once.

"Or- pain. Or, in your case, humiliation." Xigbar shifted his hands as if they were the sides of an invisible scale. "Or pain and humiliation. For example," his voice sharpened and Riku knew he wouldn't like what came next. "If I told you to strip, right here, and get on your hands and knees on the table-" the smile disappeared and he leaned forward, lifting a hand above the white marble and pointing.

His heart had stopped... or something else had reacted. He almost glanced at Roxas, almost looked at the others- he wanted to see their reactions even as the thought of finding anything like anticipation made his stomach clench. Riku moved one hand, closing it over the zipper on his vest. The slide of metal teeth echoed in his ears. He stood, shoving his chair back with his legs, let the vest slip off his shoulders. He couldn't think about it- not about this, not about what would happen when he got onto the table. He didn't expect anyone to intervene. None of them spoke, none of them left, and it made more sense as he grasped the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head.

This was about who was in charge- but not just over him. Xigbar was second highest- everyone at the table had to follow orders, whether they'd been given or not. They had to wait- to be told what to do, or dare to ask. As far as Xigbar knew- the Replica had assumed that, just because he hadn't been told to stay inside- he thought he could leave. The point was that he should have assumed that he wasn't allowed- or asked for permission. You couldn't beg forgiveness from beings that had none.

Riku willed his hands not to shake- reached for his pants and undid them quickly, before he could lose his nerve. They fell to the floor and he hooked a thumb under the elastic in his boxers-

"Kid."

He stopped.

"I said 'if'."

Riku's expression hadn't changed. He hadn’t dropped his gaze. He stared at Xigbar and stood there- almost naked. The gunner smiled, as if he liked what he saw. "Why don't you put your clothes back on and go play, hmm?"

Riku gave Xigbar a stiff little bow, pulled up his pants and collected the shirt and vest. He walked out as quickly as he could without running.

***

He started running when he knew he was out of sight of the kitchen door and didn't stop until he found one of the outside pathways. It wasn't exactly fresh air, but it was air, and moving wind. He couldn't see Kingdom Hearts from here and he could think... he could try to think.

Riku clutched the railing and closed his eyes, breathing slow and deep. Out. He was getting out and he was damn well getting out now. He reached inside himself-

Riku.

Shut up- I'm not interested.

Laughter.

Riku gathered every scrap of power within him- pulling it into his hands- forcing it through his skin and into the air, trying to push through this world into the realm of Darkness. He didn't have to get right into another world- if he could just get out of this one, he'd have some options- if he could just...

He shuddered at the unexpected sense of contact, like a cold hand stroking his cheek.

It may be your Darkness, but it is also my sanctuary. How far can you open your heart- how much Darkness you can take into yourself- before you take me as well?

It doesn't matter. You can't control me. You're not strong enough anymore.

I become stronger when you remember me- when you forget to resist. The further you slip into Darkness, the less you fight.

The more I believe your lies, the less I fight, Riku corrected. I use my Darkness. My heart.

He heard laughter again and forced himself to ignore it as he drew power, dormant and newly accepted, into his hands, into his need to get out of this place. Riku imagined the world as a wall and the Darkness as a doorway...

that would not open.

Ansem laughed at him.

Did you think yourself powerful, Riku? Did you think all that I so generously bestowed upon you was yours all along? Your Darkness is yours, but your power was mine. Perhaps you should have considered that before you so cruelly forsook me.

He slid to the ground, catching himself on his hands.

Yes, the voice purred, kneel. Beg for forgiveness and I will teach you power once again.

"No."

Riku-

There were footsteps behind him. Riku sucked the power back into his body with a pained gasp, extended it past skin and cloth to form his armor. The Souleater fell into his hand as he turned, lifted his arm-

Axel raised a bladed metal circle that glowed with heat- and blocked the sword.

"Smart, that," he said tightly, "trying to open a portal right after you get slapped down for breaking curfew."

"What do you want?" Riku bit out.

"Thought you might be doing something stupid. Looks like I was right."

Riku got to his feet and Axel let him, keeping pressure on the blade to hold it still, but letting him stand.

"I can hear your heart," Axel murmured. "Funny how the Darkness gets your blood up, isn't it?"

"Not really," Riku answered, stepping backward. Axel remained where he was, neither put away their weapons. "It's just like any other kind of exercise."

Axel let his smirk call Riku a liar and shifted from side to side, raising the bladed wheels- it turned out he had two- slightly, stretching and making himself ready.

Riku watched him raise one hand sharply to the opposite shoulder and dove to the side as Axel lunged. He threw a fireball to distract and followed it in. Axel blocked it with one circle, and used the other to block the Souleater. Riku slashed from side to side as fast as he could, staying close- Axel blocked as fast as Riku struck, over and over, until Riku overextended. Axel planted a foot in his chest and sent him sprawling.

Riku was back up instantly and struck one of the wheels off-course. The other caught him across the right shoulder. He stepped back, but Axel was following him, one wheel engaging the Souleater. He grabbed Riku's wrist in the empty hand, pinning it against the wall. He was smiling again. Riku grabbed his collar and pulled. He sagged against the wall and Axel's forehead cracked into it, just above Riku's shoulder. The blow made Axel groan and stumble backward, blinking. Riku pushed with both hands, dispelling the Keyblade for the seconds it took for him to follow Axel to the ground- then he called it up again, pressed it beneath the Nobody's chin.

Axel panted softly, an open-mouthed grin that made Riku sneer.

"Do I make you feel?" he asked. "Is that why you want me around?"

"I keep telling you," Axel said, grinning lazily, "but you won't listen-"

"Yeah, I'm 'safer' here. Like I believe that."

Axel quirked a brow, utterly unconcerned by the sword laid bare at his throat. Riku tightened his hand in Axel's coat, felt the absence of heartbeat beneath his fingers.

"You know- it's impressive. A Keyblade Master's heart is really powerful," Axel lay there, arms stretched out to his sides. "You can love 'em or hate 'em, but you have to feel something. Even left over bits of them can make you react," he murmured.

Riku stayed there, not really pinning him, Axel was too long for that. He sat on the Nobody, and Axel let him. Riku had a feeling that it was nothing to do with the Keyblade.

"Roxas?" Riku guessed.

"You too."

Riku couldn't help it- he twitched at the sound of his voice, the look on Axel's face. He leaned close and hissed practically into his mouth.

"I don't want to be here."

Axel gave the closest thing to a genuine smile that Riku had ever seen on his face.

"Well gee, kid, none of us are here because we want to be." His smile looked amused, almost gleeful. His voice was hard, sharp as his weapons. "Did you think we liked it? We're the parts of people who were too fucking stubborn to give up and die after losing their hearts. Kingdom Hearts is our only shot at getting them back."

Something in his memory- shrouded in darkness- whispered that that wasn't true. Sora was alive. He should have been a Heartless, shouldn't he? He was alive, and because of that, Roxas could wield the Keyblades.

His armor started to fade. Riku didn't hang on to it, climbing slowly to his feet and stepping away from Axel- he stepped quickly as a leg swept close to his ankles- avoided the first attack-

Riku stumbled at the second- fell and cracked his head on the ground. His vision sparked and Axel breathed hot into his ear. "Keep your guard up- and don't tell Roxas anything about Castle Oblivion." Then he was gone.

Riku covered his face with his hand and waited for the spinning to stop.

***

He didn't go back inside. He wandered, head aching. He felt better beneath the sky- the Darkness. He almost wished for that potion he'd stowed beneath his bed. This was nothing- a little crack on the head. He'd be fine. Riku paused when the path split- he could go further up or down in another direction. He rubbed a hand over his chest and went up, bracing himself against the wall as he went. Higher and higher he climbed, and caught better glimpses of Kingdom Hearts on his way up.

Then- finally... the stairs came to an end.

Riku found himself standing at the top of the castle- a flat, round roof... an observatory. He sank down, eyes filled with the light of the moon and heart quiet, satiated.

His passenger was so content that Riku couldn't help but feel it- embrace it as a respite from the conflict. He hadn't realized he'd been fighting so hard until Ansem's resistance fell away. The foreign heart basked in the light of thousands- millions of its fellows- and was silent.

"Magnificent, isn't it?"

Riku could only nod, still staring.

"Nine long years of toil... at last I can see our plans beginning to come to fruition."

Whose plans? Riku tried to look away and couldn't. The pulse was so soothing- the light was gentle, real. The light of magic and power- things that were real as the Castle and all that which lay inside it was not. He heard footsteps and a figure stood behind him. He knew because the voice was louder- otherwise the speaker gave him an impression of... nothing. There was no warmth, no shadow- it was just... nothing at his back. Then moving around him and forward, to stand at the railing.

He tried to focus- this was important. He was sitting behind the Organization's Superior. He was carrying the Nobody's heart around in his chest, he also had a concussion (he thought he did, anyway) and was fighting a losing battle with sense as he sat in front of Kingdom Hearts. He felt like he'd been drugged. Riku shut his eyes, tilted his head down, and opened them again, just a bit.

"I didn't mean to intrude," he said, choosing his words carefully, "I just-"

"Your heart led you here."

His voice echoed, empty sounds in an empty room, gaining strength as they rebounded. Riku shivered. It wasn't the same voice. This wasn't the same being.

Within and without, Ansem murmured, and began to laugh.

Riku got angry, and focusing on that made it easier to think, easier to ignore Kingdom Hearts and Ansem's insinuating chuckle. He glanced up and the Nobody wasn't looking at him. It helped.

"Yes," Riku murmured, rising to his feet. "I'll just- go now," he started for the exit.

"Riku-"

He sucked in a breath.

"I think we should begin to call you by the name," Xemnas murmured.

He didn't turn around. "I-"

"Or perhaps you would cast it off and choose another more suited to you?"

"I don't... want his name," I don't want any of you to start getting that familiar, and even as he thought it, inside he laughed. "I... want something that belongs to me."

"Very well. I am aware of your incursion into the city. We do not risk the Keyblade when we know just how easily the heart can be torn into pieces."

Xemnas was staring at him when he turned around.

"What?" Riku asked.

The Nobody was smiling.

"I don't have a Key-"

"Upon the death of the Keyblade Master, a Keyblade will choose the most powerful heart to be its next bearer," Xemnas said. "The heart that could defeat the Keyblade Master of Darkness would be powerful indeed. Your physical similarity to him would have made the choice even more obvious. You took his power into yourself when you killed him-"

Riku heard himself agreeing. His heart beat erratically, too fast. They still believed that he was the Replica- with all of this... no... they couldn't. Riku couldn't believe that anymore. He was never this lucky. Xemnas knew. He knew, and he was pretending not to know.

What did he want?

"I can fight," Riku said, mouth dry. "As long as I'm not alone- as long as there's someone to make me a portal back here-"

"You will train, strengthen your heart and your powers. When you've grown stronger, you will join one of the others on a mission."

"But if I really have a Keyblade," he spoke slowly, as if he didn't completely believe it, "I can destroy Heartless- get more hearts for-"

"In time."

He didn't argue with that tone- there was no arguing with it. The expectation in it- the confident surety that it would be obeyed, stopped him. Riku's mouth shut with a click, then his jaw clenched.

Xemnas chuckled, and Riku only kept from shuddering until the Nobody turned around. Their voices weren't the same- their laugher was. Bone-deep and caressing. Riku had heard it often of late.

"You are very much like Roxas. Impulsive, quick to fight. You feel an urge to test the limits of your abilities." Xemnas stared up at Kingdom Hearts. "There is a lack of discipline in him, and you, that would perhaps have been repaired, were you not so young, had he retained the memories of his Other's life."

He simultaneously wanted to move closer and back away slowly with Xemnas still in his sights. Riku hadn't been dismissed yet, so he stayed.

"You might speak with him," Xemnas murmured. "You have no past, and he has lost his," he paused. "Perhaps you'll find it comforting."

He bit back a comment about Xemnas having no right to say that and wondered if this was an order.

"Okay," Riku murmured.

Xemnas didn't say anything, didn't nod. Riku stood there for another minute- backed away slowly when nothing happened. When he got downstairs- and wound up in the Proof of Existence- his head ached worse than before.

***

Considering the way his day- loosely speaking of course, it was always night here- had gone, Riku wasn't all that surprised when he walked into his room and found Roxas leaning against his bed.

He was tired, and his head ached, and he had to wonder by this point... what was the point?

"This day is never going to end," he muttered, walking over to the wardrobe. Riku opened the doors, shifted a few piles of nondescript shirts from side to side- lifted a few pairs of black pants. He plunged his hands into piles of fabric and touched something silky- something too large to be underwear. Pulling it out, he found Demyx had been right after all. Pajamas.

"You wanna explain this?" Roxas said behind him. Riku straightened, twitched at the familiar humming that was a Keyblade being drawn. More than that- it was the Keyblade he'd used during their fight that morning. He looked over his shoulder, found Roxas staring at the blade in his hands. "I've never had this before..." the Nobody said. "I had the silver disk-thing to start with, and a few weeks after joining the Organization, I got the shell-star. This is new. It showed up when you did."

Riku walked over, stood beside Roxas. He dropped the pajamas to the bed and started to get undressed.

"How do you explain that?" Roxas asked.

"I can't," Riku said matter-of-factly.

"You can't, or you won't?"

"I can't," Riku said again. "I don't know how Keychains work, and I can't remember anything that would help me figure it out." They were Sora's Keychains. Riku had only ever had one- a little Heartless crest that dangled from the Souleater's hilt. He blinked suddenly- maybe that had given him away. Damnit. He'd never considered that- had taken the chain for granted. Roxas waited until his shirt had been tossed to the floor and Riku was in the process of slipping on the button-up pajama top.

The Keyblade's teeth lay beneath his chin.

"What part of their plan are you?" Roxas murmured.

The look in Roxas' eyes- as if he could pull the blade swiftly across Riku's throat and not bat an eye, chilled him. He could just see another pair of blue eyes, so filled with emotion that you had to look away- before it spilled over into you. Riku dropped his gaze, unwilling to look and see the emptiness in Roxas'.

"They haven't told me," he said. One arm, then the other, then the buttons, all while keeping his head as still as possible. The Keyblade didn't tilt, didn't bleed him. He didn't deny that there was a plan- there had to be. After everything he'd gone through, all the different messages and subtle suggestions he'd heard, he knew something was going on.

He had no clue what it was.

Riku put two fingers on the Keyblade and pushed down, and Roxas let him. He dropped his trousers.

"What- are you doing?"

Riku blinked. What was he doing? He was changing clothes, standing right beside Roxas, a Nobody holding a bared weapon and in fact, threatening him with it. He... knew Roxas wasn't actually going to do anything. He felt comfortable enough to disrobe and assume that the Nobody wouldn't take things the wrong way or take advantage. It was... a really stupid thing for him to be doing.

"I'm getting ready for bed," he said blandly, accepting the proximity and the feeling of calm it brought. Roxas stared, and there still wasn't an expression to give Riku clues on what he thought. He toed off his socks and sat down to put on the pants. Roxas continued staring.

Eventually he seemed to decide he wasn't going to use the Keyblade, and it disappeared. Riku looked at him and waited. He looked Roxas in the eyes and it occurred to him that they weren't quite the same. Roxas had something. Where the other Nobodies were dead beneath the 'seeming' of emotion in their eyes, for Roxas it was like a shell. There was blank nothing- but it was like the glass jar around liquid, or the cube around ether. Maybe, just maybe, if you could hold it- break through the outer casing- you could touch whatever it was inside.

"They say you're the Replica of a Keyblade Master that Vexen made," Roxas said. His eyes narrowed, as if he didn't like the slide of the words across his tongue. "You don't have anything before Castle Oblivion. They told me not to ask you about it- that thinking about Vexen and everything that happened will upset you, since you have a heart." The last was tacked on, an afterthought. Something Roxas, by his tone, did not understand.

"What do you think about that?" Riku asked him.

He stepped forward, pressed his legs against Riku's knees and leaned down, bringing their faces close together.

"I think it's bullshit," Roxas said through gritted teeth. "I think you aren't a replica of anything, because I get close to you and I'm different. I see things I've never looked at, and there's something in me that isn't normal- I-"

"You feel?" Riku asked.

Roxas had Kairi's charm. It belonged to Sora, but Roxas had it. Sora, who was connected with Roxas, had met Naminé, who was connected with Kairi. He had the other- the black blade- that had appeared when he'd met Riku. Sora was connected to Riku and Kairi, and Roxas was connected to Sora. Sora was the link and Roxas felt Riku through it. Riku had a moment to wonder if Naminé felt things through Kairi and then Roxas was on him.

The kiss was just as sloppy and impatient as last time.

It felt strange and overwhelming and desperate- gloved hands were buried in his hair, tilting his face up. Riku clutched at Roxas' waist, shifted sideways on the bed so Roxas could kneel on it and still maintain their closeness. He didn't know what he was doing. He'd never done this with Sora. He didn't know why, but this didn't feel familiar, so he knew it had never happened-

Roxas was young. What did he know about how to express love? He was a Nobody without a past. He knew the Organization and that was it. He was a warrior, hadn't grown up playing silly games and make-believe, didn't have the feeling or experience to appreciate a comfortable silence. Was this all he knew? This physical... Riku didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to know if Roxas had knowledge past this or where he'd gotten it. This was a part of someone he loved.

When he thought about it, he felt sick at the thought of what Naminé's existence might have been.

They didn't exactly pull away. Riku needed to breathe, and Roxas still had a grip in his hair.

"What are you doing to me?"

Riku was almost surprised that it wasn't his voice speaking the words. Roxas' hands tightened and he still didn't feel afraid. The clenched jaw and narrowed eyes should have worried him.

"I used to feel like I had somewhere to be- someone to look for," Roxas continued. "It wasn't you. Now it is- do you understand me? I don't feel that other person anymore. You're blocking me."

Riku stared at him mutely, eyes wide.

Roxas nodded once. "That's it." He let go of Riku, sank onto the bed, staring off into the distance.

That was it. That was Axel's reason, and Xemnas' reason, and maybe they wanted another Keyblade, but more than they wanted that- they wanted Roxas. Young and impulsive, called away, but Riku was such a good, obedient distraction.

"Right," Roxas sighed. He got up.

Riku didn't call after him to keep his silence- not to talk to Axel or Xemnas about it- didn't ask for his help. He didn't know why. All his brain offered as the blond walked away was- "See ya' tomorrow."

"Not if I see you coming."

Riku choked on a breath. He knew- knew he'd heard that exchange before- in reverse, but he'd never said it to Roxas. The Nobody took one more step and drew up short, turning his head slowly. He raised a hand to his lips, as if the words still lingered there and he could touch them- hold and examine them.

"You make me remember..." he whispered. Then Darkness unfolded from the ground and took him away.

Riku put his hands on his face and groaned into them, fell backwards and let the bed catch him.

He smelled Darkness and ash, groaned again. "What the fuck do you want?"

"You did good," Axel said. The bed dipped beneath his weight.

"Fuck off," Riku muttered.

"You didn't tell him about Castle Oblivion, but you talked to him."

"He's not stupid, Axel."

Axel tucked himself against Riku's side, throwing a leg over both of his. Riku thought about fighting him and decided not to, dropping his hands to the bed.

"Yeah," Axel said, "we don't have it that easy."

"I can't stop him from looking- I'm not that interesting."

"Don't sell yourself short. But you don't need to be interesting," Axel murmured into Riku's ear. "Roxas isn't a tracker. He'll never find Sora without that call."

"If he can get back his heart-"

"If he can get back his heart, the rest of us are screwed," the Nobody hissed. Fingers like sticks bit into his throat, constricting, but not cutting off all air. "We lose the one Keyblade Master who's actually got some stock in our cause. That's why everyone lies to him- that's why we're not worried about Sora as long as he stays far, far away and Roxas can't find him. That's why you're not going anywhere."

Then the Souleater was in his hand and beneath Axel's chin for the second time in less than a day. "Back off, right now."

The hand on his throat went slack, just resting there, stroked against his skin before slipping away. Otherwise, Axel stayed where he was.

Riku turned his head. The Souleater's Keychain clinked softly as he tightened his grip. They stared at each other, and Axel smirked.

"There's only one door out of this world. None of us are going to give you one, and you aren't strong enough to open it by yourself."

Riku stared at him. "I wonder if I could kill you right now and claim it was self-defense."

"I wonder if we could get Kairi to pull that Heartless-to-human trick again."

Riku flinched, pressed the blade harder. A line of black ichor seeped from beneath it.

"Tie you down- sic the Heartless on you and see if you'd make a Nobody. Then we could see if the little Princess would be able to call your heart back- from whatever Heartless you'd become."

A Heartless like Ansem.

The part of his mind that murmured 'oh that's how Sora came back' fell away beneath the surge of denial that Kairi would ever have to face that kind of horror.

Axel pressed closer, cupping the back of Riku's head to pull him in. Riku still held the blade, but he'd forgotten what it was for.

"We wouldn't need Roxas anymore." Axel laughed as he pulled away, sat on the side of the bed.

Riku tried to collect himself, force down the waves of panic and relax. It... wasn't likely to happen with Axel sitting there.

"What do you want?" he asked, letting his voice be harsh rather than shaky.

"I gave you a nice little knock on the head, Riku. You might have a concussion. I need to wake you up every hour or you could die."

That... wasn't funny at all. Axel was still grinning, but made no move to exit the room- offered no other words. He... wasn't joking.

"You asshole."

Axel nodded his agreement of that assessment.

"Why don't you just give me a fucking potion?"

"Under the circumstances, I don't think we should have sex," Axel said in a deadpan voice, "and I'm doing it because this way is more fun."

Glaring, pissed off and muttering to himself, Riku climbed under the covers, still holding the Souleater, laid his head gingerly on the pillow and closed his eyes.

"Would you like a glass of warm milk?"

"If you're not going to leave, you could at least shut up," Riku growled.

"But you look so cute snuggling your Keyblade like a teddy bear. I could sing you a lullaby."

Riku buried his head in his pillow and tried to block out Axel's voice.

***

"Kairi?"

She turned to look over her shoulder, shifted to face him fully- grunted a little when Riku grabbed her close. "Riku- wh-" then her voice went serious. "What's wrong?"

He hugged her. "I screwed up. I screwed up and now you're in danger." She tried to lean back, to look at him. Riku wouldn't let her that far away from his embrace.

"Riku," and her tone was exasperated, of all things. "Riku- what happened?"

"Yes, Riku, tell her what happened."

Kairi gaped and Riku whirled, drawing the Keyblade and clutching Kairi's arm to keep her behind him.

Ansem stood there, clothed as he always had been- gloved arms confidently folded over his chest.

Riku hadn't noticed that the sky above the island was dark. Ansem had followed him. Followed him from his heart to Kairi's. He'd screwed up twice in less than an hour. Axel knew Kairi could be used against him and now Ansem was inside her heart. It couldn't get worse.

"This is all your fault!" Kairi shouted, pushing past him.

Okay. He was wrong.

Riku tried to grab her arm and closed his hand around something else- something he couldn't see.

"Is that what you think?" Ansem sounded amused, as he had whenever Riku protested an action the Heartless had taken while possessing his body.

"Kairi," Riku tried snatching her back with words when he realized he couldn't reach her.

"It's what I know," Kairi answered.

She looked so small in front of him, and then she... the red of her hair and the white of her shirt seemed to... shine. He thought it was a trick of the light- but it was nighttime now, and then Kairi grew brighter and she was light.

Ansem had begun to squint, Riku saw his smile disappear-

"Riku," Axel shook him again.

He blinked, stared in horror at the Nobody, clutched at his arm. Riku almost cursed him, swallowed the cry that he needed to go back to sleep- needed to get back to that beach. Axel was staring at his face with far too much interest.

Riku turned on his side, closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing, sinking into his Darkness.

Ansem wasn't there.

His body slowed with his consciousness absent, and perhaps Axel thought him asleep some time later when he began murmuring-

"What's it worth, Riku? Sora's asleep, might as well be dead for all the response you get from him. Roxas is awake, and he's here. You can touch him, talk to him. We'll never condemn you for being Dark- not like the rest of the worlds. They shun us all the same. Just stick around-"

Mentally, Riku blinked. What was Axel trying for- subliminal messages? Did Axel think the words could work better while he slept? Did he think... Riku didn't give a shit what Axel thought- he had to get back to Kairi.

Then- Riku winced, grunted softly as something returned, following the line of his existence back from where it had gone- Ansem's heart fell into his Darkness, huddling in on itself, small and pained.

Riku let that thought calm him- if Ansem was here, he wasn't with Kairi, and he drifted to sleep that much quicker.

Kairi was waiting for him, checking his arms, hands, patting him gently all over.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," Riku said, putting his hands on her shoulders and holding her at an arm's length, "are you hurt?"

"I scared him off- I didn't think it might hurt you until after," she said miserably.

Riku stared at her. She'd scared him off. Kairi. Had sent Ansem running. He grinned hard enough to hurt his cheeks. "I'm better than fine."

She giggled softly, hugged him.

"How did you do it?"

"A friend told me once that a dream is a wish. I thought, maybe- just maybe- you could get your wish in a dream. I wished for him to stop threatening you."

Riku's amusement dimmed at that. The wish of a Princess of Heart, made inside her heart, would be powerful, and if it were powerful enough.... Ansem didn't threaten him with words alone. Riku didn't want to use Ansem's power, but he'd known the option was there- it was a threat. Threatened his control over his own body- threatened his heart with the possibility of falling into Darkness. If Kairi had rendered Ansem incapable of being a threat. Well...

"Riku?"

"You should try and make that kind of thing happen in the real world," he murmured.

"I'll try. I don't always remember my dreams, but I'll try."

"Try to remember this too-" he stepped back and looked into her eyes. "If you meet anyone in a black coat who says they know me, or an old friend you can't remember, run. Be careful, and be smart, and do everything you can to get away from them."

She nodded. "I will. Promise."

"Riku."

He woke again to Axel shaking him.

It was going to be a long night.

***

Part Five