Cheated (Fullmetal Alchemist, ensemble, PG-13)
Title -- Cheated
Author-- cornerofmadness
Fandom -- Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer -- Arakawa owns them.
Rating -- PG-13
Characters/Pairing -- Ed, Winry, Al, Lan Fan & Ling, hints of Ed/Winry
Timeline/Spoilers -- post 108, no spoilers unless you don’t know who survives
Word Count -- 1,357
Warning -- a few swear words; well it is Ed. Some non-sexual nudity
Summary -- He knew he was being cheated, but he’d be damned if he could prove it.
Author’s Note -- written for springkink spring 2012 for the prompt: Fullmetal Alchemist; Ed+/Winry+/Ling+/Ran Fan+/Al; Stripping; Ed knew the girls were cheating at strip poker. Thanks to gaia_lulia for the beta.
XXX
They were cheating. They had to be, but damned if he could catch them at it. No one was this lucky. He hadn’t even realized Winry could play poker so well - Damn Granny and her influence - and did they even have poker in Xing? Judging by the fact the only stitch of anything Ling had on was his ponytail holder, a necklace and a pair of red silk underwear that Ed refused to directly look at, then no, they didn’t.
Al seemed oddly at peace with the fact that he only had on socks and his boxers. And what was up with his choices? Who picked taking off his pants before his socks? His brother was getting more like Colonel Bastard every day. How did that even happen?
Ed couldn’t lose another hand. All he had left between his privates and the world was one pair of boxers with a hole in them - how was he to know someone would decide teaching the Xingese strip poker was a good idea? He thought it was going to be nothing but boring diplomacy on this trip east. How was he to know people would be seeing his underpants?
How were the girls cheating? Winry had only lost two socks so far, and only because the vote went against earrings counting as a strippable item. She should at least be down to her bra. It wasn’t fair. He wanted to see those perfect globes of flesh captured only by thin cotton. Ugh, no, don’t think about it. You’re practically nude. It’ll be bad. Ed was all too aware that his own nipples were hard and erect, but that was because the room was cool and not because he was aroused. Or so he told himself.
Ed glanced over at Lan Fan. At least she had lost her tunic, revealing the binding she wore over her barely-there breasts. It wasn’t much better than looking at Ling except for the fact he could now see the dragon embossed on the shoulder plate of her automail. That was damn cool. He wondered if he could talk Winry into stamping the metal of his leg with something bad assed like that or getting Al to transmute it. No, Al knew Winry might kill. Better enlist Colonel Shit for that.
“Three of a kind.” Winry laid out her cards. Damn it, she had to be cheating.
“Two pair,” Lan Fan said, putting out sevens and jacks.
“Two pair here, too.” Ed tossed down fives and eights.
“Better than me. I only have ace high.” Al sighed. “Ling?”
“Did good.” Ling laid out a five, six, seven and eight.
“That’s only four cards, Ling. Let’s see that last one,” Winry said.
“Trust me. It’s a straight,” the prince protested.
“No one trusts you. Put the card on the table,” Ed said.
“You wound me.” Ling tossed the card on the table. It was a two.
“Take it off, Ling!” Winry demanded way too boisterously for Ed’s liking.
“Yes, my prince.” Lan Fan’s dark eyes glinted.
“Fine.” Ling started to take off his necklace.
“No way!” Winry stabbed a finger at him. “I wasn’t allowed my earrings.”
“Necklaces are different. I demand a vote,” Ling protested.
After the three to two vote in his favor, Ling tossed the necklace on the pile of his clothes.
“We need another girl next time,” Winry said. “Mei should have come.”
“Then it would always end in a tie and no one would end up naked,” Al pointed out, sounding disappointed with that idea. “Your deal, Brother.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Ed tried to remember what Mustang had said about cheating. He had to win this hand. If he couldn’t get Winry out of some of her clothes then at least he could put Ling down for the count, ending the game with a shred of his dignity left.
Ed tried not to grin, dealing. He had remembered enough about how to cheat to deal himself three of a kind. Al’s brow knit slightly. Oops. He wasn’t trying to get his brother, but Al still had socks yet, so it wouldn’t be too bad. He tossed away his two garbage cards, and then dealt out the draw cards for the others.
“Three of kind and I damn well better be safe.” Ed slapped his cards down.
“You dealt me crap, brother.” Al tossed down ten high.
“Sorry, Al. Maybe Winry will do worse,” Ed said.
“So hopeful, Ed, but I think I’ll be keeping my shirt on.” She laid down two pair.
“Alphonse might have to lose something.” Lan Fan smiled, laying down a measly pair of fours.
“Definitely.” Ling tapped his pair of sixes.
Al shrugged and took off a sock. Ed let out a pent up breath. He had half-feared Al would take off his boxers first, and he wasn’t ready for what that said about his brother.
“My deal,” Winry said gleefully.
Ed pushed the deck to her. “No cheating.”
She touched her chest. “You think I’m cheating?”
“He’s so suspicious,” Lan Fan said. Apparently the sight of bare-chested men made her chattier than normal.
“He’s always been like that,” Winry replied.
“Me, Al and Ling are nearly naked and you two have all your clothes on. You’re cheating.”
“We’re lucky.” Winry smirked, shuffling the cards.
“You’re cheating,” Ed insisted.
“Prove it.”
“If I could prove it, I wouldn’t have a breeze blowing in the flap of my boxers,” he grumbled.
“On that wonderful image, please deal, Winry.” Al rolled his eyes.
“Gladly.”
Ed tried hard not to grin as his hand slowly formed, four hearts and a diamond. Not a pair in sight but the diamond was at least an ace. Well, shit. Did he keep the ace high? Anything could beat it, or did he go with the flush and pray to a god he didn’t believe in? No way he’d stay clothed with an Ace high. He needed to live risky. He needed the flush. Ed tossed out one card and Winry’s eyebrows rose as she dealt him a replacement.
Ed couldn’t look at it until everyone else got their draw cards. He turned up a king of clubs and mouthed ‘fuck.’ Could he get his boxers down without pulling back from the table and what little shielding it offered?
Winry put down a pair of sevens. “If I were cheating, Ed, I’d do better than that.”
“You did that to make me think you’re not cheating. It’s not like you don’t have a ton of clothing to take off,” Ed retorted and she wrinkled her nose at him.
“I’m probably safe. Winry likes me more than you, Ed.” Al put down two pair.
“Three of a kind.” Lan Fan smiled.
“Well, I suppose it’s sort of fitting that I go out with the king high.” Ling sighed, putting his cards down.
“And you, Edward?” Winry said in a syrupy tone.
Ed tossed the cards down. “Busted flush. King high. So which card is next highest, Ling?”
“I say you both lose. Let’s see some skin.” Winry rapped her knuckles on the table.
“Oh hell no. I think I beat Ling.” Ed stabbed a finger at the prince.
“This calls for a vote,” Winry replied. “Who thinks Ed and Ling are co-losers and need to strip?”
Ed kicked his brother’s ankle when Al sided with the women. Al yelped, nearly flashing people via his boxer flap as he rubbed the offended joint. Ed leaned over and whispered an idea to Ling who nodded.
“Fine, we’re losers.” He and Ling got up, backs to their friends.
“On three,” Ling said and their companions gleefully chorused the countdown.
“One, two, three!”
Ed and Ling whipped their underwear down, whirling to face them head on. They struck a pose. He might have been swindled out of his clothing, but Ed was going to wear his loss with style. The whooping laughter, especially after all they had been through, was worth it. Well until the camera snapped. His brother was going to die.
Once Lan Fan pried Ed and Ling off of Al, Winry grinned. “So, who’s up for another round?”
Author-- cornerofmadness
Fandom -- Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer -- Arakawa owns them.
Rating -- PG-13
Characters/Pairing -- Ed, Winry, Al, Lan Fan & Ling, hints of Ed/Winry
Timeline/Spoilers -- post 108, no spoilers unless you don’t know who survives
Word Count -- 1,357
Warning -- a few swear words; well it is Ed. Some non-sexual nudity
Summary -- He knew he was being cheated, but he’d be damned if he could prove it.
Author’s Note -- written for springkink spring 2012 for the prompt: Fullmetal Alchemist; Ed+/Winry+/Ling+/Ran Fan+/Al; Stripping; Ed knew the girls were cheating at strip poker. Thanks to gaia_lulia for the beta.
XXX
They were cheating. They had to be, but damned if he could catch them at it. No one was this lucky. He hadn’t even realized Winry could play poker so well - Damn Granny and her influence - and did they even have poker in Xing? Judging by the fact the only stitch of anything Ling had on was his ponytail holder, a necklace and a pair of red silk underwear that Ed refused to directly look at, then no, they didn’t.
Al seemed oddly at peace with the fact that he only had on socks and his boxers. And what was up with his choices? Who picked taking off his pants before his socks? His brother was getting more like Colonel Bastard every day. How did that even happen?
Ed couldn’t lose another hand. All he had left between his privates and the world was one pair of boxers with a hole in them - how was he to know someone would decide teaching the Xingese strip poker was a good idea? He thought it was going to be nothing but boring diplomacy on this trip east. How was he to know people would be seeing his underpants?
How were the girls cheating? Winry had only lost two socks so far, and only because the vote went against earrings counting as a strippable item. She should at least be down to her bra. It wasn’t fair. He wanted to see those perfect globes of flesh captured only by thin cotton. Ugh, no, don’t think about it. You’re practically nude. It’ll be bad. Ed was all too aware that his own nipples were hard and erect, but that was because the room was cool and not because he was aroused. Or so he told himself.
Ed glanced over at Lan Fan. At least she had lost her tunic, revealing the binding she wore over her barely-there breasts. It wasn’t much better than looking at Ling except for the fact he could now see the dragon embossed on the shoulder plate of her automail. That was damn cool. He wondered if he could talk Winry into stamping the metal of his leg with something bad assed like that or getting Al to transmute it. No, Al knew Winry might kill. Better enlist Colonel Shit for that.
“Three of a kind.” Winry laid out her cards. Damn it, she had to be cheating.
“Two pair,” Lan Fan said, putting out sevens and jacks.
“Two pair here, too.” Ed tossed down fives and eights.
“Better than me. I only have ace high.” Al sighed. “Ling?”
“Did good.” Ling laid out a five, six, seven and eight.
“That’s only four cards, Ling. Let’s see that last one,” Winry said.
“Trust me. It’s a straight,” the prince protested.
“No one trusts you. Put the card on the table,” Ed said.
“You wound me.” Ling tossed the card on the table. It was a two.
“Take it off, Ling!” Winry demanded way too boisterously for Ed’s liking.
“Yes, my prince.” Lan Fan’s dark eyes glinted.
“Fine.” Ling started to take off his necklace.
“No way!” Winry stabbed a finger at him. “I wasn’t allowed my earrings.”
“Necklaces are different. I demand a vote,” Ling protested.
After the three to two vote in his favor, Ling tossed the necklace on the pile of his clothes.
“We need another girl next time,” Winry said. “Mei should have come.”
“Then it would always end in a tie and no one would end up naked,” Al pointed out, sounding disappointed with that idea. “Your deal, Brother.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Ed tried to remember what Mustang had said about cheating. He had to win this hand. If he couldn’t get Winry out of some of her clothes then at least he could put Ling down for the count, ending the game with a shred of his dignity left.
Ed tried not to grin, dealing. He had remembered enough about how to cheat to deal himself three of a kind. Al’s brow knit slightly. Oops. He wasn’t trying to get his brother, but Al still had socks yet, so it wouldn’t be too bad. He tossed away his two garbage cards, and then dealt out the draw cards for the others.
“Three of kind and I damn well better be safe.” Ed slapped his cards down.
“You dealt me crap, brother.” Al tossed down ten high.
“Sorry, Al. Maybe Winry will do worse,” Ed said.
“So hopeful, Ed, but I think I’ll be keeping my shirt on.” She laid down two pair.
“Alphonse might have to lose something.” Lan Fan smiled, laying down a measly pair of fours.
“Definitely.” Ling tapped his pair of sixes.
Al shrugged and took off a sock. Ed let out a pent up breath. He had half-feared Al would take off his boxers first, and he wasn’t ready for what that said about his brother.
“My deal,” Winry said gleefully.
Ed pushed the deck to her. “No cheating.”
She touched her chest. “You think I’m cheating?”
“He’s so suspicious,” Lan Fan said. Apparently the sight of bare-chested men made her chattier than normal.
“He’s always been like that,” Winry replied.
“Me, Al and Ling are nearly naked and you two have all your clothes on. You’re cheating.”
“We’re lucky.” Winry smirked, shuffling the cards.
“You’re cheating,” Ed insisted.
“Prove it.”
“If I could prove it, I wouldn’t have a breeze blowing in the flap of my boxers,” he grumbled.
“On that wonderful image, please deal, Winry.” Al rolled his eyes.
“Gladly.”
Ed tried hard not to grin as his hand slowly formed, four hearts and a diamond. Not a pair in sight but the diamond was at least an ace. Well, shit. Did he keep the ace high? Anything could beat it, or did he go with the flush and pray to a god he didn’t believe in? No way he’d stay clothed with an Ace high. He needed to live risky. He needed the flush. Ed tossed out one card and Winry’s eyebrows rose as she dealt him a replacement.
Ed couldn’t look at it until everyone else got their draw cards. He turned up a king of clubs and mouthed ‘fuck.’ Could he get his boxers down without pulling back from the table and what little shielding it offered?
Winry put down a pair of sevens. “If I were cheating, Ed, I’d do better than that.”
“You did that to make me think you’re not cheating. It’s not like you don’t have a ton of clothing to take off,” Ed retorted and she wrinkled her nose at him.
“I’m probably safe. Winry likes me more than you, Ed.” Al put down two pair.
“Three of a kind.” Lan Fan smiled.
“Well, I suppose it’s sort of fitting that I go out with the king high.” Ling sighed, putting his cards down.
“And you, Edward?” Winry said in a syrupy tone.
Ed tossed the cards down. “Busted flush. King high. So which card is next highest, Ling?”
“I say you both lose. Let’s see some skin.” Winry rapped her knuckles on the table.
“Oh hell no. I think I beat Ling.” Ed stabbed a finger at the prince.
“This calls for a vote,” Winry replied. “Who thinks Ed and Ling are co-losers and need to strip?”
Ed kicked his brother’s ankle when Al sided with the women. Al yelped, nearly flashing people via his boxer flap as he rubbed the offended joint. Ed leaned over and whispered an idea to Ling who nodded.
“Fine, we’re losers.” He and Ling got up, backs to their friends.
“On three,” Ling said and their companions gleefully chorused the countdown.
“One, two, three!”
Ed and Ling whipped their underwear down, whirling to face them head on. They struck a pose. He might have been swindled out of his clothing, but Ed was going to wear his loss with style. The whooping laughter, especially after all they had been through, was worth it. Well until the camera snapped. His brother was going to die.
Once Lan Fan pried Ed and Ling off of Al, Winry grinned. “So, who’s up for another round?”