"Talk Like That" (Final Fantasy VI, Edgar/Setzer, PG13)
Title: Talk Like That
Author: tinamachina
Rating: PG13
Warning: For innuendo
Word Count: 703
Summary: Edgar does not need cheap pick-up lines. He can talk the ladies into bed without them, and he proves it to Setzer.
A/N: Meant for May 4th, sorry for the delay. Based on this prompt: Final Fantasy VI, Setzer/Edgar: voice - never put two sweet talkers in a room together
“You’ve never used a pick up line?” Setzer was incredulous. “Never?”
Edgar chuckled, taking a sip of his bourbon. “Do you really think a gentleman like me needs cheap come-ons?”
“Oh, so you think pick-up lines are only for commoners like me?” Setzer took a swig of his own brandy.
“Believe me, my friend,” Edgar smirked. “Nothing of yours can ever be described as ‘cheap’.”
Setzer chuckled. “But seriously,” he asked with a little more earnest. “You have never, not even once, tried a clever line on a young lady? Just to loosen the mood, and maybe the bodice strings, you wouldn’t say, ‘My dear lady, would you like a private viewing of the crown jewels?’”
“No!” Edgar scoffed.
“Or perhaps offer to let her handle the orb and scepter?” Setzer wriggled his eyebrows.
“NO!” Edgar exclaimed, coughing on his drink from laughing. “That is absolutely vulgar!”
Setzer laughed. “OK, you’re right, that is vulgar, and I’m sure you could probably come up with better. But imagine this, if you will.” Setzer set down his drink. “Into your castle walks this beautiful, timid, trembling, young maiden. She’s new to court. Her cheeks are flushed. She’s nervously biting her plump bottom lip. Her chest is quivering beneath the bodice of her new gown…”
“I’m listening,” Edgar took a slow sip of his bourbon.
“What would you say to ease the anxieties of this delicate, delicious little lady?”
“I’d assure her,” Edgar said smoothly, “that she is safe and welcome here, and no harm shall come to her…”
“Oh, for goddesses’ sake, Edgar!” Setzer interrupted. “She’s not trembling because she thinks she’ll be locked up for wearing the wrong shoes! She’s shaking at the thought of what is underneath that regalia of yours! She’s been made weak at the knee by the rumors of the king’s extraordinary equipment, and not the kind in the engine room…”
“Setzer!” Edgar looked too flattered with the innuendo to admonish the gambler.
“Come on, Highness,” Setzer said, without apology. “You’ve got a pocket full of aces. You’re a hot, young king with a carefully skilled tongue. Show me you’re as good with your tongue as with your hands!”
Blushing, but with a labial smile, the king quickly accepted the challenge with a big gulp of his drink. “Allow me to rephrase. What I meant to say was,” Edgar took Setzer’s hand, as if addressing the imaginary maiden, “My dear, you are in the best of hands here. These walls are strong, and we can…hold you here, safe and warm and protected.”
“That’s better,” Setzer seemed to melt a little, “Continue.”
“My hands may seem roughened by the sands,” Edgar took Setzer’s hand to his lips, “but they are surprisingly smooth and are most skilled at taking care of the most delicate things.” Edgar smiled and his voice became deep and husky. “My hands have worked on both large, heavy equipment and smaller, more sensitive hotspots. They are strong and can hold on for hours. My hands will work all night long, over every nook and cranny, but will not quit until I am satisfied, until you are fully satisfied.”
“More, your majesty,” Setzer looked like he was about to swoon. He played the maiden role to the hilt.
“And at night, I’ll let you in on a little secret, something few others know,” Edgar whispered into Setzer’s ear in a seductive growl, “this castle goes underground. Yes, my dear, on my command, we dive deep. We dive deeper than you can ever imagine. You’ll feel every part of you shake as we slowly drill deep, deep down…”
Suddenly, Setzer seized Edgar’s mouth with his own, thrusting the king back against the bar. Edgar muffled a gasp of surprise, but he did not push Setzer away.
“Congratulations, Your Majesty,” Setzer broke their kiss, as Edgar’s tongue slipped out of his mouth. “You’ve just talked your maiden into bed.”
Edgar laughed, “See, this is why I don’t use pick-up lines. Pick-up lines are for quickies,” Edgar kissed Setzer again, wrapping his arms around him. “I prefer long bedtime stories, something to keep me entertained all night long.” And with that, Edgar led Setzer to finish their bedtime story in his chambers.
Author: tinamachina
Rating: PG13
Warning: For innuendo
Word Count: 703
Summary: Edgar does not need cheap pick-up lines. He can talk the ladies into bed without them, and he proves it to Setzer.
A/N: Meant for May 4th, sorry for the delay. Based on this prompt: Final Fantasy VI, Setzer/Edgar: voice - never put two sweet talkers in a room together
“You’ve never used a pick up line?” Setzer was incredulous. “Never?”
Edgar chuckled, taking a sip of his bourbon. “Do you really think a gentleman like me needs cheap come-ons?”
“Oh, so you think pick-up lines are only for commoners like me?” Setzer took a swig of his own brandy.
“Believe me, my friend,” Edgar smirked. “Nothing of yours can ever be described as ‘cheap’.”
Setzer chuckled. “But seriously,” he asked with a little more earnest. “You have never, not even once, tried a clever line on a young lady? Just to loosen the mood, and maybe the bodice strings, you wouldn’t say, ‘My dear lady, would you like a private viewing of the crown jewels?’”
“No!” Edgar scoffed.
“Or perhaps offer to let her handle the orb and scepter?” Setzer wriggled his eyebrows.
“NO!” Edgar exclaimed, coughing on his drink from laughing. “That is absolutely vulgar!”
Setzer laughed. “OK, you’re right, that is vulgar, and I’m sure you could probably come up with better. But imagine this, if you will.” Setzer set down his drink. “Into your castle walks this beautiful, timid, trembling, young maiden. She’s new to court. Her cheeks are flushed. She’s nervously biting her plump bottom lip. Her chest is quivering beneath the bodice of her new gown…”
“I’m listening,” Edgar took a slow sip of his bourbon.
“What would you say to ease the anxieties of this delicate, delicious little lady?”
“I’d assure her,” Edgar said smoothly, “that she is safe and welcome here, and no harm shall come to her…”
“Oh, for goddesses’ sake, Edgar!” Setzer interrupted. “She’s not trembling because she thinks she’ll be locked up for wearing the wrong shoes! She’s shaking at the thought of what is underneath that regalia of yours! She’s been made weak at the knee by the rumors of the king’s extraordinary equipment, and not the kind in the engine room…”
“Setzer!” Edgar looked too flattered with the innuendo to admonish the gambler.
“Come on, Highness,” Setzer said, without apology. “You’ve got a pocket full of aces. You’re a hot, young king with a carefully skilled tongue. Show me you’re as good with your tongue as with your hands!”
Blushing, but with a labial smile, the king quickly accepted the challenge with a big gulp of his drink. “Allow me to rephrase. What I meant to say was,” Edgar took Setzer’s hand, as if addressing the imaginary maiden, “My dear, you are in the best of hands here. These walls are strong, and we can…hold you here, safe and warm and protected.”
“That’s better,” Setzer seemed to melt a little, “Continue.”
“My hands may seem roughened by the sands,” Edgar took Setzer’s hand to his lips, “but they are surprisingly smooth and are most skilled at taking care of the most delicate things.” Edgar smiled and his voice became deep and husky. “My hands have worked on both large, heavy equipment and smaller, more sensitive hotspots. They are strong and can hold on for hours. My hands will work all night long, over every nook and cranny, but will not quit until I am satisfied, until you are fully satisfied.”
“More, your majesty,” Setzer looked like he was about to swoon. He played the maiden role to the hilt.
“And at night, I’ll let you in on a little secret, something few others know,” Edgar whispered into Setzer’s ear in a seductive growl, “this castle goes underground. Yes, my dear, on my command, we dive deep. We dive deeper than you can ever imagine. You’ll feel every part of you shake as we slowly drill deep, deep down…”
Suddenly, Setzer seized Edgar’s mouth with his own, thrusting the king back against the bar. Edgar muffled a gasp of surprise, but he did not push Setzer away.
“Congratulations, Your Majesty,” Setzer broke their kiss, as Edgar’s tongue slipped out of his mouth. “You’ve just talked your maiden into bed.”
Edgar laughed, “See, this is why I don’t use pick-up lines. Pick-up lines are for quickies,” Edgar kissed Setzer again, wrapping his arms around him. “I prefer long bedtime stories, something to keep me entertained all night long.” And with that, Edgar led Setzer to finish their bedtime story in his chambers.