All That’s Left (Subaru+Kamui, X/1999, PG)
Author: transient_words
Word Count: 492
Prompt: X/1999, Subaru/Kamui: temptation - It would be so easy to lose himself in those eyes and everything they offered.
Warning(s): Bad writing, questionable imagery, bracket abuse? And oh yes, not so subtly implied SeiSub. But then this is Subaru we’re talking about - he’s hopeless. Ah yes, self-edited.
A/N: Late, but this wasn’t exactly easy to write. I'll be posting stuff till August probably - I apologise for this, but I don't want to publish anything until I think it's halfway readable.
...
Sometimes when Subaru is with Kamui, he nearly remembers what it’s like to smile. In spite of all the barriers he’s set up around himself, Kamui has found a way to worm himself into his heart.
No, it’s not love - at least, not the kind of love he feels for Seishirou-san. But then, as Subaru takes a draw from his cigarette, he realises one undeniable fact.
He’ll never love anyone like that man: it’s the kind of love that makes you want to give up everything for that one special person. It’s all-consuming - without reason or mercy.
(An ocean that is vast, pulling you into its depths).
And the worst is that it’s timeless - once you’ve lost yourself in that ocean, you’ll remain swimming in it for ever - never able to reach the shore, no matter how much you struggle.
(A never-ending vicious cycle. A ageless dance that’ll have you spinning on your heels - forever.)
He could live to be a thousand years old and, even if everything goes to hell, Subaru will never fall out of love with Seishirou-san. He can’t - and doesn’t want to.
(That name - branded into his heart, body and mind for eternity).
Kamui might make him smile, might even make him - for a moment or two - forget that, long ago, he made a vow to not forget Seishirou-san.
And that - no matter what the cost - he’s made it his mission to lead a life stuck in the past, whispers of regret and longing following his trail like fireflies searching for the yellowish-greenish hue of moonlight.
Maybe, Subaru’s in love misery - a masochist who clings to pain because having his heart ripped into shreds again and again makes him feel good.
Then again, as he smokes the same brand that Seishirou-san is so fond of, Subaru recalls a time when Seishirou’s name wasn’t accompanied by regret or self-loathing.
Because, a long time ago, Subaru was simply a young boy who fell in love with a gentle and sweet-obsessed vet. Once, he wasn’t alone but - with Hokuto and Seishirou-san at his side - his world was complete: a haven of warmth and familiarity.
With Hokuto gone, Seishirou is the only thing of the past that he’s got left: Subaru should hate him, should kill him for what he’s done but the truth is ...
He can’t let go that easily. Because Subaru’s simply a man who’s still desperately in love with the same person he loved as a boy.
Loving Seishirou-san - no matter how painful - makes Subaru feel complete: loving him is real and makes Subaru, no matter how much he wishes to be dead inside, feel alive.
And that’s something that Kamui could never give him. Because, even if Kamui makes him smile the ghost of a smile, he’s just as broken as Subaru is.
Two broken souls can’t heal each other, no matter how tempting the attempt might be.
...
Word Count: 492
Prompt: X/1999, Subaru/Kamui: temptation - It would be so easy to lose himself in those eyes and everything they offered.
Warning(s): Bad writing, questionable imagery, bracket abuse? And oh yes, not so subtly implied SeiSub. But then this is Subaru we’re talking about - he’s hopeless. Ah yes, self-edited.
A/N: Late, but this wasn’t exactly easy to write. I'll be posting stuff till August probably - I apologise for this, but I don't want to publish anything until I think it's halfway readable.
...
Sometimes when Subaru is with Kamui, he nearly remembers what it’s like to smile. In spite of all the barriers he’s set up around himself, Kamui has found a way to worm himself into his heart.
No, it’s not love - at least, not the kind of love he feels for Seishirou-san. But then, as Subaru takes a draw from his cigarette, he realises one undeniable fact.
He’ll never love anyone like that man: it’s the kind of love that makes you want to give up everything for that one special person. It’s all-consuming - without reason or mercy.
(An ocean that is vast, pulling you into its depths).
And the worst is that it’s timeless - once you’ve lost yourself in that ocean, you’ll remain swimming in it for ever - never able to reach the shore, no matter how much you struggle.
(A never-ending vicious cycle. A ageless dance that’ll have you spinning on your heels - forever.)
He could live to be a thousand years old and, even if everything goes to hell, Subaru will never fall out of love with Seishirou-san. He can’t - and doesn’t want to.
(That name - branded into his heart, body and mind for eternity).
Kamui might make him smile, might even make him - for a moment or two - forget that, long ago, he made a vow to not forget Seishirou-san.
And that - no matter what the cost - he’s made it his mission to lead a life stuck in the past, whispers of regret and longing following his trail like fireflies searching for the yellowish-greenish hue of moonlight.
Maybe, Subaru’s in love misery - a masochist who clings to pain because having his heart ripped into shreds again and again makes him feel good.
Then again, as he smokes the same brand that Seishirou-san is so fond of, Subaru recalls a time when Seishirou’s name wasn’t accompanied by regret or self-loathing.
Because, a long time ago, Subaru was simply a young boy who fell in love with a gentle and sweet-obsessed vet. Once, he wasn’t alone but - with Hokuto and Seishirou-san at his side - his world was complete: a haven of warmth and familiarity.
With Hokuto gone, Seishirou is the only thing of the past that he’s got left: Subaru should hate him, should kill him for what he’s done but the truth is ...
He can’t let go that easily. Because Subaru’s simply a man who’s still desperately in love with the same person he loved as a boy.
Loving Seishirou-san - no matter how painful - makes Subaru feel complete: loving him is real and makes Subaru, no matter how much he wishes to be dead inside, feel alive.
And that’s something that Kamui could never give him. Because, even if Kamui makes him smile the ghost of a smile, he’s just as broken as Subaru is.
Two broken souls can’t heal each other, no matter how tempting the attempt might be.
...