What Remains (Haruka + Watanuki, xxxHolic, PG)

[transient_words]

Author: transient_words

Word Count: 1113

Prompt: xxxHolic, Haruka/Watanuki: dreamscapes - neither of us has changed here.

Warning(s): one instance of bracket + ellipsis abuse, a few instances of odd imagery and hints of Doumeki/Watanuki. Some (subtle?) hints of Watanuki/Yuuko. Since this is unbet'd, typos be here.

A/N: Sorry for the lateness! I do have exams and RL

Comments

[foolish_m0rtal]

Oh, WELL done! This really brings up many points I find really intriguing about the bond between Watanuki and Doumeki in the whole scheme of time as well as Haruka's part in all this.

Also brings up some neat comparisons among Watanuki, Yuuko, and Haruka and how they deal with living out of sync with the natural world.

Thoughtful, a nice new perspective, a bit of the tragic hero story in there too- very deft piece of work!

Minor thing: Maybe some of it could be more focused. Like

(...just like a never-ending waltz that has you spinning in circles. You're dizzy and to quit dancing, but can't because the music just won't stop playing).

I was a bit confused by this, and think the piece could be a bit more streamlined without it. But maybe it's just the way it switches perspective to 'you' that is a bit jarring to me. At first I thought it was a song lyric and was even more thoroughly confused.

[transient_words]

Thank you!

Reply is a bit late, as I've been kind of busy and ... not really feeling all that well.

I'll reply to your (extremely helpful) concrit first: I decided to remove the line because it DID seems jarring and unnecessary?

And no, it's not a song lyric but one of those occasional odd metaphors I'm so fond of. I really have a nasty habit of inserting them even when they're absolutely unfitting. So, long story short, I'm happy you pointed out what bothered you.

I'm glad this satisfied you! I did have difficulties writing this, so I'm pleased to hear that it worked for you!

Ah, D: I'm sorry, I didn't really know what else to say in response, other than "Thank you"?

Just know that your comment was much appreciated.