Cold Things Never Catch Fire (Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Dino/Hibari, R)
Title: Cold Things Never Catch Fire (Four Times Hibari Sleeps In Dino's Bed, and One He Doesn't)
Author: zauberer_sirin
Rating: R for non-graphic sex.
Warnings: Hibari is sixteen in this.
Word count: 5380
Summary: Dino really doesn't want to fall into the old trap of fighting equals sex and sex equals fighting.
Prompt: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Dino/Hibari, - fight like sex - taste of blood.
A/N: Huge apologies for the lateness. This one got away from me quite a bit. I'm pretty sure this is not what you wanted from the prompt.
cold things never catch fire
(four times Hibari sleeps in Dino's bed, and one he doesn't)
It has always been about communication.
One of the things Dino liked doing, like a twisted tourist, was standing in front of the subway panels, trying to decipher the ridiculous signs, even though Romario kept telling him that it wasn't necessary, that the car was waiting for him.
Sometimes a cultural divine is not such a bad thing - and Dino likes the idea of just visiting, of being a foreign one, because that way he can learn appreciate the sights.
Dino spoke perfect Japanese and even could handle basic reading and writing (a dog-eared copy of Kanji for foreigners in his suitcase) but there was still a barrier that was more complicated that just language between him and Hibari.
[one]
Like most things it starts on a rainy day, like most things because Dino is a romantic, a romantic in a black-and-white movies sense, the shallow, skin-deep kind of romantic. He will remember the skyline of this particular Sunday afternoon for months afterwards, grey and blue splayed with little dots of orange and white on the clouds, like a minor, now-forgotten pontillistic painting.
It starts because he sees Hibari shivering - not much, but obviously struggling with his own body to conceal the fact from Dino - with Dino standing over him (knee pressed against the chest, his whip immobilizing the boy's hands) and the sky opening above them, rain pouring.
Dino hasn't noticed it, the rain, until he sees the line of Hibari's shoulders tremble a bit. Dino licks his lips and tastes bitter rain. The boy looks small and frail all of the sudden.
`You are going to catch your death like this,´ Dino says, gesturing towards the sky and releasing his grip on Hibari and standing on his feet. `Come on, my flat is only five minutes from here, you can change your clothes and not catch pneumonia perhaps.´
He offers his hand to Hibari, knowing it's in vain, pouting in joke when the boy stands up by himself.
Dino expects him to refuse his offer, of course - that would be like admitting he needs help, that he could ever take a friendly favour from Dino. But he doesn't refuse, he looks up at the clouds between the rooftops - Dino takes it as the signal to start leading, in case Hibari changes his mind in the next split of second.
--
It's a ghost building, state-of-the-art technology and clean and sharp, lush and expensive-rent but quiet, which doesn't suit Dino at all but he does suit his purpose in coming to Japan. One of those very slick apartments with the kitchen and the living room in the same space and huge windows, two-digits floor number. Romario is staying on the floor above him and that gives Dino enough peace of mind to overlook how lonely and impersonal his living room looks, how he's surrounded himself with empty space and steel furniture.
The idea of Hibari in his flat baffles him for a moment, it takes him one second longer to turn the key in the lock. Dino has left shirts on the back of chairs and half-empty coffee cups on the table but Hibari takes no notice of it.
Dino tries very hard to assure himself there's nothing wrong with the situation - but it creeps on him, the thought, the implications, the slight feeling of uneasiness about having a 16-year-old alone in his flat. It makes him feel awkward. He almost trips over himself showing Hibari the way to the bathroom and clean towels.
They stand facing each other for a moment and then Hibari grabs his own shirt, making a questioning gesture.
`Oh yes, sorry, here,´ Dino feels a rush of blood to his cheeks when he hands Hibari a t-shirt but he believes himself too old for blushing.
He also feels suddenly very fatherly towards the boy, having him borrow his clothes.
He tries not to think about that while Hibari showers, the sound of water filling the room. Dino switches the television on - crazy quizzes are on in this time slot, they are colourful, they remind Dino of Italian tv somehow - but he can hear the shower running through it all. He can picture it, Hibari under the hot water - no, scolding hot water, because Dino has the feeling he likes it like that. Warmth quickly spreading through his body. Dino tries not to think about that either.
--
Dino checks his wristwatch now and he figures it's too late for Hibari to go back home now, but he doesn't really believe he'd accept his offer of staying the night.
The boy surprises him for the second time today.
`I'm taking the bed,´ Hibari announces when he comes out of the bathroom. His hair still wet but with all the ends pointing out from drying it with the towel. The towel now around his shoulders. Dino's t-shirt is too big for him and Hibari looks as if he is trying very hard not to appear self-conscious but he is a boy after all so it shows anyway. `The couch is big enough for you.´
Seeing him like this Dino goes back to that earlier worry of implications, propriety and 16-year-olds and the idea pops into his mind (& against his will), that famous Japanese thing of taking a shower before and after sex. Hibari looks fresh, clean, ready.
The boy actually stands in the hallways for a moment, his expression impossible to read but as if he was waiting for Dino to do something - waiting for Dino to come with him? - or say something. Dino clutches the cushion on the back of the couch and stares back at Hibari, blankly, like an idiot. There's a very precise moment of almost expectation when none of them seem to be breathing or rather both of them seem to be holding their breaths. Then, just like that, the moment is gone and Hibari turns his back on him and walks into Dino's bedroom, closing the door behind him, leaving Dino behind.
Finally Dino recovers, he lies there on the couch thinking it's indeed a good thing he decided to buy such a big couch, even if he had no plans to giving up his bed (not like this, anyway). He looks at the ceiling wonders if Romario is still awake up there and what he'd think about all this; he must know Hibari never went home.
Dino thinks about the boy in his bed, and how small he must look in that big bed, all empty. Alone. Something tenses and snaps inside Dino and he doesn't know what it is but he keeps him awake for a long time.
--
Dino likes the idea of leaving things behind so that other people could find them by accident, like little postcards of himself, wish you were heres whispered to no one in particular, just the whole world. Also likes finding traces of other people in random places, that's why he likes hotel rooms and furnished flats - the odd craving for something homely.
Hibari leaves nothing of himself when he leaves the next morning so early it hurts Dino's eyes not because there's too much sunlight but because it's a strange shade of colour, orange and blue and all that terrible silence out in the street.
They have this clumsy conversation where Dino offers to cook some breakfast and Hibari looks at him in a way that Dino is beginning to learn how to read; it surprises him and pleases him, this starting to tell the little details of the boy's face, what others might overlook and what now Dino can translate into something resembling average human emotion. But the translation comes the same, Hibari seems offended by Dino's humble suggestion of coffee and eggs.
Dino sends Romario for the car, so that Hibari can grab his school clothes in time before the classes start. It's Monday and when Hibari walks out of his door Dino imagines it's one of those things that are not bound to happen again. He wonders if he should change the sheets.
[two]
The second time he stays at his flat is actually Hibari's suggestion - if by suggestion one might understand a slight shrug while he drags his feet in the direction of Dino's street.
He brushes two fingers over a new wound on his shoulder, turning his palm as if to show Dino the blood, thick, glistening on his fingertips.
`I don't want to mess up my bathroom cleaning this,´ he offers, a weak excuse.
`But getting my place dirty is all right?´ Dino asks.
`Yes.´
(the training - Dino calls it training, Hibari calls it let's fight - has gone particularly quiet and constructive that afternoon;
Dino has learned how to divert Hibari's frustration at his own limits somewhere else; he twisted his hand behind his back and whispered in his ear: “I used to be a coward. People can change too, and with that Hibari would go back to focusing his anger on Dino instead of himself and that's good, he would forget about anything but fighting, he would let his body learn by itself; the problem with Hibari, Dino has decided and the paternalism makes him feel way too old, is that the boy is fucking smart but he has the tendency to switch off his brain at the worst moments and then keep it on when he should be letting go)
--
It is a good thing that Romario insisted on having a fully equipped first aid kit in the house - he knows Dino is prone to... er, accident - and now Dino is pretty happy with the way he has patched up Hibari and even ties the bandages with a little (very manly) ribbon as a finishing flourish. Hibari raises one eyebrow at that but he already used up all his threats (including kicking and scratching to death as well as biting, Dino thinks the boy might be diversifying his interests) when Dino sat him on the couch and started cleaning the cuts on his forearms and face.
(and yes, Dino has to admit, he did it more slowly than he needed to, in part because he enjoys Hibari's frown when Dino is being specially nice to him and in part because he thinks the boy should get used to people being nice to him; Dino is not so much older than him that he has the right to teach him lessons in life as well as in fighting, but he tries anyway)
As soon as Dino finishes Hibari starts picking at the band-aids like a bad-mannered little kid. Dino sighs and stands up to get the kit back to the bathroom - but he steps on the remote control (how did it end up on the floor again?) and trips, falling flat on his face on the lush carpet, the contents from the box - bandages, tiny bottles of alcohol, tiny scissors - fallen out and scattered on the floor.
Dine tries to laugh it off, it happens far too often, and he sits on floor for a moment, rubbing his poor nose.
`Clumsy,´ Hibari comments, in a tone that's not endearing at all but rather as if he finds Dino's clumsiness the most offensive thing in life.
`Ah, but that's part of my charm,´ Dino replies, gathering rolls of bandages in his hands, under the sceptic stare of Hibari.
Hibari grabs the remote.
`Do you have satellite?´ he asks.
Dino nods dumbly and disappears into the bathroom. When he comes out Hibari has already taken control of the tv and spread himself comfortably on one side of the couch. Dino sits by his side and Hibari almost doesn't sneer at that, which is a small victory, the only kind Dino is learning he can get.
There's a film about yakuzas on and Dino wonders if Hibari thinks of it as irony, maybe it's just there's always a yakuza film playing in some channel.
`If you talk during the movie, I'll kill you,´ Hibari warns him, clutching at the remote as if afraid Dino is going to try to change stations.
After some minutes of complicated plot - involving honour and mahjong tiles, mostly, and Dino guesses it's a cultural thing again but he is not really interested, stealing the odd glance at Hibari now and then, watching the younger man seemingly engrossed in the story - and many so-called action scenes where the bad guys (there are no good guys in the film) fire round after round of blanks (aw, production values Dino mutters and Hibari punches his knee) he realizes what this moment means.
They are watching a movie together.
`We are watching a movie together,´ Dino points out, such obvious disregard for his own life. `That's almost socially acceptable of you.´
`Didn't I warn you?´ Hibari says between his teeth.
A disarming smile. Dino doesn't think it's going to work on Hibari but anyway.
`It's the commercials,´ he gestures towards the tv set.
`Shut up.´
Hibari shifts and changes position, trying to find a more comfortable spot before the film starts again. He ends up with his back against Dino's shoulder, leaning if not resting on him. He does it thoughtlessly, as if Dino was part of the furniture but there's something oddly hopeful in that, something that if Dino knew how to translate (the casualness, the quick familiarity, the feeling of Hibari's back through the fabric of the t-shirt and against Dino's arm, the warmth of their bodies so close together) might end up being the word one would use for trust.
It comes back, that strange fatherly feeling, and something else.
Then Hibari presses against him even harder, drawing his knees together under his chin, eyes fixed on the screen.
Dino shifts, really uncomfortable.
`Stop fidgeting,´ Hibari warns him in an entirely flat voice, his elbow poking above Dino's hip.
He realizes Hibari is sort of almost curled up against him.
After the film ends Hibari stands up - a little narrow-eyed from sleep - and walking into Dino's room like it's his place to do so. And without a further word to Dino, of course.
`Good night, Kyoya!´ Dino calls after him, and then, louder, just to annoy him: `Sweet dreams.´
[three]
The third time - the horrible time - Dino lets it happen because he is frustrated.
At Hibari, at the world, at all this nonsense about the rings and the Varia, and mainly at himself, for not being able to extract something useful from Hibari's silence and all his wilderness.
They are just not making any progress this afternoon. Dino knows when this happens, he can always hears the CLICK when Hibari's anger and his sense of rivalry just overflows and it's not just about learning, not about training, definitely not about getting stronger or any abstract but vital purpose; it all becomes about a very precise, very limited goal - beating Dino.
He drags Hibari to the car this time, and maybe they are beginning to understand each other because Hibari doesn't protest, as if he knew instinctively he wasn't going to win that argument, there's something in the way Dino is handling him (like he doesn't care if he is hurting him, grabbing Hibari's arm by the spot where the worst wound was inflicted, maybe a punishment, Dino himself doesn't know either) tells Hibari he'd better go along.
--
`Get yourself clean,´ Dino tells him in a tone he himself doesn't like and gestures towards the bathroom.
The boy shrugs and complies, already knows where the first aid kit is.
Dino tries to settle himself, not liking the voice inside his head right now (idiot kid, stupid kid, how is anyone supposed to teach this person anything?); he takes a bottle of mineral water from the fridge and drinks, sinking into one of the kitchen chairs. He listens to the noise Hibari is making in the bathroom, attending to his own wounds and Dino should feel a pang of remorse. Then the door swing open just a bit, just enough, and he sees Hibari, without his shirt on, bending over the sink, cleaning blood from his arm with cold water.
Something about seeing Hibari like this makes Dino click inside, and the speed of it is what surprises him, as if his mind can't catch up with his body, can't catch up to him walking across the living room, and now he is seeing himself from outside, left behind by his limbs, he is witness rather than culprit of what happens next.
What happens next is his hands over Hibari's body, one hand twisted around Hibari's arm and Hibari doesn't even look surprised, he lets Dino push him back against the sink, doesn't look surprised when Dino kisses him, he fights to maintain the same illusion of dignity as he does when fighting - Dino knows his secret now, it's not that Hibari wants to win so badly, it's how he wants to win.
Fighting the young prefect has given Dino an instinctive knowledge of his body, has made him sensitive to each microscopic movement of muscles and joints, the minutiae quickening of the pulse and rising of temperature - it's the kind of knowledge even years of friendship couldn't buy but Dino has achieved in mere days, unintentionally, unwittingly, a knowledge of skin through fists and blood. They have been like this before - well, not quite like this perhaps; Dino has had him pinned down to the floor or against a wall many times now, they have held each other close and in tension, their faces almost touching and the sounds of their breathing indistinguishable from those of lovers, the whimpering and moaning and growling.
Hibari's body betrays his youth in ways that his behaviour never does; Dino's body too, in his heaviness, is a tell-tale of his years, the impatience he cannot hide, that clashes with his loud and preposterous declaration of himself as Hibari's home tutor.
`I'm going to bite you to death,´ the boy says, as if this all was written down in a script. But there's also a hint of humour in his eyes and Dino takes the threat as a private joke, because they have private jokes already and even if this isn't one of them Dino leans into Hibari and kisses him again and slides his hand down Hibari's trousers.
Dino thinks there are such things as lines, and such moments as this, about having crossed them. He's always thought of himself as a good person, and beating a teenage senseless for training is one thing - and there were times too where he could see the line there, himself dangerously veering towards it, like holding Hibari down on his knees and twisting his arm until he can almost hear it break but Dino knew what Hibari was capable of, what he could come back fro - but this something else entirely.
Dino comes this close to hating himself now and then he feels Hibari's teeth on his shoulder, more desperate than damaging, and he speeds towards that line and, scrapping one fingernail against Hibari's cock and making him come, Dino crosses it and leaves it behind. Way behind.
[four]
The fourth time Hibari knocks over the lamp in the living room - it doesn't break, it just makes an odd, blunt sound against the carpet.
He attacks Dino on the couch and maybe attack is not the word for it, because Dino would want to keep those expressions in the realm of their training, because he doesn't want this - whatever this, and that's a clichéd question too - to become an extension of their training. He really doesn't want to fall into the trap of fighting equals sex and sex equals fighting.
But it seems that for Hibari there is only one language.
He pins Dino down on the couch, straddling him, knees on each side of Dino's hips.
Hibari bites down, hard, and it's not even surprising when Dino can taste his own blood between their mouths, on Hibari's tongue and at the back of his throat; he wonders idly if there's any way this kid could ever separate blood and sex, pain and pleasure. He sighs against Hibari and his stubborn teeth and grabs him by the back of his neck, gentle massaging as if to prove a point, to slow him down, Dino wants so much more for the boy than this.
`What are you doing?´ Hibari asks, shifting a bit, propping himself on his elbows and, as a result, putting more weight on his hips so that Dino can't help but draw a long, hitched breath.
Dino has the desire to run his fingers through his hair but fights it; not so well, his fingers, brushing across Hibari's nape, twitch and as if against his own will catch a strand of Hibari's hair between two fingertips.
It's like an alarm goes off in Hibari's mind; Dino wonders how is it possible, what kind of natural defence against tenderness the kid has.
`What are you doing?´ he repeats and Dino knows he hates doing that.
Dino more or less sits him up and Hibari more or less lets him; bedroom, Dino breathes out clumsily because at least he is going to make that attempt at something normal between them.
It is really a bad idea, trying to hold Hibari's hand to lead him to his room (Hibari shoves him off with a slap to the wrist) but in the end the boy follows, anyway.
--
Dino studies, is fixated on the sheets on his bed - he regards them as something alien to him right now, maybe because Hibari is twisting his hand into them as he writhes under Dino's weight. The boy's fingers between the expensive fabric, for a moment Dino is utterly distracted by the image.
`Move or I'll kill you,´ Hibari growls and it sounds awfully like a demand, and a bit like a plea. Ha.
Dino smirks.
`I thought we established you were going to kill me in any case,´ he teases, his voice not completely his own sunny tone but raw around the edges, darkened by the fact that he is inside the boy, his hips twitching against Dino's movements or, right now, his lack of movements. Hibari is not patient. Dino, always wanting to see how far he can push without breaking, bears the weight of his own desire a bit longer, and he doesn't move yet. His voice is sticky and hot: `I taught you about this, you can't win a negotiation if you have no leverage.´
Despite his protests in the end maybe sex isn't so different from fighting - Hibari is a warrior, Dino knows this, in the sense that he is at war, with everything, with everybody. The same principles apply as in their training and Dino finds himself repeating patterns: if he leaves an opening Hibari will attack that, and if he shows too much weakness (the faint trace of warmth as he runs his fingertips over the boy's spine) Hibari will think he is being easy on him, that he is losing on purpose and he will kick and scream and bite. It's a thing of balance.
-
Hibari kicks him out of the bed when they are done and Dino goes back, barefoot and confused, to the couch. This is shaping up to be a pattern in his life, in his new life, and Dino knows he should not like it but he does.
[five]
The last journey before Hibari is ready (before they are ready) to face the Varia is the longest one - or it feels like it. Completely worn out they leave the bags at Dino's place and suddenly Hibari doesn't seem like wanting to move out of the couch any time soon.
Or when he does move it is to grab Dino by his shirt and pulled him against his body, twisting one hand into Dino's clothes and making a clumsy attempt at removing them. There's a blatant lack of warning or foreplay.
Quite the same strategy (or lack of) Hibari uses when he fights.
He tries to kiss Dino.
Dino could start appreciating Hibari's random hormonal impulses if it weren't for the little voice in his head (that sometimes sounds very much like Romario's: remember why you are doing this, this is to help the Vongola).
Dino is not sure how you say “ulterior motives” in Japanese.
`I'm too old for you,´ Dino blurts out, and it sounds intensely melodramatic but fuck it, he is a melodramatic person so maybe that's not so far-fetched, the melodrama. (Even in his most dramatic moments he knows he is lying through his teeth, he is not too old, it was only yesterday that he was about Hibari's age, a different set of problems, yes, but pretty much the same young boy's awkwardness.)
Hibari looks at him as if he had grown a second head, there's actually almost real concern in that stare, as if the only possible explanation to Dino saying such a thing is that he has some kind of deadly and debilitating disease.
Hibari sneers, looking at him as if his words didn't deserve even the effort of rebuttal, and then his hands go to Dino's belt, unskilled but stubborn. It occurs to Dino that he might be embarrassed and this is his way of changing the subject. Or maybe that's his argument, and it's a good one too, Dino can feel himself getting hard even before Hibari has actually touched him at all, just at the idea.
(they did not fuck during those days they were on a journey; Hibari's whole attention seemed to have been on the training and Dino imagined he had forgotten all about it altogether, he remembers being sixteen and this whimsical so why would Hibari attach himself; Dino told himself he was relieved)
He stops him, finally, after some fight - he stops him but he doesn't quite brush him off - by grabbing his arms by his elbows.
`The difference might not see too much but right now, it is. You should come to these experiences on your own terms, not like this.´
(lying, lying through your teeth)
Dino has no idea where the patronizing voice comes from, had idea he had that side to him.
`Kyoya-kun...´ He calls cheerily, grinning a fake grin.
`I'll kill you,´ Hibari says.
Dino laughs. Hibari's voice sounds charmingly grumbly for once.
Hibari raises one hand and twists his fingers into a fist, the slowness of the movement like a warning, which Dino guesses is uncharacteristically merciful of the boy.
Dino reaches his hand to that challenge: he presses his palm against Hibari's knuckles and holds him in place without a word. This is a trick that has never worked when they are fighting so Dino (something in his stomach aching, like hope or some other cheap metaphor Dino is so fond of) imagines that perhaps it is different, this is. This is more than just an extension, more than just about being his tutor and more than about Hibari's unyielding desire to beat him.
In any case, it seems to do the trick (Hibari opens his hand and shoves Dino's away).
Hibari lets go of his belt; it's not unlike the feeling when Dino overpowers him in battle, because Hibari never gives up but the closest one can get is making him let go. And this very much like it, like that moment when they fight and Hibari realizes his zero chances and it's better to live another day and grow stronger. Sometimes even Kyoya Hibari sees the value of having common sense.
`I don't care either way,´ he says finally and stands up.
Dino wonders if he means it, unable to catch the subtler signs in his tone, thinking I really don't know this kid at all, thinking it's a dictionary divine and also a Dino-Kyoya divide, very personal, their own particular form of uncommunication.
Dino is adamant to feel guilty about it, even if Hibari refuses to blame him, refuses to acknowledge there's anything wrong with what he did (what he is doing, a voice in the back of Dino's mind, accusing). He feels like he has robbed Hibari of something, something vital - he knows Kyoya is not him and wouldn't have the same experiences he did but Dino remembers his first kiss, he remembers being clumsy with girls and the little advances, the glorious pain of waiting and fumbling, hands and skirts and trousers, the memory of that is what makes him feel so guilty.
He wishes he could explain this to Hibari, but he doubts he could hold the boy down long enough so he'd listen to all that, in the case he could find the words.
It's not going to be tonight anyway, because while Dino fumbles with meaning and definitions (he is not Hibari's teacher, not his rival, not his lover) in his mind Hibari is already on his feet and walking away.
All that Dino can do for now is watch him go, watch him walk into the bedroom and closed the door.
Dino feels as if he's been doing an awful lot of watching Hibari's back as he walks away. He feels the boy is very good at closing doors.
--
It's just past one o'clock (Dino has a very bad internal clock but a very expensive watch) when he hears it. He knows from training that Hibari is a quiet, cunningly stealth bastards when he wants to. But the other thing he learned through training him is to tune his body to catch even the lowest noises he makes.
Dino listens to the door of his bedroom opening and he listens to the footsteps that barely echo and approach the couch from behind.
He decides to shut his eyes tightly and pretend he is asleep. This has also learned about Hibari, sometimes it's better to wait him out rather than extract a reaction from him. Dino waits. He can feel the boy's presence now in front of him, by the foot of the couch. Dino wonders what he is doing. Watching him sleep? Studying him? Deciding something? He almost loses his patience because minutes pass and Hibari hasn't moved.
But finally-
Well, finally Dino hears something that's like a breath being let out and the next thing he knows it's a body (& warmth) pushed against his own and it takes all his strength and trained reflexes not to flinch at the contact, not to react in some way when Hibari presses his back against Dino's chest and somehow arranges their limbs so the fit together on the couch.
Acknowledging his presence would mean this is over, Dino knows this. He wonders if Hibari is sleepwalking perhaps and decides that even if he is, that's all right, something in him made him seek Dino in the middle of the night, something in the boy craves his company.
Because he is a hopeless romantic, this makes Dino happy.
Dino doesn't do anything crazy or suicidal like slipping one arm around the boy's waist or pressing his mouth against the base of his neck. Dino is neither stupid nor suicidal.
Maybe it is fine. Maybe it's the drowsiness of having a warm body pressed against him, maybe it's the little gesture - but a gesture nonetheless - of Hibari coming to him, in a way that wasn't demanding as it had always been but open and almost gentle (almost weak). And maybe that's fine. Dino realizes that hey, sometimes it happens like this, that's teenage years and growing up all over. Maybe some boys it this way, instead of fumbling kisses and first dates and hands up some girl's skirt, maybe some boys stumble upon ill-advised relationships with older men who are training them to become better killers, but maybe that works too.
In any case Dino is glad he bought such a big couch.
Author: zauberer_sirin
Rating: R for non-graphic sex.
Warnings: Hibari is sixteen in this.
Word count: 5380
Summary: Dino really doesn't want to fall into the old trap of fighting equals sex and sex equals fighting.
Prompt: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Dino/Hibari, - fight like sex - taste of blood.
A/N: Huge apologies for the lateness. This one got away from me quite a bit. I'm pretty sure this is not what you wanted from the prompt.
cold things never catch fire
(four times Hibari sleeps in Dino's bed, and one he doesn't)
It has always been about communication.
One of the things Dino liked doing, like a twisted tourist, was standing in front of the subway panels, trying to decipher the ridiculous signs, even though Romario kept telling him that it wasn't necessary, that the car was waiting for him.
Sometimes a cultural divine is not such a bad thing - and Dino likes the idea of just visiting, of being a foreign one, because that way he can learn appreciate the sights.
Dino spoke perfect Japanese and even could handle basic reading and writing (a dog-eared copy of Kanji for foreigners in his suitcase) but there was still a barrier that was more complicated that just language between him and Hibari.
[one]
Like most things it starts on a rainy day, like most things because Dino is a romantic, a romantic in a black-and-white movies sense, the shallow, skin-deep kind of romantic. He will remember the skyline of this particular Sunday afternoon for months afterwards, grey and blue splayed with little dots of orange and white on the clouds, like a minor, now-forgotten pontillistic painting.
It starts because he sees Hibari shivering - not much, but obviously struggling with his own body to conceal the fact from Dino - with Dino standing over him (knee pressed against the chest, his whip immobilizing the boy's hands) and the sky opening above them, rain pouring.
Dino hasn't noticed it, the rain, until he sees the line of Hibari's shoulders tremble a bit. Dino licks his lips and tastes bitter rain. The boy looks small and frail all of the sudden.
`You are going to catch your death like this,´ Dino says, gesturing towards the sky and releasing his grip on Hibari and standing on his feet. `Come on, my flat is only five minutes from here, you can change your clothes and not catch pneumonia perhaps.´
He offers his hand to Hibari, knowing it's in vain, pouting in joke when the boy stands up by himself.
Dino expects him to refuse his offer, of course - that would be like admitting he needs help, that he could ever take a friendly favour from Dino. But he doesn't refuse, he looks up at the clouds between the rooftops - Dino takes it as the signal to start leading, in case Hibari changes his mind in the next split of second.
--
It's a ghost building, state-of-the-art technology and clean and sharp, lush and expensive-rent but quiet, which doesn't suit Dino at all but he does suit his purpose in coming to Japan. One of those very slick apartments with the kitchen and the living room in the same space and huge windows, two-digits floor number. Romario is staying on the floor above him and that gives Dino enough peace of mind to overlook how lonely and impersonal his living room looks, how he's surrounded himself with empty space and steel furniture.
The idea of Hibari in his flat baffles him for a moment, it takes him one second longer to turn the key in the lock. Dino has left shirts on the back of chairs and half-empty coffee cups on the table but Hibari takes no notice of it.
Dino tries very hard to assure himself there's nothing wrong with the situation - but it creeps on him, the thought, the implications, the slight feeling of uneasiness about having a 16-year-old alone in his flat. It makes him feel awkward. He almost trips over himself showing Hibari the way to the bathroom and clean towels.
They stand facing each other for a moment and then Hibari grabs his own shirt, making a questioning gesture.
`Oh yes, sorry, here,´ Dino feels a rush of blood to his cheeks when he hands Hibari a t-shirt but he believes himself too old for blushing.
He also feels suddenly very fatherly towards the boy, having him borrow his clothes.
He tries not to think about that while Hibari showers, the sound of water filling the room. Dino switches the television on - crazy quizzes are on in this time slot, they are colourful, they remind Dino of Italian tv somehow - but he can hear the shower running through it all. He can picture it, Hibari under the hot water - no, scolding hot water, because Dino has the feeling he likes it like that. Warmth quickly spreading through his body. Dino tries not to think about that either.
--
Dino checks his wristwatch now and he figures it's too late for Hibari to go back home now, but he doesn't really believe he'd accept his offer of staying the night.
The boy surprises him for the second time today.
`I'm taking the bed,´ Hibari announces when he comes out of the bathroom. His hair still wet but with all the ends pointing out from drying it with the towel. The towel now around his shoulders. Dino's t-shirt is too big for him and Hibari looks as if he is trying very hard not to appear self-conscious but he is a boy after all so it shows anyway. `The couch is big enough for you.´
Seeing him like this Dino goes back to that earlier worry of implications, propriety and 16-year-olds and the idea pops into his mind (& against his will), that famous Japanese thing of taking a shower before and after sex. Hibari looks fresh, clean, ready.
The boy actually stands in the hallways for a moment, his expression impossible to read but as if he was waiting for Dino to do something - waiting for Dino to come with him? - or say something. Dino clutches the cushion on the back of the couch and stares back at Hibari, blankly, like an idiot. There's a very precise moment of almost expectation when none of them seem to be breathing or rather both of them seem to be holding their breaths. Then, just like that, the moment is gone and Hibari turns his back on him and walks into Dino's bedroom, closing the door behind him, leaving Dino behind.
Finally Dino recovers, he lies there on the couch thinking it's indeed a good thing he decided to buy such a big couch, even if he had no plans to giving up his bed (not like this, anyway). He looks at the ceiling wonders if Romario is still awake up there and what he'd think about all this; he must know Hibari never went home.
Dino thinks about the boy in his bed, and how small he must look in that big bed, all empty. Alone. Something tenses and snaps inside Dino and he doesn't know what it is but he keeps him awake for a long time.
--
Dino likes the idea of leaving things behind so that other people could find them by accident, like little postcards of himself, wish you were heres whispered to no one in particular, just the whole world. Also likes finding traces of other people in random places, that's why he likes hotel rooms and furnished flats - the odd craving for something homely.
Hibari leaves nothing of himself when he leaves the next morning so early it hurts Dino's eyes not because there's too much sunlight but because it's a strange shade of colour, orange and blue and all that terrible silence out in the street.
They have this clumsy conversation where Dino offers to cook some breakfast and Hibari looks at him in a way that Dino is beginning to learn how to read; it surprises him and pleases him, this starting to tell the little details of the boy's face, what others might overlook and what now Dino can translate into something resembling average human emotion. But the translation comes the same, Hibari seems offended by Dino's humble suggestion of coffee and eggs.
Dino sends Romario for the car, so that Hibari can grab his school clothes in time before the classes start. It's Monday and when Hibari walks out of his door Dino imagines it's one of those things that are not bound to happen again. He wonders if he should change the sheets.
[two]
The second time he stays at his flat is actually Hibari's suggestion - if by suggestion one might understand a slight shrug while he drags his feet in the direction of Dino's street.
He brushes two fingers over a new wound on his shoulder, turning his palm as if to show Dino the blood, thick, glistening on his fingertips.
`I don't want to mess up my bathroom cleaning this,´ he offers, a weak excuse.
`But getting my place dirty is all right?´ Dino asks.
`Yes.´
(the training - Dino calls it training, Hibari calls it let's fight - has gone particularly quiet and constructive that afternoon;
Dino has learned how to divert Hibari's frustration at his own limits somewhere else; he twisted his hand behind his back and whispered in his ear: “I used to be a coward. People can change too, and with that Hibari would go back to focusing his anger on Dino instead of himself and that's good, he would forget about anything but fighting, he would let his body learn by itself; the problem with Hibari, Dino has decided and the paternalism makes him feel way too old, is that the boy is fucking smart but he has the tendency to switch off his brain at the worst moments and then keep it on when he should be letting go)
--
It is a good thing that Romario insisted on having a fully equipped first aid kit in the house - he knows Dino is prone to... er, accident - and now Dino is pretty happy with the way he has patched up Hibari and even ties the bandages with a little (very manly) ribbon as a finishing flourish. Hibari raises one eyebrow at that but he already used up all his threats (including kicking and scratching to death as well as biting, Dino thinks the boy might be diversifying his interests) when Dino sat him on the couch and started cleaning the cuts on his forearms and face.
(and yes, Dino has to admit, he did it more slowly than he needed to, in part because he enjoys Hibari's frown when Dino is being specially nice to him and in part because he thinks the boy should get used to people being nice to him; Dino is not so much older than him that he has the right to teach him lessons in life as well as in fighting, but he tries anyway)
As soon as Dino finishes Hibari starts picking at the band-aids like a bad-mannered little kid. Dino sighs and stands up to get the kit back to the bathroom - but he steps on the remote control (how did it end up on the floor again?) and trips, falling flat on his face on the lush carpet, the contents from the box - bandages, tiny bottles of alcohol, tiny scissors - fallen out and scattered on the floor.
Dine tries to laugh it off, it happens far too often, and he sits on floor for a moment, rubbing his poor nose.
`Clumsy,´ Hibari comments, in a tone that's not endearing at all but rather as if he finds Dino's clumsiness the most offensive thing in life.
`Ah, but that's part of my charm,´ Dino replies, gathering rolls of bandages in his hands, under the sceptic stare of Hibari.
Hibari grabs the remote.
`Do you have satellite?´ he asks.
Dino nods dumbly and disappears into the bathroom. When he comes out Hibari has already taken control of the tv and spread himself comfortably on one side of the couch. Dino sits by his side and Hibari almost doesn't sneer at that, which is a small victory, the only kind Dino is learning he can get.
There's a film about yakuzas on and Dino wonders if Hibari thinks of it as irony, maybe it's just there's always a yakuza film playing in some channel.
`If you talk during the movie, I'll kill you,´ Hibari warns him, clutching at the remote as if afraid Dino is going to try to change stations.
After some minutes of complicated plot - involving honour and mahjong tiles, mostly, and Dino guesses it's a cultural thing again but he is not really interested, stealing the odd glance at Hibari now and then, watching the younger man seemingly engrossed in the story - and many so-called action scenes where the bad guys (there are no good guys in the film) fire round after round of blanks (aw, production values Dino mutters and Hibari punches his knee) he realizes what this moment means.
They are watching a movie together.
`We are watching a movie together,´ Dino points out, such obvious disregard for his own life. `That's almost socially acceptable of you.´
`Didn't I warn you?´ Hibari says between his teeth.
A disarming smile. Dino doesn't think it's going to work on Hibari but anyway.
`It's the commercials,´ he gestures towards the tv set.
`Shut up.´
Hibari shifts and changes position, trying to find a more comfortable spot before the film starts again. He ends up with his back against Dino's shoulder, leaning if not resting on him. He does it thoughtlessly, as if Dino was part of the furniture but there's something oddly hopeful in that, something that if Dino knew how to translate (the casualness, the quick familiarity, the feeling of Hibari's back through the fabric of the t-shirt and against Dino's arm, the warmth of their bodies so close together) might end up being the word one would use for trust.
It comes back, that strange fatherly feeling, and something else.
Then Hibari presses against him even harder, drawing his knees together under his chin, eyes fixed on the screen.
Dino shifts, really uncomfortable.
`Stop fidgeting,´ Hibari warns him in an entirely flat voice, his elbow poking above Dino's hip.
He realizes Hibari is sort of almost curled up against him.
After the film ends Hibari stands up - a little narrow-eyed from sleep - and walking into Dino's room like it's his place to do so. And without a further word to Dino, of course.
`Good night, Kyoya!´ Dino calls after him, and then, louder, just to annoy him: `Sweet dreams.´
[three]
The third time - the horrible time - Dino lets it happen because he is frustrated.
At Hibari, at the world, at all this nonsense about the rings and the Varia, and mainly at himself, for not being able to extract something useful from Hibari's silence and all his wilderness.
They are just not making any progress this afternoon. Dino knows when this happens, he can always hears the CLICK when Hibari's anger and his sense of rivalry just overflows and it's not just about learning, not about training, definitely not about getting stronger or any abstract but vital purpose; it all becomes about a very precise, very limited goal - beating Dino.
He drags Hibari to the car this time, and maybe they are beginning to understand each other because Hibari doesn't protest, as if he knew instinctively he wasn't going to win that argument, there's something in the way Dino is handling him (like he doesn't care if he is hurting him, grabbing Hibari's arm by the spot where the worst wound was inflicted, maybe a punishment, Dino himself doesn't know either) tells Hibari he'd better go along.
--
`Get yourself clean,´ Dino tells him in a tone he himself doesn't like and gestures towards the bathroom.
The boy shrugs and complies, already knows where the first aid kit is.
Dino tries to settle himself, not liking the voice inside his head right now (idiot kid, stupid kid, how is anyone supposed to teach this person anything?); he takes a bottle of mineral water from the fridge and drinks, sinking into one of the kitchen chairs. He listens to the noise Hibari is making in the bathroom, attending to his own wounds and Dino should feel a pang of remorse. Then the door swing open just a bit, just enough, and he sees Hibari, without his shirt on, bending over the sink, cleaning blood from his arm with cold water.
Something about seeing Hibari like this makes Dino click inside, and the speed of it is what surprises him, as if his mind can't catch up with his body, can't catch up to him walking across the living room, and now he is seeing himself from outside, left behind by his limbs, he is witness rather than culprit of what happens next.
What happens next is his hands over Hibari's body, one hand twisted around Hibari's arm and Hibari doesn't even look surprised, he lets Dino push him back against the sink, doesn't look surprised when Dino kisses him, he fights to maintain the same illusion of dignity as he does when fighting - Dino knows his secret now, it's not that Hibari wants to win so badly, it's how he wants to win.
Fighting the young prefect has given Dino an instinctive knowledge of his body, has made him sensitive to each microscopic movement of muscles and joints, the minutiae quickening of the pulse and rising of temperature - it's the kind of knowledge even years of friendship couldn't buy but Dino has achieved in mere days, unintentionally, unwittingly, a knowledge of skin through fists and blood. They have been like this before - well, not quite like this perhaps; Dino has had him pinned down to the floor or against a wall many times now, they have held each other close and in tension, their faces almost touching and the sounds of their breathing indistinguishable from those of lovers, the whimpering and moaning and growling.
Hibari's body betrays his youth in ways that his behaviour never does; Dino's body too, in his heaviness, is a tell-tale of his years, the impatience he cannot hide, that clashes with his loud and preposterous declaration of himself as Hibari's home tutor.
`I'm going to bite you to death,´ the boy says, as if this all was written down in a script. But there's also a hint of humour in his eyes and Dino takes the threat as a private joke, because they have private jokes already and even if this isn't one of them Dino leans into Hibari and kisses him again and slides his hand down Hibari's trousers.
Dino thinks there are such things as lines, and such moments as this, about having crossed them. He's always thought of himself as a good person, and beating a teenage senseless for training is one thing - and there were times too where he could see the line there, himself dangerously veering towards it, like holding Hibari down on his knees and twisting his arm until he can almost hear it break but Dino knew what Hibari was capable of, what he could come back fro - but this something else entirely.
Dino comes this close to hating himself now and then he feels Hibari's teeth on his shoulder, more desperate than damaging, and he speeds towards that line and, scrapping one fingernail against Hibari's cock and making him come, Dino crosses it and leaves it behind. Way behind.
[four]
The fourth time Hibari knocks over the lamp in the living room - it doesn't break, it just makes an odd, blunt sound against the carpet.
He attacks Dino on the couch and maybe attack is not the word for it, because Dino would want to keep those expressions in the realm of their training, because he doesn't want this - whatever this, and that's a clichéd question too - to become an extension of their training. He really doesn't want to fall into the trap of fighting equals sex and sex equals fighting.
But it seems that for Hibari there is only one language.
He pins Dino down on the couch, straddling him, knees on each side of Dino's hips.
Hibari bites down, hard, and it's not even surprising when Dino can taste his own blood between their mouths, on Hibari's tongue and at the back of his throat; he wonders idly if there's any way this kid could ever separate blood and sex, pain and pleasure. He sighs against Hibari and his stubborn teeth and grabs him by the back of his neck, gentle massaging as if to prove a point, to slow him down, Dino wants so much more for the boy than this.
`What are you doing?´ Hibari asks, shifting a bit, propping himself on his elbows and, as a result, putting more weight on his hips so that Dino can't help but draw a long, hitched breath.
Dino has the desire to run his fingers through his hair but fights it; not so well, his fingers, brushing across Hibari's nape, twitch and as if against his own will catch a strand of Hibari's hair between two fingertips.
It's like an alarm goes off in Hibari's mind; Dino wonders how is it possible, what kind of natural defence against tenderness the kid has.
`What are you doing?´ he repeats and Dino knows he hates doing that.
Dino more or less sits him up and Hibari more or less lets him; bedroom, Dino breathes out clumsily because at least he is going to make that attempt at something normal between them.
It is really a bad idea, trying to hold Hibari's hand to lead him to his room (Hibari shoves him off with a slap to the wrist) but in the end the boy follows, anyway.
--
Dino studies, is fixated on the sheets on his bed - he regards them as something alien to him right now, maybe because Hibari is twisting his hand into them as he writhes under Dino's weight. The boy's fingers between the expensive fabric, for a moment Dino is utterly distracted by the image.
`Move or I'll kill you,´ Hibari growls and it sounds awfully like a demand, and a bit like a plea. Ha.
Dino smirks.
`I thought we established you were going to kill me in any case,´ he teases, his voice not completely his own sunny tone but raw around the edges, darkened by the fact that he is inside the boy, his hips twitching against Dino's movements or, right now, his lack of movements. Hibari is not patient. Dino, always wanting to see how far he can push without breaking, bears the weight of his own desire a bit longer, and he doesn't move yet. His voice is sticky and hot: `I taught you about this, you can't win a negotiation if you have no leverage.´
Despite his protests in the end maybe sex isn't so different from fighting - Hibari is a warrior, Dino knows this, in the sense that he is at war, with everything, with everybody. The same principles apply as in their training and Dino finds himself repeating patterns: if he leaves an opening Hibari will attack that, and if he shows too much weakness (the faint trace of warmth as he runs his fingertips over the boy's spine) Hibari will think he is being easy on him, that he is losing on purpose and he will kick and scream and bite. It's a thing of balance.
-
Hibari kicks him out of the bed when they are done and Dino goes back, barefoot and confused, to the couch. This is shaping up to be a pattern in his life, in his new life, and Dino knows he should not like it but he does.
[five]
The last journey before Hibari is ready (before they are ready) to face the Varia is the longest one - or it feels like it. Completely worn out they leave the bags at Dino's place and suddenly Hibari doesn't seem like wanting to move out of the couch any time soon.
Or when he does move it is to grab Dino by his shirt and pulled him against his body, twisting one hand into Dino's clothes and making a clumsy attempt at removing them. There's a blatant lack of warning or foreplay.
Quite the same strategy (or lack of) Hibari uses when he fights.
He tries to kiss Dino.
Dino could start appreciating Hibari's random hormonal impulses if it weren't for the little voice in his head (that sometimes sounds very much like Romario's: remember why you are doing this, this is to help the Vongola).
Dino is not sure how you say “ulterior motives” in Japanese.
`I'm too old for you,´ Dino blurts out, and it sounds intensely melodramatic but fuck it, he is a melodramatic person so maybe that's not so far-fetched, the melodrama. (Even in his most dramatic moments he knows he is lying through his teeth, he is not too old, it was only yesterday that he was about Hibari's age, a different set of problems, yes, but pretty much the same young boy's awkwardness.)
Hibari looks at him as if he had grown a second head, there's actually almost real concern in that stare, as if the only possible explanation to Dino saying such a thing is that he has some kind of deadly and debilitating disease.
Hibari sneers, looking at him as if his words didn't deserve even the effort of rebuttal, and then his hands go to Dino's belt, unskilled but stubborn. It occurs to Dino that he might be embarrassed and this is his way of changing the subject. Or maybe that's his argument, and it's a good one too, Dino can feel himself getting hard even before Hibari has actually touched him at all, just at the idea.
(they did not fuck during those days they were on a journey; Hibari's whole attention seemed to have been on the training and Dino imagined he had forgotten all about it altogether, he remembers being sixteen and this whimsical so why would Hibari attach himself; Dino told himself he was relieved)
He stops him, finally, after some fight - he stops him but he doesn't quite brush him off - by grabbing his arms by his elbows.
`The difference might not see too much but right now, it is. You should come to these experiences on your own terms, not like this.´
(lying, lying through your teeth)
Dino has no idea where the patronizing voice comes from, had idea he had that side to him.
`Kyoya-kun...´ He calls cheerily, grinning a fake grin.
`I'll kill you,´ Hibari says.
Dino laughs. Hibari's voice sounds charmingly grumbly for once.
Hibari raises one hand and twists his fingers into a fist, the slowness of the movement like a warning, which Dino guesses is uncharacteristically merciful of the boy.
Dino reaches his hand to that challenge: he presses his palm against Hibari's knuckles and holds him in place without a word. This is a trick that has never worked when they are fighting so Dino (something in his stomach aching, like hope or some other cheap metaphor Dino is so fond of) imagines that perhaps it is different, this is. This is more than just an extension, more than just about being his tutor and more than about Hibari's unyielding desire to beat him.
In any case, it seems to do the trick (Hibari opens his hand and shoves Dino's away).
Hibari lets go of his belt; it's not unlike the feeling when Dino overpowers him in battle, because Hibari never gives up but the closest one can get is making him let go. And this very much like it, like that moment when they fight and Hibari realizes his zero chances and it's better to live another day and grow stronger. Sometimes even Kyoya Hibari sees the value of having common sense.
`I don't care either way,´ he says finally and stands up.
Dino wonders if he means it, unable to catch the subtler signs in his tone, thinking I really don't know this kid at all, thinking it's a dictionary divine and also a Dino-Kyoya divide, very personal, their own particular form of uncommunication.
Dino is adamant to feel guilty about it, even if Hibari refuses to blame him, refuses to acknowledge there's anything wrong with what he did (what he is doing, a voice in the back of Dino's mind, accusing). He feels like he has robbed Hibari of something, something vital - he knows Kyoya is not him and wouldn't have the same experiences he did but Dino remembers his first kiss, he remembers being clumsy with girls and the little advances, the glorious pain of waiting and fumbling, hands and skirts and trousers, the memory of that is what makes him feel so guilty.
He wishes he could explain this to Hibari, but he doubts he could hold the boy down long enough so he'd listen to all that, in the case he could find the words.
It's not going to be tonight anyway, because while Dino fumbles with meaning and definitions (he is not Hibari's teacher, not his rival, not his lover) in his mind Hibari is already on his feet and walking away.
All that Dino can do for now is watch him go, watch him walk into the bedroom and closed the door.
Dino feels as if he's been doing an awful lot of watching Hibari's back as he walks away. He feels the boy is very good at closing doors.
--
It's just past one o'clock (Dino has a very bad internal clock but a very expensive watch) when he hears it. He knows from training that Hibari is a quiet, cunningly stealth bastards when he wants to. But the other thing he learned through training him is to tune his body to catch even the lowest noises he makes.
Dino listens to the door of his bedroom opening and he listens to the footsteps that barely echo and approach the couch from behind.
He decides to shut his eyes tightly and pretend he is asleep. This has also learned about Hibari, sometimes it's better to wait him out rather than extract a reaction from him. Dino waits. He can feel the boy's presence now in front of him, by the foot of the couch. Dino wonders what he is doing. Watching him sleep? Studying him? Deciding something? He almost loses his patience because minutes pass and Hibari hasn't moved.
But finally-
Well, finally Dino hears something that's like a breath being let out and the next thing he knows it's a body (& warmth) pushed against his own and it takes all his strength and trained reflexes not to flinch at the contact, not to react in some way when Hibari presses his back against Dino's chest and somehow arranges their limbs so the fit together on the couch.
Acknowledging his presence would mean this is over, Dino knows this. He wonders if Hibari is sleepwalking perhaps and decides that even if he is, that's all right, something in him made him seek Dino in the middle of the night, something in the boy craves his company.
Because he is a hopeless romantic, this makes Dino happy.
Dino doesn't do anything crazy or suicidal like slipping one arm around the boy's waist or pressing his mouth against the base of his neck. Dino is neither stupid nor suicidal.
Maybe it is fine. Maybe it's the drowsiness of having a warm body pressed against him, maybe it's the little gesture - but a gesture nonetheless - of Hibari coming to him, in a way that wasn't demanding as it had always been but open and almost gentle (almost weak). And maybe that's fine. Dino realizes that hey, sometimes it happens like this, that's teenage years and growing up all over. Maybe some boys it this way, instead of fumbling kisses and first dates and hands up some girl's skirt, maybe some boys stumble upon ill-advised relationships with older men who are training them to become better killers, but maybe that works too.
In any case Dino is glad he bought such a big couch.