hands-on investigation (Phoenix Wright, Phoenix/Miles, PG)
Title: hands-on investigation
Author/Artist: incandescens
Rating: PG
Warnings: Men in pyjamas.
Prompt: November 30th - Ace Attorney, Phoenix/Miles: struggle for dominance - "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the greatest lawyer of them all?"
Word count: 484
The two men faced each other.
"It would have been blatantly impossible for me to remove the cornflakes from the cupboard," Edgeworth stated. "Since it is padlocked, and the key is currently in the possession of Maya Fey, there is no way that I could have obtained them."
"Objection!" Phoenix declared. "It would have been possible for you to wriggle your arm into the cupboard, using the slack in the padlock's chain, and pull the cornflakes out, make yourself breakfast, and then replace the box in the cupboard."
Edgeworth chuckled annoyingly and ruffled his pyjamas. "Implausible, unlikely, and unthinkable. Come now, Wright, this wild hypothesis about getting an arm in there --"
"Entirely possible!" Phoenix snapped. He walked over to the main kitchen cupboard, joggled the doors till the chain on them was as loose as possible, shook his dressing-gown sleeve back from his hand, and slowly worked his hand up inside the cupboard. He wriggled it round till he had his arm in the cupboard up to the elbow, and could feel the edge of the cornflake packet. "There!"
Edgeworth paused. Then he rallied. "Just because you could get your arm in the cupboard does not prove that I could get my arm in the cupboard. Take a sample cupboard. Take this cupboard!" He pointed at the cupboard next to the one which had Phoenix's arm in it. "Now observe. I attempt to get my arm inside, and indeed, with some effort --" His face twisted as he wriggled his hand into the gap at the bottom, "I can indeed get my arm up to the elbow, though it is debatable as to whether I could reach the shelf with the cornflakes on it. Certainly there is no proof that --"
He paused.
"Wright," he said, "I think I'm stuck."
Phoenix repressed an urge to gloat. Another example to show the Wright muscle in action. "Here, let me --" he began, then paused as he tried to get his arm out. "Just a moment . . ."
Several minutes later, Edgeworth sighed. "Wright. Are you stuck too?"
"Temporarily inconvenienced," Phoenix said through gritted teeth. "I'll be out in a moment. Ow!"
"You realise that this shatters your cornflake theft theory," Edgeworth said, as smugly as a man in crimson silk pyjamas with one arm stuck in a cupboard could.
"I'll still manage to turn the case around!" Phoenix declared.
There was a crash inside the cupboard as his thrashing managed to displace a shelf. Cornflakes came sifting down and through the open crack of the cupboard doors, drifting onto his hair and settling on his shoulders.
"Hah!" Edgeworth declared. "Positive evidence that the cornflakes were not eaten!"
"The thief must have replaced them," Phoenix said weakly.
Something in the cupboard behind him fell over with a melancholy boom, like a judge's gavel knocking the not guilty verdict.
Phoenix sighed.
Author/Artist: incandescens
Rating: PG
Warnings: Men in pyjamas.
Prompt: November 30th - Ace Attorney, Phoenix/Miles: struggle for dominance - "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the greatest lawyer of them all?"
Word count: 484
The two men faced each other.
"It would have been blatantly impossible for me to remove the cornflakes from the cupboard," Edgeworth stated. "Since it is padlocked, and the key is currently in the possession of Maya Fey, there is no way that I could have obtained them."
"Objection!" Phoenix declared. "It would have been possible for you to wriggle your arm into the cupboard, using the slack in the padlock's chain, and pull the cornflakes out, make yourself breakfast, and then replace the box in the cupboard."
Edgeworth chuckled annoyingly and ruffled his pyjamas. "Implausible, unlikely, and unthinkable. Come now, Wright, this wild hypothesis about getting an arm in there --"
"Entirely possible!" Phoenix snapped. He walked over to the main kitchen cupboard, joggled the doors till the chain on them was as loose as possible, shook his dressing-gown sleeve back from his hand, and slowly worked his hand up inside the cupboard. He wriggled it round till he had his arm in the cupboard up to the elbow, and could feel the edge of the cornflake packet. "There!"
Edgeworth paused. Then he rallied. "Just because you could get your arm in the cupboard does not prove that I could get my arm in the cupboard. Take a sample cupboard. Take this cupboard!" He pointed at the cupboard next to the one which had Phoenix's arm in it. "Now observe. I attempt to get my arm inside, and indeed, with some effort --" His face twisted as he wriggled his hand into the gap at the bottom, "I can indeed get my arm up to the elbow, though it is debatable as to whether I could reach the shelf with the cornflakes on it. Certainly there is no proof that --"
He paused.
"Wright," he said, "I think I'm stuck."
Phoenix repressed an urge to gloat. Another example to show the Wright muscle in action. "Here, let me --" he began, then paused as he tried to get his arm out. "Just a moment . . ."
Several minutes later, Edgeworth sighed. "Wright. Are you stuck too?"
"Temporarily inconvenienced," Phoenix said through gritted teeth. "I'll be out in a moment. Ow!"
"You realise that this shatters your cornflake theft theory," Edgeworth said, as smugly as a man in crimson silk pyjamas with one arm stuck in a cupboard could.
"I'll still manage to turn the case around!" Phoenix declared.
There was a crash inside the cupboard as his thrashing managed to displace a shelf. Cornflakes came sifting down and through the open crack of the cupboard doors, drifting onto his hair and settling on his shoulders.
"Hah!" Edgeworth declared. "Positive evidence that the cornflakes were not eaten!"
"The thief must have replaced them," Phoenix said weakly.
Something in the cupboard behind him fell over with a melancholy boom, like a judge's gavel knocking the not guilty verdict.
Phoenix sighed.