No turning back [Bleach, Gin/Rangiku, PG-13]
You could bend people’s will at your extent, make them suffer and scream through your words alone, turn them submissive with a murmur in their ear.
You understood the art of turning someone’s thoughts into you alone, even when those thoughts weren't pleasant.
Your first and last year at Shin’ou academy was like a summer breeze, too short to be remembered, too warm to be enjoyed.
Your teachers called you a genius, a once in a century prodigal child that could surpass even the legendary Shiba Kaien. Division scouts, who promised you a brighter future in the Gotei 13, have praised your talent and progress.
You’re a boy first and a Gotei 13 shinigami second, and later as officer Ichimaru, the third seat officer at the fifth division, nobody questioned your aptitude.
You answered to Aizen first than to Hirako, and never questioned why.
For you, it’s just a means to constant warm provisions and a sturdy roof over your head. Following the hisses and cold whispers from a forked tongue in your dreams had proved to be prolific, even though you sometimes wondered if you’re just imagining being alive and constantly hungry in Soul Society.
When you graduated at your first year, you knew she was watching from the academy’s high window as the 5th division officer escorted you into the white walls of Seireitei. Probably waved her goodbye, but you never bothered to find out.
In a moment of weakness, you found that leaving was easy, letting the obvious distance growing between you and her was not.
There’s an emblem embroidered inside the folds your shihakushou to prevent you from going back to your hut, a captain to be followed. A mission entrusted by your vice captain, even if it meant ending other people’s lives and listening to the screams in agony as he conducted gory experiments on innocent souls from Rukongai.
Ten years after your graduation, she has another emblem embedded on the inside of her shihakushou. You followed Hirako Shinji on divisional patrol with several new recruits, each one of them older than you scurried after the captain, sulking and suppressing a yawn in the morning sun.
Never in your life in Soul Society that you expected for a familiar, friendly face in this routine. She recognized Hirako and greeted him first, then something in the hollow of your chest thumped when her eyes caught who's standing behind him.
Her round eyes turned round in recognition, her mouth was already forming the beginnings of a greeting, and behind you the fake vice captain’s footsteps slightly slowed. You remembered the research, the stomach churning screams that persisted in your nightmares for weeks, and Tousen Kaname drawing up his mask each night before returning to Muguruma’s squad. Nobody was on your side for now, and you intent to keep it that way.
Without as much as a proper remark, you resorted to a nod, curt and loutish, and forced the edges of your mouth to a leer, walking away. Hirako‘s sharp eyes missed nothing of the affair even when you’re far behind, the way she seemed to shrink under the other’s gaze, or how she winced at your reply, you knew he has it all memorized.
She didn’t give chase or demand an explanation on your aloofness, yet you didn’t show the relief or let out the breathe you realized you’ve been holding. You wondered how long would it take until your resolve breaks and turn back to her, readying your apology.
Saying your goodbye.
“Friend of yours?” Hirako kept his back to you, long blonde hair billowing in the morning breeze, and for a sickening moment it’s a reminder of someone you should never touch again.
Not-Aizen’s eyes flicked to you in doubt, and you managed not to swallow audibly when replying, though it made your skin crawl with disdain. “Just a former classmate, Captain."
You understood the art of turning someone’s thoughts into you alone, even when those thoughts weren't pleasant.
Your first and last year at Shin’ou academy was like a summer breeze, too short to be remembered, too warm to be enjoyed.
Your teachers called you a genius, a once in a century prodigal child that could surpass even the legendary Shiba Kaien. Division scouts, who promised you a brighter future in the Gotei 13, have praised your talent and progress.
You’re a boy first and a Gotei 13 shinigami second, and later as officer Ichimaru, the third seat officer at the fifth division, nobody questioned your aptitude.
You answered to Aizen first than to Hirako, and never questioned why.
For you, it’s just a means to constant warm provisions and a sturdy roof over your head. Following the hisses and cold whispers from a forked tongue in your dreams had proved to be prolific, even though you sometimes wondered if you’re just imagining being alive and constantly hungry in Soul Society.
When you graduated at your first year, you knew she was watching from the academy’s high window as the 5th division officer escorted you into the white walls of Seireitei. Probably waved her goodbye, but you never bothered to find out.
In a moment of weakness, you found that leaving was easy, letting the obvious distance growing between you and her was not.
There’s an emblem embroidered inside the folds your shihakushou to prevent you from going back to your hut, a captain to be followed. A mission entrusted by your vice captain, even if it meant ending other people’s lives and listening to the screams in agony as he conducted gory experiments on innocent souls from Rukongai.
Ten years after your graduation, she has another emblem embedded on the inside of her shihakushou. You followed Hirako Shinji on divisional patrol with several new recruits, each one of them older than you scurried after the captain, sulking and suppressing a yawn in the morning sun.
Never in your life in Soul Society that you expected for a familiar, friendly face in this routine. She recognized Hirako and greeted him first, then something in the hollow of your chest thumped when her eyes caught who's standing behind him.
Her round eyes turned round in recognition, her mouth was already forming the beginnings of a greeting, and behind you the fake vice captain’s footsteps slightly slowed. You remembered the research, the stomach churning screams that persisted in your nightmares for weeks, and Tousen Kaname drawing up his mask each night before returning to Muguruma’s squad. Nobody was on your side for now, and you intent to keep it that way.
Without as much as a proper remark, you resorted to a nod, curt and loutish, and forced the edges of your mouth to a leer, walking away. Hirako‘s sharp eyes missed nothing of the affair even when you’re far behind, the way she seemed to shrink under the other’s gaze, or how she winced at your reply, you knew he has it all memorized.
She didn’t give chase or demand an explanation on your aloofness, yet you didn’t show the relief or let out the breathe you realized you’ve been holding. You wondered how long would it take until your resolve breaks and turn back to her, readying your apology.
Saying your goodbye.
“Friend of yours?” Hirako kept his back to you, long blonde hair billowing in the morning breeze, and for a sickening moment it’s a reminder of someone you should never touch again.
Not-Aizen’s eyes flicked to you in doubt, and you managed not to swallow audibly when replying, though it made your skin crawl with disdain. “Just a former classmate, Captain."