Mom - Waiting

Jun 13, 2006 15:43

Tomorrow, Mom finally has her appointment at Dana Farber.  We will learn if last week's diagnosis of an uncommon and aggressive form of leukemia is correct, and what they will do for treatment.

Yesterday, I got home from work to find that Mom had a very painful afternoon.  The pain comes from her bones, probably from cancerous fibrous tissue growing in her bone marrow and creating extra pressure that can cause intense pain.  At least today has been a good day for her, only a little mild pain a couple of times so far.  She has been able to alternate between sitting and spending some time on her feet.

At least her blood cell and platelet levels aren't falling as quickly now.  She will not need another transfusion for the next few days.

Terrible things are happening, and yet I feel strangely numb.  It's like I can't or won't accept how serious Mom's situation.  I still half expect that when Mom has her appointment tomorrow, they will find that the previous diagnosis was wrong, and that her condition is actually something that is much less dangerous and much more treatable.  Rationally, I don't think that's going to happen.  Emotionally, I can't accept the fact that my mother almost certainly has a life-threatening illness that has only a 50% remission rate even with good treatment, and where the average remission is only for 10 months or so.
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