Lots of confusion.
Been a long time since I updated this. I generally got addicted to World of Warcraft and so all my time on computers has been spent playing that game. When I'm at school, I don't get much time on the computers anymore (I'm in the computer lab right now though, cutting into my lunch break), and my breaks at work are usually spent eating, napping, or generally trying to avoid the computers.
A lot has been going on between my mother and I. She bought two copies of When Parents Love Too Much for me and her, and she just gave it to me yesterday when we went out to lunch. I read some before bed and more during my astronomy lecture, since I fall asleep during lecture anyway. I've gotten through about sixty pages so far. I'm a slow reader. It's part of why I hate textbooks so much, because they're boring and I've never mastered the art of a page a minute speed reading like a lot of college students have.
Work has been extremely chaotic. We switched to a new scheduling program and everything just went to hell and fell apart. I asked to join an honors soceity for psychology but they won't let me drop my shift on Wednesdays. I feel kind of robbed because my education originally was supposed to come first and work was just meant to support my education. Maybe I need a job that realizes I'm a student.
I feel exhausted and I'm really not accomplishing much. It feels like I'm drained. I often wonder if all the anxiousness of life has caught up to me, because I just want to sleep and fry my brain in front of video games. Reminds me of my withdrawl from life during high school summers.
Apparently spring break is next week and I didn't even see it coming. I have missed more of my Friday classes than attended and I am planning on dropping my class on Mon/Wed mornings, though I haven't actually done it yet. I still have to file my taxes and fill out court papers for my father. I'm seeing him tomorrow morning, even though I'm so tired I'd prefer just to sleep in.
I feel selfish and bitter. I don't feel so depressed and helpless as I do out of control. It feels like my life continues to move and I don't have any say in it. John's friend has been living with us for seven weeks now when he was supposed to only be with us for two and John doesn't seem to care about my desire for him to move out. Our time together is cramped by this third person, and instead of his friend being the third wheel, I am. It's a mess.
Anyway, though, aside from all my usual venting and pessimistic view on things, I think life is going fairly tolerably. I shouldn't be so serious about everything. Life needs to be more light and not so much of a chore. I don't know how to make it that way, though. I'm irritated that there is a lecture today about clinical social workers for the honors soceity, and I can't go because work expects me to be there for two and a half hours. What am I doing? I don't want to be a customer service representative. I want to be a therapist. So why am I being drowned in things that have nothing to do with my future? Isn't this the point in life where I can take charge of my future? This just isn't the way I want things to be.
A lot has been going on between my mother and I. She bought two copies of When Parents Love Too Much for me and her, and she just gave it to me yesterday when we went out to lunch. I read some before bed and more during my astronomy lecture, since I fall asleep during lecture anyway. I've gotten through about sixty pages so far. I'm a slow reader. It's part of why I hate textbooks so much, because they're boring and I've never mastered the art of a page a minute speed reading like a lot of college students have.
Work has been extremely chaotic. We switched to a new scheduling program and everything just went to hell and fell apart. I asked to join an honors soceity for psychology but they won't let me drop my shift on Wednesdays. I feel kind of robbed because my education originally was supposed to come first and work was just meant to support my education. Maybe I need a job that realizes I'm a student.
I feel exhausted and I'm really not accomplishing much. It feels like I'm drained. I often wonder if all the anxiousness of life has caught up to me, because I just want to sleep and fry my brain in front of video games. Reminds me of my withdrawl from life during high school summers.
Apparently spring break is next week and I didn't even see it coming. I have missed more of my Friday classes than attended and I am planning on dropping my class on Mon/Wed mornings, though I haven't actually done it yet. I still have to file my taxes and fill out court papers for my father. I'm seeing him tomorrow morning, even though I'm so tired I'd prefer just to sleep in.
I feel selfish and bitter. I don't feel so depressed and helpless as I do out of control. It feels like my life continues to move and I don't have any say in it. John's friend has been living with us for seven weeks now when he was supposed to only be with us for two and John doesn't seem to care about my desire for him to move out. Our time together is cramped by this third person, and instead of his friend being the third wheel, I am. It's a mess.
Anyway, though, aside from all my usual venting and pessimistic view on things, I think life is going fairly tolerably. I shouldn't be so serious about everything. Life needs to be more light and not so much of a chore. I don't know how to make it that way, though. I'm irritated that there is a lecture today about clinical social workers for the honors soceity, and I can't go because work expects me to be there for two and a half hours. What am I doing? I don't want to be a customer service representative. I want to be a therapist. So why am I being drowned in things that have nothing to do with my future? Isn't this the point in life where I can take charge of my future? This just isn't the way I want things to be.