20 Easy Steps to Starting GTA IV on Your PC
I don't have this game yet (or probably wont now that I've read this). But apparently Rockstars PC version of GTA IV runs so bad and takes so long to install that it's worse than say an EA game. The install takes up 16GB of space! Imagine downloading that off Steam ouch.
Also the textures are so big that it makes the game run like a dog. This game is the new Crysis I guess for PC gamers. My friend who has this game has an 8800GTX and gets 30fps at 1280x1024 res with everything on medium! WTF?!
Anyway this list below is taken from a blog where he jokes about the install process.
Step 1: "Tut" loudly as you are forced to agree to be part of the Rockstar Social Club; a Gamespy type program that must be installed before you can install the game.
Step 2: Install the game. It comes on 2 DVDs, taking up 16GB's of space.
Step 3: Growl loudly when asked to make a Microsoft Live account. If you haven't done so, be prepared for an arduous task in itself. Begin to cry.
Step 4: Wipe tears of frustration from eyes. Unclench jaw. Finish installing the game.
Step 5: Start crying again when you realise you must now make a Rockstar Social Club account. Do so while chanting a mantra of harsh words (language choice is optional).
Step 6: Go to email account to find validation code. See no email. Break something within arms reach.
Step 7: Ask website to resubmit code. Eventually find it in the junk folder. Consider offering Satan your soul to end the pain. Click validation link.
Step 8: Choose whether to assign your Xbox, Play Station or PC Microsoft Live account to the Rockstar Social Club. Plot assassination of Microsoft Live creator. Choose account.
Step 9: Attempt to sign into account as requested. Check watch: it's dinner time... but didn't you just eat breakfast?
Step 10: Finally finish creating Rockstar Social Club account. Sigh with wary relief. Start Social Club program.
Step 11: Speak in tongues as the program updates. Make a pot plant spontaneously combust.
Step 12: Rejoice as a big splash page with the word "Play!" appears. Click it with tired optimism.
Step 13: Bash head against keyboard repeatedly after seeing message stating "Please install the new Windows Live Update". Feel the beginnings of an ulcer forming.
Step 14: 22MB later, install update. Rock back in forth in your chair while attempting the "Play" button again.
Step 15: It works! Hooray! ....right? WRONG. Activate the game again by entering the code on your manual. Wait for it to su****iously validate you. Feel slightly violated when it finally gives you the OK and starts the game.
Step 16: Begin to worry when black screen lasts 5 minutes. Alt + tab a few times. Remove fingernails from fingers due to over ambitious biting.
Step 17: Menu words! At last! Proceed to graphics options.
Step 18: Consider hiring Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick Rockstar when they tell you “You can not set the graphics higher as your system lacks resources” when you not only have enough resources, the benchmark test runs crystal smooth.
Step 19: Sigh, write it off as a bug. Begin game. Hooray! GTA IV at last!
Step 20: Game crashes to desktop.
Source
Also the textures are so big that it makes the game run like a dog. This game is the new Crysis I guess for PC gamers. My friend who has this game has an 8800GTX and gets 30fps at 1280x1024 res with everything on medium! WTF?!
Anyway this list below is taken from a blog where he jokes about the install process.
Step 1: "Tut" loudly as you are forced to agree to be part of the Rockstar Social Club; a Gamespy type program that must be installed before you can install the game.
Step 2: Install the game. It comes on 2 DVDs, taking up 16GB's of space.
Step 3: Growl loudly when asked to make a Microsoft Live account. If you haven't done so, be prepared for an arduous task in itself. Begin to cry.
Step 4: Wipe tears of frustration from eyes. Unclench jaw. Finish installing the game.
Step 5: Start crying again when you realise you must now make a Rockstar Social Club account. Do so while chanting a mantra of harsh words (language choice is optional).
Step 6: Go to email account to find validation code. See no email. Break something within arms reach.
Step 7: Ask website to resubmit code. Eventually find it in the junk folder. Consider offering Satan your soul to end the pain. Click validation link.
Step 8: Choose whether to assign your Xbox, Play Station or PC Microsoft Live account to the Rockstar Social Club. Plot assassination of Microsoft Live creator. Choose account.
Step 9: Attempt to sign into account as requested. Check watch: it's dinner time... but didn't you just eat breakfast?
Step 10: Finally finish creating Rockstar Social Club account. Sigh with wary relief. Start Social Club program.
Step 11: Speak in tongues as the program updates. Make a pot plant spontaneously combust.
Step 12: Rejoice as a big splash page with the word "Play!" appears. Click it with tired optimism.
Step 13: Bash head against keyboard repeatedly after seeing message stating "Please install the new Windows Live Update". Feel the beginnings of an ulcer forming.
Step 14: 22MB later, install update. Rock back in forth in your chair while attempting the "Play" button again.
Step 15: It works! Hooray! ....right? WRONG. Activate the game again by entering the code on your manual. Wait for it to su****iously validate you. Feel slightly violated when it finally gives you the OK and starts the game.
Step 16: Begin to worry when black screen lasts 5 minutes. Alt + tab a few times. Remove fingernails from fingers due to over ambitious biting.
Step 17: Menu words! At last! Proceed to graphics options.
Step 18: Consider hiring Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick Rockstar when they tell you “You can not set the graphics higher as your system lacks resources” when you not only have enough resources, the benchmark test runs crystal smooth.
Step 19: Sigh, write it off as a bug. Begin game. Hooray! GTA IV at last!
Step 20: Game crashes to desktop.
Source