Nutty day
First of all, I just found out that my dad's dad is still alive. My dad had not seen him in 30 years, and before that time it was 15 years, or something like that, and he and his brother and sister all thought their dad was dead. My aunt found him online or something, he's 81 and living in New Hampshire with all these health problems. He was generally an abusive dead-beat asshole. My uncle and his wife went to see him last night. They invited my dad, but he said, "yeah, just thank him for being there this whole time," or something like that, and declined. I don't blame him. He has a lot of mixed feelings about whether or not he should go see him.
I was up all night working on this six by six foot drawing for my class. when the sun came up I took it out side to work on it and found it was way nice out. I guess it was still cold, because the water in the ink and paint froze. I folded it up (it was on cardboard panels) and at the end of class I went to show it and of course was stuck together and ruined. It was the best thing I had done for that class, too. I started to doubt myself as an artist, because that class is Portraiture: an Abstract Approach, and I really wanted to do well in it, but nothing I've done has been very good. Not that it has to be "good", you just have to open up and experiment with expression and everything, but I haven't been wholly successful.
In the beginning of that class we went to see these two Tibetan Buddhist monks who are going to be making a sand mandala at MassArt this week. This was their first day, and one of them spoke for about an hour about general Buddhist thought and everything. I had read stuff about it before, but he made it much easier to understand. It was precious.
Then I drank some coffee outside of J.P. Licks where I ran into Greta, then I hung out with Cat, then I did some homework in the computer thing. On the way home I found 3 cool black boxes and some old children's book called New Goops and How to Know Them. I haven't opened it yet.
1. What was your high school experience like? Well, they once told me that I had missed over a third of my classes for all of junior year, and in my whole high school career I had been late or absent way more than half the days. So I basically hated it. Everyone in my school was nice, there wern't too many people I downright hated, and no one was cliquey or anything, but I hated being there. In senior yeah I spent my studies in the guidance counselor's office everyday so she could make sure I did my homework and talk to me about family life, which was uncommon by Norwell standards, as we were the only people in town who didn't have a car at that point. I could go on like this. Basically, I wish I acted like more of a freakish idiot and caused more problems for the administration. And that I had taken an art class at least once. I failed classes left and right, of course, and everyone thought I was a stoner though I had not smoked pot until almost a year after dropping out of my first college. When I was a freshman I wore fishnet shirts a lot. Okay, next question before I start talking about Chris Rossi...
2. Is there anything you consider to be your "calling", and if so, what? I'd say to be an artist, but I'd have to define my terms, and I'm feeling down on my abilities today. Maybe I haven't found my voice yet, or I need motivation. I just hope I can, you know, express myself and make things look nice. Maybe say something about society. That's tertiary for me, really.
3. How would you describe your religious/spiritual beliefs? I usually avoid talking about this, because it's hard for me to define it for myself, and I have so much trouble explaining it to people. On my Facebook page next to "religious views" it says "way over your head", if that tells you anything. Basically I think that anything spiritual is kind of a Jungian expression of something internal. I love Brigid and her whole portfolio of things she represents. Certainly who I look toward for that kind of spiritual guidance, but like I said, I think she's just an embodiment of a thing that exists in human thought. I really don't have the vocabulary for this, but it makes sense for me. I've seen her in dreams. She's usually cute and young and dressed comfortably, or a kindly old art teacher. I have also astrally projected, and it's been interesting. I kind of avoid talking about that for similar reasons, and it's very personal and so many people have rolled their eyes at me for talking about it. So yeah, I would describe my religious/spiritual beliefs as quite personal. I could go on. I sure do love writing about myself tonight...
4. If you were to place a personals ad in the paper, what would it say? I read in a book that Alison lent me that someone put an ad in the paper that simply said "It's not too late to send $1 to (an address)", and many people responded because of how it was worded. I guess you mean a dating kinda ad, it would probably describe some so specific that no one would ever fit it, but I'd do it just to see if there's a girl out there who loves fashion photography though is a Marxist Feminist, loves Christian Death, did Irish step dancing as a lass, owns a killing jar, doesn't think pig tails are silly, thinks the idea of a sentient fungus is "really awesome"... Yeah, it would just go on like that...
5. What are the things that mean the most to you? I have always avoided thinking about this. Maybe it's because the things that are most important to me aren't the things that are most importand to a normal person. Maybe I don't want to admit what things are most important to me to my own self. Maybe by saying what they are they'd somehow feel less personal. Or maybe I just don't want to sound weepsky on this one particular thing. I think it would be the only thing...
I was up all night working on this six by six foot drawing for my class. when the sun came up I took it out side to work on it and found it was way nice out. I guess it was still cold, because the water in the ink and paint froze. I folded it up (it was on cardboard panels) and at the end of class I went to show it and of course was stuck together and ruined. It was the best thing I had done for that class, too. I started to doubt myself as an artist, because that class is Portraiture: an Abstract Approach, and I really wanted to do well in it, but nothing I've done has been very good. Not that it has to be "good", you just have to open up and experiment with expression and everything, but I haven't been wholly successful.
In the beginning of that class we went to see these two Tibetan Buddhist monks who are going to be making a sand mandala at MassArt this week. This was their first day, and one of them spoke for about an hour about general Buddhist thought and everything. I had read stuff about it before, but he made it much easier to understand. It was precious.
Then I drank some coffee outside of J.P. Licks where I ran into Greta, then I hung out with Cat, then I did some homework in the computer thing. On the way home I found 3 cool black boxes and some old children's book called New Goops and How to Know Them. I haven't opened it yet.
1. What was your high school experience like? Well, they once told me that I had missed over a third of my classes for all of junior year, and in my whole high school career I had been late or absent way more than half the days. So I basically hated it. Everyone in my school was nice, there wern't too many people I downright hated, and no one was cliquey or anything, but I hated being there. In senior yeah I spent my studies in the guidance counselor's office everyday so she could make sure I did my homework and talk to me about family life, which was uncommon by Norwell standards, as we were the only people in town who didn't have a car at that point. I could go on like this. Basically, I wish I acted like more of a freakish idiot and caused more problems for the administration. And that I had taken an art class at least once. I failed classes left and right, of course, and everyone thought I was a stoner though I had not smoked pot until almost a year after dropping out of my first college. When I was a freshman I wore fishnet shirts a lot. Okay, next question before I start talking about Chris Rossi...
2. Is there anything you consider to be your "calling", and if so, what? I'd say to be an artist, but I'd have to define my terms, and I'm feeling down on my abilities today. Maybe I haven't found my voice yet, or I need motivation. I just hope I can, you know, express myself and make things look nice. Maybe say something about society. That's tertiary for me, really.
3. How would you describe your religious/spiritual beliefs? I usually avoid talking about this, because it's hard for me to define it for myself, and I have so much trouble explaining it to people. On my Facebook page next to "religious views" it says "way over your head", if that tells you anything. Basically I think that anything spiritual is kind of a Jungian expression of something internal. I love Brigid and her whole portfolio of things she represents. Certainly who I look toward for that kind of spiritual guidance, but like I said, I think she's just an embodiment of a thing that exists in human thought. I really don't have the vocabulary for this, but it makes sense for me. I've seen her in dreams. She's usually cute and young and dressed comfortably, or a kindly old art teacher. I have also astrally projected, and it's been interesting. I kind of avoid talking about that for similar reasons, and it's very personal and so many people have rolled their eyes at me for talking about it. So yeah, I would describe my religious/spiritual beliefs as quite personal. I could go on. I sure do love writing about myself tonight...
4. If you were to place a personals ad in the paper, what would it say? I read in a book that Alison lent me that someone put an ad in the paper that simply said "It's not too late to send $1 to (an address)", and many people responded because of how it was worded. I guess you mean a dating kinda ad, it would probably describe some so specific that no one would ever fit it, but I'd do it just to see if there's a girl out there who loves fashion photography though is a Marxist Feminist, loves Christian Death, did Irish step dancing as a lass, owns a killing jar, doesn't think pig tails are silly, thinks the idea of a sentient fungus is "really awesome"... Yeah, it would just go on like that...
5. What are the things that mean the most to you? I have always avoided thinking about this. Maybe it's because the things that are most important to me aren't the things that are most importand to a normal person. Maybe I don't want to admit what things are most important to me to my own self. Maybe by saying what they are they'd somehow feel less personal. Or maybe I just don't want to sound weepsky on this one particular thing. I think it would be the only thing...