frustration...10:53pm
so when someone gets frustrated, and there isnt anyone around to help them rationalize, what usually happens?
i think normal people might try to find someone to talk to, yell into a pillow, write in a journal, or yell at the nearest person...
I either get tattooed, pierced, or alter something on my body...including my hair....
so yeah. i go around finding some clippers in the barracks, not a good sign...
i love my hair, i love the highlights, the length, the fade, everything about it, except today i dont look the same. I need a change. So what do i do??
hmmm. ::looking up::
i shave it off.
Now we are NOT talking about bald, or scalp showing here, we are talking about a semicertifiable Mohawk...
(Thanks Aly) but nonetheless a mohawk. now one cannot tell from behind, or in front when my hair is gelled down...but its there...a very noticable cut.
now im kinda a chicken cause im in the dark, playing with it, scared to go to work tomorrow cause i know im not supposed to have it. I just get so frustrated at everything. Now i dont wanna finish the job.
I wonder if i can get away with this.? hmmm
::more contemplating thoughts::
While i was cutting my hair, my life, well the next 58 days flashed before my eyes...
it was very uneventful, and i could see myself very unhappy, fat, and feminine. UGH! (with shaved head i might add) Where does all this come from...
maybe ive lost my brain somewhere in the trashcan along with the huge 2 inch chunks of hair!!!!
wow...im looking and seeing this, its not real. No real mohawk, no real face, no real Marine, no real ME.
What have i accomplished by doing this act? (asking self)
limp, lifeless mess
you can dye it, cut it, perm it, add to it, style it, wash it,
dirty it, parasite it, smell it, brush it, play with it, pull it out,
let it grow...
but where does it come from one might ask? Whats its purpose?
It seems to be the victim of time. Everyday it grows without reason.
Without purpose. We change it in everyway possible, and in anyway
we please. Only because its one thing we know we can control, change
and watch grow. Its a visible Story. Everyday different, to our choosing.
My life is so uninteresting, i obsess over hair. Is there a way that i can
find something else important enough to worry about everyday. that i can
physically see everyday, when i wake up, when i shower, when i get ready in
the morning, brushing teeth, only to come home to wind down get ready for bed,
and start all over again?
Not here...not in Okinawa. Living alone, only 'person' around is me. i see
myself change everyday...my hair being my escape. its never permanent, but still
a visible and everlasting mind altering moment in 'MY' time.
Ok i think i cut it all off now...im so chicken.
i think normal people might try to find someone to talk to, yell into a pillow, write in a journal, or yell at the nearest person...
I either get tattooed, pierced, or alter something on my body...including my hair....
so yeah. i go around finding some clippers in the barracks, not a good sign...
i love my hair, i love the highlights, the length, the fade, everything about it, except today i dont look the same. I need a change. So what do i do??
hmmm. ::looking up::
i shave it off.
Now we are NOT talking about bald, or scalp showing here, we are talking about a semicertifiable Mohawk...
(Thanks Aly) but nonetheless a mohawk. now one cannot tell from behind, or in front when my hair is gelled down...but its there...a very noticable cut.
now im kinda a chicken cause im in the dark, playing with it, scared to go to work tomorrow cause i know im not supposed to have it. I just get so frustrated at everything. Now i dont wanna finish the job.
I wonder if i can get away with this.? hmmm
::more contemplating thoughts::
While i was cutting my hair, my life, well the next 58 days flashed before my eyes...
it was very uneventful, and i could see myself very unhappy, fat, and feminine. UGH! (with shaved head i might add) Where does all this come from...
maybe ive lost my brain somewhere in the trashcan along with the huge 2 inch chunks of hair!!!!
wow...im looking and seeing this, its not real. No real mohawk, no real face, no real Marine, no real ME.
What have i accomplished by doing this act? (asking self)
limp, lifeless mess
you can dye it, cut it, perm it, add to it, style it, wash it,
dirty it, parasite it, smell it, brush it, play with it, pull it out,
let it grow...
but where does it come from one might ask? Whats its purpose?
It seems to be the victim of time. Everyday it grows without reason.
Without purpose. We change it in everyway possible, and in anyway
we please. Only because its one thing we know we can control, change
and watch grow. Its a visible Story. Everyday different, to our choosing.
My life is so uninteresting, i obsess over hair. Is there a way that i can
find something else important enough to worry about everyday. that i can
physically see everyday, when i wake up, when i shower, when i get ready in
the morning, brushing teeth, only to come home to wind down get ready for bed,
and start all over again?
Not here...not in Okinawa. Living alone, only 'person' around is me. i see
myself change everyday...my hair being my escape. its never permanent, but still
a visible and everlasting mind altering moment in 'MY' time.
Ok i think i cut it all off now...im so chicken.