Fillin' up dem tubes
Here's your week on the interweb:
Politics
I’m still working on a nickname: Train-Wreck. Queen Hubris. The Dragon Lady. There are so many. For right now, I’ll continue calling her the Bush/Cheney 2000 FL Campaign Manager & Twunt In Charge of Florida’s 2000 Elections.
Anyway, Katherine Harris’ campaign is going so swell that the Washington Post felt the urge to remind people that three months ago the Florida Republican Party told Harris they wouldn’t support her US Senate race because she wouldn’t win. In a statement yesterday, Harris called the letter "old news" and said that party chairman, Carole Jean Jordan, had never expressed concerns about her campaign. In her own statement yesterday, Jordan said, "Uh, read the letter you dense twunt. We said you were fucked, and you still are."
In the same article, apparently there’s some hub-bub about MA Gov. Mitt Romney (R) referring to the Big Dig as a “tar baby”. A Romney spokesman told the news agency that the governor was "unaware that some people find the term objectionable and he's sorry if anyone's offended." He will now use the more politically correct “Porch Monkey”.
Back to Harris: the Republican-leaning Tampa Tribune scooped the Times (aw snap!) this morning. Harris concealed a grand jury subpoena from top campaign advisers hired to help her deflect negative publicity. "Finding out about the subpoena caused me to wonder about what was going on and what else I didn't know" said Glenn Hodas, Harris' third and most recent campaign manager. The article does emphasize that the subpoena doesn't mean she's actually potentially guilty for breaking any law. Just that she's lying so much to her own staff, that they're jumping faster than the Titanic. For those keeping score, she's currently working on chief-of-staff number five.
Big Scoop. The Pentagon lied to the 9/11 commission. “Maj. Gen. Larry Arnold and Col. Alan Scott told the commission that NORAD had begun tracking United 93 at 9:16 a.m., but the commission determined that the airliner was not hijacked until 12 minutes later. The military was not aware of the flight until after it had crashed in Pennsylvania.” I guess the panel “debated referring the matter to the Justice Department for criminal investigation“ but opted to pass a note to the inspectors general of the Transportation and Defense depts. Better idea: let’s conduct the next investigation of Maj. Gen. Arnold and Col. Scott at GITMO.
Hollywood
I don’t get. I just don’t get the fucking obsession. People so engrossed over a fucking baby, that they’ll flock to stare at a wax dummy of it. It's a stranger's baby! I hope the next picture someone takes of it is while the kid's being cornholed by Michael Jackson.
Poor Mel. Seriously. I feel bad for the guy. Okay, that said, this is still funny.
And in Mel’s defense, the Daily Show slapped the media’s manipulative methods (my alliteration, thank you) of covering irrelevant shit like Mel Gibson’s recent DUI.
In case you didn’t know
All your snakes are belong to us. Motherfucker.
And of course, the most important link in the world:
Politics
I’m still working on a nickname: Train-Wreck. Queen Hubris. The Dragon Lady. There are so many. For right now, I’ll continue calling her the Bush/Cheney 2000 FL Campaign Manager & Twunt In Charge of Florida’s 2000 Elections.
Anyway, Katherine Harris’ campaign is going so swell that the Washington Post felt the urge to remind people that three months ago the Florida Republican Party told Harris they wouldn’t support her US Senate race because she wouldn’t win. In a statement yesterday, Harris called the letter "old news" and said that party chairman, Carole Jean Jordan, had never expressed concerns about her campaign. In her own statement yesterday, Jordan said, "Uh, read the letter you dense twunt. We said you were fucked, and you still are."
In the same article, apparently there’s some hub-bub about MA Gov. Mitt Romney (R) referring to the Big Dig as a “tar baby”. A Romney spokesman told the news agency that the governor was "unaware that some people find the term objectionable and he's sorry if anyone's offended." He will now use the more politically correct “Porch Monkey”.
Back to Harris: the Republican-leaning Tampa Tribune scooped the Times (aw snap!) this morning. Harris concealed a grand jury subpoena from top campaign advisers hired to help her deflect negative publicity. "Finding out about the subpoena caused me to wonder about what was going on and what else I didn't know" said Glenn Hodas, Harris' third and most recent campaign manager. The article does emphasize that the subpoena doesn't mean she's actually potentially guilty for breaking any law. Just that she's lying so much to her own staff, that they're jumping faster than the Titanic. For those keeping score, she's currently working on chief-of-staff number five.
Big Scoop. The Pentagon lied to the 9/11 commission. “Maj. Gen. Larry Arnold and Col. Alan Scott told the commission that NORAD had begun tracking United 93 at 9:16 a.m., but the commission determined that the airliner was not hijacked until 12 minutes later. The military was not aware of the flight until after it had crashed in Pennsylvania.” I guess the panel “debated referring the matter to the Justice Department for criminal investigation“ but opted to pass a note to the inspectors general of the Transportation and Defense depts. Better idea: let’s conduct the next investigation of Maj. Gen. Arnold and Col. Scott at GITMO.
Hollywood
I don’t get. I just don’t get the fucking obsession. People so engrossed over a fucking baby, that they’ll flock to stare at a wax dummy of it. It's a stranger's baby! I hope the next picture someone takes of it is while the kid's being cornholed by Michael Jackson.
Poor Mel. Seriously. I feel bad for the guy. Okay, that said, this is still funny.
And in Mel’s defense, the Daily Show slapped the media’s manipulative methods (my alliteration, thank you) of covering irrelevant shit like Mel Gibson’s recent DUI.
In case you didn’t know
All your snakes are belong to us. Motherfucker.
And of course, the most important link in the world: