love makes you do crazy things

[spotty_dog]

feeling like ive just been dumped or something, jim just went home and i lost it a bit. this weekend just didnt go how i imagined it and i( as usual) pissed people off and messed things up. and i cried for about an hour, my eyes are sore. maybe i do need some proper help before i fuck everything up. im worried jim is going off me, he gets fucked off when i say stuff like that but i cant help it. its easy getting over a break up when you find a person you really love(in my case jim) but the way things ended fucks you up big time. story time: i left his(my exs) house and apoligsed for my stupid behavior he said no worries, luv you, later, i went shopping and called when i got home,no answer(for hours) finally caught up on msn and he broke up with me.having someone tell you that everything is fine and then dumping you later that day is fucked up. i know jim isnt going to do that but he still could, does that make sense?? my ex didnt show me much attention, well only when he wanted to, i get scared when jim doesnt want to talk to me coz hes busy or something and i start to freak out, which pisses him off, im trying to get out of this cycle and cant.its fucked up, wot it makes me lose jim, the best thing to happen to me? i feel espcially down at the mo becuase hes just gone home and it really really hurts, just need him to tell me its going to be ok and mean it. no one understands wot its like to live 200 miles from the person you love.
ive acted like such a twat today, im so sorry jim, i love you so much.
xxx