Like a whale emerging from the ocean, you don't know it's there until it's right in front of you
Today was my first day going back to school at Vanguard University. Last semester I had decided that I was never going to go back and that I was going to find some other school to go to so that I could finish the rest of my education. As you can see from the leading statement of this entry, things didn't exactly go according to plan. I'm back at Vanguard and so is my ex-love interest that I was dating for a good portion of last year. Everything started during Thanksgiving break and ended only a few months later. Today I saw her and I was extremely and sadly surprised to find out that feelings flared up when I saw her today.
I am just so frustrated that after a whole summer of not seeing this girl, and not thinking about her more than once a week that I still somehow still have feelings for her, however minimal they might be. She has a boyfriend, so i know nothing could realistically ever happen, but somehow deep inside I keep hoping that we can be together someday. I always hear negative feedback about her, like that she's dumb, or that she's a bitch, which perhaps maybe she can be sometimes, but I've never known her to be any of the things I just described. Perhaps my love for the girl blinded my usually sharp perceptions of people, and trust me, I was in love. Maybe that's why I still had a flare up of feelings today, maybe when you love someone it takes a really long time to go away, or perhaps it never really goes away at all.
I went into music camp confident, making bets with a friend jokingly, but hopefully that I could hook up with a new girl before he did. My confidence slowly withered as the day went on...
I'll continue this later, summer is definitely over when I can't write more than this before I have to move on to other things.
I am just so frustrated that after a whole summer of not seeing this girl, and not thinking about her more than once a week that I still somehow still have feelings for her, however minimal they might be. She has a boyfriend, so i know nothing could realistically ever happen, but somehow deep inside I keep hoping that we can be together someday. I always hear negative feedback about her, like that she's dumb, or that she's a bitch, which perhaps maybe she can be sometimes, but I've never known her to be any of the things I just described. Perhaps my love for the girl blinded my usually sharp perceptions of people, and trust me, I was in love. Maybe that's why I still had a flare up of feelings today, maybe when you love someone it takes a really long time to go away, or perhaps it never really goes away at all.
I went into music camp confident, making bets with a friend jokingly, but hopefully that I could hook up with a new girl before he did. My confidence slowly withered as the day went on...
I'll continue this later, summer is definitely over when I can't write more than this before I have to move on to other things.