i was told i was beautiful, but what does that mean to you?
i hate how self concious i am. i hate how low my self esteem is. i wish i could just change everything that bugged me and be fine again. i feel like the ugliest thing to roam the earth. i talked to my mom about everything and anything. i literally told her everything i hated about me and what was bugging me in life. i was thinking so much today. i cant escape the insults from anyone. no one knows how much it hurts to be called "skinny". its like being called fat. theres really no difference. it still makes you feel like shit. people who tell me they want to be tall like me...no, you dont really. i hate being tall. so much really. i can never find guys taller than me and when i do its like OMGZ YOUR A GOD.
okay i have to stop feeling sorry for myself and making the people who are reading this feel sorry for me.
so to you, reader, i apologize.
f i r s t s
First car: havent gotten one yet
First real kiss: it didnt mean anything so it wasnt real
First break-up: mat lmfao
First screen name: sweetieq841
First self purchased album: backstreet boys
First funeral: my grandpa
First pets: keke
First piercing/tattoo: hasnt happened yet
First credit card: dont have one
First enemy: this britany girl that used to live on my street
l a s t s
Last car ride: going out to the movies with brett and lindsay
Last kiss: like 2 years ago
Last good cry: today
Last library book checked out: i have no idea
Last movie seen: saw 2 T_T
Last beverage drank: gatorade. you know me and my gatorade :D
Last food consumed: munch ems
Last crush: :X theres 2.
Last phone call: lindsay
Last time showered: yesterday
Last shoes worn: black slip ons
Last item bought: wedding crashers along with a necklace
Last annoyance: myself lol
Last time wanting to die: yesterday
f a s h i o n | s t u f f
Where is your favorite place to shop? wet seal
Any tattoos or piercings? no
What kind of shampoo do you use? head and shoulders
What are you most scared of? death and needles
What are you listening to right now? unpretty - TLC
How many buddies are online right now? 36
What would you change about yourself? thinness, definatly
f a v o r i t e s
Color: pink and lime green
Food: chicken
Boys' names: sean, seth, aaron, and josh
Girls' names: danielle, juliet, nicole, and lexi
Subjects in school: actings over for the year, but i still love it
Animals: cats
Sports: eh
Perfume: love spell
Cologne: axe
h a v e | y o u | e v e r
Given anyone a bath? yeah
Bungee jumped? nope
Made yourself throw up? no
Skinny dipped? no
Ever been in love? yes
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? when i was little lol
Actually seen your crush naked? no
Cried when someone died? of course
Lied? yeah
Fallen for your best friend? yeah :\ bad idea
Been rejected? all the time
Rejected someone? yup
Used someone? no. thats not right
Done something you regret? just recently actually!
c u r r e n t
Clothes: black sweats, black tank top, and black hoodie. im so gothic
Music: did you not just ask me this not too long ago?
Make-up: none anymore
Smell: nothing lol
Desktop picture: random background
CD in player: the used
DVD in player: family guy
Color of toenails: natural now lol
l a s t | p e r s o n
You touched: myself
Hugged: my mom
You imed: catie
IMed you: caitlin
You kissed: pft idk
Cuddled with: :\ no one
a r e | y o u
Understanding: when i actually understand lol
Open-minded: very
Arrogant: idk
Insecure: duh
Interesting: always :D
Hungry: yes
Smart: sorta
Moody: yeah
Hardworking: sometimes
Organized: mostly
Shy: only around people i dont know
Attractive: i'll get back to you on that
Bored easily: yes
Responsible: yeah
Obsessive: nope
Angry: not now
Sad: yeah :[
Happy: not now
Hyper: not now
Trusting: it takes a while
Talkative: only around people i know and like
w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a
Kill: no one
Slap: no one
Look like: idk
Talk to offline: some people
Talk to online: some people
w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r
Coke or Pepsi: pepsi
Flowers or Candy: flowers
Tall or Short: tall
r a n d o m
In the morning I am: tired
All you need is: love
Love is: complicating and usually results in heartbreak
Last person you danced with: lindsay
Worst question to ask: "why does your face look like that?"
Worst statement: i have no idea.
Who makes you laugh the most: brett
Who makes you smile: everyone
Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: well...
Who has a crush on you: no one that i know of
d o | y o u | e v e r
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: yeah
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: no
Wish you were younger: yes
n u m b e r
Of times I have had my heart broken: 12
Of hearts I have broken: i have no idea
Of guys I've kissed: 2
Of girls I've kissed: 0
Of continents I have lived on: 1
Of tight friends: 8
Of CDs I own: over 90