Today I joined the army
However, by "joined the army" I mean "masturbated to 'The Incredibles' DVD menu."
You should know I live in a giant bucket that once held fried chicken. Sometimes I shoot at people using a Super Scope I modified to shoot crazy energy like in Super Smash Bros. Melee. However, just because I live in a fried chicken bucket doesn't mean I'm poor. It means I'm saluting the Colonel. Not for any chicken related reason. I don't eat chicken. Rather, for reasons so fantastic that they would make a person playing Operation jump and touch the side of the metal triggering a harsh buzzing noise to emit from the patient.
Anyway, Jamal came over today. He earns his living as a token black guy. He's played the first victim in eight horror movies, had a seat as the only non-white person in three separate country clubs, and is a rappist (his phrase, not mine). Naturally he's drawn to my chicken bucket abode. When he learned of my plans to join the army his rebuttal came in as a swift and elegant "AWW, HELL NAW!!" He often finds himself quoting Will Smith from various venues. Not for any particular reason. After explaining to him the meaning of "joining the army" he said "WELCOME TA ERF!" I took that as a compliment.
Jamal and I have always had a desire to understand life's great mysteries. We once learned the sound of one hand clapping by forcing an amputee to play "Donkey Konga 2." Today we decided to learn whether or not god could make a boulder so big he himself could not lift it. We contacted God through the lead singer of The Cure and challenged him. I bet that he couldn't make a boulder so big he couldn't lift it. He accepted, adding, however, that if he could build a boulder so big he couldn't lift it I'd have to give him my copy of Starfox 64 autographed by Corey Haim. I reluctantly accepted, for the good of mankind, praying I wouldn't lose. I mean, COREY HAIM IS DREAMY <3<3<3
So could he do it? Yes and no. He certainly got the boulder up there, however, it crushed him. Technically he couldn't make a boulder too big, but then he just sort of crapped out himself. Either way, I got to keep my copy of Starfox 64, and Jamal and I went home and watched Corey Haim's video diary (http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/251.html)!!
Jamal cleverly remarked "DO A BARREL RO'"
You should know I live in a giant bucket that once held fried chicken. Sometimes I shoot at people using a Super Scope I modified to shoot crazy energy like in Super Smash Bros. Melee. However, just because I live in a fried chicken bucket doesn't mean I'm poor. It means I'm saluting the Colonel. Not for any chicken related reason. I don't eat chicken. Rather, for reasons so fantastic that they would make a person playing Operation jump and touch the side of the metal triggering a harsh buzzing noise to emit from the patient.
Anyway, Jamal came over today. He earns his living as a token black guy. He's played the first victim in eight horror movies, had a seat as the only non-white person in three separate country clubs, and is a rappist (his phrase, not mine). Naturally he's drawn to my chicken bucket abode. When he learned of my plans to join the army his rebuttal came in as a swift and elegant "AWW, HELL NAW!!" He often finds himself quoting Will Smith from various venues. Not for any particular reason. After explaining to him the meaning of "joining the army" he said "WELCOME TA ERF!" I took that as a compliment.
Jamal and I have always had a desire to understand life's great mysteries. We once learned the sound of one hand clapping by forcing an amputee to play "Donkey Konga 2." Today we decided to learn whether or not god could make a boulder so big he himself could not lift it. We contacted God through the lead singer of The Cure and challenged him. I bet that he couldn't make a boulder so big he couldn't lift it. He accepted, adding, however, that if he could build a boulder so big he couldn't lift it I'd have to give him my copy of Starfox 64 autographed by Corey Haim. I reluctantly accepted, for the good of mankind, praying I wouldn't lose. I mean, COREY HAIM IS DREAMY <3<3<3
So could he do it? Yes and no. He certainly got the boulder up there, however, it crushed him. Technically he couldn't make a boulder too big, but then he just sort of crapped out himself. Either way, I got to keep my copy of Starfox 64, and Jamal and I went home and watched Corey Haim's video diary (http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/251.html)!!
Jamal cleverly remarked "DO A BARREL RO'"