(no subject)

Jul 28, 2009 11:35

I've made a habit out of sitting in my chair, one of the few pieces of furniture I have filling the void in this space I rent, sitting here and watching each car turn the corner. For a split second, there is a flicker of hope that it might be you. It never is. There was also a lot that never was, whether or not I believed.

I'm only nineteen and already I've lost my way. All I really have for sure is a strong intuition for my core self. I think about so much, perhaps too much at times, but some things I just know. I trust my personal cardinal directions to guide me, but sometimes the chaos in my life is louder. It's only a matter of time before it's quiet again and I remember to listen to my own voice. Maybe we all lose ourselves from time to time. Maybe the truth lies in the aftermath of such falls. Maybe the only thing genuine is how we pick ourselves up and piece the world back together.

It's vital to believe that as individuals, we can do such a thing. Piecing the world back together sounds incredible, but is it really? Ghandi tells us to be the change we wish to see in the world. The world tells us we are powerless to do so. Or at least, in reality, it sure as shit feels that way. Most people get by on the little things that give them joy. New phones, changing hair colors to match trendy purses or brand new Jordans. It could be finally listening to the third track of the album you've been waiting for, or maybe if you're like me, it's the moment after hearing it, when you finally feel like you aren't alone. We may get by on the little things in life, but we are meant for so much more. There are always two roads. What is hard and what is easy. The risk or what's safe. Other things fall into place along one side or the other. Like the things worth doing and everything else that's a waste of time, or perhaps I could even be so bold as to say it's the difference between love or neutrality. Hate is a mirage.

And then there are the dreamers. The idealists. The people who stretch humanity beyond what we have become. There are dreamers in every industry. They are the artists, sculpting change to mirror their thoughts. The dreamers do not live in fear, but instead, they challenge it. Sometimes, being awake in the real would seems suffocating, even unworthy of the gifts you have to offer. But the children are worth it. The generations to come deserve the dreamers and the dreamers will help them think for themselves.

There are countless things I could do with my life, but all I know for sure it that I will write while I do them. These are just thoughts, but it's a start.
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