Don't drink Pepsi unless you want to get pregnant.
I had a bunch of weird dreams last night. I think they’re all connected, too, but I’m starting to lose them from my memory and everything is getting fuzzier so I’m writing them down now so I don’t totally forget. I don’t remember how it started off, but at some point I was really upset that I drank a whole pepsi because it has like 200 calories. My parents were like “Come on, Brittney, we’ll take you to the hospital” and I was FREAKING out because I thought they were taking me to a mental hospital because I got upset over a pepsi. But we got to this normal hospital and they brought me up to this room and told the nurse something and left. The nurse came over and asked me if I wanted an epideral, and I was like “What the hell for? I just drank a pepsi!” and she was like “Of course you did. *laugh* That’s why you’re here! and you’re definitely going to want one if you don’t want to feel much pain.” and I was like “PAIN FROM WHAT?” and she patted my stomach and when I looked down I was SO. PREGNANT.
So then I went into labor and that was all a blur and I’m glad my dreams censor such things out. The next thing I knew I was holding this adorable little boy, and my parents were really proud of me even though I’m still young and in real life they’d have a fit. But I was just, really happy in the dream. Then I realized that I’d been weighing myself this whole time when I was PREGNANT and so when I went to go weigh myself regularly i had lost 30 pounds and HALLELUJAH. We left after that, and I was trying to figure out names for my baby the entire way home. But we didn’t go home, we went to my grandfather’s house in Vermont. I got really upset really quickly here, because Blair kept on taking my son from me and this is definitely more like a flashback to when my brother was born. She was always like that, always hogging Elton and wanting to feed and change him and all those things. I used to get so jealous and upset, because it was my little brother and I wanted to do those things. Anyway, so she kept taking my son who I eventually named Elijah.
So during one part when she had Elijah, I went down in the basement to play the piano. While I was down there I heard all sorts of noise coming from the workshop part of the basement that always scared me when I was a kid. But I decided to check it out, and when I went in there it was this huge room and all these big guys were sitting around a table discussing things. My grandfather was holding a MAFIA meeting. I snuck in further, and when I did I knocked over a bucket and tried to hide behind an old ironing board. This big dude came over and pulled me out from behind it, and I told him I was really sorry, I had just heard noises and had come to investigate and oh, look at that, I think I hear my son crying. The guy who had looked really pissed and about to kill me was like “Oh, you’re Bill’s grandaughter. The one who just had a baby?” and I was like “yeaaaah, that’s me.” and he was like “Oh! Well go get the little rascal, we wanna see him.” and my grandfather came in at this point looking really confused. The guy said I was going to get Elijah, and that I was such a nice girl and my grandfather should be proud that his children had such nice children. Was weird.
So I went upstairs to get Elijah from Blair, only Blair wouldn’t GIVE ME HIM. I got really upset again and went back downstairs to tell them I was sorry and I couldn’t bring him down. They asked me why, and I told him that Blair was a hog and there wasn’t anything I could do. But my grandfather marched up those stairs and started going OFF on Blair (I’ve seen this happen once in real life and it is NOT pretty when he goes off. Good god it’s not.) and so Blair gave me Elijah and I went downstairs to show the nice mafia guys my cute little son.
The end.
So then I went into labor and that was all a blur and I’m glad my dreams censor such things out. The next thing I knew I was holding this adorable little boy, and my parents were really proud of me even though I’m still young and in real life they’d have a fit. But I was just, really happy in the dream. Then I realized that I’d been weighing myself this whole time when I was PREGNANT and so when I went to go weigh myself regularly i had lost 30 pounds and HALLELUJAH. We left after that, and I was trying to figure out names for my baby the entire way home. But we didn’t go home, we went to my grandfather’s house in Vermont. I got really upset really quickly here, because Blair kept on taking my son from me and this is definitely more like a flashback to when my brother was born. She was always like that, always hogging Elton and wanting to feed and change him and all those things. I used to get so jealous and upset, because it was my little brother and I wanted to do those things. Anyway, so she kept taking my son who I eventually named Elijah.
So during one part when she had Elijah, I went down in the basement to play the piano. While I was down there I heard all sorts of noise coming from the workshop part of the basement that always scared me when I was a kid. But I decided to check it out, and when I went in there it was this huge room and all these big guys were sitting around a table discussing things. My grandfather was holding a MAFIA meeting. I snuck in further, and when I did I knocked over a bucket and tried to hide behind an old ironing board. This big dude came over and pulled me out from behind it, and I told him I was really sorry, I had just heard noises and had come to investigate and oh, look at that, I think I hear my son crying. The guy who had looked really pissed and about to kill me was like “Oh, you’re Bill’s grandaughter. The one who just had a baby?” and I was like “yeaaaah, that’s me.” and he was like “Oh! Well go get the little rascal, we wanna see him.” and my grandfather came in at this point looking really confused. The guy said I was going to get Elijah, and that I was such a nice girl and my grandfather should be proud that his children had such nice children. Was weird.
So I went upstairs to get Elijah from Blair, only Blair wouldn’t GIVE ME HIM. I got really upset again and went back downstairs to tell them I was sorry and I couldn’t bring him down. They asked me why, and I told him that Blair was a hog and there wasn’t anything I could do. But my grandfather marched up those stairs and started going OFF on Blair (I’ve seen this happen once in real life and it is NOT pretty when he goes off. Good god it’s not.) and so Blair gave me Elijah and I went downstairs to show the nice mafia guys my cute little son.
The end.