Scene No. 10: Buckbeak
We start of with the trio walking down a hill in the new and improved Hogwarts grounds. Hermione does nothing except complain about Divination and making fun of Trelawney, but that’s canon at least, so we enjoy this rare display of Hermione acting like her book counterpart.
Then we meet Hagrid and toddle off to the first Care of Magical Creatures class in the forest for some reason. When Hagrid tells them to open their books, Draco snarks at him how they should do that. After getting told to stroke the spine we get a pointless scene of what gets passed for comedy in this movie of Neville getting attacked by his book.
Hermione feels the need to tell Ron and Harry that she thinks the books are funny. Why? I don’t know, probably to make sure that she isn’t only smart, sassy and pretty, but also has a great sense of humour. Oh, and stealing just lines from Ron got boring, now she’s stealing Hagrid’s too. She does say it rather pissed off for no reason I can tell. Maybe because no one was paying attention to her for a minute.
Draco then proceeds to give everyone a piece of his mind concerning Hagrid. Harry, ever the witty one, tells him to shut up. To our all embarrassment Draco uses the oldest trick in the book. Even more embarrassing, Harry and the other Gryffindors fall for. Draco and his friends then proceed to make Dementor impressions since the actual scene where they impersonate one has been cut.
I don’t think there is a way to make Ron’s line “You’re supposed to stroke it.” not sound dirty.
Since we cannot ever have the good guys look bad in the movies, Hagrid not only loudly tells the class no to insult a Hippogriff (he only tells it directly to the trio in the book) and but he only has one instead one for every student.
He then asks for a volunteer and Harry is it for being to stupid to walk backwards like everybody else. Ron then has to prove once again what a coward he is by shoving Harry forward. Anyway, Harry walks up to Buckbeak, bows, looks kind of scared when he doesn’t bow back, Hagrid slightly panics, there is some stuff involving Hermione and Ron, but I was paying more attention to Draco eating an apple. Hmm, apples. Oh, sorry, where was I? Back to the scene, in the end Buckbeak bows and all is well. Until Hagrid lifts Harry onto Buckbeak and sends him off with a slap on the ass. So, it’s bad to insult him, but hitting him is a-okay? Okay, just checking the double standards here, never mind me. BTW, didn’t Hagrid call Buckbeak a brute when throwing him the ferret for bowing to Harry?
Harry then flies off on Buckbeak for what feels like three hours. What is that you say? You rather have the backstory of the Marauders? Shut up, and watch Dan Radcliffe sit on a CGI effect while he practices his Leonardo DiCaprio impressions. Backstory, schmackstory, we are not here to think.
Like I said earlier, in order for Hagrid to look better, Draco has to act a lot more moronic. So he proceeds to waltz up to Buckbeak and insult him loudly. Which of course completely justifies him getting attacked and getting his haute couture slashed. No blood since that could possibly make people feel for Draco and we can’t have that. Hermione knowing a fashion emergency when she sees one tells Hagrid to take Draco to the hospital wing, because naturally Hagrid not knowing Prada from a hole in the ground wouldn’t have thought of that. He then waltzes off with a rather obvious dummy lying in his arms while we close this scene with Draco’s : “You’ll pay, you and your bloody chicken.”
Then we meet Hagrid and toddle off to the first Care of Magical Creatures class in the forest for some reason. When Hagrid tells them to open their books, Draco snarks at him how they should do that. After getting told to stroke the spine we get a pointless scene of what gets passed for comedy in this movie of Neville getting attacked by his book.
Hermione feels the need to tell Ron and Harry that she thinks the books are funny. Why? I don’t know, probably to make sure that she isn’t only smart, sassy and pretty, but also has a great sense of humour. Oh, and stealing just lines from Ron got boring, now she’s stealing Hagrid’s too. She does say it rather pissed off for no reason I can tell. Maybe because no one was paying attention to her for a minute.
Draco then proceeds to give everyone a piece of his mind concerning Hagrid. Harry, ever the witty one, tells him to shut up. To our all embarrassment Draco uses the oldest trick in the book. Even more embarrassing, Harry and the other Gryffindors fall for. Draco and his friends then proceed to make Dementor impressions since the actual scene where they impersonate one has been cut.
I don’t think there is a way to make Ron’s line “You’re supposed to stroke it.” not sound dirty.
Since we cannot ever have the good guys look bad in the movies, Hagrid not only loudly tells the class no to insult a Hippogriff (he only tells it directly to the trio in the book) and but he only has one instead one for every student.
He then asks for a volunteer and Harry is it for being to stupid to walk backwards like everybody else. Ron then has to prove once again what a coward he is by shoving Harry forward. Anyway, Harry walks up to Buckbeak, bows, looks kind of scared when he doesn’t bow back, Hagrid slightly panics, there is some stuff involving Hermione and Ron, but I was paying more attention to Draco eating an apple. Hmm, apples. Oh, sorry, where was I? Back to the scene, in the end Buckbeak bows and all is well. Until Hagrid lifts Harry onto Buckbeak and sends him off with a slap on the ass. So, it’s bad to insult him, but hitting him is a-okay? Okay, just checking the double standards here, never mind me. BTW, didn’t Hagrid call Buckbeak a brute when throwing him the ferret for bowing to Harry?
Harry then flies off on Buckbeak for what feels like three hours. What is that you say? You rather have the backstory of the Marauders? Shut up, and watch Dan Radcliffe sit on a CGI effect while he practices his Leonardo DiCaprio impressions. Backstory, schmackstory, we are not here to think.
Like I said earlier, in order for Hagrid to look better, Draco has to act a lot more moronic. So he proceeds to waltz up to Buckbeak and insult him loudly. Which of course completely justifies him getting attacked and getting his haute couture slashed. No blood since that could possibly make people feel for Draco and we can’t have that. Hermione knowing a fashion emergency when she sees one tells Hagrid to take Draco to the hospital wing, because naturally Hagrid not knowing Prada from a hole in the ground wouldn’t have thought of that. He then waltzes off with a rather obvious dummy lying in his arms while we close this scene with Draco’s : “You’ll pay, you and your bloody chicken.”