shit
now im really fucking lost,
last week i cashed in my last week of vacation time for this year (woulda lost it if i didnt use it by the 1st anyway) and i went tax exempt on that check and my regular one, thus having a decent amount of extra money, especially since overtime is back on for me at work.
i just was lookign at airline proces to go visit my brothers/mom/neice/ sister in law ( and her best frend *wink*)
but now i also just realized, with the money i now have saved, and the fact my overtime is back on, and that i am now forced to at least put smoking weed on hiatus till i figure out if/ when my work will be testing me. im slightly close to being able to take the dealer class and get a job at the casino. AKA a really good stable job, or rather CAREER, basically 6 months from when i start the class i would be working at the casino. or i can visit family, and further consider moving out there and starting life over.
suddenly decsisions i had set in stone, have soaked in water, and turned back into sand, and im left with a really hard fucking choice to make
moving out there also would be throwing away my only real dream ive ever had of becoming a musician. and uncertain employment future. not that me visiting out there means i will be movign out there. but last time i visited, my head got sent into a tailspin of options, not all that disimilar to the one i am feeling right now
last week i cashed in my last week of vacation time for this year (woulda lost it if i didnt use it by the 1st anyway) and i went tax exempt on that check and my regular one, thus having a decent amount of extra money, especially since overtime is back on for me at work.
i just was lookign at airline proces to go visit my brothers/mom/neice/ sister in law ( and her best frend *wink*)
but now i also just realized, with the money i now have saved, and the fact my overtime is back on, and that i am now forced to at least put smoking weed on hiatus till i figure out if/ when my work will be testing me. im slightly close to being able to take the dealer class and get a job at the casino. AKA a really good stable job, or rather CAREER, basically 6 months from when i start the class i would be working at the casino. or i can visit family, and further consider moving out there and starting life over.
suddenly decsisions i had set in stone, have soaked in water, and turned back into sand, and im left with a really hard fucking choice to make
moving out there also would be throwing away my only real dream ive ever had of becoming a musician. and uncertain employment future. not that me visiting out there means i will be movign out there. but last time i visited, my head got sent into a tailspin of options, not all that disimilar to the one i am feeling right now