standard ranty/list-y entry
"everybody's changing and i dont feel the same" -keane
there's a lot of work i could/should be doing but i am drawn to the el jay. it really is theraputic to write out my thoughts. i should take advantage of this outlet more often.
the paper came out last week and it looks really good, but from what i can tell it hasnt recieved a whole lot of attention campus-wide. this is distressing considering the HOURS i spent perfecting it. it makes it hard to tackle this next issue with the same kind of voracity. but i must admit i do like having the title of managing editor, i like reading everyone's articles and making them sound a little more put together, i like helping to lay it out and i like that i can give it out to everyone i know. haha. sorry if that's annoying.
and then model un is busy. i mean, its going to be great-- the conference is in two weeks, and my committee is great and my position paper was really good, and the girls in my hotel room are fantastic, and the group should be a lot of fun. he's just giving us quizzes, and we're having a fundraiser tomorrow, and there's so much reading/work we need to do, and it's just so much. its funny how the two classes i complain most about are essentially clubs that i'm getting credit for.
the other classes are italian, which is going bene; english, which i am late with a paper for; human bio, which is good until next week when we have an 50 question exam on the skeletal system, the muscular system, the nervous system, and the senses. thats a lot of info. and finally im taking a history course online, which i have thouroughly neglected for about 3 weeks. but on the other hand, my professor for that course is my model un professor, so maybe he'll cut me some slack if i really get my act together.
work is going well. i close the store on my own which is easy, and am getting more hours which is necessary. 50 dollars a week is just not cutting it. the people are nice though, and i got really complimented by a customer who knows the owner of the store and is going to put in a good word about me. so i mean, that's good.
john. things with him are spectacular, minus the fact that this distance is terrible. i was always sad leaving him, but now it gets to the point where i cannot help but cry when i get on the train and he walks away. i am inconsolable for about 10 minutes. its getting embarassing. i dont want to be that girl on the train who cries every sunday night, but what can i do? i fall more for him every day, exponetially more every day we're together. i wait all week to see him and then i turn around and im already on the train home from an amazing-but-too-short weekend. the best part about my recent visit to maryland was the fact that we got almost 3 full days of each other, just about 24 hours a day. that is how i would spend every day of my life, if i could. i wish we could just afford to get married. i would marry him right this second, in my sweatpants and hoodie, if i could. i hate that there's no time when we KNOW for sure that we're going to get to be together all the time. like if you're going to college with your bf/gf, summer vacation is awful. but at least you know that by sept.3, you are going to be moved into each other's dorm room and sleeping next to each other every night that you want to. if you live near your bf/gf, but they're away at school, then it sucks. but when you come home you could see each other every day. but with john and me, we are always at least 1.5 hours away. we get to be closer when i crash his parents house (which i feel increasingly bad/awkward about), and then it's not like we have our alone time to just hang out. by the time we get used to each other again hours have gone by, meaning we're that much closer to going away again. im sorry to harp on it. it's just really awful for me. i love him with my whole heart. everytime i see him it is abundantly clear. i want him to be in my life every day forever, but for now i have to settle for a 640am phone date. that is the time we can make for each other before we're busy between 830am and 630pm. i wish i could win the lottery. then i would buy us a house/apt/condo/whatever. and we could live together. and id just buy us planes so we could get to school/work. please god, throw me the 340 mil. i'll do good deeds with it.
ugh im tired. i havent written this paper. i didnt get a doctors note for missing italian last week. and i need to shower in the morning. fuck.
okay, its 2am. im going to do my italian homework and outline my paper. then im going to go to sleep, wake up at 635 to call john at 640. get off the phone around 7. shower. out by 720. dry my hair, done by 740. type my paper, email it to myself. leave for school by 810, get there by 820, buy coffee, go to class, out by 950, finish/print my paper before class at 1015, class 1015 to like 1230, prep for bake sale for mun, then bake sale 1-230, go back over to honors for the end of the meeting, make my way over to my job, work 4-6, then find a way to come home and sleep. forever.
ughhhhhhhhh life.
there's a lot of work i could/should be doing but i am drawn to the el jay. it really is theraputic to write out my thoughts. i should take advantage of this outlet more often.
the paper came out last week and it looks really good, but from what i can tell it hasnt recieved a whole lot of attention campus-wide. this is distressing considering the HOURS i spent perfecting it. it makes it hard to tackle this next issue with the same kind of voracity. but i must admit i do like having the title of managing editor, i like reading everyone's articles and making them sound a little more put together, i like helping to lay it out and i like that i can give it out to everyone i know. haha. sorry if that's annoying.
and then model un is busy. i mean, its going to be great-- the conference is in two weeks, and my committee is great and my position paper was really good, and the girls in my hotel room are fantastic, and the group should be a lot of fun. he's just giving us quizzes, and we're having a fundraiser tomorrow, and there's so much reading/work we need to do, and it's just so much. its funny how the two classes i complain most about are essentially clubs that i'm getting credit for.
the other classes are italian, which is going bene; english, which i am late with a paper for; human bio, which is good until next week when we have an 50 question exam on the skeletal system, the muscular system, the nervous system, and the senses. thats a lot of info. and finally im taking a history course online, which i have thouroughly neglected for about 3 weeks. but on the other hand, my professor for that course is my model un professor, so maybe he'll cut me some slack if i really get my act together.
work is going well. i close the store on my own which is easy, and am getting more hours which is necessary. 50 dollars a week is just not cutting it. the people are nice though, and i got really complimented by a customer who knows the owner of the store and is going to put in a good word about me. so i mean, that's good.
john. things with him are spectacular, minus the fact that this distance is terrible. i was always sad leaving him, but now it gets to the point where i cannot help but cry when i get on the train and he walks away. i am inconsolable for about 10 minutes. its getting embarassing. i dont want to be that girl on the train who cries every sunday night, but what can i do? i fall more for him every day, exponetially more every day we're together. i wait all week to see him and then i turn around and im already on the train home from an amazing-but-too-short weekend. the best part about my recent visit to maryland was the fact that we got almost 3 full days of each other, just about 24 hours a day. that is how i would spend every day of my life, if i could. i wish we could just afford to get married. i would marry him right this second, in my sweatpants and hoodie, if i could. i hate that there's no time when we KNOW for sure that we're going to get to be together all the time. like if you're going to college with your bf/gf, summer vacation is awful. but at least you know that by sept.3, you are going to be moved into each other's dorm room and sleeping next to each other every night that you want to. if you live near your bf/gf, but they're away at school, then it sucks. but when you come home you could see each other every day. but with john and me, we are always at least 1.5 hours away. we get to be closer when i crash his parents house (which i feel increasingly bad/awkward about), and then it's not like we have our alone time to just hang out. by the time we get used to each other again hours have gone by, meaning we're that much closer to going away again. im sorry to harp on it. it's just really awful for me. i love him with my whole heart. everytime i see him it is abundantly clear. i want him to be in my life every day forever, but for now i have to settle for a 640am phone date. that is the time we can make for each other before we're busy between 830am and 630pm. i wish i could win the lottery. then i would buy us a house/apt/condo/whatever. and we could live together. and id just buy us planes so we could get to school/work. please god, throw me the 340 mil. i'll do good deeds with it.
ugh im tired. i havent written this paper. i didnt get a doctors note for missing italian last week. and i need to shower in the morning. fuck.
okay, its 2am. im going to do my italian homework and outline my paper. then im going to go to sleep, wake up at 635 to call john at 640. get off the phone around 7. shower. out by 720. dry my hair, done by 740. type my paper, email it to myself. leave for school by 810, get there by 820, buy coffee, go to class, out by 950, finish/print my paper before class at 1015, class 1015 to like 1230, prep for bake sale for mun, then bake sale 1-230, go back over to honors for the end of the meeting, make my way over to my job, work 4-6, then find a way to come home and sleep. forever.
ughhhhhhhhh life.