I wanted to do something wild, but now break is almost over.
you know how i've been saying how i love everything and how it all reminds me of last year and how nostalgic i am? well some things that remind me of the past i just can't deal with (though that sentence way way overdramatic). the night air feels like summer and it reminds me of summers past. but only the part of the summer i spent near my building, which is where am now (duh). i can't deal with the feeling of it, the air quality. lately everything has also been about air quality. the way it feels and the way it seeps into my skin remind me of things i used to do, or people i used to know. (when at schol, in lab and art especally, but the i realized that those are the only classrooms with windows or air in them...) but during the past summers i spend the time i wasn't away (at artsy camp usually) with the kids near my building. and we didn't get along. i don't know why i hung out with those kids (but then again if you really know me, you will). i am now afraid to go outside on summer nights, like this feels like. not afraid, but... you know. dreadful? (as in full of dread...) but this morning i went running on randal's island (with the track team) and everything smelled like sunscrean and cut grass and summer, and the sun beat down when we waited for the M35 (is it an M? because it basically goes to Manhattan?) and i also felt vaguely like a hitchhiker in texas witht he sun and the dusty road and the sitting on a curbside (but that's not nostalgia, that's just what it felt like... you know). but a second thing i remember i just can't deal with is emo bands and panic! at the disco being just like an other fall out boy. that i can't deal with. (that also came out a little over dramatic... or over harsh...) but I can deal with sun and sunscreen and freshly cut grass and empty dusty roads. this summer we have to go to the beach.