Who's the punk private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

Sep 06, 2005 20:54



Tré fucking wins at life.

Also, Billie's got the Shaft walk going there. And striped socks. Billie Joe rules like wire spools and power tools. You're daaaamn right.

Anyway...

You know, all I really want is people to leave me the hell alone. If I don't know you, chances are I don't want to know you. I will never understand why people feel the need to arbitrarily just up and start talking to other people. I'm not completely opposed to meeting new friends but jeez, don't make some huge production out of it. That's why I hate dating. It's the whole rigoddamndiculous ritual of it all. It's not real. It's just going through the motions. I hate small talk. I hate the "getting-to-know-you phase". If it doesn't develop genuinely, the hell with it. I want it to happen naturally; I don't want to feel like I'm on a fucking job interview.



1* Are you a sticky note junky?
Uh…I'd have to say no.

And it's junkie.

2* If you have a cell phone, what's your wallpaper?
I don't have a cell phone. In your face, technology!

3* What's the first thing you do when you get home?
Yell at my cats for something stupid they did while I was gone.

4* What is in your refrigerator?
Practically nothing.

5* When was the last time you gave a stranger a hello or smile?
I'll start smiling when people stop pissing me off.

6* When someone sneezes what do you say?
Nothing. I just stay out of the spray.

7* What is some useless knowledge that you know?
In A Nightmare on Elm Street, the actual phrase "Elm Street" is never spoken.

8* What's the most annoying advice you've gotten?
Any sort of inane "love" advice. Keep your clichés to yourself. It's not making me feel any better, it's just making me want to punch you in the throat.

9* Do you ever wish you had super powers?
I don't know. Spandex is uncomfortable.

10* Have you ever ordered any porn off of the internet?
Hell no, I get my porn from the shop like any self-respecting pervert.

11* Have you ever been caught naked in the rain?
No, but I can think of some wonderful ways that might get me into such a scenario.

12* What would you rather be, a chicken or a lobster?
A lobster, so I could pinch the hell out of pricks who've got it coming. You just can't get away with that being human. Not without people making a big deal out of it.

13* Are you true to your astrological sign?
In some ways.

14* First thing you did this morning:
Made coffee.

15* Last thing you ate:
An ice cream cone.

16* Is your cell phone a piece of crap?
I guarantee it would be if I had one.

17* What's the thing you look forward to most in the next 6 months?
If I get too excited about it, something will go wrong. I can't geek out just yet. Want to. Can't. Them's the crackers.

18* What's annoying you right now?
Being single. Being broke. Being paranoid. The same shit that always annoys me.

19* What's the last movie you watched?
Dead Alive.

20* Do you believe in long distance relationships?
I believe they exist, sure. May not be such a good idea, but whatever works is whatever works.

21* What's worse...being in love with someone you can't have or pretending to love someone you don't?
They're both horrible. The first is miserable, though sadly often can't be helped. The second is just asinine and should never be carried on by anyone.

22* Is there someone you miss so much it hurts?
Not anymore.

23* If you could put together a concert of any 5 bands, who would you choose?
The Offspring, blink-182, The Smashing Pumpkins, Beck, and Green Day. My boys would have to be the closers, of course. I wouldn't make anyone try to follow them.

24* Lyric that sums up your love life?
Fuck, I can't let this kill me, let go/I need some more time to fix this problem.

25* What's the one thing you wish you could do better?
I'm with haushinkaitlyn on this one; Everything.

26* If you could be anywhere this second, where would it be?
Somewhere else. Just…somewhere else.

27* What's your most vivid memory from 6th grade?
There are too many.

28* Latest addiction?
My Stella addiction has resurfaced. Unfortunately, my damn dial-up won't let me download the shorts and I haven't seen them in ages and I want them back. Fortunately, they have a fantastically funny show on Comedy Central (Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m.). Unfortunately, it's good and we all know that good things on television don't last. Fortunately, I've been taping the episodes. Unfortunately, if they don't release it on DVD, somebody's gonna die. Or at least get several boxes of dildos plastered with as many dirty variations of "Release Stella!" slogans as we fans can think up.

29* Have you ever had the slight urge to kill someone?
"Slight"...? *eyetwitch*

30* How many people would you say you were interested in at once?
One.

31* Who are you in love with?
Myself, fucker.

32* Do you think someone thinks about you daily?
Hell if I know.

33* Are you self-confident?
More so than I used to be.

34* What would you change about yourself?
I'd love to be able to stop worrying about anything and everything. And to be more decisive.

35* What book are you reading right now?
John Lydon's Rotten.

36* How many people do you know with the same name as yours?
None. It's not that I have an unusual name, it's that I don't know many people.

37* What was the last thing you spilled?
The blood of the innocent. Coffee, most likely.
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