Blah blah blah
Went to therapy again today. It's kinda nice to sit and tell someone all about yourself who's never heard any of it before and who knows the right kind of questions to ask. It's weird too though. I guess it's just the nature of trying to find out why you're unhappy that you have to focus on all the ways your family and your life are weird or dysfunctional. The idea being that once you understand it you can see how it influences you in the here and now and move past it or do whatever it is you need to do. There are some things about me as a kid that I never really thought about til I had to sit down and explain them to someone. Having to tell a complete stranger about it also seems to be a good test of how comfortable you truly are with a thing. I'm realizing there's still an awful lot of stuff I'm not nearly so comfortable with as I thought, or stuff that I just kinda pushed out of my mind. I'm not talking about repressed memories or any of that, this is stuff that's definitely been there all along for the recalling, I just didn't like recalling it, so I stopped and just forgot it was even there til something related made me think of it. I still don't know if it's actually going to lead to anything constructive or if it's just an expensive exercise in me running my mouth for an hour at a time though.