Shades of grey
Well, looks like I was indeed jumping the gun and things are ok.
I've been really busy with classes and work and fairly sleep deprived between the two. Things like this, especially the sleep deprivation, tend to make one rather grumpy and generally not fun. Add to that being a woman and having hormones and it can make things interesting. Last week was the end of a few of my classes so things are better now, but with all the tests I had to take it was pretty rough then. Take away my sleep and that's all I want to do. Sex is the last thing on my mind. I think pretty much any sort of stress and my libido is the first thing to go. Anyway, Lynden was getting rather frustrated with the whole having a girlfriend and yet not getting laid thing. He tolerated it well the first time I turned him down in favor of sleep, but the second time not as much. He went off to do his thing and get some relief and seemed kinda upset, but I figured he'd be back. He wasn't. I woke up a few hours later and found him sleeping on the floor in the other room. I took this to be a pretty bad sign. I figured he must be rather upset with me if he'd rather sleep on the floor of the computer room than in the same bed as me and I woke up a few hours earlier than him so I had a while to brood on that. Turns out he just didn't feel up to talking and was really tired.
I'm not really used to this getting upset with each other thing and then working things out. It seems like in the past all my relationships have sailed smoothly into the brick wall that ends them with no bumps along the way. It's a nice change, don't get me wrong, it's just my reaction that makes me wonder where I stand. The fact that my first response was not, "Wait, there must be something I can I do" but "Well, crap, there goes that." I think some of it might be that I'm more used to relationships ending than lasting, so I just kind of expect it. Relationships are also stressful in their own ways, so although I'd miss it, it would be a relief at the same time. Overall though, I'm quite happy it didn't end there, so I guess that's a good sign.
*shrugs* My brain doesn't make much sense to me. I guess I just wish there were some definitive way to know you were in the right place with the right person, and despite knowing that there is no such convenient answer, I find myself looking for one all the same.
I've been really busy with classes and work and fairly sleep deprived between the two. Things like this, especially the sleep deprivation, tend to make one rather grumpy and generally not fun. Add to that being a woman and having hormones and it can make things interesting. Last week was the end of a few of my classes so things are better now, but with all the tests I had to take it was pretty rough then. Take away my sleep and that's all I want to do. Sex is the last thing on my mind. I think pretty much any sort of stress and my libido is the first thing to go. Anyway, Lynden was getting rather frustrated with the whole having a girlfriend and yet not getting laid thing. He tolerated it well the first time I turned him down in favor of sleep, but the second time not as much. He went off to do his thing and get some relief and seemed kinda upset, but I figured he'd be back. He wasn't. I woke up a few hours later and found him sleeping on the floor in the other room. I took this to be a pretty bad sign. I figured he must be rather upset with me if he'd rather sleep on the floor of the computer room than in the same bed as me and I woke up a few hours earlier than him so I had a while to brood on that. Turns out he just didn't feel up to talking and was really tired.
I'm not really used to this getting upset with each other thing and then working things out. It seems like in the past all my relationships have sailed smoothly into the brick wall that ends them with no bumps along the way. It's a nice change, don't get me wrong, it's just my reaction that makes me wonder where I stand. The fact that my first response was not, "Wait, there must be something I can I do" but "Well, crap, there goes that." I think some of it might be that I'm more used to relationships ending than lasting, so I just kind of expect it. Relationships are also stressful in their own ways, so although I'd miss it, it would be a relief at the same time. Overall though, I'm quite happy it didn't end there, so I guess that's a good sign.
*shrugs* My brain doesn't make much sense to me. I guess I just wish there were some definitive way to know you were in the right place with the right person, and despite knowing that there is no such convenient answer, I find myself looking for one all the same.