(no subject)
so, i've decided that from now on, all of my journal entries will be my own words-which may or may not be a good thing. its 7:53 am at the moment, so if i don't make much sense, you'll know why. lately ive been trying to determine what it is that keeps my life going. the fact that i i believe all i'll do once i die is rot in the ground saves me from having a death wish. life is short anyways, instead of waiting to die, i'd like to make the most of my time. material success is not my goal by any means, although it is needed to get by. instead, i focus on what makes me enjoy life, what makes me happy. i think i made the right choice in the educational sense. there is nothing more dehumanizing than being trapped in a job you can't stand, day after long, agonizing day. hopefully once i graduate, or perhaps before then, i'll have a job i can half-way stand. as far as friends are concerned, i think i've got great ones, although i should probably devote more time to them, i can't help myself. i've been meeting a lot of great new people as well. i think by now you all know the factor in my life that brings me the most fulfillment. i say "you all" as if anyone actually reads my journal.... anyways, i can't help but mention her, and why not? she is very deserving. she said something last night she felt was ridiculous, ha, if only she knew the "absurd" ideas i have had. i don't know that i will ever find aother i make so many connections with on so many levels. i don't want it to end, ever. i know i sound extremely out of character for myself, but so what. i wasn't in love with my old self anyways. i wasnt exactly depressed, but there was always an emptiness. right now i dont feel that, i feel complete. stressed at times i may be, but who isn't. again, im sorry for my early-morning rambling, so i hpe that you've stopped reading by now. i'd also like to add that just because i've found this wonderful person i'd like to devote the majority of my time to, my friends are valued as well. we've been through some tough times together, but look at us now, we're still alive. getting off of the subject, does anyone have any ideas for valentines day? i'm really drawing a blank here. i hate feeling obligated to do something special, it's so forced. in general i like to perform those tasks when inspirations strikes, not at a certain due date. i rushed something recently, i felt like it was owed, but it came out terrible, and i wish i could take it back. i've got a new idea at the moment and i hope it turns out the way i want it to. well, thats enough for the entry, more than enough i'm positive, so if by any chance some poor bastard happens to read this entire entry, will you bother to leave a comment? you may as well, you've wasted plenty of your time already reading this thing....