You're a failure played in stereo.
So. Shall I tell you about my day?
Well, it started with being woken up at 4 in the morning. Which, I'll admit, it's an hour later than I thought it would be!
But it's still fucking 4 in the morning. I tripped over my clothes on the floor and then ran into the door frame just trying to get to the shower.
And then I nearly fell asleep in the shower and fell over.
Dad told me to be ready by 5, so I get down there...At 5...Could've watched Mr. Men...Would've made my day a little happier...
But no. Dad shows up at about 5:45 and he's like, "READY TO GO?! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL"
*was PISSED*
So we finally hit the road, and I sleep for about half the time...Or at least, I tried.
Because Dad found the oldies station! And he just HAD to sing every song he knew to me. Have you ever heard a 45 year old man's version of Joan Jett's Do You Wanna Touch Me?
You don't want to. It was horrible.
So Dad decides, alright, we'll get breakfast. And that's fine. We get to the Lafayette stop about halfway to Indy and we go to Bob Evan's. Dad decides he has to go to the bathroom, so I got us a table.
...The waiter...I don't know if he thought I was alone or WHAT, but for as long as my dad was gone (which was a long time), he kept hitting on me. Creepy little smiles and he kept touching my shoulder and shit...
Ever hear "How may I serve you?" In a creepy, slightly pedophiliac voice? Yeah, it's just as bad as Joan Jett up there. And of course, it's like, 6:40 in the fucking morning, I look like a zombie straight out of hell...
Ugh. And they put too much sugar on my french toast. At least he stopped as soon as he realized, "Oh shit, the person who is now sitting next to her JUST MIGHT BE HER DAD. HE LOOKS AS OLD AS I DO. MAYBE SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR ME."
Maybe I was, waiter man. Good try though.
Back on the road...Nothing exciting happened.
Get to Indy, that was alright.
On the road going home!
As soon as we stepped outside, it started sleeting. And of course, I'm already in a foul mood...The door of the car wouldn't stay open because of the wind too, so I kicked it out of anger and ended up hurting myself more than the car.
The weather all the way home was absolute shit. But as soon as we pulled in the driveway it stopped...
Also, Dad tried giving me this speech about how THE WEATHER WON'T HURT US BECAUSE WE'VE MADE OUR PEACE WITH GOD, RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT EM?! SO I'M GONNA DRIVE 80 MILES AN HOUR THROUGH THIS SHIT!! GOD WILL PROTECT US!!!!!!!
I was seriously just like O_O WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Anyway, about...1/4 of the way home, we passed by this bad accident. I cried, it was so terrible...The first thing we saw were the ambulance lights from a distance. There was this HEAP of scrap metal that you couldn't justify as a car in its state no matter how much you tried. In fact, the only way we knew it was even a car was because the horn was blaring still, like something heavy was resting on it. The entire side looked like it'd been scraped off and then smashed in, it just looked like...a giant ball of scrap metal.
There was a stretcher next to the scrap metal with a person in it. In the back of the "car," you could see an arm sticking out. It wasn't moving.
That's where I started crying, when I saw the arm...
A little further down the road, there was a U-haul truck that looked like it'd been torn apart and then thrown on its side. It was bad...There were like, 3 ambulances there and more coming as we kept driving.
Dad finally slowed down...To 60. STILL too fast for the weather, but...at least it wasn't 80 and at least I didn't get another God speech.
We stopped at Mickey D's on the way home...And I suppose, I should mention, it's still really windy and I'm wearing this dress with leggings underneath...Thank Uncle Sam for those leggings, by the way, because my dress was flying EVERYWHERE. I'd push down the front and it'd fly up in the back, and I'd push down the back and it'd fly up in the front...Anyway, as I'm walking into Mickey D's (Dad had walked ahead of me cuz he had to go to the bathroom...again), some guy walks out, gives me a once over and smiles.
Smiles. Same age as the Bob Evan's guy too, looked like.
I was like, What the hell man?! Is today the day all of the creepy men who live in their mothers' basements decided to crawl out and stare at me or something?!
As soon as we got home I just went upstairs and passed out. FFFFFFFFF.
I'm never doing this again.
Well, it started with being woken up at 4 in the morning. Which, I'll admit, it's an hour later than I thought it would be!
But it's still fucking 4 in the morning. I tripped over my clothes on the floor and then ran into the door frame just trying to get to the shower.
And then I nearly fell asleep in the shower and fell over.
Dad told me to be ready by 5, so I get down there...At 5...Could've watched Mr. Men...Would've made my day a little happier...
But no. Dad shows up at about 5:45 and he's like, "READY TO GO?! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL"
*was PISSED*
So we finally hit the road, and I sleep for about half the time...Or at least, I tried.
Because Dad found the oldies station! And he just HAD to sing every song he knew to me. Have you ever heard a 45 year old man's version of Joan Jett's Do You Wanna Touch Me?
You don't want to. It was horrible.
So Dad decides, alright, we'll get breakfast. And that's fine. We get to the Lafayette stop about halfway to Indy and we go to Bob Evan's. Dad decides he has to go to the bathroom, so I got us a table.
...The waiter...I don't know if he thought I was alone or WHAT, but for as long as my dad was gone (which was a long time), he kept hitting on me. Creepy little smiles and he kept touching my shoulder and shit...
Ever hear "How may I serve you?" In a creepy, slightly pedophiliac voice? Yeah, it's just as bad as Joan Jett up there. And of course, it's like, 6:40 in the fucking morning, I look like a zombie straight out of hell...
Ugh. And they put too much sugar on my french toast. At least he stopped as soon as he realized, "Oh shit, the person who is now sitting next to her JUST MIGHT BE HER DAD. HE LOOKS AS OLD AS I DO. MAYBE SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR ME."
Maybe I was, waiter man. Good try though.
Back on the road...Nothing exciting happened.
Get to Indy, that was alright.
On the road going home!
As soon as we stepped outside, it started sleeting. And of course, I'm already in a foul mood...The door of the car wouldn't stay open because of the wind too, so I kicked it out of anger and ended up hurting myself more than the car.
The weather all the way home was absolute shit. But as soon as we pulled in the driveway it stopped...
Also, Dad tried giving me this speech about how THE WEATHER WON'T HURT US BECAUSE WE'VE MADE OUR PEACE WITH GOD, RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT EM?! SO I'M GONNA DRIVE 80 MILES AN HOUR THROUGH THIS SHIT!! GOD WILL PROTECT US!!!!!!!
I was seriously just like O_O WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Anyway, about...1/4 of the way home, we passed by this bad accident. I cried, it was so terrible...The first thing we saw were the ambulance lights from a distance. There was this HEAP of scrap metal that you couldn't justify as a car in its state no matter how much you tried. In fact, the only way we knew it was even a car was because the horn was blaring still, like something heavy was resting on it. The entire side looked like it'd been scraped off and then smashed in, it just looked like...a giant ball of scrap metal.
There was a stretcher next to the scrap metal with a person in it. In the back of the "car," you could see an arm sticking out. It wasn't moving.
That's where I started crying, when I saw the arm...
A little further down the road, there was a U-haul truck that looked like it'd been torn apart and then thrown on its side. It was bad...There were like, 3 ambulances there and more coming as we kept driving.
Dad finally slowed down...To 60. STILL too fast for the weather, but...at least it wasn't 80 and at least I didn't get another God speech.
We stopped at Mickey D's on the way home...And I suppose, I should mention, it's still really windy and I'm wearing this dress with leggings underneath...Thank Uncle Sam for those leggings, by the way, because my dress was flying EVERYWHERE. I'd push down the front and it'd fly up in the back, and I'd push down the back and it'd fly up in the front...Anyway, as I'm walking into Mickey D's (Dad had walked ahead of me cuz he had to go to the bathroom...again), some guy walks out, gives me a once over and smiles.
Smiles. Same age as the Bob Evan's guy too, looked like.
I was like, What the hell man?! Is today the day all of the creepy men who live in their mothers' basements decided to crawl out and stare at me or something?!
As soon as we got home I just went upstairs and passed out. FFFFFFFFF.
I'm never doing this again.