thoughts on thoughtlessness
So I was thinking about why people are passive-aggressive, and why people tend not to speak up when they're annoyed until they're ready to shout.
I hate getting annoyed by stupid things. Especially stupid thoughtless things. But fucking hell if thoughtless things seem to be the sort of things that really deserves getting angry about. I mean, deliberate meanness? Usually a person who's attempting to hurt someone else isn't worth their own shit, so fuck 'em. But thoughtless actions come from people who don't mean harm, people who are just negligent in thought. (Or don't care, but most people don't care about others, so honestly it's not a big surprise.)
Thoughtlessness is also annoying since it usually builds, so there's no glaring example to point to as evidence for being annoyed. It's even worse when things are text-based and parties involved have traditionally poor reading comprehension that requires explanation above and beyond what responding to thoughtless behavior deserves. And since, let's face it, internet fights happen, this becomes relevant to considering the whole topic. Usually explanation is required to demonstrate thoughtless behavior's existence, setting up a premise for the writer's annoyance to be valid. So even verbally, a lot of speaking has to be done by the one being insulted. How the hell is that fair?
Why should the person being insulted explain that insult in minute, pandering detail? It's exposing a weakness: "I am insulted because you did not consider me, please use my honest expression of annoyance to ridicule or continue to ignore me." Usually the insulted person then comes across as petty or uptight, which is ridiculous. Does a person being pissed on because of someone else's misguided attempts at writing their name in the snow not deserve to say, "Hey, watch where you're pointing that thing?" I'd think they would, but usually the pisser ends up hitting the victim in the mouth. Yeah, I went there. And why does the thoughtless one do so? Because usually they feel upset and defensive, and most people lash out when they feel defensive. It's easier on them, and the cycle gets a little more vicious.
Score another point for passive-aggressiveness, bullshit that it is. Oh well, at least I've pinned this down well enough for my own benefit. I was annoyed when I started typing, now I'm just sad. Meh.
Now! to pick up the cat from the vet. She is getting a bath, because we lack means to keep a cat in a shower without encountering great peril. Fourteen bucks is not a bad trade off.
I hate getting annoyed by stupid things. Especially stupid thoughtless things. But fucking hell if thoughtless things seem to be the sort of things that really deserves getting angry about. I mean, deliberate meanness? Usually a person who's attempting to hurt someone else isn't worth their own shit, so fuck 'em. But thoughtless actions come from people who don't mean harm, people who are just negligent in thought. (Or don't care, but most people don't care about others, so honestly it's not a big surprise.)
Thoughtlessness is also annoying since it usually builds, so there's no glaring example to point to as evidence for being annoyed. It's even worse when things are text-based and parties involved have traditionally poor reading comprehension that requires explanation above and beyond what responding to thoughtless behavior deserves. And since, let's face it, internet fights happen, this becomes relevant to considering the whole topic. Usually explanation is required to demonstrate thoughtless behavior's existence, setting up a premise for the writer's annoyance to be valid. So even verbally, a lot of speaking has to be done by the one being insulted. How the hell is that fair?
Why should the person being insulted explain that insult in minute, pandering detail? It's exposing a weakness: "I am insulted because you did not consider me, please use my honest expression of annoyance to ridicule or continue to ignore me." Usually the insulted person then comes across as petty or uptight, which is ridiculous. Does a person being pissed on because of someone else's misguided attempts at writing their name in the snow not deserve to say, "Hey, watch where you're pointing that thing?" I'd think they would, but usually the pisser ends up hitting the victim in the mouth. Yeah, I went there. And why does the thoughtless one do so? Because usually they feel upset and defensive, and most people lash out when they feel defensive. It's easier on them, and the cycle gets a little more vicious.
Score another point for passive-aggressiveness, bullshit that it is. Oh well, at least I've pinned this down well enough for my own benefit. I was annoyed when I started typing, now I'm just sad. Meh.
Now! to pick up the cat from the vet. She is getting a bath, because we lack means to keep a cat in a shower without encountering great peril. Fourteen bucks is not a bad trade off.