dear journal

[spongebobutrfly]

wow long time no update...not much happening here just goi ng through a series of tests to find out what is wrong with me and it's kind of scaring me because i have to get a scope done and thats about the most scary part but just the thought of finding something wrong with me kind of freaks me out. And alas i think the only person who could help me calm my fears on this can't. Gosh i just miss her so much and she was there for my first hospital visit ever and she was a nurse. I just wish i could see her again. some people have best friends there own age or there abouts. I mean i love brandon and he is my best friend but nothing compares to the relationship i had with her. idk i guess the first loss is the hardest but i don't see them getting much easier from here on.

i love you
kitten