(no subject)
It seems I need to clarify some things about my post yesterday. Rather than repeating myself in multiple comments, I am posting again. This way everyone can see it at once!
There's no shame in being in a bad situation. It happens to everyone. Even if you're in it because of your own mistakes, that sucks, but we all do it. There's nothing wrong with not being able to handle everything yourself, either. Even Batman accepts helps when he needs it.
When you're in a situation like that, there are several things you can do. You can try to resolve the situation yourself, even if it's hard work and takes a long time. You can ask for help. Or you can do both, doing what you can on your own and accepting help for the rest. But if you do neither and merely whine about how bad things are and refuse help when offered, that's when you should feel ashamed. It's weak and pathetic and shows you want pity, not for things to change. Sure, it's fine to want sympathy in a moment of weakness, but you have to be strong, too! Take that sympathy and be encouraged to work even harder!
And don't say you refuse help for the protection of others either! That's not only just an excuse, it also disrespects the people offering their help. Make sure they have all the information, yes. But once they do, if they choose to risk themselves, respect that choice. It's theirs to make, not yours. Even if you don't know them. Even if you don't think you're worth it. You shouldn't try to make that choice for other people! If I save someone from being mugged and they say, "Thank you, but you shouldn't have saved me. It was too dangerous," I think they're not only grateful, they're also a paternalistic jerkwad. I risk my life for strangers every night, but that's my choice to make and you aren't going to take it from me!
Someone who really wants help accepts it from anyone who offers. Even an enemy can be a worthwhile ally in the right circumstances. If the same person instead says, "I didn't want you to rescue me; I wanted it to be Batman!" that suggests the whole thing was a setup. Even if they really needed help, they had an ulterior motive for getting into trouble in the first place.
Lastly, encouraging your friends to be pathetic and seek only sympathy instead of solutions isn't being nice or being a good friend. You aren't helping them that way. Even good people can be idiots at time and the true friend tells them when they're being stupid instead of protecting them from hearing it. How can anyone grow if they don't even recognize their mistakes to learn from them?
I know it's not just girls guilty of these things, either. I just see them do it more and it bugs me more because I'm a girl, too, and it makes us all look bad. You're only weak and helpless if you choose to be!
There's no shame in being in a bad situation. It happens to everyone. Even if you're in it because of your own mistakes, that sucks, but we all do it. There's nothing wrong with not being able to handle everything yourself, either. Even Batman accepts helps when he needs it.
When you're in a situation like that, there are several things you can do. You can try to resolve the situation yourself, even if it's hard work and takes a long time. You can ask for help. Or you can do both, doing what you can on your own and accepting help for the rest. But if you do neither and merely whine about how bad things are and refuse help when offered, that's when you should feel ashamed. It's weak and pathetic and shows you want pity, not for things to change. Sure, it's fine to want sympathy in a moment of weakness, but you have to be strong, too! Take that sympathy and be encouraged to work even harder!
And don't say you refuse help for the protection of others either! That's not only just an excuse, it also disrespects the people offering their help. Make sure they have all the information, yes. But once they do, if they choose to risk themselves, respect that choice. It's theirs to make, not yours. Even if you don't know them. Even if you don't think you're worth it. You shouldn't try to make that choice for other people! If I save someone from being mugged and they say, "Thank you, but you shouldn't have saved me. It was too dangerous," I think they're not only grateful, they're also a paternalistic jerkwad. I risk my life for strangers every night, but that's my choice to make and you aren't going to take it from me!
Someone who really wants help accepts it from anyone who offers. Even an enemy can be a worthwhile ally in the right circumstances. If the same person instead says, "I didn't want you to rescue me; I wanted it to be Batman!" that suggests the whole thing was a setup. Even if they really needed help, they had an ulterior motive for getting into trouble in the first place.
Lastly, encouraging your friends to be pathetic and seek only sympathy instead of solutions isn't being nice or being a good friend. You aren't helping them that way. Even good people can be idiots at time and the true friend tells them when they're being stupid instead of protecting them from hearing it. How can anyone grow if they don't even recognize their mistakes to learn from them?
I know it's not just girls guilty of these things, either. I just see them do it more and it bugs me more because I'm a girl, too, and it makes us all look bad. You're only weak and helpless if you choose to be!