... ick
I'm feeling a little bit better today. Partly because I'm hung over from 8mg of xanax in two days. I don't know what is going on. All I know is I really need help. I was sittin here just a few minutes ago looking up information on chapter 13, yeah, we're gonna file bankruptcy. There's nothing else we can do. I was also trying to look up what could possibly be causing all my mental issues. I don't know what is wrong with me. I have all these thoughts that I can't explain. I literally hear voices. I just constantly think about things that I really wish I wouldn't be thinking about. It makes no sense to me. i don'tknow why I'm so unhappy. And really if you think about it there is no such thing as unhappy. I am just not all here. My body hurts, my ears hurt, my head hurts. But the worst part is my soul hurts. It feels like there is this huge weight on my chest and i don't know how to get it off of me. It is driving me crazy. I hate that Daniel isn't home, I hate that all of my closest friends don't have cars of their own. I don't like being withdrawn and stuck being away from everyone. I'm trying to deal. Don't let my post last night make any of you think I'm going to do something stupid. I have the feelings and the thoughts, but I'm not going to do anything stupid. I just want help. I just need everyone to be supportive, so I don't snap.