The Time Traveler's Dad(s)- Part 3
Part 1
Part 2
PART 3
Sasha was tucked into an overly-long flannel shirt. It would have been cute, with her bright yellowish-hazel eyes and elegant Eurasian features, if she hadn't been talking non-stop for two hours, attempting to relay every detail of the week Tiber had missed.
"It's getting late guys, how about we go to bed now?" Tiber suggested, after waking with a jolt for the fifth time that evening.
"Yeah, and then we'll get an early start!" Aliya added brightly to an unconvinced looking Sasha, who frowned but yawned in spite of herself.
"G'night!" Gavin agreed brightly, already at home in a biobed. They'd been lead into a room that the grumpy doctor had called 'Château du Kirk', so it was only fitting that Tiber got first pick of a bed. Tiber was never one to take the 'easy' or 'practical' way out, so rather than simply asking for another cot, he resolved to spend the night on the floor while little Sasha and Aliya shared the pull out mattress-sofa. He considered himself a chivalrous young man, willing to make noble sacrifices for his friends' comfort.
Aliya expressed her gratitude with a sleepy, "You'll freeze you idiot.", before giving up and sinking into oblivion.
She was right. The ground was hard and Tiber found himself shivering before long. He tucked his legs into his star fleet issue p.j.s before falling asleep in the fetal position. He dreamed of his mother's warm familiar smelling bed.
****
When he awoke, Tiber was alone in the room though the evidence of his companions' presence remained scattered over the room-- a broken teleportable was laying open and in several pieces by Gavin's bed, one of Sasha's light blue hair-ribbons had fallen under the pull-out bed and now lay at the edge of the couch. Then, there was Aliya's journal, laying invitingly on the nightstand.
She'd kill him slowly and painfully if she knew what he was doing. It felt like an invasion of privacy; it was an invasion of privacy, a majorly awful, thoughtless, inconsiderate, irresponsible invasion of privacy; but the thrill of the crime was half of the fun. He was sweating with adrenaline by the time he finished scanning the first page, and then he closed the book and tried his best not to run out of the room.
The writing had been detailed and honest, and very much Aliya.
Told Mother about Sasha's minor crisis, and she was unsurprisingly unsurprised. Father and I had a secret conversation over dinner and it took all of my restraint not to laugh. Mother had company over; just some old gossiping friends of hers, aunties with outrageous fingernails and unnatural hair. While they "I know"-ed sympathetically over so-and-so's misfortunes with the usual barely contained glee of hearing bad news, Father and I projected our thoughts across the table.
He was thinking "so-and-so must appreciate their concern" sarcastically, while I mentally mimicked their "how terrrrrrible!", when Tiber called and asked to come over. He sounded strange over the phone, and I judged that he was in a worse way than he was letting on, so I excused myself from dinner in the most nauseatingly polite and girly way possible, since those women only hear me when I speak in a high girly voice two octaves above tolerable, and he was already at the back door.
It was raining like the dickens and he was only wearing a thin school zip-up sweater and his jeans were holding a small lakes worth of precipitation. I wanted to hug him so badly when I saw his face, that empty expression he gets sometimes when things get too bad and his mind has to get away for a while. It scared me to see him like that, and I couldn't look at him after that, even when his clothes were in the dryer and he was sitting wrapped up in one of my bath robes looking like a tired drag-prince, I couldn't. But, then he asked me what time it was, and I did and then I burst out laughing at the sight of him, and he turned red and fidgeted like he wanted to be somewhere else. I felt terrible release as I laughed, it was crazy laughter, sort of unfunny and frightening in a way, and he saw it was too but he still looked uncomfortable, and then somewhere in-between I started crying too, and then I was sobbing and clutching the hem of that ridiculous pink robe and wishing everyone downstairs would go home and stop laughing and pretending to care about people they hated, that everything was good in the world, and my brother would come home from college and my mother would stop looking into his room like somebody died in there, and then I just wanted it all to be better for Tiber and that he still had a dad and his mom wouldn't drink anymore and he'd never come to school in clothes that were worn out and unwashed, that he'd never have to walk to my house in the rain because his mom was passed out drunk and wouldn't open the door to the house. I wished with all my heart that Tiber could be happy, and prayed to all the gods I knew, and then Tiber was petting my head like I was the one who had been locked out of the house and had no father.
He couldn't read anymore after that. There was a bathroom not far from the room, and he ducked in before anyone could see him and know that he'd been crying. He waited for a long time in front of the mirror and didn't go to breakfast until he was completely sure that the redness was gone from his face.
****
Sasha was chattering animatedly to a young ensign while Aliya sipped hot cocoa out of a star fleet mug with a vacant early-morning look. Gavin was attempting to stuff a foot-long sub into his mouth while following every word of a conversation held by group of engineering crew.
"You're up early." Aliya greeted Tiber, with a tired smile that was unusual to see on such a young face. "Did you see the doctor?" He hadn't. "Well, he was looking for you earlier, so you'd better see if you can catch him. It sounded pretty important."
He snorted. "Probably thinks I'm not bonding enough."
"With whom?"
"My dad."
Sasha stopped talking and turned around to stare, and Gavin choked on a hunk of bread.
"Your dad?" Aliya said, skeptically. "You mean to say that you've met your dad?"
Tiber looked away uncomfortably. "Well, yeah... I kind of had to."
"Tiber! You weren't supposed to do anything that might jeopardize the timeline!"
"Honestly, Aliya, we interrupted the timeline the moment we set foot on this ship. It's not like we didn't see the possibility. And, what we do here, " he made a general sweeping motion with his arms, "doesn't mean anything to us."
"What do you mean?" Aliya said, icily. "Of course it does. Anything we do here could disrupt the timeflow if we're not careful. One wrong move and -poof!- we're gone, never even existed. What the hell do you think you're saying?"
"Ali, listen to me. This isn't the same place that we came from. We're in a parallel universe of some sort. I wouldn't ever have existed here, even if we hadn't come."
"And, how could you know that? My parents are here, Sasha and Gavin have both seen their dads, of course this is the right place! You've seen your dad, what could possibly indicate to you that we are anywhere but the past?"
"My mum isn't here."
"Have you double checked your dates? Maybe she's not here yet? Maybe you just don't recognize her, or something. It's a big ship, you couldn't know that for sure."
"I've checked the computer."
"Again, she might not be here now, but she might be later."
"That doctor? We've done testing on my DNA and compared it to the rest of the crew. The tests show that that doctor has to be my mum's identical twin... except he's a male and doesn't have a sister. There's no record of my mum in star fleet, but that doctor is everywhere she should be. He's filled in all the gaps, date of birth... major events, everything. My mum doesn't exist...and he's filled in her place in this timeline. Don't you get it, Ali? We don't make any difference here as far as our futures are concerned...this isn't our past."
Gavin sprang to his feet, upsetting a glass of replicated orange juice. "That's it!"
"What's it?" Aliya said, irritably as she attempted to keep the pool of oj from reaching her side of the table.
"We're in a parallel universe!" He explained excitedly in a conspiratorial hush. "I cannae believe it... but it's th' only thing tha makes any sense!"
"And what, pray tell, are you basing your conclusion on?"
Gavin babbled incoherently as he attempted to sketch out his theory on the back of a napkin. And so-and-so's theory of such-and-such was "rubbish!" and, finally, he breathed. "And tha's why we cannae go home! It's a wee bit premature tae say th' least, but it's jist beginnin' to tae make any sense in ma ain head! Jist some time tae gie intae th' details an' we'll see exactly why we woond up here!"
"Slow down! Speak English!" Aliyah demanded, impatiently. Gavin's accent always grew more pronounced when he was excited, and he became near indecipherable at times.
"In simple terms: there isnae anythin' wrong wi' our teleportables, in thes universe we haven' got nowhere tae go back tae! Th' teleportables willnae take us tae place tha don't exist!"
"In other words, we're fucked." Tiber translated, helpfully.
"I wanna go home." Sasha whimpered.
Aliya sighed. "Time to think."
****
Pretending not to know their parents proved a challenge, especially for Sasha who was terribly homesick and wished nothing more than to curl up in Hikaru Sulu's arms. Seeing her father, a younger version of her father as he was, only made her miss home even more. It was like the man was there just to remind her that she was far away from home and might never see her own father again. Her mother was nowhere to be found, and this was a relief and worried her at the same time. What if she never existed?
Sasha's eyes filled with tears before she could stop them when she thought about her parents. She hated looking like a baby, but she couldn't help it.
"It's going to be fine, Sasha. Gavin is working it all out now, we'll be home in no time." Aliya said in a soothing voice that had no place in even a quarter-vulcan. Aliya was incredible like that. Sasha wished she had a sister like Aliya, but then remembered that Aliya was already her sister at heart, and she felt warmer and less alone for a while.
***
Sasha cornered the Captain one day, using her doll-like charm alone to buy herself a moment. "You're lonely." She said with a surprised little crinkle of the brow. "You're on a ship full of people who adore you, people who would die for you."
"Excuse me?"
"You were just speaking with your best friend in the world, but you are filled with loneliness. Why are you so sad?" Sasha sunk to her knees, grimacing as if in physical pain. "You love him, but you are so sad with him. You don't make any sense..."
"Who?" Kirk's face betrayed his alarm, while his voice remained even.
"Your grumpy doctor. You're different around him, he makes you happy but you're always so sad about him. What is it about the doctor that makes you so sad?"
"I don't know what you mean." Kirk tried to lie, but his uneasy stance betrayed him. Sasha could read body language too well to miss the instant of sadness that had flashed across his face before he could produce a smile.
"You can't hide it from me, you know. You're feelings are very pronounced, they're practically yelling at this very moment. It's almost like you're pining away for someone...like Tiber feels sometimes when he misses something that he is missing in his life, like when his mother talks about you, actually, and he sees you but knows he can never be your son, because you aren't there. It's like you are sick with want for something you can never had that is just out of reach, it feels so hopeless... does he remind you of someone or..." She lifted a tiny hand and placed it on the Captain's chest, like she was feeling his pulse. "...it's him isn't it?"
"Who? What do you mean?" He played innocent in a light joking manner, but there was something else behind it that Sasha could see clearly now. The color had drained from his face, and he was angling his body in the way one does as they are planning an escape.
"That doctor." She blinked, as if seeing him for the first time. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"
****
Those days were hell for Tiber, who was used to taking charge of the situation. Not only did he feel helpless with his fate in the hands of another person; even a trusted one like Gavin; but he felt completely useless. He moped around the ship like a depressed Zombie, annoying everyone in his path. Eventually, Gavin got the brilliant idea to enlist the help of the ship's chief engineer. But, then again that man also happened to be Gavin's father who wasn't supposed to know of his existence, so maybe it was a second rate idea, but it was the only one they had left.
"You do realize this is our only hope, Tiberius?" Aliya said coldly. "If we don't try it there is absolutely zero chance of our returning home? That means we're stuck here forever... am I getting through to you yet?"
"Yeah, I wasn't aware of that, thank you Captain Obvious. You're a huge help." Tiber quipped.
"Then, we'd better try it, dontcha think?"
"What happened to 'ohhh we gotta save the timeline it's soooo important!'? Do we just walk up to the man and say 'hey dude, we need help fixing our time machine! d'ya think you could take time out of your schedule to help us out? oh and by the way, that kid who looks and sounds exactly like you, he's just a random kid, no relation to you or anything.'. That's real discreet!"
"Well, it's better than being stuck here for the rest of our lives!"
"Right, I forgot, you've got parents to go home to."
"Tiber." Aliya sighed. "I know it's hard for you... you've just met your father, and you've never had that before. But, your mom loves you and she'd be devastated if you never came home."
"Wanna bet?" Tiber snapped. "Sorry." His head dropped into his hands like it was magnetized. "I shouldn't be taking this out on you guys. You've been amazing. I really don't deserve anything you've done for me, but I can't go back there." He seemed surprised as he said it, and stunned as he said it again, "I can't go back with you. I don't have a home to go back to."
There was pain in Aliya's eyes and Tiber hated himself intensely for putting it there, just as he hated himself for admitting that he no longer had a place to call home, that he was selfish enough to abandon that sad woman who'd poured her sorrows into raising him and who loved him somewhere deep inside of that booze filled heart. He owed so much but couldn't repay anything without owing more. It hurt, realizing that he'd had all of this inside without even knowing it, maybe he'd always felt homeless at home. Maybe he even felt at home here, even as he hated it.
"The stars are so beautiful." Aliya said, after they'd been silent a long time. Her big eyes were filled with the reflections of millions of little suns, in the dark of the abandoned observation deck. Her hands lay loose in her lap, within reach.
"Yeah. They really are." Tiber said.