FIC - Five Things That Never Happened to Nyota
Title: Everything Feels Like the Movies, or Five Things that Never Happened to Nyota
Author: breebree16
Characters/Pairings:Nyota, Nyota/Spock
Rating: R
Warnings: some angst, frank discussion of a miscarriage.
Summary: A while back I did a story that was Five Things that Never Happened to Spock, and now this is the flip side, five things that never happened to Nyota Uhura (XI version).
A/N: There is one tie-in from Spock's five things, but you don't have to read it to get it.
i. you are the place where i find peace again
This is the happiest day of her life, she decides. To be alive, here on Earth on this day in June. And on top of all that she is getting married. Nyota is nineteen years old, wild and free. She has been living out of her parent's home for a year, went to school for at least a year just like they wanted her to. Their mistake, because that is where she met him. She had told her parents about him, gushed about him to her roommate. He is a little older than her, five years exactly. He thrills her in ways that no one else ever had. He understands her, it's like they've known each other their whole lives and yet she has never met anyone like him before. It's not because he's half human and half Vulcan--he doesn't even act very Vulcan from what she knows. Sure he has his moments, he generally weighs logic against his emotions, but in the end, it is always the emotions that win which is why they are in a car heading to Las Vegas--but there is something else. Mom and Dad won't be happy, she knows this, but she can't wipe the smile off her face.
They were almost there, she can see the lights just over the hill. She bites her bottom lip and reaches over to squeeze his hand. He grins and turns slightly to her. "Excited?"
"How can I not be?" she answers and looks back out the window at the desert. The sun is setting and the sky is dark purple, indigo and stars are starting to shine. Some day she'll be up there with them, but how could that be better than this moment, right here and now?
The city itself is like a star. Bright and glaring that she has to squint. Music flows out of every building like water into the streets and she is not sure which way they are going. He parks the car at the first chapel on the right. In fancy script it reads 'chapel o love' above the enterence of the door. She gets out and can hardly stand still. She's wearing a short white dress with matching shoes. He doesn't know, but she even has a lacy garter on her thigh and frilly white undies for the occasion. He comes up be hind her and she hears the car 'beep' with its locking.
"You forgot your flowers," he tells her and hands her the bouquet of purple lilies.
She takes them from him. "Thank you." She stops to smell them. Alive here and now, she thinks.
"This is completely illogical," he says out loud. There it is, that Vulcan thinking, that in any other circumstances would have stopped them from this journey.
She nods. "I know." She puts the flowers down for a moment and turns to straighten his tie and brush the bangs off his forehead. You wouldn't know he was Vulcan unless you saw his ears. "But isn't that why we're doing this? Don't you love me?"
"Of course," he answers without question or a beat.
"Spend forever with me?"
"That's a silly question."
She kisses him like she never has before, like she is trying to give him life. He holds her tight around the waist, bunching up her dress a bit. "All right," he says when she pulls back. "Lets go." He picks up her flowers. She fixes her dress and the go inside. It's three in the morning and they don't have to wait. The receptionist is their witness. Nyota would have brought Gaila with her, but this was too special. It had to just be the two of them.
The preacher is dressed in garish and flashing clothing. The vows are quick, short and sweet and to the point.
"I do," Nyota says. She always imagined a veil, but that's okay.
"I do," says Spock.
"By the power invested in my I now pronounce you husband and wife." The flashy preacher closes his bible and puts his hands together. "You may now kiss the bride."
Spock smiles when he does and she throws her arms around his neck as they share their first kiss as husband and wife. The witness throws paper petals in the air and a cheesy wedding theme plays as they sign the paper work and slip silver rings on each other's fingers. The receptionist takes their picture and a few minutes later it prints out with the emblem: Nyota and Spock Grayson married June the Third. They are given a complementary bottle of cheap wine. They toast in the parking lot, sipping from paper cups. Her heart feels as if it will burst. "I love you," she says.
"And I you," he answers and kisses her forehead.
They go to a hotel down the street and as they walk through reception she tosses the bouquet. A little girl with her family checking out catches it. She lets the little girl keep it. She has all ready taken a few flowers out and wears them in her hair. They hold hands in the lift. She will send her parents a message when the weekend is over and they go back home. He will tell his mother and father as well. "I've never been so happy," she tells him when they reach the room.
"Me either," he answers with a smile and kisses her again.
ii. everything's made to be broken
"I can't do this," she tells him as she is packing her bags. "Not after what you did." She stuffs the suitcase angrily.
"Nyota," he says. He tries to calm her. He does not want her to leave, but how can he stop her? She has a mind of her own that is what he loves.
She zips up the suitcase and goes for the door. He follows her and puts a hand on her shoulder. "Don't go," he whispers. "I was only doing what was asked of me. It is you that I belong with."
She kisses him, one last time, on the lips. When she pulls away he sees her sadness, a tear running down her cheek. "I'm sorry. We just can't."
She walks out the door. This kills her, it really does. But how can she stay with a man who went off planet to mate with another woman?
iii. living is easy with eyes closed
They come out of hyperspace into a world of broken ships and explosions. The ship shakes and the bottom part of the ship is blown off. It is only a matter of minutes before the entirety Farragat is torn to shreds by this unknown enemy. Nyota thinks about crying, but does not. In the face of death what good does crying do? She walks the shaking hall quietly. People around her are running and screaming. She stumbles a few times. She comes to a computer, she wants to send out a message but finds nothing in the system is working. It's just as well she thinks.
She finds a port hole to watch. She sees bodies float by, from the bottom deck probably. Why did he put her on this ship? She wonders. She doesn't want him to feel guilty, how was he to have known? She holds her breath and the ship breaks apart, right under feet.
***
When the Enterprise comes out of hyperspace and Spock sees the floating debris, when chunks of ship hit theirs and Sulu is struggling to maneuver the ship through it, he feels sick. He asks Chekhov to search for survivors. He says there are none. No distress singles, no escape pods launched. "We were too late commander," the younger man explains.
Half an hour later, he looses his mother and Spock struggles to find a reason why he should keep on living.
iv. everything feels like the movies
They had tried for so long and this is what they get? Nyota lies in medical with an IV and monitors. She tries not to feel too badly. It wasn't that long, only three months. She barely had enough time to get used to the idea of being pregnant before the miscarriage. They could try again, couldn't they? But right now she feels empty and wants to cry. She does a little bit, tears that come down her face but without a sob. They had to remove part of it, part of the embryo, her body didn't get rid of it on its own. McCoy has drawn the curtains so no one on ship will see her. It's what she wants. He tells her that it will take a few weeks for her body to get used to it, not having the baby anymore, for the hormones to dissipate.
"Thank you, Leonard," she said. She sniffled and wiped under her eyes.
"We're here if you need anything." He puts a heavy hand on her shoulder. She curls up on her side. It was an hour after the anesthesia wore off a little bit before McCoy allowed Spock to come back. He cleared every non-essential personal away. Curtains don't block out sound.
"Lieutenant?" McCoy says and pokes his head in. "The Commander is here to see you."
She swallows. She is very parched and can't stop drinking. "All right," she says. "Let him in." She attempts to sit up and does but she is still on her side. She reaches for her water. Spock pulls the curtain back and then closes it.
Most people can't read him. He doesn't smile much and frowns even less. She's only heard him laugh once. But she knows, she can tell. He has human eyes and they tell her what he is feeling. There is sadness, he is unsteady. He comes closer to her and kneels next to the bed. "Are you in pain?" he asks.
She shakes her head. "No, a little." Her body doesn't really hurt, but there is the tightness in her chest. "Can you just sit here?" she asks. "I don't want to talk, I just, I want you to sit with me."
"Of course." He kisses her forehead and sits on the edge of the bed. He holds her while she cries into his chest. She doesn't have much strength, but she grips him as tightly as her body will allow. He strokes her hair and tries to contain his own emotion. He feels like breaking things or even screaming as unlike him as it would be. It is different when a child, or a supposed child is involved. Like Nyota, he feels that he all ready loved the child even though it wasn't here yet. But he doesn't say anything. He knows that right now his loss is not important, but his chest hurts too.
Nyota is thankful he is here. She tries to grip tighter, tugging at his uniform. "It will be okay," he says. He is told this is how humans try to comfort each other, but he is instantly afraid he has said the wrong thing.
She nods. She cries some more and doesn't let go of him, not even after she has cried herself to sleep.
v. you're everything
Twenty years old, Nyota Grayson is celebrating her first wedding anniversary. She tells him that she is pregnant. They are happy.
Author: breebree16
Characters/Pairings:Nyota, Nyota/Spock
Rating: R
Warnings: some angst, frank discussion of a miscarriage.
Summary: A while back I did a story that was Five Things that Never Happened to Spock, and now this is the flip side, five things that never happened to Nyota Uhura (XI version).
A/N: There is one tie-in from Spock's five things, but you don't have to read it to get it.
i. you are the place where i find peace again
This is the happiest day of her life, she decides. To be alive, here on Earth on this day in June. And on top of all that she is getting married. Nyota is nineteen years old, wild and free. She has been living out of her parent's home for a year, went to school for at least a year just like they wanted her to. Their mistake, because that is where she met him. She had told her parents about him, gushed about him to her roommate. He is a little older than her, five years exactly. He thrills her in ways that no one else ever had. He understands her, it's like they've known each other their whole lives and yet she has never met anyone like him before. It's not because he's half human and half Vulcan--he doesn't even act very Vulcan from what she knows. Sure he has his moments, he generally weighs logic against his emotions, but in the end, it is always the emotions that win which is why they are in a car heading to Las Vegas--but there is something else. Mom and Dad won't be happy, she knows this, but she can't wipe the smile off her face.
They were almost there, she can see the lights just over the hill. She bites her bottom lip and reaches over to squeeze his hand. He grins and turns slightly to her. "Excited?"
"How can I not be?" she answers and looks back out the window at the desert. The sun is setting and the sky is dark purple, indigo and stars are starting to shine. Some day she'll be up there with them, but how could that be better than this moment, right here and now?
The city itself is like a star. Bright and glaring that she has to squint. Music flows out of every building like water into the streets and she is not sure which way they are going. He parks the car at the first chapel on the right. In fancy script it reads 'chapel o love' above the enterence of the door. She gets out and can hardly stand still. She's wearing a short white dress with matching shoes. He doesn't know, but she even has a lacy garter on her thigh and frilly white undies for the occasion. He comes up be hind her and she hears the car 'beep' with its locking.
"You forgot your flowers," he tells her and hands her the bouquet of purple lilies.
She takes them from him. "Thank you." She stops to smell them. Alive here and now, she thinks.
"This is completely illogical," he says out loud. There it is, that Vulcan thinking, that in any other circumstances would have stopped them from this journey.
She nods. "I know." She puts the flowers down for a moment and turns to straighten his tie and brush the bangs off his forehead. You wouldn't know he was Vulcan unless you saw his ears. "But isn't that why we're doing this? Don't you love me?"
"Of course," he answers without question or a beat.
"Spend forever with me?"
"That's a silly question."
She kisses him like she never has before, like she is trying to give him life. He holds her tight around the waist, bunching up her dress a bit. "All right," he says when she pulls back. "Lets go." He picks up her flowers. She fixes her dress and the go inside. It's three in the morning and they don't have to wait. The receptionist is their witness. Nyota would have brought Gaila with her, but this was too special. It had to just be the two of them.
The preacher is dressed in garish and flashing clothing. The vows are quick, short and sweet and to the point.
"I do," Nyota says. She always imagined a veil, but that's okay.
"I do," says Spock.
"By the power invested in my I now pronounce you husband and wife." The flashy preacher closes his bible and puts his hands together. "You may now kiss the bride."
Spock smiles when he does and she throws her arms around his neck as they share their first kiss as husband and wife. The witness throws paper petals in the air and a cheesy wedding theme plays as they sign the paper work and slip silver rings on each other's fingers. The receptionist takes their picture and a few minutes later it prints out with the emblem: Nyota and Spock Grayson married June the Third. They are given a complementary bottle of cheap wine. They toast in the parking lot, sipping from paper cups. Her heart feels as if it will burst. "I love you," she says.
"And I you," he answers and kisses her forehead.
They go to a hotel down the street and as they walk through reception she tosses the bouquet. A little girl with her family checking out catches it. She lets the little girl keep it. She has all ready taken a few flowers out and wears them in her hair. They hold hands in the lift. She will send her parents a message when the weekend is over and they go back home. He will tell his mother and father as well. "I've never been so happy," she tells him when they reach the room.
"Me either," he answers with a smile and kisses her again.
ii. everything's made to be broken
"I can't do this," she tells him as she is packing her bags. "Not after what you did." She stuffs the suitcase angrily.
"Nyota," he says. He tries to calm her. He does not want her to leave, but how can he stop her? She has a mind of her own that is what he loves.
She zips up the suitcase and goes for the door. He follows her and puts a hand on her shoulder. "Don't go," he whispers. "I was only doing what was asked of me. It is you that I belong with."
She kisses him, one last time, on the lips. When she pulls away he sees her sadness, a tear running down her cheek. "I'm sorry. We just can't."
She walks out the door. This kills her, it really does. But how can she stay with a man who went off planet to mate with another woman?
iii. living is easy with eyes closed
They come out of hyperspace into a world of broken ships and explosions. The ship shakes and the bottom part of the ship is blown off. It is only a matter of minutes before the entirety Farragat is torn to shreds by this unknown enemy. Nyota thinks about crying, but does not. In the face of death what good does crying do? She walks the shaking hall quietly. People around her are running and screaming. She stumbles a few times. She comes to a computer, she wants to send out a message but finds nothing in the system is working. It's just as well she thinks.
She finds a port hole to watch. She sees bodies float by, from the bottom deck probably. Why did he put her on this ship? She wonders. She doesn't want him to feel guilty, how was he to have known? She holds her breath and the ship breaks apart, right under feet.
***
When the Enterprise comes out of hyperspace and Spock sees the floating debris, when chunks of ship hit theirs and Sulu is struggling to maneuver the ship through it, he feels sick. He asks Chekhov to search for survivors. He says there are none. No distress singles, no escape pods launched. "We were too late commander," the younger man explains.
Half an hour later, he looses his mother and Spock struggles to find a reason why he should keep on living.
iv. everything feels like the movies
They had tried for so long and this is what they get? Nyota lies in medical with an IV and monitors. She tries not to feel too badly. It wasn't that long, only three months. She barely had enough time to get used to the idea of being pregnant before the miscarriage. They could try again, couldn't they? But right now she feels empty and wants to cry. She does a little bit, tears that come down her face but without a sob. They had to remove part of it, part of the embryo, her body didn't get rid of it on its own. McCoy has drawn the curtains so no one on ship will see her. It's what she wants. He tells her that it will take a few weeks for her body to get used to it, not having the baby anymore, for the hormones to dissipate.
"Thank you, Leonard," she said. She sniffled and wiped under her eyes.
"We're here if you need anything." He puts a heavy hand on her shoulder. She curls up on her side. It was an hour after the anesthesia wore off a little bit before McCoy allowed Spock to come back. He cleared every non-essential personal away. Curtains don't block out sound.
"Lieutenant?" McCoy says and pokes his head in. "The Commander is here to see you."
She swallows. She is very parched and can't stop drinking. "All right," she says. "Let him in." She attempts to sit up and does but she is still on her side. She reaches for her water. Spock pulls the curtain back and then closes it.
Most people can't read him. He doesn't smile much and frowns even less. She's only heard him laugh once. But she knows, she can tell. He has human eyes and they tell her what he is feeling. There is sadness, he is unsteady. He comes closer to her and kneels next to the bed. "Are you in pain?" he asks.
She shakes her head. "No, a little." Her body doesn't really hurt, but there is the tightness in her chest. "Can you just sit here?" she asks. "I don't want to talk, I just, I want you to sit with me."
"Of course." He kisses her forehead and sits on the edge of the bed. He holds her while she cries into his chest. She doesn't have much strength, but she grips him as tightly as her body will allow. He strokes her hair and tries to contain his own emotion. He feels like breaking things or even screaming as unlike him as it would be. It is different when a child, or a supposed child is involved. Like Nyota, he feels that he all ready loved the child even though it wasn't here yet. But he doesn't say anything. He knows that right now his loss is not important, but his chest hurts too.
Nyota is thankful he is here. She tries to grip tighter, tugging at his uniform. "It will be okay," he says. He is told this is how humans try to comfort each other, but he is instantly afraid he has said the wrong thing.
She nods. She cries some more and doesn't let go of him, not even after she has cried herself to sleep.
v. you're everything
Twenty years old, Nyota Grayson is celebrating her first wedding anniversary. She tells him that she is pregnant. They are happy.