Fic: Feeds The Fire. Pro/? StarTrek XI
Title: Feeds The Fire
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek.
Characters: Spock, Chekov, Uhura, Sarek, Kirk, Sulu, McCoy.
Words: 1352 - This Part
Prompt: A shuttle crash leads to complications.
Fandom: Star Trek: XI - Redux
Pairing: Spock/Nyota, Spock/Chekov
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Language, Violence, Angst, Minor Character Deaths, Sexual Violence.
Summary: Loss has left everyone scarred. Pavel and Spock share a common pain that eats at their lives. Thrown together by a greater circumstance, can they survive the fallout?
Author's Note: This is going to be a long fic, novella length.
_________________________________________
Prologue: Two Days After The Destruction of Vulcan.
He could hear them cheering. There was no need to look up to confirm it. They had been celebrating for hours and would be at it for several more. Pavel knew better than to join them. It didn't matter, he wasn't welcome even if he wanted to.
Just keep his head down was what his parents had told him. Why could he not have listened to that one piece of sage advice? Nothing good ever came of someone who stepped out ahead of the crowd.
Someone always had to pay the price for hubris. His mother always warned him of such things. This time it had been another's mother who paid his debt. That burden would always weigh upon his mind.
Eyes on the floor, he navigated his way through the gathering crew. They were still being drawn like flies to the party in the Primary Rec Room. What they had to celebrate was beyond him. It seemed disrespectful to him for people to be drinking and carrying on when so many lives had been lost recently.
Yet, no one else seemed to care.
If he hadn't needed something to eat he wouldn't have come out of his quarters. The other two Ensigns he bunked with didn't have that problem.
Reaching up, Pavel wiped away the moisture from his cheeks with the back of his hand. Why he even had to do it in the first place was another thing he couldn't fathom. He was a man now, an officer in StarFleet. Strength was part of him. He needed to remain firm.
He was starting down another corridor when one of the people heading his way didn't step aside. Ordinarily, he would have made an excuse and stepped around them. But this was no ordinary person in front of him. For starters, the person was wearing a robe.
As he drew nearer the person he debated whether he should look up. It was not in his best interest right now to confront one of the Vulcans. Pavel ran out of time before he could decide either way. Stopping a foot away from the other man he looked up automatically.
His heart stopped at the sight that greeted him. It was a man that he had only met once in his life, but Pavel would never forget his face. He took a shuddering breath, then licked his dry lips. "Forgive me, sir."
Sarek held a bemused expression. "There is no need for you to apologize. It is I that has blocked your path."
Unable to hold the elder Vulcan's gaze, Pavel flushed and glanced down.
Holding up a hand, Sarek forestalled the young man's objection. "I will not hold you from your duty for long, young man. I merely wish to express my gratitude for saving mine and many lives."
"I do not need your gratitude." Cheeks burning, the Ensign felt his eyes bug out at what he said. How could he have been so stupid as to speak without thinking first? "I mean, I'm not worthy of it. Not after what I did. Please forgive me, Mr. Sarek."
Putting a hand over his eyes, he quickly shuffled to the side. "I apologize for being rude. Please excuse me." A quick check revealed there was no one in his way. There was at least one miracle. He sprinted quickly down the corridor.
"Young man?" The Vulcan's voice chased after, drawing more than a few heads.
He didn't care. All Pavel wanted to do was get back to his quarters where he could lay in his bunk and wait for death. Certainly he wasn't the first Ensign to make such a rude mistake. But none of those others survived to make Lieutenant if they were stupid enough to stick around to make it worse.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Staring down at the tray of food in front of him, Spock studied the varied selection. It was not that they were unappetizing. Some were even among his favorites. Eating just lacked the usual appeal. Many of his normal daily activities held the same quality.
There was no big mystery reason. Spock and any person who thought about it could fathom the answer. Yet, he preferred not to dwell on the matter.
That didn't leave him with many options of interest. They were important, yes, but he did not feel interested in pursuing them. It was illogical, as they were part of his duties. He was the acting commanding officer of a Star Ship.
His first thoughts should be to the welfare of his crew, not how much he loathed simply being here. That was uncharitable and inappropriate. He was a good officer. Confidence and perseverance were the two traits required in any position of command.
By showing weakness, he was not being the best officer for his people. Spock was no fool, he knew that a lack of appetite was a sign of weakness. It showed to his crew that he was troubled. And no matter how much he might be, he could not reveal it.
Movement on the opposite side of the table drew his attention.
Sarek eased himself down in an open chair. Even as he settled in his face was marred by a slight frown.
Raising an eyebrow, Spock set aside his own ponderings. "You appear troubled. Is there a problem?"
"I do not believe it to be so." Aware of the other's scrutiny, Sarek composed his features to one of more serene. "I had an encounter with that young man who saved our lives two days ago."
Spock's eyes narrowed as his focus turned completely to his father. "What of Ensign Chekov?" He did a good job at hiding his anger in his opinion.
This caused the older man to sigh. "There is nothing to concern yourself with at this moment. He is merely troubled that I would thank him."
"Ah." Reaching for his glass, Spock used the action to mask his satisfaction. Vindictiveness was not only unbecoming an officer, it was beneath a Vulcan as well. Half Vulcans too. "It is understandable that he would be reticent about receiving false praise."
Unlike his son, Sarek had not looked away from the other. He had instead utilized the moments to study him and his reactions. "It was not false. I am truly grateful to Mr. Chekov and wished to express this."
After swallowing down a mouthful of Orange Juice, Spock licked his lips. "There was no need. He performed his duties adequately."
"Why do I sense that adequacy is almost an obscenity in your repertoire?" Sarek's own eyebrows were raised at his question.
"Because this is StarFleet, Sarek." Even as he spoke, Spock would not meet the other's gaze. He did not feel he had to. There was ample understanding between them. "An officer is above average and should be held to that in every situation."
"Not every person can compete with your high standards." Sarek lowered his voice as he noticed members of the crew watching them. "They are merely human."
Spock's eyes went directly to his father's. "My mother was merely human." Matching the elder's vocal level, he added a little unrestrained anger. "Yet, you married her."
"Not yet, my son, or in spite of." As he took a breath, Sarek grew distant in his own thoughts. "That was but a part of the woman I proudly called my wife. Every part of our relationship spoke of the great will and strength she possessed."
"Mother was a strong woman indeed." A sad smile flitted across Spock's lips before he brought himself under control.
"Her son shares that trait in common with her." Holding his head high, Sarek folded his hands in front of him. The ring on his finger caught the light. "I shall miss her presence in my life and my mind."
"Is it permissible to grieve, father?" When he did not get a response, Spock glanced over. He found the older man studying the ring on his finger. Closing his eyes, Spock knew that he had his answer.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek.
Characters: Spock, Chekov, Uhura, Sarek, Kirk, Sulu, McCoy.
Words: 1352 - This Part
Prompt: A shuttle crash leads to complications.
Fandom: Star Trek: XI - Redux
Pairing: Spock/Nyota, Spock/Chekov
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Language, Violence, Angst, Minor Character Deaths, Sexual Violence.
Summary: Loss has left everyone scarred. Pavel and Spock share a common pain that eats at their lives. Thrown together by a greater circumstance, can they survive the fallout?
Author's Note: This is going to be a long fic, novella length.
_________________________________________
Prologue: Two Days After The Destruction of Vulcan.
He could hear them cheering. There was no need to look up to confirm it. They had been celebrating for hours and would be at it for several more. Pavel knew better than to join them. It didn't matter, he wasn't welcome even if he wanted to.
Just keep his head down was what his parents had told him. Why could he not have listened to that one piece of sage advice? Nothing good ever came of someone who stepped out ahead of the crowd.
Someone always had to pay the price for hubris. His mother always warned him of such things. This time it had been another's mother who paid his debt. That burden would always weigh upon his mind.
Eyes on the floor, he navigated his way through the gathering crew. They were still being drawn like flies to the party in the Primary Rec Room. What they had to celebrate was beyond him. It seemed disrespectful to him for people to be drinking and carrying on when so many lives had been lost recently.
Yet, no one else seemed to care.
If he hadn't needed something to eat he wouldn't have come out of his quarters. The other two Ensigns he bunked with didn't have that problem.
Reaching up, Pavel wiped away the moisture from his cheeks with the back of his hand. Why he even had to do it in the first place was another thing he couldn't fathom. He was a man now, an officer in StarFleet. Strength was part of him. He needed to remain firm.
He was starting down another corridor when one of the people heading his way didn't step aside. Ordinarily, he would have made an excuse and stepped around them. But this was no ordinary person in front of him. For starters, the person was wearing a robe.
As he drew nearer the person he debated whether he should look up. It was not in his best interest right now to confront one of the Vulcans. Pavel ran out of time before he could decide either way. Stopping a foot away from the other man he looked up automatically.
His heart stopped at the sight that greeted him. It was a man that he had only met once in his life, but Pavel would never forget his face. He took a shuddering breath, then licked his dry lips. "Forgive me, sir."
Sarek held a bemused expression. "There is no need for you to apologize. It is I that has blocked your path."
Unable to hold the elder Vulcan's gaze, Pavel flushed and glanced down.
Holding up a hand, Sarek forestalled the young man's objection. "I will not hold you from your duty for long, young man. I merely wish to express my gratitude for saving mine and many lives."
"I do not need your gratitude." Cheeks burning, the Ensign felt his eyes bug out at what he said. How could he have been so stupid as to speak without thinking first? "I mean, I'm not worthy of it. Not after what I did. Please forgive me, Mr. Sarek."
Putting a hand over his eyes, he quickly shuffled to the side. "I apologize for being rude. Please excuse me." A quick check revealed there was no one in his way. There was at least one miracle. He sprinted quickly down the corridor.
"Young man?" The Vulcan's voice chased after, drawing more than a few heads.
He didn't care. All Pavel wanted to do was get back to his quarters where he could lay in his bunk and wait for death. Certainly he wasn't the first Ensign to make such a rude mistake. But none of those others survived to make Lieutenant if they were stupid enough to stick around to make it worse.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Staring down at the tray of food in front of him, Spock studied the varied selection. It was not that they were unappetizing. Some were even among his favorites. Eating just lacked the usual appeal. Many of his normal daily activities held the same quality.
There was no big mystery reason. Spock and any person who thought about it could fathom the answer. Yet, he preferred not to dwell on the matter.
That didn't leave him with many options of interest. They were important, yes, but he did not feel interested in pursuing them. It was illogical, as they were part of his duties. He was the acting commanding officer of a Star Ship.
His first thoughts should be to the welfare of his crew, not how much he loathed simply being here. That was uncharitable and inappropriate. He was a good officer. Confidence and perseverance were the two traits required in any position of command.
By showing weakness, he was not being the best officer for his people. Spock was no fool, he knew that a lack of appetite was a sign of weakness. It showed to his crew that he was troubled. And no matter how much he might be, he could not reveal it.
Movement on the opposite side of the table drew his attention.
Sarek eased himself down in an open chair. Even as he settled in his face was marred by a slight frown.
Raising an eyebrow, Spock set aside his own ponderings. "You appear troubled. Is there a problem?"
"I do not believe it to be so." Aware of the other's scrutiny, Sarek composed his features to one of more serene. "I had an encounter with that young man who saved our lives two days ago."
Spock's eyes narrowed as his focus turned completely to his father. "What of Ensign Chekov?" He did a good job at hiding his anger in his opinion.
This caused the older man to sigh. "There is nothing to concern yourself with at this moment. He is merely troubled that I would thank him."
"Ah." Reaching for his glass, Spock used the action to mask his satisfaction. Vindictiveness was not only unbecoming an officer, it was beneath a Vulcan as well. Half Vulcans too. "It is understandable that he would be reticent about receiving false praise."
Unlike his son, Sarek had not looked away from the other. He had instead utilized the moments to study him and his reactions. "It was not false. I am truly grateful to Mr. Chekov and wished to express this."
After swallowing down a mouthful of Orange Juice, Spock licked his lips. "There was no need. He performed his duties adequately."
"Why do I sense that adequacy is almost an obscenity in your repertoire?" Sarek's own eyebrows were raised at his question.
"Because this is StarFleet, Sarek." Even as he spoke, Spock would not meet the other's gaze. He did not feel he had to. There was ample understanding between them. "An officer is above average and should be held to that in every situation."
"Not every person can compete with your high standards." Sarek lowered his voice as he noticed members of the crew watching them. "They are merely human."
Spock's eyes went directly to his father's. "My mother was merely human." Matching the elder's vocal level, he added a little unrestrained anger. "Yet, you married her."
"Not yet, my son, or in spite of." As he took a breath, Sarek grew distant in his own thoughts. "That was but a part of the woman I proudly called my wife. Every part of our relationship spoke of the great will and strength she possessed."
"Mother was a strong woman indeed." A sad smile flitted across Spock's lips before he brought himself under control.
"Her son shares that trait in common with her." Holding his head high, Sarek folded his hands in front of him. The ring on his finger caught the light. "I shall miss her presence in my life and my mind."
"Is it permissible to grieve, father?" When he did not get a response, Spock glanced over. He found the older man studying the ring on his finger. Closing his eyes, Spock knew that he had his answer.