specific destiel post season 11 fic (found)
I've been looking for a specific fic for a couple months and can't find it.
It's on ao3, most likely mature, +20k, and takes place after season 11. Human!Cas. The author went "f it" to canon, and Sam wasn't kidnapped, nor is Mary back. Cas is missing, then Sam and Dean find a John Doe in a hospital matching Cas' description. They go pick him up in the hospital. Cas goes through a long check-up, and has a moment where he runs his hands through his hair in the bathroom. (this sounds strange, but trust me, it's important). They take him back to the Bunker, and everything is sunshine and rainbows for a few weeks.
Then Cas leaves the Bunker 'cause he has a job or something. Cas comes back, but keeps leaving without answering their calls that much. Dean is suspicious but Sam says there's nothing to worry about. Dean follows Cas one day, and turns out he's working at a Gas N' Sip and is trying to get money... for something.
Cas visits the Bunker every couple weeks, and each time he's wearing a new knitted hat. Due to a slip-up, Dean is jealous and thinks Cas is hooking up with a girl named Erin, but really Erin is actually Aaron, a doctor Cas has been seeing, because he has cancer that Aaron has been treating. Cas is going through chemo and whatnot and doesn't want to be a burden to Sam and Dean. There's some scenes lengthy scenes where Cas is throwing up and can barely stand and Dean is supporting him. Cas has numerous chairs set up in his room bc he can't walk more than a few steps. He only eats crackers and drinks a lil' bit of water. Dean cries, and that's how far I got.
It's a delicious slow burn, with a ton of angst, and I didn't get around to finishing it, so help finding it would be appreciated.
It's on ao3, most likely mature, +20k, and takes place after season 11. Human!Cas. The author went "f it" to canon, and Sam wasn't kidnapped, nor is Mary back. Cas is missing, then Sam and Dean find a John Doe in a hospital matching Cas' description. They go pick him up in the hospital. Cas goes through a long check-up, and has a moment where he runs his hands through his hair in the bathroom. (this sounds strange, but trust me, it's important). They take him back to the Bunker, and everything is sunshine and rainbows for a few weeks.
Then Cas leaves the Bunker 'cause he has a job or something. Cas comes back, but keeps leaving without answering their calls that much. Dean is suspicious but Sam says there's nothing to worry about. Dean follows Cas one day, and turns out he's working at a Gas N' Sip and is trying to get money... for something.
Cas visits the Bunker every couple weeks, and each time he's wearing a new knitted hat. Due to a slip-up, Dean is jealous and thinks Cas is hooking up with a girl named Erin, but really Erin is actually Aaron, a doctor Cas has been seeing, because he has cancer that Aaron has been treating. Cas is going through chemo and whatnot and doesn't want to be a burden to Sam and Dean. There's some scenes lengthy scenes where Cas is throwing up and can barely stand and Dean is supporting him. Cas has numerous chairs set up in his room bc he can't walk more than a few steps. He only eats crackers and drinks a lil' bit of water. Dean cries, and that's how far I got.
It's a delicious slow burn, with a ton of angst, and I didn't get around to finishing it, so help finding it would be appreciated.