specific fic: hurt sam/dark/evil dean character: sam, dean, lilith, other
Hello! I've been nearly tearing out my hair and putting out my eyes for months trying to find a fic I read last year. Don't even remember which fan site I read it on, grr! LOL. I remember that Dean's back from Hell because Lilith has said she'll cancel his contract if he kills Sam for her. Dean, not yet a demon, is still full of rage at Sam for not saving him and wants revenge, so agrees. He hasn't become a demon, but with some of Lilith's tricks (like black eyes, etc.) convinces Sam he is. Lilith wants Dean to kill Sam slowly, but Dean's rage makes him lose control at first and when Sam goads and provokes him (wanting Dean to just end him because he's so sad at what Dean's become) I think he stabs Sam, almost killing him? He then takes him and tortures him, cutting and slicing him while Sam is chained up, I think? Every time Sam gets close to death, a healer comes and patches him up enough to let Dean keep going. But Dean eventually begins battling his emotions and conflicted feelings about killing his brother. Lilith's implanted fake memories of Sam betraying Dean and being glad of his death, etc. but he begins to wonder if they're really true. Finally, (as he's about to go ahead and kill Sam I think?) he, if I remember right, happens to notice his amulet on Sam, which he has a fake memory from Lilith about Sam tossing it away (or destroying it?). He's angry and confused, and asks a barely-coherent Sam about it. Sam tells him something about that he kept it because it was all he had left to remind him of Dean. Dean realizes he's been used and tricked by Lilith, and determines to get Sam to safety. I don't remember all that happens then, but I remember Dean getting Sam to use what's left of his psychic powers to break his cuffs or chains, but I think Dean ends up getting hurt somehow too? Anyway, it seems like Bobby and some of the other characters ambush the place and set off some kind of bomb or explosion and get them out. Before they escape, I think Dean kills Lilith. Afterward, Dean has horrible guilt from what he did to Sam, but Sam helps him through it, showing him how he'd kept all Dean's belongings in hopes that he could save Dean from Hell. The story ends on a hopeful, happy note. Sorry I can't remember more details! If anyone can find this I will love you forever LOL! Thanks!