Into My Soul [NC-17] for perfumaniac
Title: Into My Soul
Author/Artist: hearditbothways
Recipient: perfumaniac
Pairing: Castiel/Lucifer
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: kinda!angel!incest
Disclaimer: NOT CANON, NOT MINE, DON'T SUE.
Summary: Castiel and Lucifer meet. Again.
Notes: I had a lot of trouble with this fic (which is why it came so late) and basically rewrote the whole thing 4 times and was almost giving up but the just wrote what was in my head and so this happened.
geckoholic was a brilliant and quick beta and I probably owe her my life right now.
And thank you mods for hosting this and putting up with me even when I'm a pain in the ass! :)
"Castiel, I never wanted this for you."
Castiel turned his head to the side to avoid the gaze of his brother. The brother he hadn't seen for centuries, millenia even. An eternity, the world was just beginning the last time they met.
"Lucifer-"
"Shh."
The next thing Castiel felt was Lucifer's hands on his shoulder, although he was sure his brother didn't even move.
It felt strange and foreign. He was still not used to this body and certainly not to his brother being so close to him. He had never seen him in this vessel before. If it wasn't for the eyes, Castiel still wouldn't be sure that he knew this man.
He could remember the last meeting like yesterday. An angel's mind, even in a human vessel, worked differently than a man's mind. Castiel remembered everything. The fear, the hate, the love.
"I never wanted this for you, you know? I always hoped this could have been avoided. You know I love you." Lucifer said.
Castiel still tried to avoid looking at Lucifer, he didn't want to get sucked into his gaze again. Like so many times before.
"Then just stop.", he whispered. "You can stop it now. It doesn't have to end like this. You can stop this."
Almost desperate, Castiel pleaded for Lucifer to stop the madness he had created.
"You know I can't do that. Look around you. The war has already begun, it can't be stopped now. But once it's over this land will be paradise again. Do you remember paradise, Castiel?"
Yes, Castiel remembered paradise. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. A human habit of his.
"Don't."
All of the sudden, Lucifer's right hand was on Castiel's chest and he cupped his face with his other hand, forcing Castiel to look at him.
"Open your eyes."
Castiel looked at his brother reluctantly. He saw what no human could see, saw the beauty of Lucifer, the angel. Not Lucifer, the devil, God's enemy.
"What do you want from me?"
Lucifer snorted, a very human gesture, as if Castiel should know what he wanted from him.
"I want to save you. I want you to love me again. You know that."
"No, Lucifer, I don't."
Suddenly, hate creeped into Castiel's voice. Something seemed to awake in him, made him remember who was standing in front of him.
"You caused all these humans pain, you betrayed your family and your father. You want to destroy this world and because of what? Your pride? I won't let you."
Apparently Lucifer did not expect this kind of reaction. He took a step back and eyed Castiel suspiciously.
"You have been hanging out with those humans too much. Sam and Dean. Their humanity rubbed off on you."
Now it was Castiel who snorted, then shrugged.
"Maybe I have, maybe I just grew up!"
In an instant Lucifer was in front of him again, smiling. It was grotesque to see the vessel, Nick, wearing a smile in a situation like this, knowing it was not him who smiled.
"You did."
Lucifer didn't say more. He just looked at Castiel. Did he wait for a reaction? Did he expect Castiel to vanish? Neither of them spoke for a long while. A tension built that even the emotionally-illiterate Castiel couldn't deny anymore. Then, without any kind of warning Lucifer leaned forward and kissed Castiel.
Abruptly Castiel wanted to jump backwards, shove Lucifer away from him but Lucifer held his arm tight, didn't let him move even one inch.
When Lucifer moved away from him, which took a few seconds, Castiel looked at him with an expression of shock and disgust.
"Do you remember now?" Lucifer's voice was soft, kind of taunting.
Castiel didn't move and he didn't say a word, but both of them knew that he did remember.
This wasn't comparable with anything that ever happened between them, however long ago it might have been. So much time had passed, so many things he had seen since then.
Maybe it was the human in him, maybe it was Castiel himself but in the middle of this awkward tension between them Castiel leaned forward and kissed his brother back.
It certainly wasn't the kiss of an angel; it was a kiss of a human, of a lover, full of love, full of lust, but full of hate as well. It was desperation that had prompted it. He had missed his brother, there was no denying it.
At the same time, it was a brutal kiss. Much more brutal than any human could have handled. Teeth crushing, lips bruising, scruff scratching.
The next thing he knew Castiel was pushed against the wall and Lucifer slid his hand under his shirt touching his stomach.
It was strange. Castiel constantly reminded himself that it wasn't his own body and that the feelings he felt probably weren't his own. Nevertheless they were good. A fluttery feeling that seemed to have it's origin in his stomach but even reached his face.
It was a heat. Castiel knew what it was like to feel hot, but this was different. It seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
"Lose the coat." Lucifer commanded.
And Castiel did. He freed his arms from the trench-coat and let it fall to the floor. Lucifer grabbed his tie and pulled him closer, into another kiss. A moment later the tie also fell to the floor.
"Touch me." It was more of a moan but Castiel could understand Lucifer's voice clearly.
Castiel was new to this but he just did the same thing Lucifer did. He let his hands slide under Lucifer's shirt and stroked his stomach, slid up further and felt the nipples against his palms.
Was this what humans felt like? Was this why Dean constantly had sex? If so, then Castiel could totally understand why. It was an incredible feeling. All those emotions, and movements and feelings.
His entire body felt like it was on fire.
Lucifer took off his shirt and Castiel needed a moment to take in what he saw.
He put his hand out to touch the hair on Lucifer's chest but after a second he decided against it and just started to kiss him. Then he started to lick and even to bite softly in the warm skin.
Lucifer made sounds of pleasure and Castiel decided that he must like it so he didn't stop.
In the meantime Lucifer continued to undress Castiel who lost the sensation of the shirt against his skin. The cold breeze of the unheated room gave him goosebumps.
With every movement they made, the violence in their act lessened and a certain familarity took it's place. Even though Castiel still felt new and uncomfortable in his body and didn't know all those human reactions he began to be more confident in exploring.
When he put his hands down the front of Lucifer's pants and touched his hard cock Lucifer exhaled with a sharp hiss and Castiel looked up, curious.
Lucifer shook his head.
"Continue."
It was more a command than anything else but Castiel didn't care. He put his hand back and stroked again, amazed by the anatomy but at the same time anxious to feel the same. So anxious that he didn't realize that he looked for some kind of friction by rubbing his crotch on Lucifer's leg.
Castiel looked down when he realized that, and Lucifer stopped kissing his chest and looked at his face. It seemed as there was some kind understanding and Lucifer took Castiel's wrists, held them in his hands, and kissed him.
Castiel didn't understand what he was doing when Lucifer kneeled down and pulled his pants down.
Castiel took a look at his own cock - Jimmy's, he reminded himself. It was hard and thick and Castiel just wanted to touch it.
But Lucifer saw his movement and held onto his wrists again.
"No." He simply said and had a devious smile on his lips. "I'm gonna do it."
When Lucifer's lips touched the tip of Castiel's cock, Castiel threw his head back and moaned loudly. He felt some kind of strong pull behind his testicles which he probably would've enjoyed more if it hadn't been so new to him. In that moment, though, he had to look down and watch Lucifer working his cock with his mouth.
The wet warmth gave him a wonderful feeling in his stomach and his knees started to become weak. He was glad he was standing against a wall; otherwise he might have collapsed.
"This-" He wasn't able to say more because the next thing he felt was Lucifer licking and sucking and ohmygodwhatwashappening?
Castiel closed his eyes again. He didn't know what to do with his hands so he just put them into Lucifer's hair, feeling the vibrations coming from his body, the movement and the force he needed to suck Castiel's dick.
Then Castiel felt something else happening. The feeling just got stronger and stronger and Castiel bit his lip and then came so hard that he had to hold on to Lucifer's hair.
"Some kind of warning would've been nice." Lucifer said, grinning, after Castiel's breathing had went back to normal a few minutes later.
Castiel had sat down, just looking at his brother who sat in front of him.
"I - shall I-" Castiel tried to form a coherent sentence but just gestured towards Lucifer's crotch.
Lucifer shook his head. "No."
Castiel took a deep breath. "Why?" He somehow felt hurt. Didn't Lucifer think he could? Didn't he think Castiel was able to return the love?
"Because you're mine now. And you will return to me. Soon."
Then he vanished in front of Castiel's eyes, and suddenly Castiel remembered why he was here: How he was protecting Dean and Sam from Lucifer, how he wished his brother would finally be killed so they could have peace again. On earth and in heaven.
And he knew Lucifer was right.
Author/Artist: hearditbothways
Recipient: perfumaniac
Pairing: Castiel/Lucifer
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: kinda!angel!incest
Disclaimer: NOT CANON, NOT MINE, DON'T SUE.
Summary: Castiel and Lucifer meet. Again.
Notes: I had a lot of trouble with this fic (which is why it came so late) and basically rewrote the whole thing 4 times and was almost giving up but the just wrote what was in my head and so this happened.
geckoholic was a brilliant and quick beta and I probably owe her my life right now.
And thank you mods for hosting this and putting up with me even when I'm a pain in the ass! :)
"Castiel, I never wanted this for you."
Castiel turned his head to the side to avoid the gaze of his brother. The brother he hadn't seen for centuries, millenia even. An eternity, the world was just beginning the last time they met.
"Lucifer-"
"Shh."
The next thing Castiel felt was Lucifer's hands on his shoulder, although he was sure his brother didn't even move.
It felt strange and foreign. He was still not used to this body and certainly not to his brother being so close to him. He had never seen him in this vessel before. If it wasn't for the eyes, Castiel still wouldn't be sure that he knew this man.
He could remember the last meeting like yesterday. An angel's mind, even in a human vessel, worked differently than a man's mind. Castiel remembered everything. The fear, the hate, the love.
"I never wanted this for you, you know? I always hoped this could have been avoided. You know I love you." Lucifer said.
Castiel still tried to avoid looking at Lucifer, he didn't want to get sucked into his gaze again. Like so many times before.
"Then just stop.", he whispered. "You can stop it now. It doesn't have to end like this. You can stop this."
Almost desperate, Castiel pleaded for Lucifer to stop the madness he had created.
"You know I can't do that. Look around you. The war has already begun, it can't be stopped now. But once it's over this land will be paradise again. Do you remember paradise, Castiel?"
Yes, Castiel remembered paradise. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. A human habit of his.
"Don't."
All of the sudden, Lucifer's right hand was on Castiel's chest and he cupped his face with his other hand, forcing Castiel to look at him.
"Open your eyes."
Castiel looked at his brother reluctantly. He saw what no human could see, saw the beauty of Lucifer, the angel. Not Lucifer, the devil, God's enemy.
"What do you want from me?"
Lucifer snorted, a very human gesture, as if Castiel should know what he wanted from him.
"I want to save you. I want you to love me again. You know that."
"No, Lucifer, I don't."
Suddenly, hate creeped into Castiel's voice. Something seemed to awake in him, made him remember who was standing in front of him.
"You caused all these humans pain, you betrayed your family and your father. You want to destroy this world and because of what? Your pride? I won't let you."
Apparently Lucifer did not expect this kind of reaction. He took a step back and eyed Castiel suspiciously.
"You have been hanging out with those humans too much. Sam and Dean. Their humanity rubbed off on you."
Now it was Castiel who snorted, then shrugged.
"Maybe I have, maybe I just grew up!"
In an instant Lucifer was in front of him again, smiling. It was grotesque to see the vessel, Nick, wearing a smile in a situation like this, knowing it was not him who smiled.
"You did."
Lucifer didn't say more. He just looked at Castiel. Did he wait for a reaction? Did he expect Castiel to vanish? Neither of them spoke for a long while. A tension built that even the emotionally-illiterate Castiel couldn't deny anymore. Then, without any kind of warning Lucifer leaned forward and kissed Castiel.
Abruptly Castiel wanted to jump backwards, shove Lucifer away from him but Lucifer held his arm tight, didn't let him move even one inch.
When Lucifer moved away from him, which took a few seconds, Castiel looked at him with an expression of shock and disgust.
"Do you remember now?" Lucifer's voice was soft, kind of taunting.
Castiel didn't move and he didn't say a word, but both of them knew that he did remember.
This wasn't comparable with anything that ever happened between them, however long ago it might have been. So much time had passed, so many things he had seen since then.
Maybe it was the human in him, maybe it was Castiel himself but in the middle of this awkward tension between them Castiel leaned forward and kissed his brother back.
It certainly wasn't the kiss of an angel; it was a kiss of a human, of a lover, full of love, full of lust, but full of hate as well. It was desperation that had prompted it. He had missed his brother, there was no denying it.
At the same time, it was a brutal kiss. Much more brutal than any human could have handled. Teeth crushing, lips bruising, scruff scratching.
The next thing he knew Castiel was pushed against the wall and Lucifer slid his hand under his shirt touching his stomach.
It was strange. Castiel constantly reminded himself that it wasn't his own body and that the feelings he felt probably weren't his own. Nevertheless they were good. A fluttery feeling that seemed to have it's origin in his stomach but even reached his face.
It was a heat. Castiel knew what it was like to feel hot, but this was different. It seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
"Lose the coat." Lucifer commanded.
And Castiel did. He freed his arms from the trench-coat and let it fall to the floor. Lucifer grabbed his tie and pulled him closer, into another kiss. A moment later the tie also fell to the floor.
"Touch me." It was more of a moan but Castiel could understand Lucifer's voice clearly.
Castiel was new to this but he just did the same thing Lucifer did. He let his hands slide under Lucifer's shirt and stroked his stomach, slid up further and felt the nipples against his palms.
Was this what humans felt like? Was this why Dean constantly had sex? If so, then Castiel could totally understand why. It was an incredible feeling. All those emotions, and movements and feelings.
His entire body felt like it was on fire.
Lucifer took off his shirt and Castiel needed a moment to take in what he saw.
He put his hand out to touch the hair on Lucifer's chest but after a second he decided against it and just started to kiss him. Then he started to lick and even to bite softly in the warm skin.
Lucifer made sounds of pleasure and Castiel decided that he must like it so he didn't stop.
In the meantime Lucifer continued to undress Castiel who lost the sensation of the shirt against his skin. The cold breeze of the unheated room gave him goosebumps.
With every movement they made, the violence in their act lessened and a certain familarity took it's place. Even though Castiel still felt new and uncomfortable in his body and didn't know all those human reactions he began to be more confident in exploring.
When he put his hands down the front of Lucifer's pants and touched his hard cock Lucifer exhaled with a sharp hiss and Castiel looked up, curious.
Lucifer shook his head.
"Continue."
It was more a command than anything else but Castiel didn't care. He put his hand back and stroked again, amazed by the anatomy but at the same time anxious to feel the same. So anxious that he didn't realize that he looked for some kind of friction by rubbing his crotch on Lucifer's leg.
Castiel looked down when he realized that, and Lucifer stopped kissing his chest and looked at his face. It seemed as there was some kind understanding and Lucifer took Castiel's wrists, held them in his hands, and kissed him.
Castiel didn't understand what he was doing when Lucifer kneeled down and pulled his pants down.
Castiel took a look at his own cock - Jimmy's, he reminded himself. It was hard and thick and Castiel just wanted to touch it.
But Lucifer saw his movement and held onto his wrists again.
"No." He simply said and had a devious smile on his lips. "I'm gonna do it."
When Lucifer's lips touched the tip of Castiel's cock, Castiel threw his head back and moaned loudly. He felt some kind of strong pull behind his testicles which he probably would've enjoyed more if it hadn't been so new to him. In that moment, though, he had to look down and watch Lucifer working his cock with his mouth.
The wet warmth gave him a wonderful feeling in his stomach and his knees started to become weak. He was glad he was standing against a wall; otherwise he might have collapsed.
"This-" He wasn't able to say more because the next thing he felt was Lucifer licking and sucking and ohmygodwhatwashappening?
Castiel closed his eyes again. He didn't know what to do with his hands so he just put them into Lucifer's hair, feeling the vibrations coming from his body, the movement and the force he needed to suck Castiel's dick.
Then Castiel felt something else happening. The feeling just got stronger and stronger and Castiel bit his lip and then came so hard that he had to hold on to Lucifer's hair.
"Some kind of warning would've been nice." Lucifer said, grinning, after Castiel's breathing had went back to normal a few minutes later.
Castiel had sat down, just looking at his brother who sat in front of him.
"I - shall I-" Castiel tried to form a coherent sentence but just gestured towards Lucifer's crotch.
Lucifer shook his head. "No."
Castiel took a deep breath. "Why?" He somehow felt hurt. Didn't Lucifer think he could? Didn't he think Castiel was able to return the love?
"Because you're mine now. And you will return to me. Soon."
Then he vanished in front of Castiel's eyes, and suddenly Castiel remembered why he was here: How he was protecting Dean and Sam from Lucifer, how he wished his brother would finally be killed so they could have peace again. On earth and in heaven.
And he knew Lucifer was right.