Safety is Relative 1/2tahirireJune 21 2010, 02:45:44 UTC
Dean doesn't just move right in.
That would be presumptive, and weird, and not just a little pathetic. He has the beer. They talk. She cries, and she says she doesn't know what she's crying for. He tells her it's okay, and then he wipes a hand over his face and laughs bitterly. She understands. He tells her goodnight. She begs him not to go, and he says it won't be far, or for long, if that's okay with her. She looks afraid, but she nods her consent.
He drives back to the motel and gets lit.
She comes and finds him two days later, staring blankly at I Love Lucy reruns with his .45 in one hand and a bottle in the other, and she doesn't say a word. She picks up the remote, flicks the TV off, sets the gun on the bedside table, hauls him forward, and aims him at the shower.
That night they have an actual dinner, and when he leaves, the look in her eyes tells him that if he knows what's good for him, he'll be back tomorrow.
When he gets there, she isn't home. He figures maybe she's driving the kid to school. He doesn't even know what month it is. The days since he ... well, time hasn't been moving at its normal rate of speed this year. He could break in, but it would feel wrong to him, so he sits in the driveway and waits.
The Impala is quiet and still, and the longer he sits there, the more uncomfortable he becomes. He doesn't sit with her anymore, not really. There is too much space, and the silence echoes in the chasm he has gnawing on his spirit, and it reminds him of the Void, and everything is too black and too still and too empty without Sam.
He climbs out and leans across the roof instead, eying Lisa's house. It's a nice place. She's done a real good job on turning it into a home. Old ghosts whisper to him, telling him that this isn't a good idea, him thinking about staying around here.
"It's safe, you know."
Dean nearly jumps out of his skin.
"Dammit, Cas!" He growls, clutching at the doorframe for support. He turns to level a harsh stare at the angel. "What?"
Castiel presses his lips together in sympathy. Dean wants to deck him. "This residence. It is safe. I ... thought you should know."
Dean studies the ground. It turned out the reason Cas sucked hard at goodbyes is because he couldn't seem to stay gone for more than a few weeks at a time. It should be good to see him now, considering his news, but Dean doesn't want him there.
If they had bothered to watch over him this way when he was young, if they had cared when Sam was at college, if anyone could have ...
The temptation is too great, and his need for Sam still too strong to just stand there and chit-chat with an all-powerful Archangel that can travel back in time about helping him now when there is so much he wishes he could change about then.
Cas knows that, too. The knowledge only makes it harder - for both of them.
Dean nods, grateful in spite of his resentment - for Lisa and Ben's sake.
"Thanks, Cas," he manages, but when he looks up again, the angel is already gone.
Lisa makes it back not long after that, and she lets him in. Dean can't see the sigils on the walls or feel the barriers of power at the edges of the property, but he trusts that they exist, and he finds himself relaxing fractionally as they talk.
Re: Safety is Relative 2/2tahirireJune 21 2010, 02:46:06 UTC
Lisa goes jogging early every morning, and she does most of her deep thinking then. It's been weeks since Dean showed up on her doorstep. He comes around a lot, but he's not ready for more than that, not yet.
She rounds a corner and passes Diane's driveway, tossing out a cheerful hello wave at her neighbor as she goes. Diane waves her over. She looks upset, and Lisa stops at the mailbox to see what's wrong.
"Lisa, sweetheart," Diane says, reaching out and taking both of her hands, "How have you been? We've all been worried about you."
Lisa smiles politely in spite of her confusion. Diane is the head of the neighborhood watch, and Lisa is getting a sinking feeling in her gut. "What do you mean?"
Diane leans in conspiratorially. "That young man that you've been ... the one with the black car?"
Lisa drops Diane's hands abruptly, crossing her arms and nodding. "His name is Keith," she states. "What about him?"
Diane looks flustered, as if she has said something wrong. "I'm so sorry, dear ... I don't mean to intrude, but ... I've known a few young women in the past who have gotten involved with ..." The woman actually looks pained now, as though she wants Lisa to read her mind instead of making her spit it out in plain English.
"Involved with what?" Lisa asks, her voice dripping intentional naiveté.
Diane's face flushes to match her hair. "Honey, men like him ..." She sighs, putting on her no-nonsense voice. "I've seen the bottles, sweetheart. I've seen that black car all hours of the night. I know he's living in a hotel. I'm just saying ... if you need anyone ..." she gathers up some courage. "You just call me and Tom, okay? Men like that ... they aren't safe."
Lisa counts to ten, surprised at the rage she feels in Dean's defense. Then she counts back down from ten and remembers that Diane is only trying to help.
She opens her mouth and finds that her throat is tight with emotion. She goes ahead and lets the tears swell to the edges of her eyelids. Why not.
"His name is Keith, and he's a cop. He saved my son's life. I owe him ... everything. And he just lost his partner, and he needs some time to deal."
Diane's eyes widen.
"You're right. He's the most dangerous man you'll ever meet. And there is no one on this planet I would rather trust my son's life to. So thank you for your concern, but we'll be fine."
Lisa pats Diane on the arm, pulls her headset out of her pocket and puts it on. She flips her iPod to Ramblin' On and goes on with her jog.
Re: Safety is Relative 2/2tabaquiJune 21 2010, 15:01:47 UTC
Oooooooh, oh oh. Yis. Damnit. I love Castiel as the cat who came back.... And yis, *different*. Ah, man - i've got my own coda rattling around in my head and you are going to *make me write it*. *flails*
I love that he's *not* living there, and that she came looking for him, and that they both know it's not right, yet. Maybe never. *sniffle*
Re: Safety is Relative 2/2tabaquiJune 21 2010, 15:08:52 UTC
Yeah, it seems a bit weird. I mean - yes, Dean's gonna keep his promise, but he's not totally blind, here. Lisa has a life and a *kid* - she's not gonna go 'whoo, yeah, c'mon in! party time!'
He still drinks like crazy, doesn't sleep, will have even *more* nightmares now....
Re: Safety is Relative 2/2windscryerAugust 7 2010, 18:22:04 UTC
And I thought the first part broke me... *cracks, then shatters*
You are far too good at this delicious angsty stuff. I know, this isn't REALLY angsty for you, but it's like... Cotton candy made out of fiberglass.
Sure it LOOKS all sweet and pink and fluffy, but when your swallow it down, it leaves little jagged cuts everywhere that ache inside you for days.
I love how Cas just can't leave it alone (even as I wonder if he regrets not being there to prevent it like Dean hates him for) and how Dean is all conflicted, but semi-tame in the face of people who insist on caring.
(I particularly like how Canon put him in this position of desperately seeking out a family to belong to. I can't help but think that he would have really wanted it even without Sam's poking and that was just the perfect excuse to go after it. He is SUCH a little pack puppy! *glomps*)
AND THEN THIS PART. GUH. *GLOMPLES LISA AND DOESN'T LET GO*
*confesses dark!sekrit* I have loved a lot of the girls they've had for Dean. (Not Cassie, but pretty much everyone else.) Lise, though, is probably my favorite. And this little vote of confidence in her just warmed my little heart! *tackles you too*
And now you totally make me want to try this comment!fic for myself even more.
I just need to find a good quote and I'll try my hand at it.
Re: Safety is Relative 2/2tahirireAugust 7 2010, 18:37:32 UTC
Yay, you got sucked into our meme!!! :D
Sorry about your weekend.
I've like most of Dean's girls, too. I've always liked Lisa, and I liked Jamie a lot as well, and of course I loved Jo, even though she never quite made it there, I think she will always have a special place in the echelon. ♥
But yeah, Lisa has my vote, has ever since s3. :)
And dude - if you keep coming up with phrases like cotton candy made out of fiberglass, you can TOTALLY do this comment fic thing!
We've already had 2 people write their first fic ever over here, it makes me happy to be encouraging new talent. :) :)
Re: Safety is Relative 2/2windscryerAugust 7 2010, 18:47:27 UTC
YAY I GOT SUCKED INTO THE MEME!
I didn't really have plans. Nothing more important than this, anyway.
Oooooh, I ADORED Jaime. If he can't have Lisa and Ben, I'd totally want Jaime! (And Jo was the reason I first watched. I was REALLY hoping for something there. Happily, Show has many other HAWT SEXY SCARY AWESOME good reasons to watch so I stayed on even when the Jo angle fizzled out.)
I was SO happy when they got that last moment before she died, though! *flails*
HAHA 'Cotton candy made out of fiberglass' is probably the most inspired thing I've said in a good long while. But I'll try again just for you. :)
That would be presumptive, and weird, and not just a little pathetic. He has the beer. They talk. She cries, and she says she doesn't know what she's crying for. He tells her it's okay, and then he wipes a hand over his face and laughs bitterly. She understands. He tells her goodnight. She begs him not to go, and he says it won't be far, or for long, if that's okay with her. She looks afraid, but she nods her consent.
He drives back to the motel and gets lit.
She comes and finds him two days later, staring blankly at I Love Lucy reruns with his .45 in one hand and a bottle in the other, and she doesn't say a word. She picks up the remote, flicks the TV off, sets the gun on the bedside table, hauls him forward, and aims him at the shower.
That night they have an actual dinner, and when he leaves, the look in her eyes tells him that if he knows what's good for him, he'll be back tomorrow.
When he gets there, she isn't home. He figures maybe she's driving the kid to school. He doesn't even know what month it is. The days since he ... well, time hasn't been moving at its normal rate of speed this year. He could break in, but it would feel wrong to him, so he sits in the driveway and waits.
The Impala is quiet and still, and the longer he sits there, the more uncomfortable he becomes. He doesn't sit with her anymore, not really. There is too much space, and the silence echoes in the chasm he has gnawing on his spirit, and it reminds him of the Void, and everything is too black and too still and too empty without Sam.
He climbs out and leans across the roof instead, eying Lisa's house. It's a nice place. She's done a real good job on turning it into a home. Old ghosts whisper to him, telling him that this isn't a good idea, him thinking about staying around here.
"It's safe, you know."
Dean nearly jumps out of his skin.
"Dammit, Cas!" He growls, clutching at the doorframe for support. He turns to level a harsh stare at the angel. "What?"
Castiel presses his lips together in sympathy. Dean wants to deck him. "This residence. It is safe. I ... thought you should know."
Dean studies the ground. It turned out the reason Cas sucked hard at goodbyes is because he couldn't seem to stay gone for more than a few weeks at a time. It should be good to see him now, considering his news, but Dean doesn't want him there.
If they had bothered to watch over him this way when he was young, if they had cared when Sam was at college, if anyone could have ...
The temptation is too great, and his need for Sam still too strong to just stand there and chit-chat with an all-powerful Archangel that can travel back in time about helping him now when there is so much he wishes he could change about then.
Cas knows that, too. The knowledge only makes it harder - for both of them.
Dean nods, grateful in spite of his resentment - for Lisa and Ben's sake.
"Thanks, Cas," he manages, but when he looks up again, the angel is already gone.
Lisa makes it back not long after that, and she lets him in. Dean can't see the sigils on the walls or feel the barriers of power at the edges of the property, but he trusts that they exist, and he finds himself relaxing fractionally as they talk.
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She rounds a corner and passes Diane's driveway, tossing out a cheerful hello wave at her neighbor as she goes. Diane waves her over. She looks upset, and Lisa stops at the mailbox to see what's wrong.
"Lisa, sweetheart," Diane says, reaching out and taking both of her hands, "How have you been? We've all been worried about you."
Lisa smiles politely in spite of her confusion. Diane is the head of the neighborhood watch, and Lisa is getting a sinking feeling in her gut. "What do you mean?"
Diane leans in conspiratorially. "That young man that you've been ... the one with the black car?"
Lisa drops Diane's hands abruptly, crossing her arms and nodding. "His name is Keith," she states. "What about him?"
Diane looks flustered, as if she has said something wrong. "I'm so sorry, dear ... I don't mean to intrude, but ... I've known a few young women in the past who have gotten involved with ..." The woman actually looks pained now, as though she wants Lisa to read her mind instead of making her spit it out in plain English.
"Involved with what?" Lisa asks, her voice dripping intentional naiveté.
Diane's face flushes to match her hair. "Honey, men like him ..." She sighs, putting on her no-nonsense voice. "I've seen the bottles, sweetheart. I've seen that black car all hours of the night. I know he's living in a hotel. I'm just saying ... if you need anyone ..." she gathers up some courage. "You just call me and Tom, okay? Men like that ... they aren't safe."
Lisa counts to ten, surprised at the rage she feels in Dean's defense. Then she counts back down from ten and remembers that Diane is only trying to help.
She opens her mouth and finds that her throat is tight with emotion. She goes ahead and lets the tears swell to the edges of her eyelids. Why not.
"His name is Keith, and he's a cop. He saved my son's life. I owe him ... everything. And he just lost his partner, and he needs some time to deal."
Diane's eyes widen.
"You're right. He's the most dangerous man you'll ever meet. And there is no one on this planet I would rather trust my son's life to. So thank you for your concern, but we'll be fine."
Lisa pats Diane on the arm, pulls her headset out of her pocket and puts it on. She flips her iPod to Ramblin' On and goes on with her jog.
She doesn't look back.
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I loved Lisa's answer to her neighbor!
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I did? What was different about it? (I haven't read but like 3 5.22 codas, lol)
I think Lisa is a tough chick. :)
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*flails*
I love that he's *not* living there, and that she came looking for him, and that they both know it's not right, yet. Maybe never.
*sniffle*
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Ah, man - i've got my own coda rattling around in my head and you are going to *make me write it*.
Yay! Write away!!!!
Honestly, it never crossed my mind that he would just up and move in. I'm not sure why everyone seems to think he did. *ponderface*
I think that by the time Sam comes back he will have, of course. Just not that first day, not that first week - maybe not for a long time.
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He still drinks like crazy, doesn't sleep, will have even *more* nightmares now....
*goes off to open Word*
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:)
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True, Dean most likely would not care - but on the other hand, Diane is probably a demon, so ... ;)
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You are far too good at this delicious angsty stuff. I know, this isn't REALLY angsty for you, but it's like... Cotton candy made out of fiberglass.
Sure it LOOKS all sweet and pink and fluffy, but when your swallow it down, it leaves little jagged cuts everywhere that ache inside you for days.
I love how Cas just can't leave it alone (even as I wonder if he regrets not being there to prevent it like Dean hates him for) and how Dean is all conflicted, but semi-tame in the face of people who insist on caring.
(I particularly like how Canon put him in this position of desperately seeking out a family to belong to. I can't help but think that he would have really wanted it even without Sam's poking and that was just the perfect excuse to go after it. He is SUCH a little pack puppy! *glomps*)
AND THEN THIS PART. GUH. *GLOMPLES LISA AND DOESN'T LET GO*
*confesses dark!sekrit* I have loved a lot of the girls they've had for Dean. (Not Cassie, but pretty much everyone else.) Lise, though, is probably my favorite. And this little vote of confidence in her just warmed my little heart! *tackles you too*
And now you totally make me want to try this comment!fic for myself even more.
I just need to find a good quote and I'll try my hand at it.
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Sorry about your weekend.
I've like most of Dean's girls, too. I've always liked Lisa, and I liked Jamie a lot as well, and of course I loved Jo, even though she never quite made it there, I think she will always have a special place in the echelon. ♥
But yeah, Lisa has my vote, has ever since s3. :)
And dude - if you keep coming up with phrases like cotton candy made out of fiberglass, you can TOTALLY do this comment fic thing!
We've already had 2 people write their first fic ever over here, it makes me happy to be encouraging new talent. :) :)
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I didn't really have plans. Nothing more important than this, anyway.
Oooooh, I ADORED Jaime. If he can't have Lisa and Ben, I'd totally want Jaime! (And Jo was the reason I first watched. I was REALLY hoping for something there. Happily, Show has many other HAWT SEXY SCARY AWESOME good reasons to watch so I stayed on even when the Jo angle fizzled out.)
I was SO happy when they got that last moment before she died, though! *flails*
HAHA 'Cotton candy made out of fiberglass' is probably the most inspired thing I've said in a good long while. But I'll try again just for you. :)
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