CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS // REAL PEOPLE Prompts Post // July 1 - 15

Jul 01, 2014 11:37

This post is for ANY AND ALL REAL PEOPLE PROMPTS. People from other fandoms are allowed as long as the main pairing includes one person from the Supernatural cast. Exceptions made for Jared, Jensen, and/or Misha's wives.

Reminders:
Prompts or fills mentioning real people under the age of 18 are BANNED, they can not be aged up or mentioned in ( Read more... )

real people prompting post, prompt post

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (22/?) szarabasjka August 12 2014, 05:08:05 UTC
Jensen knew exactly what he was talking about. It was a Friday when he went visiting Ty. He was working at the Krushnic’s farm. Jensen grew up with Ty at his house all the time, so getting into Ty’s house and moving to his bedroom was nothing, besides he needed some time alone. He had a crush on the new basketball coach, Mr. Morgan, from the whole town only Ty was supportive, not even Josh knew about Jensen, only Ty, and he just laughed and asked if Jensen wanted to go out with him. He landed on Ty’s bed and turned the TV on waiting until his friend came back from work. He fell asleep without even noticing it.

“Ty, look I know we said…” Jensen woke up startled by a guy older than him.

Jensen found the most amazing blue eyes, so deep blue, like the ocean, like the sky right before sunrise. “Hello… who are you?” asked the blue eyed man in front of Jensen who couldn’t take his eyes away from those lips. And suddenly not even Mr. Morgan looked as hot as this man. “Are you Ty’s boyfriend or something?”

“WHAT?” Jensen left the bed as if propelled by a coil. “NO! He’s my brother’s best friend, and I’m just visiting…”

“Okay, you must be little Jensen. Right?”

“I’m not little, I’m 17.” Jensen thinks about it, how petulant he sounded. How that made Misha smile amused.

How before a month they were already good friends, how it was Misha who asked if Jensen was gay. He remembers because Ty was always close and looking after him.

Then the Perseidas, Jensen didn’t know about them but then Misha started talking about the stars rain nonstop.

Jensen left his house saying he was going to see Ty, but Ty never got there, he was arrested for speeding, that was what the report said, and after three and a half hours with the sheriff he had an accident after he was released from the police station, he was now in an asylum in Louisiana where his brother lived. That was the night he and Misha kissed for first time.

Misha felt miserable, he said over and over he was sorry, he said it was not his intention that he cared too much for his friend that he didn’t want to betray his trust doing this with Ty’s little cargo. He felt so miserable they didn’t get in touch for almost a week, and only started talking again after a month, once Ty was sent to his brother, Jensen cried that day, Josh was gone and now Ty too. That’s why Misha was with him at all times, because Ty asked him to take care of his young friend.

Sheppard was quiet, part of this was said out loud and the man was looking at him amazed of how the rotten in front of him was recovering pieces of his memories right there.

“I’m sorry, I was there when Jeffrey Padalecki and Tommy Penickett.”

“Tahmoh, his name was Tahmoh.”

“They were so many.” The sheriff laughed. “All of them with the same stupid haircut.”

Jensen lowered his face remembering them, all wanted to look like Sawyer from Lost. All of them had pretty much the same haircut.

“So… anyway, after what happened to you, you don’t’ remember, right? I took you home that night, to Misha…” Jensen’s eyes shot to his face. “Your father thought I did something. I visited you at the hospital the day you spent there for… you know the bleeding?” Jensen remembered the pain and the haze of the painkillers. “The next I knew about you; we were told to go to the field near Sioux fall’s bridge, right behind Collins’ farm. I just knew it. By the time we got there they were already taking you down, Padalecki tried CPR, he did his best. But it was too late.”

“I guess guilt didn’t let him give up.”

“I thought the same. He really messed up his fingers, those same fingers you broke.” Jensen smirked with satisfaction. “He was just released after threatening your boyfriend.”

“He was there when… when…” he couldn’t make himself say it. “He even helped Anders when he raped me.”

“I was the one who got the phone, it was left inside my car, with a note, no SIM card, no prints, no contacts, nothing, just a bunch of pictures and the stupid case, with the confederate flag on it? The one he bragged about everywhere.”

Jensen remembered the flag. He remembered with the pain and the humiliation.

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (23/?) szarabasjka August 12 2014, 23:10:40 UTC
“Misha went insane when he arrived; he only saw the line of red pickup trucks leaving and the coroners’ van. He flipped, next time I saw him he was being dragged into the station, he was brought in when I was checking the pictures, and it was my fault that he saw them.” Jensen understood then. Why Misha did what he did.

It took Mark Sheppard a minute or two to regain control. “I found Anders with his pants down, his cock out and Collins bent over his desk” Jensen gasped fearing Misha had suffered the same faith. “I confronted him and let Misha leave.” He finished his drink in one gulp. “I should have never let him out… he went chasing every red pickup truck guy and shot three of them, the only one that died was Padalecki.” He turned and looking into Jensen’s eyes. “Misha killed himself with the same gun. The gun you left under your pillow.” Jensen left his father gun there, he didn’t need it, he didn’t want Misha finding a mess in his house, he’d have to live with the memories of blood and dead on the house he just bought. Jensen couldn’t do that to his love.

Sheppard kept talking “I never told anyone but that phone? We knew it was his, Jeff’s-”

“What?” Neither Jensen nor the sheriff knew how long Jared had been there. “You mean... are you saying…”

“That your brother was there when Sheriff Anders raped me?” Jensen said matter of factly, he felt the need to make someone else hurt, like he was hurting. Like the hollow empty space in his chest. “It was either him or someone else, just like him holding his phone and taking pictures.” He wished he could cry because he never cried for what happened to him. “He was there. I remember the hair and the phone in the same room. I remember he touched me when Anders was done with me.”

“Shut up you fucking rotten, shut the fuck up! My brother would’ve never… never!!”

Jared moved without thinking and punched Jensen sending him flying back to land on a heap. “It was all your fault, you couldn’t be normal, you couldn’t hide like the rest of us, you had to kill yourself weak bastard and you ruined everyone’s life!”

“Jared, enough!” Sheriff Sheppard held him back. “Calm down so we can talk.”

“I heard enough of your shit.” Jared pushed the sheriff back.

“Ask your parents Jared go home and ask them about what happened.” Jared looked at Jensen trying to get up disoriented and strangely calm. “You should go back to your grave rotten scum.” He spat on Jensen while a giant guy came to kick him out, the lady from behind the counter had a bat in her hand.

“Sheppard, leave, it’s your obligation to see that boy is safe, you messed with this.” She moved to get her phone and started dialing.

Jensen was still sitting on the floor. Sometimes emotions sucked.
***

Gerry and Sheri Padalecki were just sitting in front of the TV when they heard the SUV parking outside their house. “That’s Jared… what you think had happened?” Sheri moved to the door to welcome her son.

The door opened in one harsh push before she could get close. The phone started ringing in the other room, but everything got drowned in the voice of their son.

“You knew?”

“What?”

“About what Anders did to Jensen? What Jeff did, you knew?”

Mr. Padalecki stood as tall as his son and nodded. “Yes, we knew. That’s why we sent you away, this was too much. He was always there, ALWAYS! What if he did the same to you?”

Jared felt as if someone punched him in the stomach, he was seeing everything in white and next thing he knew his mother had him hugged. She was caressing his back to try to make him control his breathing. His chest was burning and his eyes were blurry, his knees were weak and his feel felt like concrete.

“We had to, baby. We had to keep you and Meg safe.”

“Is not true, he was good, I came out to him, I told him, and he was cool with it.”

“He told us, a couple days before, just when he was arrested for picking fights on the street.”

“He harassed Jensen’s boyfriend! Did you know that?”
His mom started sobbing.

“I wanted to ignore it. I wanted to believe it was just friendly banter, but I knew.”

Jared moved away from his mother’s arms, looking at them with disgust.

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (24/?) szarabasjka August 14 2014, 14:18:30 UTC
“And instead of explaining us, you just sent us away? Not even letting us back for Christmas? Have you any idea how terrible was my life? How awful Megan feels for all this?” he turned around looking into the house where he spent his entire childhood.

“There’s a lot more… Jared.”

The boy turned from his mother to his dad. “No! What were you thinking? Just because someone else said Jeff was bad you gave up on all your kids?”

“We did the unthinkable for our kids. You have no right to judge us!” his father shouted.

A knock on the door made all of them turn. Mayor Ackles, his wife, Sam Ferris from the bar and Sheriff Sheppard entered the house without any explanation.

“What happened?” Mrs. Padalecki asked.

“It’s my fault.” Sheppard was moving forward. “They deserve to know, but he wouldn’t listen to me. Jensen… he understood.”

“Why you had to do this to him?!” Jared’s father shouted on his face.

“Both boys deserve to know, they’re old enough to know.” Mrs. Padalecki looked at Sheppard with something like fear and pain.
Sheriff said he was sorry once more before he faced Jared. “Wanna know what happened? The day Jensen died your brother went to the bar and outed you. He was too upset and too drunk to think straight.”

Jared gasped and turned to his parents.

“It was never a problem for us. Never, we love you, and who you love is not an issue.” Mr. Padalecki stated.

“Sadly there was one person in the bar that shouldn’t have heard him.” Sheppard turned to Mayor Ackles.

“Anders…” Jared knew it before they had to say anything. “But I was fine, he was nice, he even offered me a ride the day Collins killed my brother.”

“Because I stopped him.” Jensen’s mother was looking into his eyes and Jared remembered. They were going towards the Sioux fall’s pond exactly the opposite direction from his house.

“You don’t mind right kid? I have a thing to take care of, and I’ll drive you home afterwards.” The man said while caressing his knee. Back then he didn’t though twice about the touch.

“I found him when he was about to rape a handcuffed man, I found him when he had the poor guy bent down. He left the station in a hurry saying he’d do the right thing and end with the fucking faggots.” Sheppard leaned on a chair. “We had no idea what he was going to do, there were only two gay guys in this town and Jensen was already dead.”

“I heard him, saying he’d fix you or kill you trying.” Mrs. Ferris said. “I couldn’t let it happen again. They chased my girl out of town for being too mouthy to marry one of their boys. I couldn’t let them do to you the same they did to Jensen or Misha.”

“When we heard what he did. When Sheppard told us, we couldn’t deal with the guilt, Jensen said the true, and we ignored him for being different.” Mayor Ackles continued, and looking to his wife finished. “We took care of that bastard.”

Jared turned around the whole room looking at him, this people all council members now killed a man?

“He went missing the day my son died.” Jared’s mom spoke. “I just had lost my boy, and he suffered so much, people say he didn’t even defended himself he knew he deserved it. I want to believe that he’s in heaven because he asked for forgiveness.” The lady cleaned her face with the tip of her fingers. “But I needed to make someone pay for all that.”

Jared’s dad moved to hold her.

“But… Is it true? Was Jeff? Was he..? With Anders when… was my brother a rapist?” His mom sobbed.

“All I knew was what was on those pictures, on that cellphone.” Jensen’s mom explained. “I knew it wasn’t fair for his parents, as it wasn’t fair for you what Anders was about to do to you.” She wasn’t crying, she had the same quiet strength Jensen showed all the time. “It was more than obvious, and Jeff wasn’t there to ask him about it anymore.”

“I don’t know what happened. I took his keys and sent him out with that other kid he was with all the time, he was too drunk for anything.” Mrs. Ferris tried to explain.

“I can’t believe this, this can’t be true.”

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (25/?) szarabasjka August 14 2014, 14:34:16 UTC
“Anders entered the bar when I was closing due the lock down. He was bleeding and told me what Donna just did to him.” Mrs. Ferris rubber her arms as if she were cold. “I don’t know what got into me. All I couldn’t see was this stopping once and for all.” She sighed. “I didn’t thought what was about to happen I just…”

“We did this on our own Jared, we are all mothers and fathers, we finished it so no children would suffer what Jensen and others suffered.”

“Son, it’s true. The people in this room is responsible of a murder, the entire town knows about this, we just want to believe that it made our town a better place.” His father tried to make him understand.

“And if you think they didn’t love you, you’re wrong.” Mrs. Ackles explained. “Donna saw Sheriff Anders had you in his car, we couldn’t wait.”
“You had to stay away in order to be safe, just like Meg and Mac, just like Jensen will do in a couple weeks.”

“And you thought I didn’t deserve to know this?”

“You were a kid.” his father reasoned. “We couldn’t burden you with this.”

“We swore secrecy Jared, we couldn’t tell you” his mother got close but he moved away again.

“I have to go…” Jared got to the lawn and stood there in blank.

“Kid.” Sheppard got close. “I was about to tell you, you should have stayed in the bar…”

“Shut up.”

“Stop the self pity party, I’ve seen your mother covered in the blood of the man that was a threat to you, you should at least thank them for that. You think Misha was badass for the killing spree? You haven’t seen those three ladies there, they’re the scariest creatures I’ve ever seen, all to protect their cubs.”

“Shut up.” He moved towards his car.

“This entire town knew, that’s why they were all at Misha Collins funeral, they understood.” He kept talking but Jared started running.

Jared didn’t stop. he went home, ignoring the cold or the hour. He had made his mind. It was about 10 pm, it was like 6pm in California. He dialed and let Stanford know he was going to join in at the start of fall.

He started packing that night. He couldn’t wait to leave this town..
***

Jensen went home to find his mother up.

“Baby…” she hugged him and didn’t let him go no matter what he said. The gesture made him understand something had happened.

“Is Jared safe?” his mother nodded and Jensen left her behind going to his bedroom. He called his friend but Jared never picked up.

So by dawn he was out of bed and walking the mile and a half to Jared’s house only to find it empty.

Of course it was empty. Jared woke up early to pick up few gallons of pig blood from a slaughter house and marched with Genevieve and Pellegrino to the partially deceased health center.

He was so angry. He didn’t say a word to his friends he just shouted and throwed things, from the blood, to stones. It was almost ten in the morning when he saw a pair of dark eyes looking at him, long straight lashes framing them. He saw rosy cheeks and a sweet smile on the face of a young boy.

“What?!” he asked blunt and the kid giggled.

“Don’t you recognize me?” and the kid shook a bag of gummy bears in front of him. It was Osric and he had his eye color back. He was officially back.

Sadly Jared was still too angry and just smirked at him and moved to a side.

“You’re a rotten nothing more.” And then someone from behind brought a bucket of blood and poured it over the kid, Jared by instinct pulled the boy towards him and hugged him but he was still soaked in blood.

Osric’s pretty dark eyes filled with tears while his mother ran to him, the Christian ladies were roaring in anger. “Os…” Jared tried to get close again while the kid’s mom hugged him. “I’m sorry.”

Osric looked at Jared and throwing the candy at him said “I knew you were lying when you said you were Jensen’s friend now.”

“boo hoo little monster.” Mark Pellegrino had one of his giant paws on Jared’s shoulder and was laughing.

Jared stood under the sun the entire morning of his Saturday, without thinking without feeling anything. He only left when his mother went there bringing refreshments for the ladies. He couldn’t face her.

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Re: FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (25/?) szarabasjka August 14 2014, 14:40:48 UTC
oh god I loved it but I hate jared so much!

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Re: FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (25/?) szarabasjka August 14 2014, 14:46:28 UTC
aww don't judge him, he's in pain.

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (26/?) szarabasjka August 14 2014, 14:44:33 UTC
His way home was quiet, he didn’t even felt the need to say good bye to his so-called friends, he got home and found a figure sitting against the door, he knew who it was, eyes closed sitting there still as a dead body. In fact, it was a dead body. It was Jensen.

Jared had to go back and walk all the way across their neighbors backyards in order to avoid him but finally was inside his house, he went straight to the fridge looking for a beer, to find nothing, no beer, there were only two stupid apples and a couple bottles of water.

Thinking about that, he haven’t needed beer to sleep since Jensen was in isolation with Osric, after that he always had a reason to wake up, and not since then either he had been in one of the demonstrations of the militia.

“I was going to give up everything for a fucking rotten, I was giving up-” he punched the wall. “Everything, I was ready to do everything for a bastard that could hurt kids and defenseless people.” Another punch and he started crying. “for someone who could take pictures of a rape instead of stopping it.”

“You didn’t know.” The voice was soft and emotionless, during this whole thing that same voice kept him calm, why does it anger him now?

“Leave.” Jared got up and walked down the hall “And leave my key.” He passed the door into his room closing the door, still he stood against it; one ear close trying to hear if Jensen will actually leave his house without saying anything else.

He woke up, it was dark and he by instinct held his phone, he had nobody to talk to, nobody else but Jensen, and he refused to talk to him.

The beer returned to the menu as the main source of nutrients, the only thing Jared did aside of drinking himself stupid was getting ready to leave, that same Monday he gave his two week notice and went from work to the militia meetings, then home and he drank himself to sleep.

Jensen tried to talk to him the first week, by Tuesday the next week he gave up. And Jared still felt miserable and sad. He looked himself on a mirror two days before leaving. And saw a ghost.

“Damn it! The only rotten thing here is you.” He shaved and got his stuff ready, he had everything packed already and sent away; Just a couple more days. He marched to the door, nothing in his mind or his schedule for the day, he just needed peace.

“What you’re not gonna tell anyone you’re leaving?”

It was Josh Ackles sitting on the same spot his baby brother favored when visiting Jared’s house, or more specifically at Jared’s front door.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“I want you to help Me.” he got up and showed him two shovels.

“I have to work.”

Josh’s face twisted. “I know you left your job, remember who you work for? He told me.” of course the factory manager was a guy from Josh class, his football team buddy, another of those from the red pickup truck gang.

Jared sighed and turned his eyes down to control his temper.

“What you really want?”

Josh moved closer.

“Jensen’s treatment will be done in two weeks and by then I hope I get some answers about a different matter” and offering Jared working gloves and one of the shovels. “For a start: We’re digging out Anders to burn the remains and get our parents free.”

“Free of what?”

“Just… free.” Jared stared at him not getting it. “You didn’t understand right? You think they wanted to stay here? Where their kids were killed? You think Sheppard wanted to stay here where things were shitty and people was scared of him? Or Sam wanted to be away from Alona?” Jared blinked stupidly. “They had to stay because any other sheriff or Mayor would be asking questions about a missing sheriff and this town is not ready for that.” And Josh moved tossing him the gloves. “Now, move, we’re taking care of stuff.”

Josh drove across fields and fields and empty planes and roads of dirt until they reached Samantha Ferris’ property at the very end of the city.

“My mom said, your father and mine brought him here, after whatever my mom and your mom did to the bastard.” Josh walked without saying another word until he found a specific depression on the soil, it was about six foot long and 10 inches wide, and without a word he stuck his shovel.

“You can ask, you know?”

Jared looked at him for a while.
“Ask what?”

“How’s Jensen.”

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (27/?) szarabasjka August 14 2014, 14:55:02 UTC
Jared moved past Josh and started digging, he wondered how was his friend every day , and every night, after seeing Osric’s eyes he wonders what color were Jensen’s, green? Like Josh and Mrs. Ackles? Or the hazel Mr. Ackles had. He wondered if by some miracle Jensen would forgive him.

He noticed Josh had stopped digging and turned to see the bathroom curtains from his house, from when he was 16. “Oh My God.”

The putrid smell permeating the air forced Josh to cover his nose.

“Oh My God.” Josh parroted.

To Josh this was maybe harder than it was for Jared, he knew his baby brother died and that his parents took care of the man that hurt him, but seeing in reality what was left of the man was a complete different thing.

“I can’t believe this is what’s left of a man I knew when I was young.” He moved around the body. “Look at this. it’s so small and so…” Josh removed some dirty stuck on the plastic and a part of what once was Anders face was revealed, Jared felt about to pass out. “This was a man once…”

Jared was looking at it thinking pretty much the same, but also thinking about the fact that what reduced this man to the small pile of rotten meat and bones had been his and Jensen’s mothers. Josh moved to pick the curtain from one end to take it out of the dirt in order to burn it.

“I think I saw a show where the murderers were caught for digging out the body themselves…” Jared said out of nervousness, this was the first time he touched a dead body.

Josh giggled. It was the same sound from Jensen.

“Good thing we’re not the ones that killed this bastard.” The body was pretty much out of the dirt so he pulled the plastic open to spray the remains with fuel. The smell was ten times worst and Jared could see a couple crawlers among the exposed bones.

Coughing and with watering eyes Jared backed away while Jensen’s brother sprayed the bottle of lighter fuel over the remains and climbing out of the hole throwed a lit matchbox. “Rot in peace.” Josh Ackles claimed as the flames wrapped the body

Jared noticed the similarity with what his militia told people outside the health center. More now that they were brazen and started attacking those rottens they found alone.

Josh took a small ice box from the back of his truck and offered Jared a beer. They sat watching the remains turn into nothing more than ashes without saying much.

“I wish I was here by then…” Josh had his jaw set and his eyes were fix on the smoking pile of ashes, it was far past noon and Jared felt hungry for the first time in over a week.

“I wish I knew about all this.”

Joshua Ackles turned to face Jared before letting out a breath.

“I’m glad that you didn’t, you were a kid, this kind of burden on a kid?” and shaking his head from side to side. “I’d have kept it a secret too.”

He got up and moved to the pile kicking the hot cinder away across the land and without fuss opened his fly peed over the last remains of ember.

“What the fuck, man, that’s disrespectful!”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I disrespected the bastard who raped and made my baby brother kill himself?” and zipping himself up moved to the car. “I guess I’m going to hell.”

Jared sat on the car and thought about this, Anders passed away no long after Jensen and he didn’t came back, just like Jeff, then there was the lady he killed. She came back after she passed away for the abuse suffered from her husband who abused her son after she was gone. Osric had leukemia, The deputy’s mother had cancer too. Jensen killed himself, case after case it had one common denominator. All of them were good people who had bad luck. Maybe that’s why Misha didn’t came back either, because he killed someone.

Jared understood that his brother was a monster, just like the man they burnt. He understood there was a reason why Josh didn’t come back. Jared thought that if he were to die, he wouldn’t come back either. His throat closed, his eyes stung, and Jared slept almost all the way back to the city.

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Re: FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (27/?) szarabasjka August 15 2014, 12:31:42 UTC
OP here

Just wanted to say I'm still loving this. Not sure if I should be angry with Jared or feel sorry for him.

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (28/?) szarabasjka August 31 2014, 03:38:08 UTC
***

Jensen was called by Osric’s mom to her house, the day after Jared kicked him out, by the time he got there Osric was throwing stuff around.

“I can’t make him stop.” Mrs. Chao was in tears. “Please make him stop.”

Jensen held her for a second before moving inside Osric’s room.

The boy was feral, covered still in pig blood and crying. “The lamp too, broke the stupid lamp your mom kept here for you.” Jensen took it and offered it to the kid.

“It’s your entire fault!” he shouted angry moving in front of his friend with a wild expression. “You said he was your friend and I believed you, but he’s not!!” he sobbed and covered his eyes. “He’s mean and cruel. Just like everyone else.”

Jensen understood immediately. “Let’s just say I made a mistake.”

“He made fun of me, like when I was sick! Like before I died.” He rubbed his face and Jensen moved closer to hold him.

“He’s an idiot, and I have the bad habit of believing people can change.”

The kid faced his friend and gasped, actually both gasped. Jensen saw the dark in his eyes. And Osric saw the giant bluish-green mark of a bruise on his friend’s temple.

“What happened to you?” Osric asked.

“Someone got mad at me.” and Jensen moved a step closer bending to look into Osric’s face. “Look at your eyes, they look a little different.”

The kid smiled and blinked owlishly, surprised to have his friend this close.

“They were hurting last night and then this morning they were like this.”

“Amazing…” and standing up Jensen looked around. “We only need to get rid of the smell.” Osric looked down to his ruined shirt.

“Jared’s friends did this.”

“Well, you just made a mess out of the house.” The kid looked around surprised. “You better rein your temper. You have a grade A mom there.” Jensen pointed to the door. “Don’t go wasting her time with these things.” Osric sighed and pouted. “I’ve learnt something Os, you can’t judge anyone for his friends.” Jensen heard Mrs. Chao close. “Go take a shower, and say you’re sorry so we can go out. Did you heard? I’m taking liquids now, and if you’re not grounded. I’ve been said I can try with ice cream.”

The change in the boy’s demeanor was obvious, arms rose in the air with an excited hoot. “ICE CREAM!” and he ran down the hall to the bathroom.

Mrs. Chao kept crying when Jensen turned and let her hug him.

“He was not himself, he was nothing but a ghost until you came into our lives.”

Jensen wondered how it would affect the kid when he went away with his brother.

That afternoon he tried with strawberry and lemon ice cream, he wanted to be as far away from any memory as possible, he sat on the park with Os and let him pet the stupid stray he kept seeing everywhere.

Jensen saw a group of people getting closer. Militia’s all of them. They as everyone else avoided even eye contact with him, that’s when the nausea hit him and he hardly had time to move the few feet to the trashcan.

The next day he went to see Jared looking for an explanation on why he attacked his young friend, but couldn’t talk to him, the next couple days happened the same over and over, it felt like being bullied again, it hurt.
“Get the hell up from that door, seriously…!” Josh was there. “What are you? A fucking dog?” and pulled his brother and carried him to the only place he knew Jensen would enjoy; To Town’s library.

After Josh got there he made Jensen do something. Every day after treatment Jensen went to community college, he could learn some things, and it’ll make it easier for him if he ever decided he wanted to do more with his life than roam the town like a specter.

“I’m moving with you Josh, why I need any of this shit?” he protested at first.

“Because Jay… I’m not gonna support you forever and I’m a fucking biologist, I won’t have a grunt of a brother, you better find something you like and learn about it.” Josh sighed and facing his baby brother kept talking. “You deserve more than this, more than memories and pain. And mom and dad deserve more than guilt.” Jensen scoffed. “YES! They do, you weren’t here kid. You didn’t see it. They paid for it. It’s time to let it go.”

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (29/?) szarabasjka August 31 2014, 03:43:07 UTC
So Jensen started taking some class about anatomy and human behavior and creative writing. He never mentioned it to Jared because he was ashamed, and his classes were all while Jared was working But now he was grateful to have those hours occupied.

It helped, Jensen never again sat at Jared’s door like a dog put on time out, and he no longer missed him. At least he doesn’t feel the need to go to him every time something is not alright.

By the morning of a Wednesday when Josh said he’d be taking care of things before going home Jensen was out with Osric, the kid was going back to school that fall, after almost five years, they went shopping for school supplies. Osric was nervous. Most of his class were HS juniors and he was going back to 9th grade.

“Were you nervous?” Asked while sipping on his slushy, another of the things Jensen could have without puking. “Going back to school I mean.”

“Yep.” Jensen was walking down Main Street with his little friend. He was carrying a heavy backpack full of books on his shoulder. “Not to mention I was the oldest one there.”

“Oh no… ” Jensen noticed his little friend distress. He was getting better at emotions now. “Don’t worry, you look quite normal, I’m sure you will just fit and you’ll have a girlfriend in no time.”

Then they heard the engine, Josh had taken them around more than once. They knew the car and Jensen was surprised when he saw Jared sitting next to his brother.

“I don’t want to talk to him.” Osric was looking around, still too humiliated from the incident at the center.

“Okay, let’s go to see if your mom is done with the ladies’ meeting.” And they turned around ignoring Josh’s horn.

Jared felt miserable seeing his once friend walking away from him. He felt he deserved that.
***

The day came and Jared had the keys of his house in hand, he had to drop them with the neighbor. That was the last thing before leaving this place for good. He was just waiting for the taxi. He was nervous, a 21 years old freshman sounded terrible to him. But being the guy leaving without a soul caring was even worst.

He waited for the taxi sitting on the steps, right where Jensen sat. And he couldn’t help thinking about his friend. He missed Jensen but he felt it was all Jensen’s fault. Even when his brain said he was wrong.

Jensen woke up early without a reason and he was watching the news in the kitchen with a glass of orange juice when Josh entered running. Without explanation changed channels while rambling about work on his phone.

“… Close to 12 million people in the entire world.” The anchorman said. “While scientists have still no idea of why the phenomenon has occurred, they’re certain there will be no more new cases, since no other person was brought back in the last six days.”

Josh kept talking.

“That’ll leave us with a frame of time of what?” he passed in front of Jensen babbling about dates and facts and numbers.

“Get out of the way, jerk…” Jensen Slapped his brother’s bottom making him shriek.

“… for people death in the bracket of a very specific window of time.”

Basically news said there was no reason for one or other person to be back other than a specific period of time of death. Jensen’s head was swimming. But if he had the dates right, Misha wasn’t back because he killed himself on October 12th, Jared’s brother wasn’t back for the same reason.

“We agreed we will not be releasing info until next month. What happened?” Josh kept talking

“He’s not back for two stupid days.” He felt the tug of something on his lips, a smile. A sad smile pulled at them. “Two stupid days.”

Josh and his mother called him but Jensen just wandered out, he forgot his classes. He forgot everything. Just walked to Jared’s house, he needed to talk to someone more than Osric. He got there when Jared was getting back into his yard, a white cab was coming down the street and he understood immediately what was happening.

“You’re leaving!”

Jared got up and walked to the taxi.

“Go away Jensen.”

“Why are you leaving?” he didn’t got an answer, Jared climbed on the car and left.

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (30/?) szarabasjka September 2 2014, 22:20:04 UTC
Jensen felt lost for a second, until the most terrifying sound ever resonated in his body. He was left out of breath, his head felt heavy and his legs just felt glued to the floor. The pain in his chest so big he fell forward and landed on hands and knees.

His heart had just beaten. His heart was back.
***

Jensen opened his eyes slowly to see his family staring at him.

“What?”

His mother was crying and without warning pulled him into a tight embrace.

“MOM!” he squeaked as best as he could.

“You were on the street right outside of Jared’s house.” She said between sobs. “You were on the street and I thought… I thought…” her voice broke in heartbreaking sobs.

“I’m fine. I just… felt my heart beating.”

Doctors don’t have a standard, there’s not a specific order for the things to come back Jensen started with feelings and emotions. For Osric were eye color and hunger. There was a story about a girl that first had her period, yeah must suck to be her.

There were different ways for the body to be aware of life again. Wanderlust was only one of them, especially when it came almost a year after he came back.

Osric fit back in school as if he never left. Legally he was still 12 after all, and now he was all excited for Spring Prom and Jensen had to smile at the excitement.

“Okay, I have my ensemble.” Osric faced Jensen showing off his perfectly fit dark charcoal three pieces suit. “Now you can tell me your news.”

Jensen smiled while fixing his little friend’s tie. “I’ll be leaving this fall.”

“What? Why?” Josh had gone home, and Jensen remained in town because he felt it wasn’t time to leave yet.

“There’s nothing for me here Os. Besides I’m going to live near Josh in San Francisco, so I’ll be around in a couple years when you end up in CalTech or something.” Both chuckled.

“I don’t want you to go.” Jensen felt his eyes watered when the boy hugged him. “You could be here forever! With me!”

Jensen felt the tears choking him, but they left as soon as they came. “I could but you are meant to be great kid and you won’t be staying here. Okay?” and pushing him away to look into his face. “Besides I’m old and this could be my last chance to go to college. And I’m not going tomorrow, we still have months.” Jensen searched around looking around for a different shirt. “I’m still gonna kick your ass in Silent hills (Zombie based VG) this weekend.” Osric laughed and everything was forgotten until they were sitting outside the ice cream parlor.

“Jared is supposed to be in California too, right?” asked the young boy.

“I don’t know.” Jensen still had the pale -white eyes of every partially deceased and his heart never again had beat. But still he was nervous his face would show his lie.

“You said he was going to Stanford.”

“Stop it, he left us, we don’t have to worry.”

“I know, I just don’t want you to find him when you move there.” Jensen smiled. “What if he finds one of us alone? You think he’d act like the militia?” riots were reported in several places, mostly angry people because their loved ones weren’t coming back.

“I don’t think so. I wouldn’t let him get close anyways.”

They heard Mrs. Chao’s car and Osric said good bye and carried his stuff and his ice cream to his mom’s car.

Jensen waved the lady and saw them leaving. He sat there alone. Days like today made him miss Jared, when he wanted to discuss how much he missed the only person that was nice to him without over compensating for something else. He missed that Jared always knew when to talk to him and how to make him laugh. He wished he could explain Jared that whatever his brother did was not on him, or tell him he was sorry. But that he had to set things clear.

“Hey Jay, you have math’s homework?” asked a voice from behind and Jensen’s head snapped back, in the alley between the buildings to find a man dressed in rags, the smell was so strong he could feel it from where he was sitting. “Don’t you recognize me?”

Jensen moved his head from side to side. He didn’t remember anyone like that man, greasy long light brown hair, pale skinny face, unkempt beard. He wasn’t even as tall as Jensen.

“I kinda expected that… I was in your AP Math Class. I sat behind you and copied you every test during three years.” Jensen still shook his head. “Stephen?”

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (31/?) szarabasjka September 2 2014, 22:24:57 UTC
Jensen remembered this one. He was the bottom of the red pickup truck gang pyramid. He used to be the sucker that did everything the rest didn’t want to do.

“Hey!” Jensen was about to say *how are you*but Amell was obviously living on the streets. The awkward silence that fell was broken by the voice of an old Man.

“YOU hobo!!” shouted pointing a finger to them “beat it.” The older man showed him a baton.

“I should leave, he means it, he’d beat me before…” Jensen noticed the man mumbling *first a fucking rotten perverting a kid and now that bum.* So Jensen got up and walked away with Stephen.

“What an ass.” Jensen commented.

“Yeah, Mark Pellegrino Sr. is a mean bastard…” The man chuckled. “Just like his son.” Jensen was surprised. “You didn’t know? He’s Mark’s father.”

Jensen raised his eyebrows. “At least they’re not as bad as Anders used to be… Just as mean as Sheppard, he’s the worst when his men find me around.”

“What happened to you?” the man was twitching, and Jensen had his answer. He was using.

“Nothing.” He rubbed his face. “I just think all Marks are dicks, maybe is a law or something, but I can take it, I deserve it.”

“Nobody deserves that.”

“I do…”

“Why?” Jensen saw how the eyes filled with tears.

“Because, I should be called Mark.” He joked. “I haven’t seen you until today. I wanted to say I’m sorry.” He mumbled before he left.
***

Jared left a Wednesday, and all the time he spent on the plane he thought about one thing. Why he didn’t cleared things with Jensen?

He settled in an off campus apartment and looked for a job, with his experience he found one quite easily, he was in charge of a bookstore. His days were empty and his nights were filled studying and doing homework.

He met a couple friends but never really wanted to be close to anyone, he felt lost and alone. And once more out of place.

But that was the strange part. He always felt out of place, except for few months. He felt as if left behind his entire life. The only one time in his life he felt like this was when Zachary left.

“We’ll met in college in a year, Jay.” he pressed as he helped Jared fill applications. Stanford, he was going to Stanford and Jared will go to. “I love you and I’m not gonna let you behind.”

Jared kissed his boyfriend and cried the entire night because he finally had a family on his own. That’s why it hurt so much, just when he was about to graduate and just had his acceptance letter.

“What you mean you’re going home?” Zach asked while Jared was packing. They spent two summers together already.

“It’s complicated…”

“Is this about your brother again?” Jared looked at Zach hurt. “Oh no, don’t give me that look, when are you going to let it go?”

“Man, he was my brother! And he was killed. Wouldn’t you want to know why?”

“Jared.” He got close and had his hands in his shoulders. “Sweetheart, I love you, I do, but you have to let it go, your family deserted you, why you insist in doing this to yourself?”

“It’ll be only a couple months.”

“Months? You do realize I’m going back to school in like three weeks right? And that you’re supposed to go with me?”

“Zach, it’ll be just for one term, I can get there for winter.”

It didn’t end well, it didn’t.

Jared went home for a couple weeks, and his parent only offered money and couldn't wait for him to leave. He tried calling Zach but never had he answered his calls.

By the time he moved on and left for college he found Zach with a girl all over him.

“You had your chance, you took your decision is not my fault.”

Now, sitting in the empty room filled with memories and regrets he understood Jensen, the only person he felt normal with. Maybe death wasn’t that bad.
***

Jensen tried to find Stephen again, but he was nowhere to be found.

“That boy is nothing but trouble.” his father Sentenced. “It’ll be a thousand times better if he weren’t here at all.” And he refused
to say anything else.

“He’s the one Misha Collins let go.” Osric’s mom said. “rumors said he killed Jeff Padalecki in front of him, but when was about time to kill Amell he just told him it’ll all be on his conscience and killed himself.” Then Mrs. Chao told him the kind of places Stephen used to be around.

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (32/?) szarabasjka September 2 2014, 22:30:07 UTC
Jensen started going out at night, walking the bad side of town, where ladies were selling and drugs were easy to find, he really needed to find Stephen. He needed to hear the last of the story before leaving town.

He was cornered by a couple girls and a bunch of guys either offering or asking for sex and he felt nauseous. That’s when he sat on a grimy bar looking around. some girls pointed him there, and asked if he was buying and if he wanted to share.

Jensen didn’t even asked what they were talking about.

“The word on streets says you’re looking for Amell.” A dark skinned man sat in front of him. “Name’s Gordon.” He just offered a weak nod. “And Stephen, good old Stephen works for me.”

“I’m Jensen Ackles.” He was revealing his condition by giving his name, just in case his clear dead-ish pupils were not enough. “And my business with Stephen is my business only.” Only then he inched forward leaving his too pale skin and pupils exposed to the entire room. Gordon was up in one second and backing away screaming there was a rotten in their place.

“Calm Down… ” Jensen had changed. The once bitter kid became a powerful monster; he had embraced his new situation and took advantage of it. He still didn’t feel pain. He still didn’t had a beating heart. He still was dominated for the less evolved part of his brain. “I just need Stephen and then I’ll leave you all alone.”

He heard tumbles and screeching chairs and people gasping and cursing. Many of the men in this bar were new, and they thought that the reason for Jensen to be left alone was that he was a especially violent Rotten.

It was a thing of magic, in three second Stephen Amell was produced from somewhere around the back entrance and sat in front of Jensen.

“Hello again Stephen…” Jensen smiled. He was still the goofy boy Misha loved. At least he wanted to believe so even if the look of sheer terror on the face of everyone in the room said differently.

“I need you to leave me alone.” Amell showed him a knife.

“Have you ever seen what happens before a rotten dies?” Everyone had seen it, most rottens fought, as a cornered animal and even if they had to die they took as many as possible with them “And I need you to tell me everything you know about my death.” Jensen reached for the knife and didn’t felt the sting of the sharp steel entering his skin. “Everything.” He repeated while throwing the weapon away. “now sit, and start talking.”

Stephen smiled but the smile only lasted a couple seconds. “I’ll tell you but I can’t unless I’m at least half drunk.”

Jensen ordered a bottle of bourbon and Stephen drank at least three glasses before starting talking.

“Jeff Padalecki was jealous of you. He didn’t hate you, he…. ”

“Oh Yeah, jealous, that’s why he bullied me every fucking day of…”

Stephen made movement with his hand. “He was jealous. he used to say that if it were his baby brother he’d do the same. that you had so many chances of a better life and you were wasting all of them for a grunt like Misha Collins.” Jensen made a sound that had Stephen at the edge of his chair. “Sorry but he said that every time.”

Stephen looked away for a couple minutes. “He wanted to wear you out and make you leave… but you’re a stubborn son of a bitch.” Stephen took the bottle and gulped from it without even flinching at the burning. “I remember you going around with Olsson, people said he was gay, everybody said that. It was like the worst hidden secret in this fucking town’s history…” Jensen gasped. Ty wasn’t gay, he couldn’t be. “He spent two thirds of his life minding his own business just like the rest of us, until Sheriff Anders found him making out with Misha Collins at the gas station. That was like a month after your brother left.”

“As far as I know things went down between them when you appeared in the picture, I heard around that Josh wanted you to be with Ty.”

Jared snorted and blinked. “I’ve never heard a bigger stupidity.”

“Well… was your brother’s stupidity.” Amell took another swing of the bourbon. “And then Ty got attacked, that’s another big not secret, and Misha just changed goals. But you had to go around making out in public, you fags…” Amell’s eyes watered a little this time. “I can’t stay here… I can’t.” he got up carrying his bottle and left.

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (33/?) szarabasjka September 5 2014, 22:08:59 UTC
Jensen called for him, followed him but the man was gone. Still Jensen went there day after day trying to find him.

It was almost the end of summer when he found him again, right two days before Osric arrived from partially deceased reinsertion camp. He found Amell on an alley where another bum told him he was waiting.

“There you are…” Jensen got close and Stephen broke in tears.

“Why you do this? Why you won’t leave me alone?”

“Because I’m about to leave town and I need to know.”

“The day we found Misha outside Pellegrino’s Jeff didn’t expected you to be inside.” Jensen chuckled remembering the day. So much pain started for one fucking ice cream cone.

“He told him to let you go, told him you had a future and he shouldn’t pull you back.”

“Padalecki had no right to tell Misha what to do or to have an opinion on my life.” Jensen Stated angrily.

“Collins told him that he should come out of the closet and even if he did so he’d never had a chance with you.” And Stephen chuckled. “Thinking back to that day? We just had some pot, we weren’t really thinking, I wasn’t really thinking and so much happened because of that simple conversation.”

“Jeff went to the hospital after you broke his fingers, he made us lie, Tahmoh and I. We all said a colt broke his fingers. By the time I drove him home we were all regretful of the fight.”

“The next day he was different, he said his baby brother told him something that had him drinking that afternoon, I had to take his car keys and his phone from Sam Ferris. He was hammered, he couldn’t drive.” And Stephen sobbed. “I just wanted to help. I just wanted to…” another sob left his mouth. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”

Jensen felt the same painful stab on his chest, something loud and heavy on his ears, his entire body went numb and he couldn’t breathe for the pressure. “It was you? If Jeff didn’t had his phone-” and his mouth fell open, his legs went wobbly and he fell on the floor, his face inches away from the floor because his hands weren’t obeying. “It was you…” he wanted to get angry, but the feeling of abandonment filled him faster. “It was you there.”

“I told you the first time, Jensen, I should be called Mark. I told you I deserve everything that happens to me.”

“Why?” Jensen asked incoherently.

“He was after me, I knew it, word on the streets said he was gay, and a sadist bastard. I was afraid, if he had you, if he had someone else, I’ll be safe. Besides I thought you’d leave, and Jeff would be finally at peace, and the whole town would be thankful, once in my life I wouldn’t have to be behind the fucking perfection of Jensen Ackles and his tragic story.” And Stephen moved his hands from his lap to show a bloody gash on his abdomen.

“Jeff came couple days later telling us, he said- he said Jared told him he was gay and-” Stephen sighed. “He said: brother we’re wrong, we did all this and it’s wrong, Jensen doesn’t deserve this, I’m not gonna let my baby brother go through the same.”

“And, and I told him, what I did, what Anders did to you.” Stephen sobbed. “He was so angry.” Jensen was fighting to breath, fighting to keep conscious, this was too much, too painful. “He forced me to give the phone to the police, but I was too much of a coward.”

“We went looking for you, to help. I swear… he wanted to help.” Jensen moved his head trying to make him stop, but he couldn’t produce a sound. “We found you hanging off on that tree while we were going to Krushnick’s farm to talk to you.” Jensen tried to move away once more, but he only felt the same pain again, this time his stomach knotted and he felt like throwing up.

“Jeff told Misha what happened, he told him, and said he was sorry. But it was too late.” Stephen looked at his wound and then to Jensen. “Jeff asked him to let the rest of us leave. He begged for the rest of us, even for me… even for the one that ruined everything.”

“Enough…” Jensen fought to move, wanting nothing more than to go away. “Stop, please.”

“I was there when he was shot, I was there, he said, he asked me to let it rest, when Misha killed himself… when it happened it was my obligation to put all this to rest…”

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FILL:J2, In the Flesh AU, zombies fic, homophobia, self harm, suicide, characters death (34/?) szarabasjka September 5 2014, 22:15:54 UTC
“Jared is suffering for this.” Roared Jensen as the light was leaving his eyes, everything turned dark and he did his best to hold his phone before finally collapsing with the imperious need to breath.
***

Jared entered the class room and sat near the back, he didn’t have friends and didn’t care for them either, same at work, he felt like he didn’t belong there. He never belonged anywhere since he was 16.

“Welcome to Creative Writing 301, I’m Mrs. Smith.” The lady in front of the class, tall and lean moved to close the door. “I’m gonna be your teacher this semester and you’re gonna understand the process of writing does not come from your brain but from your heart and your very soul as long as you have the tools to understand those voices. And no, mental health issues however unavoidable are not a requirement for this class” people chuckled. “Everyone here had to go through at least two workshops and two classes about writing before joining this class.” She moved to the desk in front of them. “And yet you have no idea of what this semester will carry.” She took a blank page and passed it to the first desk for the students to add their names. “Rules! The basic rule, your desk right now is your desk for the entire semester, remember that. Rule number one; You’ll have homework every class, number two; You will present your homework in white official paper, times new roman font, size 11, 1.5 lines, number three; There’s no excuse to…” the door opened and a tall guy was standing there. “Yes?” Mrs. Smith asked.

“Uh... I’m looking for…” the guy checked the paper in his hand. “Mrs. Smith’s class? Creative Writing 301?”

“Right place, wrong time…” and smiling pointed to the one desk empty at the back. “Guess you’re the last one joining, I heard about you Mr. Ackles.”

Jared jerked on his desk and the whole room heard the screech of his chair.

“Please take your sit and for the rest, that’s the next rule... rule number three; there’s no excuse to be late, EVER! Rule four; this room is to be quiet while we’re working, understood Mr…?” and her eyes fixed on Jared.

“Padalecki, yeah, I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay… now, rule five; This place is for you to learn, so cell phones off, and real life drama stays out too, is that clear?” many nodded and the entire room filled with the rusting of people turning phones off. “By the end of the semester you’ll have to present me with a 20 chapter’s novel about anything you want, as long as it follows the rules of the house.” And moving to the white board she kept talking. “So, what is it you have to know before you start writing?”

It was by the end of the class that Jared had finally approached by Jensen.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to study, and I can take this class.” Jensen almost smiled. “And I was sent by the people from home. Your parents are trying to reach you…”

“I don’t care.” He was walking away.

“What are you doing?” asked Jensen.

Jared’s long legs carried him away very fast. “Avoiding you.”

“Well, then I shouldn’t tell you Rachel passed away.” Jared stopped and hesitated before keep walking.

Jared saw Jensen the next morning as he walked into campus, Still not back long enough to have his license back. And suddenly he missed something, missed the moments of companionship they shared, the groans Jensen let out every time they got in trouble, which was quite often.

It impacted him so much he even wrote one of his assignments about it. His piece “The willow missing his shadow” granted him the top score on his first quarter and he had girls and boys fawning for him, the sensible brokenhearted poet.

Now imagine the color of his face when a couple kids said that to him; in his face. He couldn’t ignore the short of Jensen or the way he was leaving as fast as he could to not laugh right away.

“Something funny?” Jared asked after him catched up with him.

“No, not really, Oh, great brokenhearted poet.” Jensen smiled. The kind of smiles that makes him crinkle his face.

Jared rubbed his neck and rolled his eyes. “It’s just homework.”

“Yeah I got it, the poor cat almost falling from the cupboard? Like the one from your mother’s birthday?” Jared felt his face getting hot. “Condoms and Joanna?”

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