#102 - a honc like you
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THIS JOURNAL LOGS IPS.
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1. No posting f-locked content.
2. No linking between RL and online identities.
3. Keep the actor gossip to these posts or take it to spn_gossip4. Keep spoilery information out of thread titles ( Read more... )
Yeah, a Sam without that longing for normal could be scary, though he could also have a longing for normal lost rather than a longing for normal imagined. I think he might have had a more realistic warts-and-all memory of life with John and Mary earlier than Dean did, though; "it wasn't perfect till she died" seems like the kind of thing Sam would have admitted and gotten angry about in adolescence, rather than at 30.
I've always thought, though, in a very uninformed armchair psychology way, that some of Sam's tendency to dissociate and shut down in the face of damage comes from the age at which he lost his mother. He wasn't in canon emotionally traumatized by it the way Dean was, but going through very early developmental stages with one parent gone, another parent grieving and obsessed, and some of his caretaking coming from a traumatized kid way too young for the job -- I think that left its mark on Sam. If he'd had four and a half years of reasonably stable even if not unproblematic nurturing that he didn't have in canon, and then suffered a major trauma of loss at a conscious age and then overresponsibility that Dean suffered in canon, who knows how his responses might have changed? This is why I find something that goes AU at such a formative age rather than when the person is at least in late childhood very hard to conceptualize.
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I think I'm going to go with Sam leaving in part because he was annoyed that John wouldn't just keep going to find YED until it was over, but leaving for that normal life and not to hunt on his own. Then going scary MS!Sam style after he's spurred back into hunting later on. :D
Which could be fun too, depending on how it was played out. Would this Sam even want Dean with him? Or would he feel overprotective and would prefer that Dean stay away for his own good while Sam did the dangerous stuff? Is John still around at this point or has he vanished, or maybe been killed? If John disappeared under mysterious circumstances, maybe Sam keeps Dean with him because it's safer than leaving Dean completely alone - and Dean is resentful because he isn't really sure that he wants to be hunting with Sam and yet Sam's all that's left of his family and he doesn't want to do it alone either.
I also agree that Mary's death and Sam's infancy and early childhood had a big impact on him and in a different way than it did for Dean. And agreed too, it's hard to put things together when you are dealing with an AU that splits from canon so early on. It's why I tend to be more forgiving of things not exactly matching up as they might in reality, as long as certain canon characteristics are still there.
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