Big Bang/Exchange Fic Discussion #1
Post your threads for Big Bangs and exchange fics here.
Format like so:
SUBJECT: Title [Pairing, Rating] by AUTHOR
CONTENT: Art by whoever
http://url of the master post on the BB comm.
Show and Fandom | Actor Gossip | Off-Topic | Reference | Flatview
Format like so:
SUBJECT: Title [Pairing, Rating] by AUTHOR
CONTENT: Art by whoever
http://url of the master post on the BB comm.
Show and Fandom | Actor Gossip | Off-Topic | Reference | Flatview
I really liked the first part of this fic! It's funny and self-referential, with just a light enough touch to make me laugh out loud.
BUT then the fic body proper starts, and it's lost me completely, starting with:
[Castiel] had been in contact with the demon Crowley for some time. The demon had once been an angel, ranking even higher than Anna before his fall.
ORLY? It's used to handwave/set up the plot device of Castiel asking Crowley (instead of Gabriel, who is still alive!) for help in starting a prank war against Dean, but nope, not buying it. The rest of the fic flows awkwardly, with some parts overwritten such as these THREE paragraphs of Castiel waiting to meet Crowley:
Castiel closed his phone before zapping to the meeting place immediately. He needed some time to prepare for this conversation.
He had finally convinced himself of a suitable way to approach the subject- Inform Crowley of his plan and use a lightly veiled threat to ensure his cooperation- when the designated meeting time came. As expected, Castiel merely had to turn around to see Crowley standing there by a statue of a dog.
Castiel advanced, mentally preparing once more. The deal-making demon simply turned and nodded in acknowledgment, completely ignoring Castiel’s would-be posturing. Crowley’s smug expression almost made Castiel reconsider asking for advice- it’s more a consultation than anything, really.
And it doesn't quite recover from that point. You'd think that a fic that just wrote a super-long scene of Castiel gathering his courage to contact Crowley and ask for help in starting a prank war would be just as overwritten for the rest of it? Ah, but then you'd be wrong, for the pranks go by pretty quickly, Dean assumes Sam did them instead of Castiel, Castiel is bummed, Crowley suddenly shows up claiming Dean's contract which he breaks by kissing Dean--
AND THEN IT'S SUDDENLY THREE MONTHS LATER, AND DEAN AND CASTIEL HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE MONTHS, SO WE DIDN'T EVEN SEE DEAN LEARNING ABOUT CASTIEL'S FEELINGS AND HOW THEY GOT TOEGETHER.
Why, author? Why would you do that? Why would you focus on Crowley so much that the D/C is pasted on yay? It's not even a matter of the fic being from Crowley's POV, because it isn't.
This author has plenty of potential, I feel, but they really need a beta to help out in culling the extra fat and help focus the story better. If it weren't a D/C exchange story I wouldn't care as much about how this one played out, but the D/C is so... blink and you'll miss it.
Hah, LOL, it's been a while since a fic started out strongly and suddenly detoured me into flailing frustration.
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