There's [No] Beauty in the Breakdown
I'm sorry... everyone... Death's right... about everything...
I've been terrible to all of you. I'm a monstrous freak. and a horrible friend. I don't even know how to be a friend. I just use and abuse all of you.
I'm so dark inside. The mirrors showed me. In limbo. I saw the darkness and the power lust and my undeniable attraction to evil and how selfish and histrionic I am and I'm just... I'm so sorry. In Hell I saw horrible lies. But Limbo - it showed me the truth. What could have been. But never will. Because of who I am. I saw who I am and... I can never reconcile that. I've been in this place before. Recognizing the darkness. But I try to say I can change. Convince myself as much as you all. But its who I am. And just...
You can all... you don't need to have anything to do with me anymore if you don't want to... I'll understand...
Andy... I wish you the best of luck with Death. At least she's looking out for you. For your best interests... She's right... I need to let you go. I need to stop caring about you because I'll just keep doing horrible things to you. Breaking up with me wasn't enough. I know... I know you're just too nice to tell me to stay away. But I should. Its not fair to you. Or Az.... And Death made me realize that so I'm leaving you be for now on. You're better off without me in your life. Period. Goodbye my Andybee.
::sobbing uncontrollably now::
Mags, I'm sorry. I can't be your bridesmaid. I don't want to ruin your wedding. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I just bring you down and I've been so judgmental to you and horrible and... if I'm in your wedding it'll just be trouble and you don't need that... And the baby... Oh Maggie I'm so happy for you and Pat and I know you said I could be an aunt but I can't... I can't be in your little girl's life, tainting her and influencing her with all the bad that's inside of me... And you shouldn't have to deal with me anymore... you have your own family to worry about...
Eddie, Harry, Tessa... you're... I love you guys so much but I can't bring you down anymore. I've cried on your shoulders too many times. And I've betrayed you and been so awful. Tess, when you started with Dean... And Eddie... I went after you with the friggin colt! And what I did with you when I was evil... And Harry... I attacked you!!!! I can't - I'm sorry you guys have had to tolerate me for so long, but I'm done now.
Casey and Brady, you took me in, you defended me, and I just... picked up and left you as soon as Az came back...
Sam, you tried to get me help once. But I'm just... this is too far beyond that... No one can change what I am...
War, Death, I understand why you treat me as you do now. I'm... I'm an abomination.
Everyone else... I'm so so sorry. For everything...
I'm going to stay at Azzy's place for awhile. He's the only one that doesn't think I'm a monster. Who can love me for who I am. And... he's away on demon stuff right now but I'm sure he won't mind... and... the Siren... what happened with him... I... I hope Azzy will understand...
I'm not - I'm not leaving you. I'm just saying I understand, if you all want to leave me.