My Devotion 2 & 3 (Team Heaven)
Title: Illumination (My Devotion series, part 2 of 7)
Author: NightsWhisper/Nalana
Characters/Pairing(s): Uriel, mentions of Anna, Castiel, and Lucifer
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none?
Summary:
Series- A reflection of each of where team heaven character’s loyalties lie.
Story- We had grown weak. We were disgusting. We could never dream to be as brillant as He.
Word Count: 708
Disclaimer: Never owned, never will.
Of all of my brethren he was the one I found most aspiring. Though all offered their services and advice it was his brilliance that I found the greatest warmth from. He often extended his hand to those of lesser duties such as Castiel and myself. He would bring us with him to scour the universe of the malicious sins even though our aim was not as precise or our weapons as sharp as his own. His tolerance to our burdening capabilities was inspiring.
That was not to say that we were useless. My strike was fierce and fast. I could mesmerize and convince those of sin of their wrong doings with very little effort. I was always good with words, much more so when it came to human kind then most of my other brothers and sisters. Where I severely lacked in tongues, sigils, investigation, and other arts Castiel blossomed. We balanced each other nicely in those respects. I often believe it is why we often worked together. But for all our achievement, Lucifer remained twenty times more magnificent. Never was one movement misplaced. To see him in battle was to see glory itself.
He was perfection, to be simple. If my duty to our father had allowed it, I would have followed him until the end of our existence. But the Lord had other plans for him. While his departure left an empty spot within our ranks, I did not question it. I wasn’t made to question. And Lucifer was deserving of any post of privilege. He deserved the world. That, he did try to take.
The movement to change the humans led to his own destruction. The path threw him into an inconsolable madness. The actions I witnessed the day they threw my mentor into the depts. Of his prison will never fade. Never again would I be able to look at my family in the same light.
At the same time, I had seen the chaos that had been caused by Lucifer’s actions. So I kept my silence. I continued my servitude without any appearance of alteration. I was devoted, focusing with an intensity that went beyond many of my kind even with our various natures.
The performances lead me to my position on Anna’s team. She was a brilliant commander that I must admit. She was inspiring. Her confidence almost made me believe the lies I had been telling everyone else. Bur nothing is lasting. That includes angels.
It was some time after Anna’s fall that I had begun to see how crumbled our society had become. We were weak. We were foolish. It was disgusting. I had to remedy this filthy situation.
And so I planned. I plotted. And once by one I started to sway those I spoke to. I implemented every scrap of charm I had observed Lucifer having. With this method I gained many of my kind. Those I could not make see my light saw my other talents. It was the last thing they saw.
But I am not yet ready. There is still one I hope to convince. With Castiel by my side, we could be unstoppable. We could do anything. We could bring back our mentor back to us. To feel his warmth, his thanks; it would make all these torturous years of self-isolation worth the disgusting wait.
I fear, though, that Castiel is slipping. That pathetic monkey has made him weak. I hope I am not too late. I will not lose another companion at the hands of the lesser ones. I certainly won’t lose him to that brazen whelp. Still, I cannot deny the wobbling of Castiel’s faith, of his own strength. It’s disturbing.
If he becomes lost, if I cannot make him see where they have all gone wrong, I fear the actions I must take. I don’t want to be like the monsters I saw that day; ripping, pushing, tearing away, and abandoning. I don’t want to be the death of a brother who meant no wrong.
But no life is as splendorous as his was. None have the same value. It is to Lucifer’s grandeur that I strive. I will do whatever it takes to see him shine once more.
Title: The Broken Road (My Devotion series, part 3 of 7)
Author: NightsWhisper/Nalana
Characters/Pairing(s): Anna, mentions of other angels
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none?
Summary:
Series- A reflection of each of where team heaven character’s loyalties lie.
Story- Too long I’ve been dedicated to my own causes. The time for that is over. I too must sacrafice.
Word Count: 1060
Disclaimer: ...you really think I own that quickly after saying I don't? ;)
It’s not an easy thing to do, leaving what you are meant to be. I don’t mean the human notion of destiny. Often that is just a bunch of lies people tell one another to justify their actions. But to leave what you are created for is to abandon not only everything you’ve known, but it’s to abandon yourself. It is to deny your very soul. I guess that makes the occurrence of rebirth to be completely appropriate.
The decision was a long one in coming. Still, I think I was always intended to make it. It just took me a while. It wasn’t that simple of a thing to do. Not the falling, but the watching of humanity. There was so much pain I had the capability of healing. There are so many disasters we could have adverted, but we were forbidden from doing so. They said it was to maintain a balance, to let humans flourish or fail on their own. I don't care. It was still torture.
I took my frustration out on the demons that stepped out of line enough that we were allowed to intervene. My garrison was one of the most feared. I must admit I took a sense of accomplishment from that. But every victory we had against the foul creatures left me feeling less fulfilled. I spent more and more time observing t hose we protected. The more I did, the more my notions began to change. They weren’t as full of dread. I looked at them now with curiosity, and took some pleasure from it.
I didn’t watch and simply see suffering now. I saw the smiles, the tears, the births, the deaths; all of the small things people consider miracles and curses. It was fascinating how much humans could persevere, the faith they could have not only in God but also in one another when they were never ordained to do so. It was refreshing, entrancing.
I suppose I should clarify something. It’s unfair to say that angels can’t feel. We can. We just don’t understand, perceive, or process it in the way humans do. For mortals emotion is a driving force. It acts as instinct, as reason, and as drive. Angels view emotion as fact. IT is information given to us by chemical reactions that help to adapt to a situation. It is an outline, not the content. But the more I watched, the more I began to understand on a level closer to feeling.
Comprehension is dangerous. It leads to further thirst. It is the first stage of want. I realized that I wanted. I wanted life.
Alone, abandoned, left here on earth kept away from my home, I had a gaping hole within me that could not be filled by my faith. I wanted to feel, to be loved. I wanted to be a part of a society that expressed more than complacency.
At the same time I did not forget my obligation to my Father and to that of my garrison. I did believe in God. I believed in the work that angels did, even though I thought we should be able to do more. But my doubts were strong, and I knew they would only affect my performance and the safety and sanctity of both figures.
So, I fell.
And it was brilliant. The childhood memories of puppies and birthday cake, the awkward preteen years were EVERYTHING feels like the world is falling down around you, the slightly less insane teenage years that you spend with your hormones out of wack. It was all magnificent. Youth is to be treasured. Everything is so much more dramatic, intense, and flavorful then. Well, at least for most humans. It’s often not realized until older ages bring on a bought of nostalgia. But it should be loved in the moment, every crush, heartbreak, disappointment, and success.
That’s over now. I stand here fully aware of what I was and what I had given up. No, that’s not right. I know who I am and what I avoid. Still, even with this melancholy I’ll never regret a moment of my decision. To feel gave me life.
I wish more than anything I did not have to return. But I have more to be dedicated now then just myself, or to the garrison, or even God himself. The very world is being ripped apart at her seams. I though hearing from the other angels was terrifying. The fear is nothing compared to when you can sense the entire existence of the universe twisting and bowing under the forces that stretch it to its fullest capacities.
I have to do something. While humans are vital in our plans, they are not enough. The angels need to rally together. They must ignore the factions that have started to spring up upon them. They need to stop being petty and so calculating. They need those who can feel. They need angels like me.
I could help. If I can find my grace, I’ll be able to fight. I’ll be able to hide. I’ll be able to do SOMETHING. Maybe I could even convince others of my view. They know now my horrible secret of falling. Maybe I can make them see why.
Castiel seems susceptible. The other angels have increasingly spoken of his wavering. They feel he’s becoming soft. They feel him shifting. His dedication to his ward is becoming stronger than his duty to his superiors. Unlike them, I hope this true. They underestimate him, his power and capabilities. He would be a welcomed ally. Perhaps his change could even persuade Uriel. He hasn’t been the same angel he was created since they tore away Lucifer.
I take a deep breath. Among the night air are traces of rubber and rust. I revel in the human sentiments it brings to me. I’ll miss this.
Soon I may not be able to feel this. I may return to my old stoic self. I hope not. But I would not protest the justice of it if I did. I’ve been supporting my own cause for too long. If I do not return to the battlefield, all that I sacrificed will be meaningless. Without a change, all that I so desired will be gone. It’s time I buckled down.
It’s time to join team Winchester.
Author: NightsWhisper/Nalana
Characters/Pairing(s): Uriel, mentions of Anna, Castiel, and Lucifer
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none?
Summary:
Series- A reflection of each of where team heaven character’s loyalties lie.
Story- We had grown weak. We were disgusting. We could never dream to be as brillant as He.
Word Count: 708
Disclaimer: Never owned, never will.
Of all of my brethren he was the one I found most aspiring. Though all offered their services and advice it was his brilliance that I found the greatest warmth from. He often extended his hand to those of lesser duties such as Castiel and myself. He would bring us with him to scour the universe of the malicious sins even though our aim was not as precise or our weapons as sharp as his own. His tolerance to our burdening capabilities was inspiring.
That was not to say that we were useless. My strike was fierce and fast. I could mesmerize and convince those of sin of their wrong doings with very little effort. I was always good with words, much more so when it came to human kind then most of my other brothers and sisters. Where I severely lacked in tongues, sigils, investigation, and other arts Castiel blossomed. We balanced each other nicely in those respects. I often believe it is why we often worked together. But for all our achievement, Lucifer remained twenty times more magnificent. Never was one movement misplaced. To see him in battle was to see glory itself.
He was perfection, to be simple. If my duty to our father had allowed it, I would have followed him until the end of our existence. But the Lord had other plans for him. While his departure left an empty spot within our ranks, I did not question it. I wasn’t made to question. And Lucifer was deserving of any post of privilege. He deserved the world. That, he did try to take.
The movement to change the humans led to his own destruction. The path threw him into an inconsolable madness. The actions I witnessed the day they threw my mentor into the depts. Of his prison will never fade. Never again would I be able to look at my family in the same light.
At the same time, I had seen the chaos that had been caused by Lucifer’s actions. So I kept my silence. I continued my servitude without any appearance of alteration. I was devoted, focusing with an intensity that went beyond many of my kind even with our various natures.
The performances lead me to my position on Anna’s team. She was a brilliant commander that I must admit. She was inspiring. Her confidence almost made me believe the lies I had been telling everyone else. Bur nothing is lasting. That includes angels.
It was some time after Anna’s fall that I had begun to see how crumbled our society had become. We were weak. We were foolish. It was disgusting. I had to remedy this filthy situation.
And so I planned. I plotted. And once by one I started to sway those I spoke to. I implemented every scrap of charm I had observed Lucifer having. With this method I gained many of my kind. Those I could not make see my light saw my other talents. It was the last thing they saw.
But I am not yet ready. There is still one I hope to convince. With Castiel by my side, we could be unstoppable. We could do anything. We could bring back our mentor back to us. To feel his warmth, his thanks; it would make all these torturous years of self-isolation worth the disgusting wait.
I fear, though, that Castiel is slipping. That pathetic monkey has made him weak. I hope I am not too late. I will not lose another companion at the hands of the lesser ones. I certainly won’t lose him to that brazen whelp. Still, I cannot deny the wobbling of Castiel’s faith, of his own strength. It’s disturbing.
If he becomes lost, if I cannot make him see where they have all gone wrong, I fear the actions I must take. I don’t want to be like the monsters I saw that day; ripping, pushing, tearing away, and abandoning. I don’t want to be the death of a brother who meant no wrong.
But no life is as splendorous as his was. None have the same value. It is to Lucifer’s grandeur that I strive. I will do whatever it takes to see him shine once more.
Title: The Broken Road (My Devotion series, part 3 of 7)
Author: NightsWhisper/Nalana
Characters/Pairing(s): Anna, mentions of other angels
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none?
Summary:
Series- A reflection of each of where team heaven character’s loyalties lie.
Story- Too long I’ve been dedicated to my own causes. The time for that is over. I too must sacrafice.
Word Count: 1060
Disclaimer: ...you really think I own that quickly after saying I don't? ;)
It’s not an easy thing to do, leaving what you are meant to be. I don’t mean the human notion of destiny. Often that is just a bunch of lies people tell one another to justify their actions. But to leave what you are created for is to abandon not only everything you’ve known, but it’s to abandon yourself. It is to deny your very soul. I guess that makes the occurrence of rebirth to be completely appropriate.
The decision was a long one in coming. Still, I think I was always intended to make it. It just took me a while. It wasn’t that simple of a thing to do. Not the falling, but the watching of humanity. There was so much pain I had the capability of healing. There are so many disasters we could have adverted, but we were forbidden from doing so. They said it was to maintain a balance, to let humans flourish or fail on their own. I don't care. It was still torture.
I took my frustration out on the demons that stepped out of line enough that we were allowed to intervene. My garrison was one of the most feared. I must admit I took a sense of accomplishment from that. But every victory we had against the foul creatures left me feeling less fulfilled. I spent more and more time observing t hose we protected. The more I did, the more my notions began to change. They weren’t as full of dread. I looked at them now with curiosity, and took some pleasure from it.
I didn’t watch and simply see suffering now. I saw the smiles, the tears, the births, the deaths; all of the small things people consider miracles and curses. It was fascinating how much humans could persevere, the faith they could have not only in God but also in one another when they were never ordained to do so. It was refreshing, entrancing.
I suppose I should clarify something. It’s unfair to say that angels can’t feel. We can. We just don’t understand, perceive, or process it in the way humans do. For mortals emotion is a driving force. It acts as instinct, as reason, and as drive. Angels view emotion as fact. IT is information given to us by chemical reactions that help to adapt to a situation. It is an outline, not the content. But the more I watched, the more I began to understand on a level closer to feeling.
Comprehension is dangerous. It leads to further thirst. It is the first stage of want. I realized that I wanted. I wanted life.
Alone, abandoned, left here on earth kept away from my home, I had a gaping hole within me that could not be filled by my faith. I wanted to feel, to be loved. I wanted to be a part of a society that expressed more than complacency.
At the same time I did not forget my obligation to my Father and to that of my garrison. I did believe in God. I believed in the work that angels did, even though I thought we should be able to do more. But my doubts were strong, and I knew they would only affect my performance and the safety and sanctity of both figures.
So, I fell.
And it was brilliant. The childhood memories of puppies and birthday cake, the awkward preteen years were EVERYTHING feels like the world is falling down around you, the slightly less insane teenage years that you spend with your hormones out of wack. It was all magnificent. Youth is to be treasured. Everything is so much more dramatic, intense, and flavorful then. Well, at least for most humans. It’s often not realized until older ages bring on a bought of nostalgia. But it should be loved in the moment, every crush, heartbreak, disappointment, and success.
That’s over now. I stand here fully aware of what I was and what I had given up. No, that’s not right. I know who I am and what I avoid. Still, even with this melancholy I’ll never regret a moment of my decision. To feel gave me life.
I wish more than anything I did not have to return. But I have more to be dedicated now then just myself, or to the garrison, or even God himself. The very world is being ripped apart at her seams. I though hearing from the other angels was terrifying. The fear is nothing compared to when you can sense the entire existence of the universe twisting and bowing under the forces that stretch it to its fullest capacities.
I have to do something. While humans are vital in our plans, they are not enough. The angels need to rally together. They must ignore the factions that have started to spring up upon them. They need to stop being petty and so calculating. They need those who can feel. They need angels like me.
I could help. If I can find my grace, I’ll be able to fight. I’ll be able to hide. I’ll be able to do SOMETHING. Maybe I could even convince others of my view. They know now my horrible secret of falling. Maybe I can make them see why.
Castiel seems susceptible. The other angels have increasingly spoken of his wavering. They feel he’s becoming soft. They feel him shifting. His dedication to his ward is becoming stronger than his duty to his superiors. Unlike them, I hope this true. They underestimate him, his power and capabilities. He would be a welcomed ally. Perhaps his change could even persuade Uriel. He hasn’t been the same angel he was created since they tore away Lucifer.
I take a deep breath. Among the night air are traces of rubber and rust. I revel in the human sentiments it brings to me. I’ll miss this.
Soon I may not be able to feel this. I may return to my old stoic self. I hope not. But I would not protest the justice of it if I did. I’ve been supporting my own cause for too long. If I do not return to the battlefield, all that I sacrificed will be meaningless. Without a change, all that I so desired will be gone. It’s time I buckled down.
It’s time to join team Winchester.