Promises, Promises, part 2 of 2
Dean spent an uncomfortable few hours channel surfing and trying to stay awake. At 5am he carefully moved Julia off of him to go to the bathroom and when he got back she was up, making coffee. They had some toast and Julia showered before they left, changing into jeans and a denim shirt that brought out the blue of her eyes. She had tied her hair back off her face and looked younger and prettier without make-up. They didn’t say much until they got in the car; Dean always felt more relaxed when he was driving, he just wished it was his Baby and not this piece of crap jeep.
Julia told Dean about her little sister and Dean chipped in with tales about Sam when they were younger and before they knew it they were approaching The Park.
“Let’s start at the Rangers Office.” Dean suggested and for a moment wondered what fake ID to use, before realising he no longer had any, as Sam had burned them. Also, he was here legitimately to help a friend find her sister.
The Ranger on Duty was a stout guy with white hair and a thick moustache, in his late 50”s Dean guessed. He often wondered if cloning existed because he had seen variations of this man in every ranger’s office, police station, court house and coroner’s office he had ever been to over the years. He looked grim when they asked after the missing girls.
“I’m sorry to inform you miss that we have no clue as to your sister and her friends whereabouts. They were seen leaving the campsite and heading towards the ridge, but no one has seen them since then. We had trackers out but the trail went cold a couple of miles along.”
“No!” Julia shook her head. “This isn’t happening! There must be something you can do! What about a helicopter, sniffer dogs….”
“Choppers are no use, it’s too densely forested. The trackers had dogs with them. I am really sorry, but we have no further clues at this time.” The Ranger sighed and leaned against the untidy desk.
“Could you show us on the map where exactly the trail ran cold?” Dean asked, speaking for the first time. He had noticed a large map of the Park pinned on the wall behind the Ranger.
“You’re not thinking of going out there yourselves are you?” The Ranger eyed Dean shrewdly. “We don’t know what happened to those girls and…”
“I think it would help Julia to go there, just to see for herself where her sister was last seen.” Dean replied.
“Yes, it would.” Julia agreed. “I might spot something she dropped that no one else would know was hers. I might be able to do something.”
Julia’s desperation obviously affected the Ranger, who cleared his throat and nodded. “Okay, alright. But I’m sending a ranger with you.”
The ranger they were allocated, Nick Wilson, drove them to the campsite where Julia’s sister had stayed. He was a tall, shaggy haired guy in his mid-twenties, he reminded Dean of a younger Sam, very earnest and polite. They set off along the trail and it was a warm, sunny day, the sky was blue with a few little white clouds scattered over it, making the forest looked beautiful, but Dean knew what could be lurking in the trees and prayed that his growing fear was misplaced.
Julia was quiet as they walked along, which suited Dean as he couldn’t think of anything to say that didn’t sound like a platitude. Nick seemed anxious and Dean fell into step with him.
“So do you guys have any idea what’s happened? Off the record?” He asked quietly, not wanting Julia to hear.
Nick glanced at Julia who was walking a few feet ahead and slowed his pace a little. “Well, the older guys have a theory, but its way out there.”
“Okay. Shoot.”
“Several young girls went missing in the Park thirty years ago, and some folks say it happened thirty years before that. Same thing, they just disappeared. Never found, not a trace.” Nick shuddered and Dean suppressed a shudder of his own. The forest suddenly seemed colder and it was too quiet.
“Are there any caves around these parts? A place something…I mean someone could hide the bodies?”
“Sure, there’s a waterfall just a few miles along, but the caves were searched,” he paused. “Well, the larger caves anyhow. There’s no way of knowing how many smaller caves there are or even where they are. It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack.”
“Has anyone ever seen anything suspicious?” Dean asked.
“Well people see all kinds of things in the woods, bears, mountain lions, even had one guy swear he saw a moving tree. I think he’d seen Lord of the Rings too many times!” Nick laughed nervously.
Dean chuckled too but his mind was racing. A walking tree sounded fantastical, but also familiar. He wished he could ask Sam, but he was on his own with this one.
Julia stopped suddenly and her hand flew to her mouth. “Dean!”
Dean reached her quickly and followed her gaze. On the ground by the base of a tree trunk was a scarf, blue with tiny white stars all over it. He picked it up and handed it to Julia.
“It’s hers, Debra’s,” Julia said, her voice shaky. “She uses it to tie her hair back.”
“It doesn’t mean anything,” Dean said, hoping his voice was reassuring.
“Actually, it may mean something,” Nick said gravely, checking his map and looking around. “This is near where the trail ran cold.”
“Oh God!” Julia looked so pale Dean was afraid she might pass out and helped her to sit down on the dusty ground.
“Take a deep breath,” Dean said, kneeling beside her.
“You two stay here and I’ll look around. I can’t believe we missed that scarf. I’ll see if there are any other signs.” Nick said, his eyes scanning the immediate area.
“I don’t think we should split up,” Dean said, anxiously.
“I won’t go far and I have my rifle and radio. I’ll be back in ten.” Nick gave them a slight grin. “If I see any walking trees I’ll run fast!”
He strode away and Dean was torn between following him and staying with Julia.
“What’s he on about? Walking trees?” Julia asked, gripping Dean’s sleeve so tightly he wasn’t going anywhere right now.
“The guy’s a Lord of the Rings fan,” Dean shrugged. “Nick the nerd.”
After ten minutes Dean was starting to get concerned. After twenty minutes he just knew something was wrong. Julia sensed his fear and they waited anxiously, Julia sitting with her knees up to her chin and Dean pacing the area around them. The forest was making him uneasy; it was too quiet, there was no bird song, and not even any insects buzzing around.
“That’s it, we’re going to look for him.” Dean announced after thirty minutes.
“He said to wait here….” Julia said anxiously.
“He also said he wouldn’t be long.” Dean held his hand out and Julia took it, standing up and brushing the dust from her jeans. “C’mon, we’ll circle around then head back to the campsite if there’s no sign of him.” Dean got out his cell phone. “We should call the Rangers headquarters - damn, the signal is crap out here.”
“Use mine.” Julia pulled her cell from her pocket. “Shit. Sorry, same problem.”
They walked along the trail a short way and then Dean spotted some flattened vegetation leading off the path. He followed it cautiously, Julia behind him and was suddenly hit by the smell of fresh blood, almost tripping over Nick, who was lying in a clump of ferns with a huge hole where his stomach had once been.
Julia screamed, her cry breaking the oppressive silence, and Dean dropped to his knees, checking Nick’s pulse although he knew it was pointless. Nick’s eyes were open and his face contorted in pain and fear. Not a good way to die.
There was no sign of a weapon and Dean looked around the area briefly as he stood back up and pulled Julia into a hug. She was shaking and sobbing so hard. Dean was so used to death, blood and horror that he sometimes forgot how shocking it was to normal folk. Although he was used to it, he still felt intense sorrow and anger that a life had been taken.
“Hey, listen to me. We have to get out of here. I need you to take some deep breaths, calm down and keep moving, okay?” Dean said gently. He eased Nick’s radio from his dead hand. “I’m going to call the Rangers station.”
Julia nodded and took a deep breath, then moved away from him, glancing once at Nick’s body and then moving away, still sobbing and shaking, but moving.
Dean told the Ranger Headquarters what had happened and they advised him to get back to the campsite, they would deal with the body and the police were also on the way. Dean had no intention of hanging around with Julia, especially without any kind of weapon. There was no sign of Nick’s rifle near his body.
They got back to the campsite and waited for the Rangers. Julia sat on a bench and looked up at Dean. “I suppose you’re used to it,” she said.
Dean was a little taken aback, thinking she had guessed his secret. “Used to what?”
“Death. Seeing maimed bodies. You know, being a soldier,” she shuddered and he sat down next to her, taking her hand. She felt cold despite the warmth of the day and he pulled her against his body.
“Yeah, it’s not the first dead body I’ve seen.” Dean agreed. “Poor kid.”
Julia started to cry again then and Dean let her, just holding her close, knowing she was in shock. A team of rangers and paramedics arrived a few minutes later and Dean told them what had happened. They arranged for Dean and Julia to be taken back to Headquarters and once there Dean repeated his story to the Chief Ranger, who was understandably shocked and saddened by the news of Nick’s death.
They drove home in silence, both of them worried and anxious, both wanting to do something, anything, but knowing it was out of their hands. Dean offered to take Julia home and to tell Joe she was sick, but she insisted on working, not wanting to be alone with her thoughts.
Dean thought long and hard about what to tell Sam, because he knew he couldn’t leave Julia alone and opted for a part-truth again. He rang Sam just before his shift started and told him that Julia’s sister had gone missing, she was upset and wanted to Dean to stay over again. He asked Sam to bring some clean clothes to the bar for him.
Dean was waiting outside the bar and heard the familiar rumble of Impala as Sam drove into the car park and parked her. Sam climbed out with a scowl on his face, already suspicious. “So when did she go missing? And where?” He said without any preamble as Dean approached him.
“She was camping, in the woods. She’s with other girls, they’re probably just lost and….” Dean tried to sound calm but Sam knew him too well.
“So your trip to the woods, it was a hunt?” Sam said irritably.
“No, it wasn’t. I just agreed to go with Julia. I didn’t take a weapon, I’ve not done any research.” Dean said, suddenly feeling weary and leaning against the familiar hardness of his Baby’s hood.
“Bull crap,” Sam hissed, keeping his voice low. “You’re hunting.”
“I’m not, honest. Julia just needed someone with her. It’s probably nothing…”
“It’s never nothing, Dean.” Sam sighed. “Just don’t do anything stupid. You promised!”
“Okay, okay, I get it.” Dean agreed, just to shut Sam up.
“Look, if it’s something unnatural, we’ll make some calls. Get some hunters up there.” Sam said, running his hand through his hair.
“Sure. Good idea,” Dean nodded. “Thanks Sam, for bringing the stuff. And don’t worry. I’m not about to go chasing monsters with one good arm.”
“Hmmm.” Sam didn’t look convinced. “Well, I gotta go. Be good.” He opened the back door and handed Dean the bag containing his clean clothes. “Call me if you hear anything?”
“I will, Sammy, thanks,” Dean said then turned back towards the bar.
The shift dragged on for both Dean and Julia and by the time they got back to her apartment they were exhausted. Julia headed for bed and got blankets out for Dean who was taking the couch. He waited until she had gone to bed to use her laptop and found pretty quickly what he had been looking for.
“Fucking hell.” He whispered to himself. “Not another one.” It was a Leshi, he was pretty sure of it now and the lore seemed to match what he knew so far. He scrolled through various sites.
“Leshies are terribly mischievous beings: they have horrible cries, and can imitate voices of people familiar to wanderers and lure them back to their caves, where the Leshies will tickle them to death. Leshies aren’t evil: although they enjoy misguiding humans and kidnapping young women…”
“A Leshi usually appears as a tall man, but he is able to change his size from that of a blade of grass to a very tall tree.”
“Leshi is ……a very dangerous creature that hunts woodland creatures and lone wanderers. It has the ability to polymorph. ……. It mostly lurks among the tree branches, from which it quickly jumps on its victims. It usually devours the whole prey. Its mightiest weapon is the ability to shift shape. It can morph into a humanoid being that looks like a harmless, old man or into a tree branch that is practically identical to real ones.”
“Fuck.” Dean whispered again, as he remembered the Leshi they had hunted previously. That one had transformed itself into its victim’s hero and Sam had killed it by chopping its head off while it was in the form of Paris Hilton. “You’re not like your sister. She was a fame whore. You just like chowing down on young girls.” Dean shut the laptop quietly. How the hell was he going to find a creature that could polymorph? And how could he chop its head off using an axe with only one functioning arm?
Dean’s head was pounding and he knew he had to get some rest. He hadn’t slept the night before and he lay on the sofa, hoping that he could sleep without having any nightmares. He eventually drifted off to sleep and it was not long before he had one of his usual nightmares, where all the people he had tortured were chasing him with knives, axes, pitchforks and pokers, slashing at his skin even as he ran, blood running down his legs, down his face…
“Dean!” Julia’s frightened voice startled him and, caught in the moment of the dream, he lashed out with his good arm, hitting her in the face. She screamed in shock and pain and Dean was instantly awake, his heart pounding, his breathing too fast. He was on the floor, he must have fallen from the sofa at some point and Julia was kneeling by him, holding her hand to her mouth. A trickle of blood ran through her fingers.
“Oh God, Julia, I’m so sorry!” Dean sat up. “Fuck…I’ve hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I would never...”
“S’okay,” Julia said, her voice muffled by her hand. “I shouldn’t have woken you but, well, the neighbours were banging on the wall.”
“Oh fuck.” Dean sighed. So he’d woken the neighbours too. Peachy. He go to his feet and helped her up. “I’m real sorry, Julia. Let’s get you cleaned up. Do you have ice?”
Julia’s lip was split and a little swollen. Dean sat her on a kitchen chair and wiped the blood away gently and got some ice from the freezer, wrapped it cloth and handed it to her. She held it carefully against her lip.
“That was some nightmare,” she said, looking concerned. “Do you get them often?”
Dean hesitated, pacing the small kitchen floor; she already thought he was a freak, if he told her this was a nightly thing she would think he was a grade A freak. Then he recalled Cas telling him to trust her, so he took a deep breath and looked at Julia before admitting, “Every damned night.”
“Oh God,” Julia’s eyes filled with tears. “That’s just awful. Have you had counselling? You have PTSD, Dean, you should…”
“Nothing helps.” Dean cut her off, wishing now he hadn’t been honest. “I can’t…I don’t want to talk about it. Not now. We need to focus on finding Debra.”
“Okay, but if you need to talk anytime, I’m here. And Dean,” she stood up and grabbed his hands, pulling him to her. “If we are going to be friends, more than friends, you need to trust me.”
Dean smiled. “I do. Trust you. It’s just…”
“Bad-timing. Again.” Julia smiled back and then stretched up to kiss him, Dean moving his head down to meet her lips with his own. It was a brief, sweet kiss, Dean being very careful of her split lip. “God, timing sucks.” Julia sighed as they pulled apart.
“Doesn’t it always?” Dean grinned ruefully. “I’m sorry again for waking you. Please, go back to bed.”
“Only if you come with me,” she smiled. “I feel safer with you near me.” She held out her hand and he took it, following her into the bedroom. The window was open and a breeze was making the curtains move and the small room cool. There was just enough room for Julia’s bed, a wardrobe and a dressing table that was laden with more books than make-up and jewellery.
Dean lay once more with Julia resting against him, wishing this was a normal situation, that he wasn’t a freak and that he could share a bed with this lovely woman for real. Julia had fallen asleep quickly and Dean envied her as she breathed deeply beside him in a peaceful sleep. Dean had to make a decision should he go back to the woods alone and try to track this Leshi, or involve other hunters? However, unless there were hunters fairly nearby, that could take time, time that the girls didn’t have. Dean had to save Debra, for Julia. He wanted her to be happy and not to go through the agony of losing her kid sister. Dean was only too aware of that pain from losing Sam too many times.
If he took a gun he could injure the beast, slow it down enough to get close and lop its head off. His left arm was strong now, he could do it. “You promised, Dean.” Sam’s accusing voice said in his head.
“I’m sorry Sammy, I didn’t go looking for a hunt, it just kinda fell into my lap,” Dean answered silently. He was more successful at moving away from Julia this time and left her sleeping as he crept out of the apartment before dawn. He left her a note, “Needed some air. I’ll call you later.”
Dean drove home and parked a couple of blocks away so Sam wouldn’t hear him approach. He opened the garage door as silently as possible and retrieved a rucksack, gun, some ammo and an axe from the lock-up they kept in there for “emergencies”.
Dean drove away knowing this was stupid, one of the most stupid things he had ever done but he needed to hunt this creature, for Julia’s sake and for his own. He needed to know he was still capable of doing his job, the family business, saving people, hunting things. It would just be this one time…
“Dean.” Castiel’s deep voice startled him and he almost swerved the car.
“Fuck! Cas, how many fucking times…” Dean grumbled, glaring at his unexpected passenger.
“You are going on a hunt.” Castiel’s voice held a note of reproach.
“How do you - was it Sam?” Dean silently cursed his big-mouthed brother.
“No, it was you,” Castiel sighed. “Our bond has become stronger since your humanity returned. I can sense your fear, your determination and your exhilaration. Only one thing would make you react like this.”
“I can handle this,” Dean said stubbornly. “I need to do this, Cas.”
“No, you need to turn the car around and go home to Sam. And Julia,” Dean feared for a moment that Cas might force him to do just that. But Castiel sighed, “I know you won’t agree to that so I will come with you. I can help.”
Dean frowned and thought for a minute. Cas could transport them to the spot where Debra and her friends had vanished and Nick had been k1illed. It would save time, and Cas could help Dean overcome and kill the Leshi. “Okay. But you follow my lead, Cas. I know your grace is still healing.”
“I am much stronger now. I am almost whole.” Castiel said proudly.
“That’s great, but you’re not fully charged yet,” Dean said. “So when we get to the campsite it should be pretty quiet, it’s still early. You can zap us to the trail….”
“I thought you did not like being zapped?”
“I like monsters eating young girls even less,” Dean said ruefully. “We get to the trail and we track the bastard. You grab him or blast him, anything to get him down on the ground and I’ll chop his fugly head off.”
“What is it?” Castiel asked.
“A Leshi. It can polymorph and can turn into a tree as well as an animal or a human.” Cas inhaled sharply and Dean demanded, “What?”
“Leshies are difficult. They are pagan in origin and therefore do not recognise angelic powers.”
“But you can still use your powers on it?”
“I can try. I will try. And if not I will punch it in the ass.”
“Kick it in the ass, Cas,” Dean chuckled and was suddenly grateful for Castiel’s calm, ethereal presence.
“Thanks, for coming with me.”
“You are always welcome, Dean,” Castiel said. “Always.”
They arrived at the campsite at 5.30 am. Dean parked away from the tents and camper vans, then he readied himself to be “zapped”. He never liked the sensation. It was like being pulled backwards through a dark tunnel at warp speed, but thankfully this time it was almost instantaneous and although he felt the familiar wave of nausea and his legs wobbled, he was okay.
“It’s been here recently,” Castiel announced. “I can smell fresh blood.”
“Crap,” Dean hissed. “Not good.”
“This way.” Castiel took off and Dean struggled to keep up with him, his legs still shaky.
They walked through the undergrowth through a forest of huge redwoods and after about two miles Castiel stopped at the base of the largest tree Dean had ever seen.
“It’s here.” Castiel whispered and Dean hated that he heard a hint of fear in the angels’ voice.
“Here? But there’s no caves or…” Dean looked at the enormous tree again, the base of the trunk was at least ten feet wide. “Fuck.”
“Shush.” Castiel cocked his head, listening. “There is someone crying…inside the tree.”
“Fuck.” Dean whispered, pulling out his axe. “How the hell do we get in there?”
They circled the tree trunk and there was no obvious entry point. Dean was staring up the tree, trying to see if there was an obvious entry point in the trunk, when suddenly he was swept off his feet by a large branch and sent flying through the air, landing heavily in a clump of ferns. He was winded but still conscious and wished he wasn’t when he saw a tree walking towards him, a fucking tree! As it neared him it morphed into an old man with green hair and turquoise eyes.
“Dean!” Castiel cried out and ran towards the creature, throwing himself at it as it raised its club over Dean’s prone body. Castiel managed to knock it to the ground and tried killing it with his power, but the creature laughed and tossed Castiel aside like he was a rag doll.
“You have no dominion over me, angel. My ancestors did not recognise your God; I do not recognise your God, and I cannot be killed so easily,” the creatures’ voice was raspy and Dean guessed it didn’t speak much. “All I require are a few tributes each year to keep me strong. I move from woodland to woodland and take a few humans here and there. The girls were delicious; I am saving one for the winter, but now I also have you two I can feast.” He looked at Castiel, who had got back on his feet, and Dean who was still lying on the floor. “I prefer females but you are both very pretty.”
“We don’t swing that way, Chuckles.” Dean said, sitting upright. The axe was just out of his reach, but he smoothly pulled out his gun and fired two shots at the creature, hitting him in the chest. The creature howled in pain but did not fall down and advanced on Dean looking murderous, its turquoise eyes glowing in its pale face.
“You cannot harm me. Your bullets are like a bee sting to me.” The creature raised its club and smashed it down towards Dean’s face. He brought his good arm up to protect his face and as the club connected he felt his bones splinter and white-hot pain flood through him.
“Dean!” Castiel yelled in alarm but he did not attack the creature this time, instead he was edging towards the axe.
“I-I thought you t-tickled people to death,” Dean said, hoping to distract him.
“I tickled the girls at first, but they did not try to kill me.” The club landed on Dean’s ankle and he couldn’t help the howl of pain that escaped his lips.
“I like my meat tender. I like the bones splintered so I can suck the marrow out. I like to chew the bones.” The creature growled as he raised his club again and Dean knew it was going to strike his leg this time and he was helpless, both arms were now useless.
“Fuck! Fuck you!” Dean sobbed, his arm and ankle both screaming in agony. “We killed one of your kind, one that changed into heroes, liked to be worshipped…”
“That was you?” The creatures face contorted in pain. “She was my sister!” He raised his club again and Dean knew he had to do something, as Castiel had managed to reach the axe, but the Leshi was too tall for Cas to reach its neck. Dean kicked out with his good leg and connected with the creatures ankles, and as it was off-balance, it fell heavily onto its knees next to Dean.
“Now! Now!” Dean screamed and Cas brought the axe round with a dull thud, almost separating the creatures neck from his shoulders. Blood spurted from the wound, a dark green colour, soaking Dean. The creature gave a surprised grunt and lurched forward onto the ground before it died and Castiel pulled the axe out, bringing it down again to completely detach the head from the body.
Dean watched as the body changed into what looked like a fallen tree trunk, with dead leaves and twigs covering it. The head remained humanoid, the eyes were open and vacant, the mouth twisted in shocked surprise.
Dean’s vision swam and he passed out. Castiel roused him gently and Dean expected to be healed, but his arm and ankle were still throbbing and he felt nauseous.
“Dean, I cannot heal you yet. I must find the girl and then get you both back to the campsite. You understand?”
Dean nodded and swallowed the bile threatening to rise up. “S’okay Cas. You go look for the girl, I’ll be fine.”
“I found some painkillers and water in your rucksack. They may help a little.” Castiel helped him to sit up and propped Dean up against the tree trunk that had been the body of the Leshi. Dean couldn’t use either arm, so Castiel fed him the pills and then the water.
“Thanks, Cas.” Dean said faintly. The forest was spinning and he knew he was going to black out again. He had to tell Cas. “The roots, the tree’s roots, may be a tunnel under…under the ground.”
“Good idea, now you rest, Dean. I will take it from here.”
“Cas, you did great. I’m…I’m glad you came…you kicked it in the ass.” Dean saw Cas smile then blackness claimed him again.
Dean opened his eyes at the sound of voices. It was Cas with a young woman, who was hysterically sobbing.
“He ate them! Ate them, all of them, oh God…” She sobbed and as Dean looked over at her, she fell to her knees and vomited. Castiel knelt beside her, holding her hair back from her face.
“There, there, it’s been a terrible shock for you.” Castiel did his best to comfort the traumatised girl.
“Cas…” Dean called out. “Is it…is it Debra?”
“No.” Castiel’s voice was laden with sadness. “I am so sorry.”
The girl sat up and looked at Dean for the first time. “She - Debra - was my best friend!” She sobbed and Castiel patted her shoulder awkwardly.
Then he placed two fingers against her forehead and said “Rest now.” The girl slumped against Castiel and he picked her up, carrying her over to Dean.
“This is Rachel. There was no trace of the other girls. Just dried blood. I am sorry.”
Dean couldn’t speak, he was devastated. Of course he was pleased they had saved Rachel, but how was he going to face Julia? He had failed. Her sister was dead and it was his fault.
“None of this was your fault Dean. You saved this girl,” Castiel said, reading his mind. “Now I am going to take her back to the campsite with you,”
Dean shook his head miserably. “No, wait, you can’t Cas, we need a cover story. You take Rachel back, to the campsite, say we found her, we were attacked, you helped her, she-she passed out and you carried her.”
“But I can’t leave you here alone!” Castiel protested.
“It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” Dean gritted his teeth against another wave of agony.
“I am not happy to leave you Dean, but I see your logic,” Castiel gave him a tight smile. “I will bring assistance as soon as I can.”
Dean nodded and Castiel vanished with the oblivious girl in his arms. He closed his eyes; he was in pain but he knew he deserved it. He had failed. He was fucking useless. He almost got himself killed, possibly Cas too. Sammy was right, all this had achieved was to make himself suffer again. He was used to suffering, he could deal. It was the weight of failure that was too heavy to bear. But they had saved Rachel, that counted for something, didn’t it?
Dean’s head swam and he forced his eyes back open. He couldn’t fall asleep, there were stories of mountain lions in the area and he didn’t want to be anything’s lunch. It was weird being unable to use both arms. In hell he had often been chained with both arms above him, or had them broken, skinned, and sometimes even completely removed. In hell it didn’t matter so much as all he had to do was suffer. Now he had to survive, had to keep strong. Sammy was going to be so pissed with him. Julia was going to be devastated. If a mountain lion approached at least he could kick it. He should have got Cas to make a fire before he left. Scare any predators off. And he was cold. He was so cold. He had failed…his thoughts twisted around in his head until he succumbed to the blackness again.
This time when he woke up he felt the weird sensation of movement and blinked open his eyes in alarm.
“It’s alright, sir, we’re taking you back to the camp. Don’t be alarmed.” A paramedic’s upside down face smiled at him. Dean figured he was on a stretcher, the guy talking to him was at the head of the stretcher and he glanced down to see another paramedic at the foot. “There’s an ambulance waiting for you. The girl you rescued is already on her way to the hospital. She’s got a few cuts and bruises but physically she’ll be fine. My name’s Brian…”
“You talk a lot.” Dean muttered and the other paramedic laughed.
“That’s what I always say!” He chuckled. “Give it a rest, Brian, or he’ll wish he was still unconscious!”
“It’s important to keep the patient engaged and alert.” Brian retorted.
“Dean,” Castiel had caught up and walked alongside them. “How are you?”
“Arm hurts. Ankle hurts. Head’s spinning. Just peachy.” Dean grunted.
“We’re almost there. You’ll be fine once we get you to hospital.”
“No, Cas, not me,” Dean whispered, knowing that Cas intended to heal him as soon as he could. “The girl, Rachel, she can’t, she can’t take it. You-you need to help her.”
“Very well, I will do what I can to help her,” Cas vowed and Dean relaxed a little.
It was a long trip back to the campsite for Dean. Brian and the other paramedic were relieved by two rangers half way back and Dean drifted in a sea of pain and nausea. The constant movement was like being on a boat. I’m fucking seasick, he thought.
“What did you say sir?” One of the rangers asked. “Do you want to be sick?”
Crap, he’d said it aloud. “Nah, s’like being sea-sick. Sea-sick Steve, good guitarist. Makes his own. Fuck, I’m still talking…”
“Don’t worry, it’s the effects of the pain meds we gave you. They may make you feel confused.”
“Not confused, just wanna get off this boat….”
Castiel was there, putting two cool fingers on his forehead, and Dean drifted off to sleep again.
Sam was pissed, livid, angry, incensed and frustrated, but above all he was just fucking glad Dean was still alive. He was driving to the hospital and thumped the Impala’s steering wheel in anger. “Fucking stupid idiot! What the hell!” He sighed. “Sorry, Baby I shouldn’t take it out on you. Huh, I’m getting as bad as my stupid brother, talking to you like you’re a person. But fuck, what the hell is wrong with him? Why can’t he just settle down, be normal? Yeah, I know. He’s a born hunter. It’s like breathing for him. But he can’t do it anymore, Baby. Hell, this is nuts, I should keep driving and check myself into the asylum.”
Sam parked in the hospital car park and stroked the steering wheel. “Thanks for listening. Don’t tell Dean I’ve been talking to you.”
He made his way up to the ward. Cas had told him on the phone that the Leshi had smashed Dean’s right arm - his good arm of course, just the Winchester luck - and his left ankle. Dean also had extensive bruising from being thrown across the forest floor. Castiel was waiting outside Dean’s room, looking worried and exhausted.
“I’m sorry Sam, he insisted I help the girl, wipe her memories. I can’t heal him, not yet. As soon as I can I will heal him.” Castiel was almost as upset and agitated as he had been when he found out that Dean had died and become a demon.
“Cas, you did what Dean wanted. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.” Sam knew his words were hollow. Cas knew his brother as well as Sam did and had that spooky “connection” with him.
“Thank you for lying to make me feel better, Sam,” Castiel said sincerely and Sam hid his smile.
Sam walked through the door of the side room where his brother lay. As soon as Dean saw him his battered body stiffened.
“Go on then,” Dean said, his voice resigned. He looked awful. His left arm was in a cast, as was his left foot, which was raised up off the bed by a pulley. His face was pale and he had huge black circles under his eyes. “Let me have it.”
“I was going to tell you that you were selfish, stupid, and reckless. That you broke your promise, again. That you could have died. Could have gotten Cas killed,” Sam said gently, but Dean still flinched imperceptibly at his words. “But you know all that, and I understand, Dean. You’re a hunter.”
Dean looked a little surprised, then shook his head. “No, not anymore.”
“Yes, you are. It’s what you’ve always been. You can’t help yourself. I get it. It’s who you are.” Sam said as moved closer to the bed, his eyes assessing Dean’s injuries.
“No!” Dean said more adamantly. “It’s who I was, Sammy. Not anymore. I can’t,” his voice dropped and his head lowered. “I don’t want to.”
Sam hoped Dean meant it, that it wasn’t just his injuries and the pain meds talking. He sat down and reached out his hand, taking Dean’s limp right hand in his. Dean couldn’t feel his touch but he could see it. “Good,” Sam said with a nod “because I can’t take this, Dean.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I fucked up Sammy, I lied to you. Julia’s sister is dead because of me.”
“You couldn’t have stopped that, Dean. She was dead before you even knew about her being missing.”
“Possibly. But how can I face Julia? What can I say?” Dean’s bottom lip trembled and he looked away from Sam as tears leaked from his eyes. “What the hell do I say?”
“The truth,” Sam said “she deserves to know.”
“That her sister was tortured and eaten? Fuck, yeah, she needs to know that,” Dean said then yelped in pain. “Fuck!”
“What’s wrong?” Sam asked.
“Tried to move my fucking arm, god dammit! Forgot. Fuck, I’m a total gimp.”
Sam started to laugh and Dean glared at him. “I’m sorry, but only you could manage to break your functioning arm.”
“Monster broke it for me,” Dean muttered.
Dean never got to tell Julia the truth. She visited Dean in hospital the day after he was admitted.
“Hey,” She attempted a smile but her face looked drawn and tired. “How are you doing?”
“Fine,” Dean wanted to reach out to her, offer her comfort, hold her, but he couldn’t and even if he was physically capable he wasn’t sure if he should. “Well, not fine but okay.”
“Thank you for going back, for trying,” she sat down, looking uncomfortable and distressed. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologise for,” Dean frowned in confusion.
“Sorry for what that monster did to you,” she sighed. “Sorry for us. I-I’m going home. My mom’s not coping well. I need to be with my parents.”
“Of course you do. They’ll need you for support over the next few weeks…”
“I’m going home for good, Dean. I’m going to transfer to a local college. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. I wish I could have saved her, Julia, saved all of them.”
“You did the best you could.” Dean’s head swam and he wasn’t sure if it was the medication or the vivid memory of Anna, the angel, saying the same thing to him. He let her down too. He let everyone down.
“Dean?” Julia’s voice called him back. “Dean, I said Rachel is going to be fine.”
“Sorry, I’m a little woozy,” Dean gave her a sad smile. “That’s great, about Rachel. Does she remember anything?”
“No, not really. She remembers being taken to the woods, a huge hollow tree and an old guy with weird eyes. But other than that, nothing.” Julia said, with a little shudder of revulsion.
“Just as well, I suppose,” Dean said. He knew he had to say goodbye and he wanted to let Julia know how much she had helped him. “Julia, I need to thank you.”
“For what?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Making me feel alive again, that life is worth living. That I need to stop thinking about the man I was…before… and make the most of life as I am, now,” Dean chuckled. “This sounded better in my head…”
Julia was up on her feet and cut him off with a kiss, her lips lingering on his for a moment, her soft, small hand cupping his cheek. “I didn’t know you before Dean, but the man you are now is nothing to be ashamed of. You are brave, kind, caring and beautiful. I wish we had met under different circumstances. I wish we could have got to know each other better, but timing…”
“Sucks.” They said together with a wry smile.
Dean was a “fucking useless gimp” for a week, three days spent in hospital and the rest back at home, driving Sam mad with his moaning and frustration. Castiel arrived exactly a week to the day of their hunt and healed him. Dean moved his right arm and left foot cautiously, a happy smile spreading over his face. Sam held his breath. Cas was stronger now, perhaps…
“Don’t get your hopes up Sammy. I’m still half a gimp,” Dean grinned, almost looking happy.
“I am sure that in time, once I am fully endowed with my power, I will be able to heal you completely, Dean,” Castiel said, shamefaced.
“Cas, hey, you fixed me up. I’m happy, really,” Dean interrupted the angel.
“Well at least you won’t need me to undo your trousers or wipe your…” Sam decided to keep the mood light; if Dean could do it, so could he.
“Shut your cake-hole!” Dean growled. “Bitch!”
Sam chuckled. “Sure, jerk.”
Castiel left with a bemused smile upon his face.
Later that night they sat side by side on the porch swing, both swigging beers.
“So,” Sam took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about you and Julia.”
“Me too, she was a great girl,” Dean sighed. “But she helped me Sam, a lot. I know now that I can move on. I can let myself get close to someone. And you, well, you can stop worrying about me, Sammy.”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” Sam grinned. “But it’s great to hear you sounding so positive.” Sam raised his beer bottle to Dean. “Cheers.” Their bottles met with a clink.
“Cheers. And thanks for not making too many jokes at my expense.” Dean said.
“I didn’t make any jokes at your expense.”
“That’s because you lack my wit,” Dean said, deadpan.
“No, it’s because I value my teeth, which you threatened to knock down my throat if I made any wisecracks.”
“True,” Dean chuckled and sipped his beer. “Sam, we’re gonna be okay. And I see good things ahead for you and Natalie.”
“Really? So you’re witty and a psychic now?”
Dean closed his eyes and droned, “I see a man with too-long hair down on one knee to a pretty young nurse; I see him holding out a box; I see the girl blush and squeal.” He opened his eyes with a grin.
“Very funny, Whoopi,” Sam couldn’t help but smile. “So you really think we’ll be okay? That you can do normal?”
“I do. I promise Sammy.”
“And you mean it this time.”
“Yep, I promise, Sammy,” Dean said seriously and this time Sam believed him. He felt his eyes smart with tears.
“Okay, enough. No chick flick moments. Let’s watch the game,” Dean stood up and Sam smiled to himself. Dean was going to be okay. They were going to be okay.
The End