Picking Up the Pieces for roque_clasique
Title: Picking Up the Pieces
Author: seramercury
Recipient: roque_clasique
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language
Author's Notes: I hope you enjoy your story! I loved all your prompts but the first one really stuck out for me. Also, thank you to scarletsherlock for the beta!
Summary: Sam can't stop remembering about the last time he spoke to Dean--seven years ago. He wants to know where his brother is but doesn't know how to track him down. Luckily as Pastor Jim was fond of telling him, the Lord works in mysterious ways.
It had been almost seven years, but the fight with his brother still haunted Sam's dreams. He had gone with Dean to search for their dad, who had gone missing. Sam knew it was a waste of time. John Winchester would be found when he wanted to be.
Sam had gone back to school that Monday and he went to his interview but promised Dean he would help him for a year at the most. Sam had been with Dean for six months when John Winchester returned ready to fight the demon that killed his wife.
Soon after, the three were in a bad car accident. Dean was badly injured and slipped into a coma. The doctors were not optimistic about his chances. John was suddenly found dead in the next room from a heart attack, but Sam and Dean knew better - especially when they found the Colt under the bed beside another body. John had traded his life to the demon for Dean’s.
Once Dean was discharged from the hospital, Sam told him he had to get back to school before the semester started. Dean was less than thrilled. "So that's it?” he asked. “You're gonna cut out on me now?"
"Dean."
"No, Sam. It's obvious you don't care about family."
"What?" Sam asked. "Dude, I've been out here with you for almost six months. I need to get back to school. I want a future."
Dean nodded. "Well it seems you just like to cut and run when you're bored with things. So go, Sam."
"Dean!"
"No. We're done." Dean turned and walked away before Sam could say another word.
*******
"Sam? Sammy?" Blinking, Sam opened his eyes to see Jessica looking at him with concern. "You okay?" she asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."
She gave him a look. "You're also lying."
"Yeah."
"Let me help you, please!"
Sam leaned over and gave her a kiss. "Later," he told her, figuring she’d forget. "I promise."
Of course Jessica didn't forget. She noticed that he was moody and got moodier when she turned on Ghost Hunters. She got sick of it and turned off the television. Sam blinked at her as she abruptly sat up, her blue eyes shining in confusion and determination.
"Jess?"
"Okay, Sam, I need to know what's going on in that head of yours."
"What?"
Jessica took a deep breath. She did not seem mad at him. She sat back down and took his hand. "Sam, I know that everything has been kind of crazy, but I want you to know that I'm here for you! I always will be too, but I can't help if you don't tell me what's bothering you."
"I... I want to, Jess," Sam told her. "I really do, it's just..."
She moved closer to him, placing a hand on his leg. "Just what, Sammy?" He flinched again. "Tell me, please?"
"Dean used to call me that," he said after a few minutes of silence. "Him and Dad were the only ones who could ever get away with it."
"Oh... I'm sorry. I don't have to call you that if you don't want me to."
Sam placed a hand on her cheek. "No, Jess, you can. Just family," he added with a smile.
She smiled back. "Where did you and Dean go off to all those years ago? You had always talked about how estranged you were with him and your Dad but the minute he showed up at our door you went with him and you almost ended up losing your big chance. I understand that family comes first, but if you consider me your family then why won't you tell me what's going on?"
He closed his eyes and nodded. Sam owed her as much, but he was just so damn scared of losing her. "Okay, I'll tell you, but I have to warn you that you may not like what you hear. And please just listen to everything before you say a word?"
Jessica nodded. "I can do that, Sam," she replied, raising his hand to kiss it softly. "Just start at the beginning."
Sam took a breath. Soon he was telling her about the fire, growing up in motel rooms across the country, and finally about the supernatural. She listened with rapt attention and she never once said a word even though Sam sensed she wanted to. Jessica held him as he struggled to get the last story out. The story about his dad and the yellow-eyed demon and how he had killed it and himself.
At the end he was a bit stunned that she was still sitting there. He closed his eyes only to open them when he felt her lips on his. "Sam, I believe you and I understand that you did what you had to do," she said.
"Thank you, I really appreciate that," he replied, hugging her close. "Dean tried to tell someone he loved the truth and she dumped him for it. Thought he didn't want to be in a relationship and was making shit up. And even when she saw the proof in front of her she wouldn't have anything to do with him."
Jessica frowned. "I feel sorry for her. Dean seems like a nice guy. And you, my dear Sam, are definitely a nice guy! I love you so much and that was even before I knew you were a hero!"
Sam blushed. "I'm not a hero, Jess."
"Whatever you say, Sam," she told him with a smile, curling up closer to him. They were quiet for a moment before Jess spoke up again. "Where is your brother? Don't tell me you just up and left him immediately after your dad died?"
Sam didn't respond right away because he had. He really had left the day after they salted and burned their dad's body. He couldn't handle how Dean had been. He had seemed indifferent somehow. Like what had happened didn't matter to him and now that Sam was thinking about it, that scared the shit out of him.
"Sam?" Jessica said.
"I did," he whispered.
Jessica stared at him in silence. She took a deep breath and stood up. "I want you to call him and invite him over right now, Sam." He looked up at her as if she had three heads. "You need to do this!"
"He's not gonna answer the phone if I call, Jess. It’s been seven years!"
"You don't know that and even if he doesn't, he's your brother and you should at least know where to find him," Jessica said. "Call Dean!"
Sam nodded and reached into his pocket for his cell phone. A familiar voice answered, but it wasn't Dean. "Pastor Jim?"
"Samuel," he replied. "The Lord works in mysterious ways. I was just about to call you. How fast can you get here?"
Sam glanced over at Jessica. "I'll hop on the next flight out. It should take me about four hours. Is he all right?"
"If he doesn’t stop this destructive path he’s on, I’m afraid he won’t be,” Jim replied. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jessica was waiting patiently for him to finish. "Is Dean all right?"
"God I was so stupid, Jess!" Sam said as he began rushing around the house. "I gotta go. I need a flight, I need to pack, I need to..."
"Sam, stop for a second! Please!"
Jessica's voice stopped him in his tracks. He stood there looking like a lost puppy, tears in his eyes. "Jess, he was always there for me. Through everything. He protected me and I just left him when he needed me the most!"
She took him into her arms. "Just relax, all right? I'll book our tickets and you get our things together."
"You don't have to come, Jess, this is my mess and I should be the one to fix it."
Jessica kissed him. "I know I don't have to, but I want to. Dean isn't the only one who's going to need someone. I love you, Sam, and I want to help."
"Thank you," he replied, with a smile.
*******
Dean woke up groggily. He glanced down at the bandages around his chest and could see a bit of blood that had seeped through them. He dropped his head back to the pillow and sighed. He really thought he was gonna be dead this time, but it looked like Caleb had found him. The last thing he remembered was being clawed by a werewolf and hearing a gun fire.
He heard Metallica in the distance and realized it was his cell phone. Where the hell was it? Dean slowly sat up, wincing at the pull in his side. He paused when he heard Pastor Jim talking.
"The Lord works in mysterious ways. I was just about to call you. How fast can you get here?"
Dean wondered who could have been calling him. Bobby maybe?
"If he doesn't stop the destructive path he's on, I'm afraid he won't be."
What destructive path, Dean thought to himself. So he'd been on a few hunts and ended up with injuries, what was the big deal? It's not like he had never been hurt before. Besides, it had been seven years since he had seen Sam. Seven years since their dad died and Sam took off. Dean had been so pissed about the whole thing that he couldn’t even call his brother to check on him. Well, it wasn’t like Sam called him either!
Dean could have sworn his days on a “destructive path,” as Pastor Jim called it, ended years ago. He had been messed up. He understood that Sam wanted a normal life but what they had was normal -- for them.
He had gone to visit Caleb and while he was there he had helped the hunter deal with a poltergeist that was living in one of the schools nearby. The damn thing had thrown Dean out a window and he had torn up his knee when he landed.
After that it was much harder for Dean to run away from werewolves or demons that were chasing him. It had gotten so bad that he was reduced to walking around with a cane. On one of his physical therapy days he met a young woman there, one of the therapists. He recognized her but couldn’t place her. It turned out she was Caleb’s niece Miranda. Dean remembered meeting her when he was about 15 years old. He also remembered trying to get Sam out of the way so he could talk to her. Well, his teenage definition of “talking.”
Miranda was there for him through his rough patch. She had seen many good hunters waste away into nothing when they had no one left. She didn’t want to see that happen to Dean, so she put him on track. Dean went to school and became a teacher. He never thought he’d even finish high school, let alone go to college.
After those two years Dean couldn’t handle being in one place for so long. He was getting stir crazy. He left to help Bobby Singer with research and pretending to be an assistant director of the FBI for hunters on jobs. Of course he took jobs here and there as a substitute teacher. Since he had a degree he could use, Dean felt it was time to stop breaking the law -- when he could help it.
Just last week he had gotten a call from Caleb asking for help with a hunt. Dean had jumped at the chance, since he was between jobs and he really wanted to do something other than read books and answer the phones.
Shrugging, he got to his feet and immediately turned around when he heard his name. "Christ!" he exclaimed, hand to his chest.
"No, not him," Pastor Jim replied with an amused expression on his face. "And Dean you know better to say the Lord's name in vain under my roof."
"Sorry. Just didn't hear you come in."
"Then I'm sure you didn't hear your phone ringing or that I was talking to Sam?"
Dean shook his feigning indifference. "He okay?"
"He's coming for a visit."
"Oh."
"Dean."
Dean limped towards the bathroom as he cleared his throat. "Gotta go," he said, effectively ended their conversation.
He did his business, but shut the lid and sat down on the toilet when he was finished. Sometimes he still couldn't believe his dad was gone and all Sam had done was run back to Stanford just like he had said he would. Since Pastor Jim told Sam to come to Blue Earth then Dean was going to have to sneak out of here. Of course that was more difficult than escaping prison because Jim Murphy was such a light sleeper. So Dean would need a plan and he would need to figure out what Pastor Jim had done did with his car keys and his cell phone. He started recon in 15 minutes.
About two hours later Dean had found everything and prepared to make his break while Pastor Jim was giving a sermon in the church. He had just made it to the Impala when a car pulled up. He inwardly groaned. He should have known it wouldn't take long for Sam to get
out there.
"Dean!" he called, getting out of the car. That's when Dean noticed that Jessica was with him and was paying the cab driver. Just what he needed. Someone else to pity him.
"Sam, what are you doing here?"
"What? I can't visit my big brother?" Sam asked.
Dean glared at him. "Not when you just skip out the way you did."
"I'm sorry, Dean," Sam replied, his eyes straying to the cane Dean held. "I just..."
"What?" Dean asked.
He knew he was about ready to have a fucking chick flick moment and in front of Jessica too, but he really didn't care anymore. He cared about nothing except trying to get everything out before he went crazy.
"Sammy, I needed you! Dad was gone and I needed you! But then what the demon said was true, wasn't it? It had to be because you just up and left. I have always fought for this family and no one gave a shit! I always promised to do everything for both of you, but who the hell promises me anything, Sammy? Oh that's right, no one because Dean is a good soldier. He follows every one of Daddy's rules and God
forbid he fails on the number one rule: PROTECT SAM! Well who the fuck is protecting me? I'm not talking about protecting me from a demon or any other supernatural creature..."
Dean took a deep breath and looked up at Sam. "Who's gonna protect me from myself?" he asked in a hushed whisper.
Sam stared at his brother in stunned silence. He took a tentative step forward and Dean took one back. Before Sam could say anything, Dean hobbled off behind the church. He was going to go after him when he felt Jessica's hand on his shoulder.
"Sam, give him some time to process what just happened," she said. "From the look in your eyes I can tell you're surprised. This isn't something Dean normally does, is it?"
He sighed, shaking his head. "Not at all. Dean's always been the one to hide his feelings. Hell, half the time when he got hurt we never knew until he was either falling over or infection had set in."
"Samuel!" The pair turned at the voice. Pastor Jim was walking over as the congregation slowly filed out of the church. He pulled the young man into a hug. "It's good to see you," he said.
"You too," Sam replied. "Uh, Pastor Jim, this my girlfriend, Jessica Moore. Jess, this is Pastor Jim Murphy."
She smiled, giving Sam a look that said they weren't finished talking about what happened, and extending her hand to the pastor him. "Nice to meet you."
"And you, dear," Jim said, returning her smile. "Please come inside. You two must be tired after your flight."
"So, um, we saw Dean a few minutes ago."
"He was trying to leave, wasn't he?" Jim asked.
Sam was shocked. "How did you...?"
Jim turned to face the couple as the climbed up the steps of the porch. Glancing at Jessica before continuing, he said, "I've been a hunter longer than you have, Sam, and I know your brother. He likes to avoid confrontation with his family even more than a werewolf, as was evidence a few nights ago."
"Werewolf?" Jessica asked. "Is he all right?"
"He's probably still in some pain, but it didn't do that much damage," Pastor Jim replied.
Sam finally asked, "Were you with him?"
"Caleb was. Come on, let’s get inside. You know Dean will come in when his stomach needs food," he added, with a smile.
*******
Dean was sitting under one of the apple trees in Pastor Jim's garden. He would come out here frequently when he was growing up and just needed to get away from everything for a while. He looked up when he heard footsteps coming towards him. It was a young woman with blond hair, but it wasn't Jessica.
She sat down and leaned against another tree, glancing over at Dean. "Hey," she said, smiling. "I hope you don't mind."
Dean shook his head, a smiling playing on his lips. "Not at all."
"Good, because I wasn't planning on leaving."
"Me neither," Dean replied with a chuckle, then turned to look back at the orchard. He remembered when he and Sam were little. The two had taken to playing hide and seek in the orchard. Sam had climbed one of the trees and was too freaked out to come down. Eventually Dean had been able to coax him down with ice cream.
Suddenly the girl moved next to him. "So...” she said. "How have you been, Dean?"
"Pretty good actually." Dean said. He smiled, remembering everything about this woman, especially her fiery personality. Caleb’s niece and Dean’s lover for a while after he parted ways with Sam. She had helped him through that rough time in his life. “How are you, Mira?”
She glared at him, crossing her arms. "I hated that nickname."
"Sorry, Miranda," Dean said with a smile even though he had always been the only person to get away with calling her that.
"Pretty good. I stopped to see my uncle. When he told me you were here, I had to come out and see you."
Dean nodded and adjusted his position. His side was killing him but he could tell this was something serious. She was probably pissed at him for just up and leaving without saying good-bye.
“You know I was always able to read your mind, Dean Winchester,” she said. “Yeah. I was pissed, but I got over it. Remember Sean? You were so jealous of him whenever he came around. Well, I married him last year.”
“Congratulations,” Dean told her. He was truly happy for her.
Miranda smiled her thanks, then glanced down at his shirt and saw blood soaking through. “Come on, let’s get you inside. I'm sure you're hungry anyway."
He was about to follow her then stopped. "Sam's in there."
"I know."
"I don't think I can really face him right now," Dean admitted. "Not after what I said to him earlier."
Miranda frowned. "Did you tell him you hated him?" Dean shook his head. "Did you tell him to fuck off?"
"Not really."
"Then you don't have anything to worry about. I'll get you up to your room where I can change the bandages, but then we're going to the kitchen because Pastor Jim is no doubt making a feast for us!"
Dean cracked a smile as he took her hand in his. "Think there'll be pie?"
*******
Sam and Jessica had started eating by the time Miranda came down. Pastor Jim smiled and introduced her to Sam and Jessica. "Where's Dean?" he asked.
"He'll be down in a minute," Miranda replied as she poured herself a glass of iced tea. "It's good to meet you."
Sam smiled. "You too, Miranda.”
Dean came down a few minutes later, a bit stiff from his injuries, but otherwise looking as if nothing was wrong. "Hey Jessica," he said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.
"Hi Dean," she replied with a smile.
Before Dean could even crack open the can, Pastor Jim came by and plucked it from his hands. "You should know better, son," he said, replacing it with a glass of iced tea.
Dean glared at him as he sat down. Miranda patted his hand and immediately the glare dissolved. Sam was stunned, to say the least. She seemed to have a calming effect on his brother. He also saw that Dean was walking with a cane. Pastor Jim had said he messed up his knee. And that Dean was a teacher. He thought maybe he had wondered into the Twilight Zone or something. He was just happy his brother found something he enjoyed doing.
The five ate in silence, each preoccupied with their own thoughts. Once the last piece of pie had been eaten (by Dean, of course), the girls quickly cleared the table and left the kitchen. Jim began to do the dishes but once he was finished he too left the brothers.
After a few minutes, Dean finally spoke up. "You'd think they did that on purpose."
Sam shook his head. "I wouldn't be surprised," he replied. "Dean, I'm... sorry."
"Sammy, I've had enough chick flick moments to last me a lifetime!"
Sam stood up, using his height to intimidate Dean, not that it ever worked before. "You got to say your piece earlier so it's my turn, okay?"
"Fine."
"Look, I know I haven't been the greatest brother in the world. Hell, I wasn't even the greatest son in the world, but I never meant to hurt you. I just... I guess I freaked out. I had to get out of it and go back to where I felt safe."
Dean flinched and Sam immediately regretted the words. He hadn't meant it the way it sounded. Of course Dean wasn't going to listen to apologies anymore. Without a word, he stood up and left the kitchen.
"Shit," Sam cursed, dropping his head to the table.
*******
Jessica was sitting on the porch when Dean came outside, rushing to his car. She immediately followed him when he attempted to open the door. It was locked and she had a good guess as to who had locked it and taken the keys.
Dean sank to the ground, leaning against the car. Jessica quietly sat beside him. "You know Sam loves you a great deal, right?"
"He has a funny way of showing it!" Dean replied, with a scoff.
Jessica nodded. "I know he does. I think it's a defense mechanism. You're larger than life to him, Dean. You've always been there for Sam and he knows it. I know it too, even without him ever telling me."
"Yeah, I guess. And cockiness is my defense mechanism. Jess, you don't know how much I'm scared that I'm not who Sam looks up to. Ever since that fucking demon... He said some pretty awful things to me and what made it worse was that he was possessing my dad at the time. It felt like a knife was stuck in my heart and he was twisting it hard."
Jessica placed a hand on his. "It was a demon talking, Dean, not your dad. From what little your brother has said about him, I know he was proud of you. He loved you!" She looked up at Sam, who was standing in front of them. "He loved you both!"
*****
Dean slammed the Impala's trunk shut then turned when he heard his name. "Morning, Sammy."
"Hey Dean," Sam replied, with a smile. It had been almost a week since Jessica had drilled sense into either of them and now Dean was going to drop Miranda off at home and head back to Bobby’s.
"You sure I can't convince you to come with me?"
Sam glanced behind him to where Jessica and Miranda were talking animatedly with one another. "Not right now," he replied. "We've accomplished what we originally set out to do. That doesn't mean I won't ever come out to hang with you."
"I know, Sam, it's all right. Besides I think it'll be good for us. Absence makes the heart... Dude, I don't know it."
Sam chuckled because Dean knew full well what the saying was. "Yeah, I agree. Take care of yourself out there, okay?" he said, extending his hand.
"You behave, Sammy," Dean said with a wink, then pulled him into a hug. "I'll deny these words ever came out of my mouth, but I love you, little brother."
"Feeling's mutual, Dean." Just then Jessica and Miranda came over to them. Sam smiled at Miranda. "I'm counting on you to keep him out of trouble."
Miranda grinned as she gave him a hug. "That's a tall order there, Sam, but I'll do my best."
"Thanks for everything," Dean said to Jessica as he smiled at her. He pulled her into a hug as well. "Sam is lucky to have you."
"He's pretty lucky to have you too, Dean. Be careful out there, okay?"
Dean nodded. "I will, Jess."
Miranda looked over at him, taking his hand. "Ready?"
"Yeah. Let's hit the road."
Author: seramercury
Recipient: roque_clasique
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language
Author's Notes: I hope you enjoy your story! I loved all your prompts but the first one really stuck out for me. Also, thank you to scarletsherlock for the beta!
Summary: Sam can't stop remembering about the last time he spoke to Dean--seven years ago. He wants to know where his brother is but doesn't know how to track him down. Luckily as Pastor Jim was fond of telling him, the Lord works in mysterious ways.
It had been almost seven years, but the fight with his brother still haunted Sam's dreams. He had gone with Dean to search for their dad, who had gone missing. Sam knew it was a waste of time. John Winchester would be found when he wanted to be.
Sam had gone back to school that Monday and he went to his interview but promised Dean he would help him for a year at the most. Sam had been with Dean for six months when John Winchester returned ready to fight the demon that killed his wife.
Soon after, the three were in a bad car accident. Dean was badly injured and slipped into a coma. The doctors were not optimistic about his chances. John was suddenly found dead in the next room from a heart attack, but Sam and Dean knew better - especially when they found the Colt under the bed beside another body. John had traded his life to the demon for Dean’s.
Once Dean was discharged from the hospital, Sam told him he had to get back to school before the semester started. Dean was less than thrilled. "So that's it?” he asked. “You're gonna cut out on me now?"
"Dean."
"No, Sam. It's obvious you don't care about family."
"What?" Sam asked. "Dude, I've been out here with you for almost six months. I need to get back to school. I want a future."
Dean nodded. "Well it seems you just like to cut and run when you're bored with things. So go, Sam."
"Dean!"
"No. We're done." Dean turned and walked away before Sam could say another word.
*******
"Sam? Sammy?" Blinking, Sam opened his eyes to see Jessica looking at him with concern. "You okay?" she asked.
He nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."
She gave him a look. "You're also lying."
"Yeah."
"Let me help you, please!"
Sam leaned over and gave her a kiss. "Later," he told her, figuring she’d forget. "I promise."
Of course Jessica didn't forget. She noticed that he was moody and got moodier when she turned on Ghost Hunters. She got sick of it and turned off the television. Sam blinked at her as she abruptly sat up, her blue eyes shining in confusion and determination.
"Jess?"
"Okay, Sam, I need to know what's going on in that head of yours."
"What?"
Jessica took a deep breath. She did not seem mad at him. She sat back down and took his hand. "Sam, I know that everything has been kind of crazy, but I want you to know that I'm here for you! I always will be too, but I can't help if you don't tell me what's bothering you."
"I... I want to, Jess," Sam told her. "I really do, it's just..."
She moved closer to him, placing a hand on his leg. "Just what, Sammy?" He flinched again. "Tell me, please?"
"Dean used to call me that," he said after a few minutes of silence. "Him and Dad were the only ones who could ever get away with it."
"Oh... I'm sorry. I don't have to call you that if you don't want me to."
Sam placed a hand on her cheek. "No, Jess, you can. Just family," he added with a smile.
She smiled back. "Where did you and Dean go off to all those years ago? You had always talked about how estranged you were with him and your Dad but the minute he showed up at our door you went with him and you almost ended up losing your big chance. I understand that family comes first, but if you consider me your family then why won't you tell me what's going on?"
He closed his eyes and nodded. Sam owed her as much, but he was just so damn scared of losing her. "Okay, I'll tell you, but I have to warn you that you may not like what you hear. And please just listen to everything before you say a word?"
Jessica nodded. "I can do that, Sam," she replied, raising his hand to kiss it softly. "Just start at the beginning."
Sam took a breath. Soon he was telling her about the fire, growing up in motel rooms across the country, and finally about the supernatural. She listened with rapt attention and she never once said a word even though Sam sensed she wanted to. Jessica held him as he struggled to get the last story out. The story about his dad and the yellow-eyed demon and how he had killed it and himself.
At the end he was a bit stunned that she was still sitting there. He closed his eyes only to open them when he felt her lips on his. "Sam, I believe you and I understand that you did what you had to do," she said.
"Thank you, I really appreciate that," he replied, hugging her close. "Dean tried to tell someone he loved the truth and she dumped him for it. Thought he didn't want to be in a relationship and was making shit up. And even when she saw the proof in front of her she wouldn't have anything to do with him."
Jessica frowned. "I feel sorry for her. Dean seems like a nice guy. And you, my dear Sam, are definitely a nice guy! I love you so much and that was even before I knew you were a hero!"
Sam blushed. "I'm not a hero, Jess."
"Whatever you say, Sam," she told him with a smile, curling up closer to him. They were quiet for a moment before Jess spoke up again. "Where is your brother? Don't tell me you just up and left him immediately after your dad died?"
Sam didn't respond right away because he had. He really had left the day after they salted and burned their dad's body. He couldn't handle how Dean had been. He had seemed indifferent somehow. Like what had happened didn't matter to him and now that Sam was thinking about it, that scared the shit out of him.
"Sam?" Jessica said.
"I did," he whispered.
Jessica stared at him in silence. She took a deep breath and stood up. "I want you to call him and invite him over right now, Sam." He looked up at her as if she had three heads. "You need to do this!"
"He's not gonna answer the phone if I call, Jess. It’s been seven years!"
"You don't know that and even if he doesn't, he's your brother and you should at least know where to find him," Jessica said. "Call Dean!"
Sam nodded and reached into his pocket for his cell phone. A familiar voice answered, but it wasn't Dean. "Pastor Jim?"
"Samuel," he replied. "The Lord works in mysterious ways. I was just about to call you. How fast can you get here?"
Sam glanced over at Jessica. "I'll hop on the next flight out. It should take me about four hours. Is he all right?"
"If he doesn’t stop this destructive path he’s on, I’m afraid he won’t be,” Jim replied. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jessica was waiting patiently for him to finish. "Is Dean all right?"
"God I was so stupid, Jess!" Sam said as he began rushing around the house. "I gotta go. I need a flight, I need to pack, I need to..."
"Sam, stop for a second! Please!"
Jessica's voice stopped him in his tracks. He stood there looking like a lost puppy, tears in his eyes. "Jess, he was always there for me. Through everything. He protected me and I just left him when he needed me the most!"
She took him into her arms. "Just relax, all right? I'll book our tickets and you get our things together."
"You don't have to come, Jess, this is my mess and I should be the one to fix it."
Jessica kissed him. "I know I don't have to, but I want to. Dean isn't the only one who's going to need someone. I love you, Sam, and I want to help."
"Thank you," he replied, with a smile.
*******
Dean woke up groggily. He glanced down at the bandages around his chest and could see a bit of blood that had seeped through them. He dropped his head back to the pillow and sighed. He really thought he was gonna be dead this time, but it looked like Caleb had found him. The last thing he remembered was being clawed by a werewolf and hearing a gun fire.
He heard Metallica in the distance and realized it was his cell phone. Where the hell was it? Dean slowly sat up, wincing at the pull in his side. He paused when he heard Pastor Jim talking.
"The Lord works in mysterious ways. I was just about to call you. How fast can you get here?"
Dean wondered who could have been calling him. Bobby maybe?
"If he doesn't stop the destructive path he's on, I'm afraid he won't be."
What destructive path, Dean thought to himself. So he'd been on a few hunts and ended up with injuries, what was the big deal? It's not like he had never been hurt before. Besides, it had been seven years since he had seen Sam. Seven years since their dad died and Sam took off. Dean had been so pissed about the whole thing that he couldn’t even call his brother to check on him. Well, it wasn’t like Sam called him either!
Dean could have sworn his days on a “destructive path,” as Pastor Jim called it, ended years ago. He had been messed up. He understood that Sam wanted a normal life but what they had was normal -- for them.
He had gone to visit Caleb and while he was there he had helped the hunter deal with a poltergeist that was living in one of the schools nearby. The damn thing had thrown Dean out a window and he had torn up his knee when he landed.
After that it was much harder for Dean to run away from werewolves or demons that were chasing him. It had gotten so bad that he was reduced to walking around with a cane. On one of his physical therapy days he met a young woman there, one of the therapists. He recognized her but couldn’t place her. It turned out she was Caleb’s niece Miranda. Dean remembered meeting her when he was about 15 years old. He also remembered trying to get Sam out of the way so he could talk to her. Well, his teenage definition of “talking.”
Miranda was there for him through his rough patch. She had seen many good hunters waste away into nothing when they had no one left. She didn’t want to see that happen to Dean, so she put him on track. Dean went to school and became a teacher. He never thought he’d even finish high school, let alone go to college.
After those two years Dean couldn’t handle being in one place for so long. He was getting stir crazy. He left to help Bobby Singer with research and pretending to be an assistant director of the FBI for hunters on jobs. Of course he took jobs here and there as a substitute teacher. Since he had a degree he could use, Dean felt it was time to stop breaking the law -- when he could help it.
Just last week he had gotten a call from Caleb asking for help with a hunt. Dean had jumped at the chance, since he was between jobs and he really wanted to do something other than read books and answer the phones.
Shrugging, he got to his feet and immediately turned around when he heard his name. "Christ!" he exclaimed, hand to his chest.
"No, not him," Pastor Jim replied with an amused expression on his face. "And Dean you know better to say the Lord's name in vain under my roof."
"Sorry. Just didn't hear you come in."
"Then I'm sure you didn't hear your phone ringing or that I was talking to Sam?"
Dean shook his feigning indifference. "He okay?"
"He's coming for a visit."
"Oh."
"Dean."
Dean limped towards the bathroom as he cleared his throat. "Gotta go," he said, effectively ended their conversation.
He did his business, but shut the lid and sat down on the toilet when he was finished. Sometimes he still couldn't believe his dad was gone and all Sam had done was run back to Stanford just like he had said he would. Since Pastor Jim told Sam to come to Blue Earth then Dean was going to have to sneak out of here. Of course that was more difficult than escaping prison because Jim Murphy was such a light sleeper. So Dean would need a plan and he would need to figure out what Pastor Jim had done did with his car keys and his cell phone. He started recon in 15 minutes.
About two hours later Dean had found everything and prepared to make his break while Pastor Jim was giving a sermon in the church. He had just made it to the Impala when a car pulled up. He inwardly groaned. He should have known it wouldn't take long for Sam to get
out there.
"Dean!" he called, getting out of the car. That's when Dean noticed that Jessica was with him and was paying the cab driver. Just what he needed. Someone else to pity him.
"Sam, what are you doing here?"
"What? I can't visit my big brother?" Sam asked.
Dean glared at him. "Not when you just skip out the way you did."
"I'm sorry, Dean," Sam replied, his eyes straying to the cane Dean held. "I just..."
"What?" Dean asked.
He knew he was about ready to have a fucking chick flick moment and in front of Jessica too, but he really didn't care anymore. He cared about nothing except trying to get everything out before he went crazy.
"Sammy, I needed you! Dad was gone and I needed you! But then what the demon said was true, wasn't it? It had to be because you just up and left. I have always fought for this family and no one gave a shit! I always promised to do everything for both of you, but who the hell promises me anything, Sammy? Oh that's right, no one because Dean is a good soldier. He follows every one of Daddy's rules and God
forbid he fails on the number one rule: PROTECT SAM! Well who the fuck is protecting me? I'm not talking about protecting me from a demon or any other supernatural creature..."
Dean took a deep breath and looked up at Sam. "Who's gonna protect me from myself?" he asked in a hushed whisper.
Sam stared at his brother in stunned silence. He took a tentative step forward and Dean took one back. Before Sam could say anything, Dean hobbled off behind the church. He was going to go after him when he felt Jessica's hand on his shoulder.
"Sam, give him some time to process what just happened," she said. "From the look in your eyes I can tell you're surprised. This isn't something Dean normally does, is it?"
He sighed, shaking his head. "Not at all. Dean's always been the one to hide his feelings. Hell, half the time when he got hurt we never knew until he was either falling over or infection had set in."
"Samuel!" The pair turned at the voice. Pastor Jim was walking over as the congregation slowly filed out of the church. He pulled the young man into a hug. "It's good to see you," he said.
"You too," Sam replied. "Uh, Pastor Jim, this my girlfriend, Jessica Moore. Jess, this is Pastor Jim Murphy."
She smiled, giving Sam a look that said they weren't finished talking about what happened, and extending her hand to the pastor him. "Nice to meet you."
"And you, dear," Jim said, returning her smile. "Please come inside. You two must be tired after your flight."
"So, um, we saw Dean a few minutes ago."
"He was trying to leave, wasn't he?" Jim asked.
Sam was shocked. "How did you...?"
Jim turned to face the couple as the climbed up the steps of the porch. Glancing at Jessica before continuing, he said, "I've been a hunter longer than you have, Sam, and I know your brother. He likes to avoid confrontation with his family even more than a werewolf, as was evidence a few nights ago."
"Werewolf?" Jessica asked. "Is he all right?"
"He's probably still in some pain, but it didn't do that much damage," Pastor Jim replied.
Sam finally asked, "Were you with him?"
"Caleb was. Come on, let’s get inside. You know Dean will come in when his stomach needs food," he added, with a smile.
*******
Dean was sitting under one of the apple trees in Pastor Jim's garden. He would come out here frequently when he was growing up and just needed to get away from everything for a while. He looked up when he heard footsteps coming towards him. It was a young woman with blond hair, but it wasn't Jessica.
She sat down and leaned against another tree, glancing over at Dean. "Hey," she said, smiling. "I hope you don't mind."
Dean shook his head, a smiling playing on his lips. "Not at all."
"Good, because I wasn't planning on leaving."
"Me neither," Dean replied with a chuckle, then turned to look back at the orchard. He remembered when he and Sam were little. The two had taken to playing hide and seek in the orchard. Sam had climbed one of the trees and was too freaked out to come down. Eventually Dean had been able to coax him down with ice cream.
Suddenly the girl moved next to him. "So...” she said. "How have you been, Dean?"
"Pretty good actually." Dean said. He smiled, remembering everything about this woman, especially her fiery personality. Caleb’s niece and Dean’s lover for a while after he parted ways with Sam. She had helped him through that rough time in his life. “How are you, Mira?”
She glared at him, crossing her arms. "I hated that nickname."
"Sorry, Miranda," Dean said with a smile even though he had always been the only person to get away with calling her that.
"Pretty good. I stopped to see my uncle. When he told me you were here, I had to come out and see you."
Dean nodded and adjusted his position. His side was killing him but he could tell this was something serious. She was probably pissed at him for just up and leaving without saying good-bye.
“You know I was always able to read your mind, Dean Winchester,” she said. “Yeah. I was pissed, but I got over it. Remember Sean? You were so jealous of him whenever he came around. Well, I married him last year.”
“Congratulations,” Dean told her. He was truly happy for her.
Miranda smiled her thanks, then glanced down at his shirt and saw blood soaking through. “Come on, let’s get you inside. I'm sure you're hungry anyway."
He was about to follow her then stopped. "Sam's in there."
"I know."
"I don't think I can really face him right now," Dean admitted. "Not after what I said to him earlier."
Miranda frowned. "Did you tell him you hated him?" Dean shook his head. "Did you tell him to fuck off?"
"Not really."
"Then you don't have anything to worry about. I'll get you up to your room where I can change the bandages, but then we're going to the kitchen because Pastor Jim is no doubt making a feast for us!"
Dean cracked a smile as he took her hand in his. "Think there'll be pie?"
*******
Sam and Jessica had started eating by the time Miranda came down. Pastor Jim smiled and introduced her to Sam and Jessica. "Where's Dean?" he asked.
"He'll be down in a minute," Miranda replied as she poured herself a glass of iced tea. "It's good to meet you."
Sam smiled. "You too, Miranda.”
Dean came down a few minutes later, a bit stiff from his injuries, but otherwise looking as if nothing was wrong. "Hey Jessica," he said as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.
"Hi Dean," she replied with a smile.
Before Dean could even crack open the can, Pastor Jim came by and plucked it from his hands. "You should know better, son," he said, replacing it with a glass of iced tea.
Dean glared at him as he sat down. Miranda patted his hand and immediately the glare dissolved. Sam was stunned, to say the least. She seemed to have a calming effect on his brother. He also saw that Dean was walking with a cane. Pastor Jim had said he messed up his knee. And that Dean was a teacher. He thought maybe he had wondered into the Twilight Zone or something. He was just happy his brother found something he enjoyed doing.
The five ate in silence, each preoccupied with their own thoughts. Once the last piece of pie had been eaten (by Dean, of course), the girls quickly cleared the table and left the kitchen. Jim began to do the dishes but once he was finished he too left the brothers.
After a few minutes, Dean finally spoke up. "You'd think they did that on purpose."
Sam shook his head. "I wouldn't be surprised," he replied. "Dean, I'm... sorry."
"Sammy, I've had enough chick flick moments to last me a lifetime!"
Sam stood up, using his height to intimidate Dean, not that it ever worked before. "You got to say your piece earlier so it's my turn, okay?"
"Fine."
"Look, I know I haven't been the greatest brother in the world. Hell, I wasn't even the greatest son in the world, but I never meant to hurt you. I just... I guess I freaked out. I had to get out of it and go back to where I felt safe."
Dean flinched and Sam immediately regretted the words. He hadn't meant it the way it sounded. Of course Dean wasn't going to listen to apologies anymore. Without a word, he stood up and left the kitchen.
"Shit," Sam cursed, dropping his head to the table.
*******
Jessica was sitting on the porch when Dean came outside, rushing to his car. She immediately followed him when he attempted to open the door. It was locked and she had a good guess as to who had locked it and taken the keys.
Dean sank to the ground, leaning against the car. Jessica quietly sat beside him. "You know Sam loves you a great deal, right?"
"He has a funny way of showing it!" Dean replied, with a scoff.
Jessica nodded. "I know he does. I think it's a defense mechanism. You're larger than life to him, Dean. You've always been there for Sam and he knows it. I know it too, even without him ever telling me."
"Yeah, I guess. And cockiness is my defense mechanism. Jess, you don't know how much I'm scared that I'm not who Sam looks up to. Ever since that fucking demon... He said some pretty awful things to me and what made it worse was that he was possessing my dad at the time. It felt like a knife was stuck in my heart and he was twisting it hard."
Jessica placed a hand on his. "It was a demon talking, Dean, not your dad. From what little your brother has said about him, I know he was proud of you. He loved you!" She looked up at Sam, who was standing in front of them. "He loved you both!"
*****
Dean slammed the Impala's trunk shut then turned when he heard his name. "Morning, Sammy."
"Hey Dean," Sam replied, with a smile. It had been almost a week since Jessica had drilled sense into either of them and now Dean was going to drop Miranda off at home and head back to Bobby’s.
"You sure I can't convince you to come with me?"
Sam glanced behind him to where Jessica and Miranda were talking animatedly with one another. "Not right now," he replied. "We've accomplished what we originally set out to do. That doesn't mean I won't ever come out to hang with you."
"I know, Sam, it's all right. Besides I think it'll be good for us. Absence makes the heart... Dude, I don't know it."
Sam chuckled because Dean knew full well what the saying was. "Yeah, I agree. Take care of yourself out there, okay?" he said, extending his hand.
"You behave, Sammy," Dean said with a wink, then pulled him into a hug. "I'll deny these words ever came out of my mouth, but I love you, little brother."
"Feeling's mutual, Dean." Just then Jessica and Miranda came over to them. Sam smiled at Miranda. "I'm counting on you to keep him out of trouble."
Miranda grinned as she gave him a hug. "That's a tall order there, Sam, but I'll do my best."
"Thanks for everything," Dean said to Jessica as he smiled at her. He pulled her into a hug as well. "Sam is lucky to have you."
"He's pretty lucky to have you too, Dean. Be careful out there, okay?"
Dean nodded. "I will, Jess."
Miranda looked over at him, taking his hand. "Ready?"
"Yeah. Let's hit the road."