Title: Scenes From A Life
Author: tifaching
Characters: Dean, Sam, John, Mary, Missouri
Rating: G
Disclaimer: SPN and its characters belong to the CW. I only play for fun.
Summary: Life is what it is, and Dean's life has always revolved around his family
Author's Notes: This is a series of ten interconnected drabbles. Nine are 100 words and the last is 99 to keep this fic under the word limit for the drabble portion of the challenge.
Thanks to
keerawa for suggesting ways to make this better, and to
suninmybones for reading it and giving such great feedback.
Mommy smiles a lot these days. She sings and hums and gets a look on her face that makes Dean want to crawl into her lap and stay there forever. One day as they’re cuddling in the big wooden rocking chair, Mommy’s lips brush his forehead and she whispers. “Want to know a secret?”
Dean nods eagerly. Mommy’s secrets usually involve cookies and hidden presents.
“Daddy and I are having another baby.”
Dean freezes. “Instead of me?”
“No honey, you will always be my baby too.” Mommy laughs and her arms tighten around him. “You’ll be an awesome big brother.”
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Dean’s been talking to Sammy for months. He puts his hands on Mommy’s belly and leans in close, tells his brother about the cookies he and Mommy made, or how much fun he and Daddy had at the park. Mommy says Sammy can hear him and Dean loves the idea that, even though Sammy’s not here yet, he already knows he has a big brother that can’t wait to meet him.
When the day finally comes, Dean holds his brother in his lap. “Hi, Sammy,” he whispers. “Remember me? I’m Dean.”
Sammy’s silent, but his tiny fingers grip Dean’s tight.
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Sammy doesn’t do much. Mostly he cries and sleeps but as time goes on, and Dean catches his baby brother staring at him from his car seat or high-chair, he becomes more interesting.
Dean takes care of Sammy. He holds the bottle while Sammy drinks, runs a cloth over him during his bath. He reads to Sammy about bunnies. At least that’s what he thinks the books are about. That’s what the pictures are, anyway. Dean’s favorite part of his story is when the big brother bunny saves his little brother from the farmer. Because that’s what big brothers do.
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Dean doesn’t know what wakes him, but it’s dark in his room. Mommy always turns on his Batman nightlight, even though Daddy says big boys aren’t afraid of the dark. The light comes on, but it’s jumpy and he hides his face from the flickering shadows.
He hears Mommy calling, then screaming, and Dean thinks Sammy and tries to make himself brave enough to go see. He does, and there’s fire, but then Daddy’s there, handing him Sammy and telling him run. He stops outside and he’s scared, but he doesn’t tell Sammy. Dean pretends and tells him it’s okay.
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Sammy’s crying. Daddy’s talking to the lady with the funny name, Misssouri, and he’s holding Sammy’s bottle wrong. Dean thinks the lady’s going to say something to Daddy about it but she doesn’t. Instead she looks straight at him.
“Baby, can’t you see your daddy needs your help?”
Dean doesn’t say anything back, but he climbs into Daddy’s lap and takes Sammy’s bottle into his own hands. He tilts it up just how he knows his brother likes it and Sammy starts to drink. Daddy’s hand absently rubs Dean’s back as Dean feeds Sammy and tries hard not to listen.
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Dean likes staying at Pastor Jim’s. It’s a real house with nice beds for him and Sammy. It feels safe there. Until Dad leaves.
There are cars and lots of places to run around and play at Uncle Bobby’s and Dean likes staying there even better. Except when Dad and Uncle Bobby fight.
His favorite places are the motel rooms they stop at each night, staying only when there’s a hunt. They’re usually small and noisy and sometimes they smell funny. When the word home comes into Dean’s mind he squashes it down. Home is Dad and Sammy; nothing else.
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Dean holds Sammy’s hand tight as they walk through the big double doors into the old brick school building. He remembers his first day of school like it was yesterday. Remembers the fear of being away from his family that had made that day last forever.
Sammy’s not scared. He’s looking around and smiling and talking a mile a minute. Where’s my room, Dean? Who will be my teacher? Do they really have lots of books?
When they get to the kindergarten Dean scans the room, though he knows Dad’s already checked it. Sammy won’t go in unless it’s safe.
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Sammy’s streaking down the field like a black dog’s chasing him, soccer ball flitting between his nimble feet. He feints left as he nears the goal, drawing his defender in, then jigs right and sends the ball rocketing into the net.
Dean grins as he rises to his feet. Sammy might bitch about training, but those moves didn’t come from any soccer coach. His “Go Sammy!” is ignored as his brother jogs up the field, surrounded by his jubilant teammates.
After, Sammy slams into the car. “It’s Sam, Dean. God, why are you so stupid?”
Dean drives home in silence.
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Dean does his best. Calls his brother Sam. Treats him like an adult. Talks Dad into doing a few hunts on his own so he can stay home and Sam doesn’t have to come with.
Dad and Sam are pulling him in two. Sam’s need to stay home, stay in school versus Dad’s need for help, backup on his hunts. It kills Dean to leave Sam, though Sam’s disdain for his big brother’s protection is clear. And it kills Dean to stay with Sam, knowing that it leaves Dad unguarded, more vulnerable when he’s alone.
His best isn’t good enough.
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Dean listens numbly as Sam springs his news on them. The blow up that follows is ugly, even by Winchester standards, and all of Dean’s diversionary tactics are useless.
Sam grabs his bag and storms out. Won’t let Dean drive him to the bus station.
Dad goes next, tires screeching as he leaves the parking lot.
Dean stands outside and stares at the door of what, until half an hour ago, had been his home. Sam’s gone. Dad’s gone. He can’t go back inside. He sits in his baby and closes his eyes, and all he sees are flames.